tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-199848162024-03-14T02:59:59.682+09:00Martial Arts DigestThis Blog is created as a forum to discuss the martial arts as a way of exploring the self, and as a vehicle for achieving personal life success.ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.comBlogger556125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-49630178484702076632024-03-08T10:55:00.004+09:002024-03-08T10:55:56.067+09:00Weathermen and Rainmakers<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbHMIoSApYM_EMYi7HSdLl5h44O3bESfuyNvJ8RNuVySrFViintObAydWm6Ynw9e5Normxgzepnlec6_Q9Qpz66qGlI46IGwV14nU1E_-remyDndj-7Yu0Pm8tBhWkO5lEQBDt9rCSwiX7WXWGoOzMga-GqwKjbfo4sP2NEo_OcYPXFiPcqvmF/s266/weatherman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="189" data-original-width="266" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbHMIoSApYM_EMYi7HSdLl5h44O3bESfuyNvJ8RNuVySrFViintObAydWm6Ynw9e5Normxgzepnlec6_Q9Qpz66qGlI46IGwV14nU1E_-remyDndj-7Yu0Pm8tBhWkO5lEQBDt9rCSwiX7WXWGoOzMga-GqwKjbfo4sP2NEo_OcYPXFiPcqvmF/s1600/weatherman.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(Thanks for the inspiration PM)</div><p></p><p>One of my close friends just came back from an industry conference. It was a big, multi-day affair with "experts" flying in from around the world to give keynotes and host breakout sessions, sit on panels and otherwise enlighten everyone with their insights. I've attended countless such events in the past and even presented at a few. They are great places to gather info, network, catch up with old friends and share the excitement of the industry.</p><p>However, my friend framed it in a way that made a lot of sense (he's good that way) and I realized his categorization applies much more broadly. After watching dozens of speaker sessions, he concluded that those on stage fell into two categories: <b>Weathermen and Rainmakers</b>.</p><p>Weathermen were those who gave "market insights", "trend analysis", "forecasts" or otherwise spoke in industry jargon and buzzwords about topics that were clearly well outside their sphere of control or influence. For example, when a central banker opined about AI calling it "transformative" whilst at the same time not actually doing anything in that space or having any experience in it, we can only see him/her as a weatherman, discussing storm patterns and their implications while simultaneously being unable to do anything about it. These presentations are often very entertaining, with colorful slides, catchy tag lines and visuals with generalized predictions and hypotheses about the future. In lieu of other contents, they present historical analyses and discuss the causes and effects, knowing full well that these past results may yield insights but never actually guarantee any future outcomes. They may even cultivate a specific look or persona, and might have curated a robust presence on social media to substitute for their limited actual skills or knowledge. In the end, they are never more than a part of the scenery and soon to be forgotten. A careful eye can always see through their facade.</p><p>On the other hand, Rainmakers present quite differently. Their focus is on what they themselves are driving and achieving, the products they are bringing to market (and specific delivery dates), their product pipelines and investments, their calendars of events. Rather than vaporware, they tend to demo real end user scenarios and present real measurable values. They operate solidly in the realms of what they can control and what they can influence - delivering not only thought leadership but also compelling calls to action for other participants to get involved. They build consensus and help organize work into teams and streams so it can actually get done - finding ways of making the impossible possible. Rather than be satisfied with hypotheses about the future, they are out there shaping and creating it every day. When they are in the room, you can feel their vitality. </p><p>In our own lives too, it is far better to be a rainmaker than a weatherman. We can do this by trying to keep our bias toward what we do as an extension of what we say, and to focus on what we can control or influence rather than just engaging in prolonged discussion of high-level academic topics. We can also continue to develop and hone our basic skills, since these are the building blocks of excellence. Preparing detailed task lists and meticulously executing on them with discipline is key to being a rainmaker. Making a habit of this will usually ensure you stay relevant to the matter in question and deliver results rather than just talk about someone else's.</p><p>In martial arts, too, there are plenty of weathermen. They are happy to opine endlessly about ki, or other esoteric topics and discuss advanced techniques, but under careful scrutiny are found to train very little and rarely work on their basics or fundamentals. They are often happy to invest lots of money on uniforms and equipment but less willing to invest in daily practice, which is the cornerstone of mastery. They have trouble developing or maintaining the habits of champions and easily find excuses to miss class or train at home and may only work when someone is watching. Their real progress is slow and their knowledge is shallow, since their actual investment of time and energy is minimal. </p><p>Martial Arts, like Life, is not a spectator sport and the greatest joy we can find is in participation. To be clear, I am not advocating violence or conflict. Instead, I am saying that I believe good, daily, martial arts training is the best way we have to maintain our inner peace. By doing so, we inevitably contribute to outer peace in our families, workplaces, communities and society.</p><p>Don't let yourself be a weatherman when you can be a RAINMAKER!</p><p>I am forever grateful for the many Rainmakers, past and present, that have continued to challenge me to be my best self and to maintain my training no matter what. Pugay Po!</p><p>See you at class.</p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-65034800646856307902024-03-01T10:38:00.003+09:002024-03-01T10:38:39.144+09:00Doubling Down<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmAKBQU-mL1kAA-3ioVWC9jub7qHYTiNp7dR7ESPcC21LTTqf0LN7RsZCYkgxiTHi38p5BlpyX7iI5xUmr_F572czTr-zHfy9HvlT_Ryg4yD85ahk3hsvNesQtwVFJ-EGjAVqXRJegC5x2i_mtrkjZvpoKvYwHpaP9PF_9wO60cxHFPSf5OGFH/s275/double.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="184" data-original-width="275" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmAKBQU-mL1kAA-3ioVWC9jub7qHYTiNp7dR7ESPcC21LTTqf0LN7RsZCYkgxiTHi38p5BlpyX7iI5xUmr_F572czTr-zHfy9HvlT_Ryg4yD85ahk3hsvNesQtwVFJ-EGjAVqXRJegC5x2i_mtrkjZvpoKvYwHpaP9PF_9wO60cxHFPSf5OGFH/s1600/double.jpg" width="275" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Here we are in a brand new cycle. Every three months in Kali Majapahit the curriculum changes. In general, during a cycle we will focus on either:<br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Single or Double Sticks</b></li><li><b>Empty Hand subsystem or other specialist weapon</b></li><li><b>Boxing or Kickboxing</b></li></ul><p></p><p>This time we will be working on double sticks. Sometimes I get asked "why double sticks? It's not useful..." Some students feel it is not as practical as single stick, with the logic that they are unlikely to have a pair of sticks handy at a time when they get attacked. Fair point. However, double sticks are worth far more in training than just their direct value in stick fighting self defense.</p><p>In modern combat sports, champions such as Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Joe Lewis and others pioneered the combination of western sports conditioning such as weight training and cardio to enhance their fighting performance. In no case did anyone challenge them by saying that lifting weights had no direct combat application. It was understood that improving the body's core strength, conditioning, flexibility, coordination and speed had overall performance benefits. Even the ancient Greeks knew this. Double sticks can be considered similarly in that although it may be highly unlikely for you to use double sticks in actual self defense situations, the training will improve your overall fighting skills in many other ways.</p><p>Double Sticks are training methodologies we use to deepen our coordination and dexterity. The drills work both symmetrically and asymmetrically to challenge us to learn to control our hands precisely across a variety of patterns. The drills of Inayan Escrima which are core to Kali Majapahit are designed to build from a foundation (Cabca) to more advanced drills (Sinawali) that teach us to move weapons together or independently without interfering with each other. This skill, whether applied with double sticks, double swords, double daggers, or any other set of tools of any length makes it very difficult to defend. Especially for asymmetric movements in odd timing signatures, the defender will be very challenged to successfully block both hands across a full chain of attacks. As well, these drills help develop the ability to simultaneously defend and attack (often using one weapon for each) which is both efficient and highly effective.</p><p>Mastering double sticks requires deep focus and concentration to cement the muscle memory needed to execute the movements smoothly and at speed. The focus and concentration sharpened by this training enhances not just our other martial arts skills but also our performance in any other sport or physical activity.</p><p>In many traditional arts, dual wielding is not introduced until mid-level black belt rank (3rd dan black belt or higher). For FMA it is an essential skill that is part of even the beginner curriculum. Simple drills make great warm ups and can even be isometric training when done very slowly with heavy tools.</p><p>Below are common drills which are used to master double sticks. These can be adapted and/or combined with dynamic footwork and movement to increase difficulty. They can even be done in groups of three people to increase difficulty.</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Cabca 1-8 including ladders, one-hand principle, right/left principle, high/low principle, mirror principle</b></li><li><b>Sinawali 2-9 including ladders, one-hand principle, right/left principle, high/low principle, mirror principle</b></li><li><b>Sinawali 6 variations including abanico, redondo, dunga, doble doble</b></li><li><b>5 count sumbrada including free flow</b></li><li><b>4 count sumbrada including variations such as punyo strikes</b></li><li><b>Hubud Lubud (including punyo sumbrada)</b></li></ul><p></p><p>All of the above drills can be done with symmetric tools (such as two identical sticks, blades or nunchaku) as well as asymmetric tools such as espada y daga, stick and tomahawk, karambit and daga, etcetera.</p><p>I'm very excited for this cycle and the skills it can help us develop.</p><p><br /></p><p>See you at class. </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-18850307772345741282024-02-25T11:55:00.005+09:002024-02-25T12:10:08.797+09:00Warming Up<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3b4enPEf0fQlMLMwT8jAPdjd_y8a1RiZgZIPWO8m-5R_a0xlLN8b_tBvrDL0PvbBouMWbEa_LsLHVmTvLIEo-PW3Ohl9UKPz9KbHm_OC5RDED6ooRRez8-JdxdAQ0NT7Js2_oe4JI79r3KrgOzoRRF4Q_t2SwfD9NZB3OMzEkXw8WyRjsNtoG/s550/warmup-1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="413" data-original-width="550" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3b4enPEf0fQlMLMwT8jAPdjd_y8a1RiZgZIPWO8m-5R_a0xlLN8b_tBvrDL0PvbBouMWbEa_LsLHVmTvLIEo-PW3Ohl9UKPz9KbHm_OC5RDED6ooRRez8-JdxdAQ0NT7Js2_oe4JI79r3KrgOzoRRF4Q_t2SwfD9NZB3OMzEkXw8WyRjsNtoG/w320-h240/warmup-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Every class starts with a warm up. Why? Why don’t we just grab our sticks and start swinging??</p><p>There are several reasons:</p><p><br /></p><p><b><u>Reduce the Risk of Injury</u></b></p><p>First and foremost, we warm up to get the blood flowing into the extremities and loosen up the muscles and joints. For many students, the day is spent sitting at a desk or in front of a computer. The human body is designed to be in motion. Long periods of inactivity are simply not good for the body. The joints stiffen, blood flow slows and energy levels decrease. At the start of class we want to reverse this and get the body ready to be very active throughout the lesson.</p><p>Especially during colder weather, our bodies may automatically concentrate blood flow to the core, further slowing capillary action to the hands and feet, both of which we will need throughout the class. Thus, the warm up must articulate the fingers and toes so they are at full capability for the lesson.</p><p>For those of us who are older (I'll be 58 this year), strenuous physical activity without warming up first results in days of soreness and stiffness that could have been avoided with a simple stretch before starting.</p><p><b><u>Increase Mobility & Flexibility </u></b></p><p>In addition to increasing blood flow and preparing our muscles for physical activity, warming up is a good time to work on mobility and flexibility. As we activate the various joints we can work on slowly increasing the range of motion in the joints and lengthening the muscles. This promotes joint health and also prepares us to perform better during the class.</p><p>Given the amount of time most of us spend sitting every day, my warm ups are centered around spinal health and mobility. About half of the warming up we do is targeted at the three areas of the back/spine (cervical/thoracic/lumbar) in order to try and offset the damage of sitting and keep the spine relaxed and flexible. Kali is a whole-body movement, so having a very active spine is essential for power generation and mobility.</p><p>Studies have shown that the best gains in mobility via stretching occur when the muscles are already warm - this would suggest stretching at the end of class. This is true, however, the mental aspect of the warm up is also very important.</p><p><b><u>Prepare the Mind</u></b></p><p>In our modern society information moves very fast. We are constantly bombarded by messages and data, and our jobs and social networks expect us to be connected 24/7. We are often worrying about yesterday or tomorrow and have trouble to be in the NOW, which our Zen Buddhist training teaches us is the most natural state of being. Not only is this a principal cause of stress and anxiety for most of us, it is very dangerous when we are about to start swinging sticks at each other.</p><p>For safety it is very important to leave the outside world outside when we come to class. The goal is to experience the class completely, and to do so without concern for anything else. This allows us a respite from the rigors of our daily responsibilities - a break when we can feel free - at least for the duration of the class.</p><p>Many of my high-performing professional friends engage in extreme exercise such as trail running, marathoning, free diving and the like for exactly this reason. Many also practice meditation, yoga, stoicism and other spiritual disciplines. The overwhelming, constant stress of their fast-paced lifestyles will burn them out if they cannot allow their minds to escape periodically.</p><p>In Hagakure, the famous book of advice for young samurai, Yamamoto Tsunetomo writes about training to be completely calm in the midst of a raging battle, a metaphor that would apply to many of us I think.</p><p><b><u>Breathwork</u></b></p><p>Guro Fred often worked on our breathing with us. It sounds silly to imagine you need a martial arts class to teach you to BREATHE, but the sad reality is that many of us breathe in a very shallow way and fail to challenge our lungs' capacity. As he would say "the lungs are like a pair of balloons, it's important to stretch them". This not only improves cardiovascular performance (VO2 Max) but also helps to calm and quiet the mind. Breath control is a central element of proper Zazen and a cornerstone of most yogic practices, for example.</p><p>During the warm up, I often remind students to work on controlling their breathing and, from time to time, we do the exercises Guro Fred introduced in order to improve overall lung capacity.</p><p><b><u>So then, What?</u></b></p><p>At KM Japan, our warm up is usually done from top down, starting with the neck (cervical spine), shoulders (activates the thoracic spine by mobilizing the shoulder blades), elbows, wrists/fingers. Wrist warm ups are done using the core 3 locking positions of aikido (ikkajo, nikkajo, sankajo).</p><p>We then move on to the hip rotations (lumbar spine) and beach ball rotations. We move to the floor series and are focused on stretching the hip flexors (common source of back pain and headaches) and groin. We do deep lunge stretching to target the hamstrings and calves as well as pigeon pose stretches for the outside of the hips/glutes before returning to additional back stretches and side stretches. We finish by activating the ankles and toes for stability/mobility.</p><p>This series takes about 12 minutes to complete and allows students time to ease their minds into the focus for the class. It may be a bit long for a one-hour class but at KM Japan we have the luxury of a two-hour session 2/week so this investment into warming up is sufficient.</p><p><b><u>In Conclusion</u></b></p><p>Like many FMA systems, Kali Majapahit uses the triangle as a universal symbology. It can mean many things, but I often use it to symbolize stability and balance. In this case, balance between mind/body/sprit which is important to maximize the benefit of every training session.</p><p>Warming up is a great habit to start every day, whether you have Kali class or not (Actually, please train Kali every day too). This will help you face the day relaxed and confident as your best self.</p><p><br /></p><p>How do YOU warm up? Let me know.</p><p><br /></p><p>See you at class...</p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-19946090948739539982024-01-01T22:33:00.001+09:002024-01-01T22:42:14.646+09:00The Grandmaster<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQFgwv3YHNRuTcq6bgg-5L2dTjSNA8Sqs1InO7HKsCCCC89t9BTroB9tTQCBLHChBMBt4xAmDqCobj31kcR_mc3OzNwJuve_0Au38Cfzj8Ig5B3NE7OJaNXA6-PY2XCg_nMTkbW4IuUjDKQ0AghWvbzBoruby70V1igLU71ia5hu1ODgDDM6Nh/s768/PG%20Fred.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQFgwv3YHNRuTcq6bgg-5L2dTjSNA8Sqs1InO7HKsCCCC89t9BTroB9tTQCBLHChBMBt4xAmDqCobj31kcR_mc3OzNwJuve_0Au38Cfzj8Ig5B3NE7OJaNXA6-PY2XCg_nMTkbW4IuUjDKQ0AghWvbzBoruby70V1igLU71ia5hu1ODgDDM6Nh/s320/PG%20Fred.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Last week, as 2023 drew to a close, I was honored to attend a very special and important award ceremony. During this online event, attended by more than 30 Kali Majapahit black belts from all over the world, my teacher, Punong Guro Fred Evrard, received his 8th degree black belt / Grandmaster rank. This was conferred by Dakilang Jeff Espinous, who has been PG Fred's teacher, mentor and friend for over 30 years since his beginning in FMA. Also in attendance were other senior masters such as Guro Bruno from Tahiti, Guro Claes Johansson, founder of Kali De Mano and more. All have been with Guro Fred and Guro Lila for decades and know every detail of their lifework to establish Kali Majapahit. All agree he is well-deserving of the 8th degree black belt and Grandmaster title. As Dakilang Jeff mentioned, we could easily have hundreds of people attest to Guro Fred's worthiness. </p><p>Guro Fred is still very weak from advanced stage cancer and has been fighting with great courage for nearly two years. Despite this, he is still a beacon of positive energy. A true warrior and an incredible inspiration to us all.</p><p>As is customary in KM gatherings, we all took turns making comments to mark the occasion. At the camps we would all be in a circle, usually after an evening workshop by Guro Fred or one of the other masters, and reflecting on what we had learned.</p><p>When my turn came, I spoke about how grateful I was for the trust that Guro Fred and Guro Lila placed in me 12 years ago, supporting me to establish Kali Majapahit Japan, the first overseas KM school. Since then, we have graduated 8 black belts (so far) and taught KM to hundreds of students. We continued despite COVID and we expect to keep going no matter what.</p><p>I am certain that without KM, I would not be a martial arts instructor today. I had been a martial artist for many years before I met Guro Fred and Guro Lila, and already had three other black belt teacher ranks in Japanese martial arts. However, I wasn't teaching. I didn't feel ready and likely would never have. I loved Yoshinkan Aikido (still do) but not sure I would ever have been allowed to teach it (especially not in Japan).</p><p>Kali Majapahit gave me a platform to research and discover who I could become as a martial artist. It also rekindled in me a passion to share my insights on martial arts with others that had begun with this blog back in 2005. I wasn't ready to start up a school back in 2011. I didn't even have a Kasama (assistant instructor) rank back then. Nevertheless, Guro Fred and Guro Lila believed in me. They encouraged me to start a study group so I could keep training. They knew I would follow through. That trust meant everything to me. The rest, as they say, is history.</p><p>Kali Majapahit's global family has given me a place to belong, which has been the foundation of what I've been looking for all my life.</p><p>I was born small, premature and weak. I was left face down in my crib for so long that my right eye failed to develop and is still blind today. My birth parents divorced when I was barely a year old and I was placed into a foster family with a different name. I spent over 10 years in therapy/social work with the State of Illinois. Growing up I was skinny and nerdy with masking tape holding my thick glasses together, not good looking or fashionable or athletic. I had ADHD and was constantly restless. I couldn't sing, dance or draw (I still can't). I was picked dead last for everything - or not picked at all. I had no particular skills apart from reading. I had very few friends (only other outcasts like me) and was bullied relentlessly every day from elementary school all the way into high school. I never had a girlfriend or attended any school events. I was never included in anything at all. I was ignored; forgotten. I didn't exist outside of the annual yearbook photos.</p><p>I didn't belong in my foster family. I didn't belong in school. I didn't belong...anywhere. I felt like I didn't belong in this world at all. In those lonely days I often thought about suicide.</p><p>When I joined my first real dojo at 14, I became part of something. As a member of the dojo, people didn't care if I was a foster kid or had a social worker. Nobody cared if we were poor. Nobody judged me for my past. All that mattered was showing up to class, following the instructions and doing my best. For the first time in my life I felt accepted. I've been doing martial arts ever since. I think I always will be.</p><p>Guro Fred and Guro Lila's belief in me, aided by the advice of Guro Ben and the other KM instructors, the guidance of mentors like Dakilang Jeff, Guro Claes, Sifu James, Suro Jason and other masters, and the trust of my students have brought me a life I could never have imagined all those years ago. It's beyond my wildest dreams. Together we are a force of change, a bright and positive light in a world that always feels so close to darkness.</p><p>We are Peaceful Warriors --- I am beyond proud to be one of you and to help spread this message of Love, Peace, Compassion and Hope for everyone who needs it - just like I needed it. Saving other people saves ourselves.</p><p>So THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who has been a part of my journey.</p><p>Most especially thank you to Fred Evrard, my teacher. I am proud to call you Grandmaster.</p><p>To me, a Grandmaster is someone who changes the world. Someone who goes beyond the limits of martial arts mastery to a far deeper spiritual awakening and uses this to be the power of change for others. Grandmaster Fred is the definition of this for me. He continues to inspire me to never settle for anything less than living my very best life every day. I promise to continue to do so.</p><p>Maraming Salamat Po, Guro </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-40181339461290242532023-12-20T10:07:00.005+09:002023-12-20T20:24:56.644+09:00Fasting - My Approach<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUWadgNeHgkkSoUHfZ4psLIqxZ4Q6EPHj2XP_H1dSvXTC7fR_3oeLGr_4WH9CBHOJNsA2amsMUm5FEkUZlMSkX7b8HdtnOhr_uML2CIlUjUYJxWqZN0CdQVzkPhiwRLMJ6cvAXGOZcigasCzymt3USLvIOglv8J9UIBTuBGPQBqA0cJdxg2pqZ/s259/fast.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUWadgNeHgkkSoUHfZ4psLIqxZ4Q6EPHj2XP_H1dSvXTC7fR_3oeLGr_4WH9CBHOJNsA2amsMUm5FEkUZlMSkX7b8HdtnOhr_uML2CIlUjUYJxWqZN0CdQVzkPhiwRLMJ6cvAXGOZcigasCzymt3USLvIOglv8J9UIBTuBGPQBqA0cJdxg2pqZ/s1600/fast.jpg" width="259" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>After 5 days, I'm now in the process of finishing my fast. I feel great and could continue indefinitely but for this round 5 days is enough. Going into a fast, the fast itself, and coming off the fast are all important stages in the process and should be managed carefully to avoid any health issues. I will describe the process I used below.</p><p><br /></p><p><b><u>Why Fast? Why now?</u></b></p><p>Fasting is a custom that has existed in some form since the beginning of human civilization. There are proven health benefits to fasting including lowering blood sugar, weight loss, improved digestive health and others. Additionally, there are many spiritual benefits as well. In many religions, fasting is a part of tradition and done at various times throughout the year as a way of demonstrating gratitude and humility to a higher power. In my case, with the holidays coming up I wanted to reduce my weight and lower my blood sugar in anticipation of some year-end gatherings and events. Many people gain weight over the holidays through parties, drinking and the like. In my case I chose to "pay it up front" by fasting beforehand.</p><p>Additionally, recognizing that it has been a difficult and challenging year for me with a lot of struggles in a lot of areas I wanted to release some of the negativity, anger and stress and recover my focus to head into 2024. In many spiritual disciplines, fasting is a precursor to new awakenings and awareness, part of a soul-cleansing process which I could use right about now.</p><p>Fasting is a reminder that our relationship with food is like any other relationship. It needs to be observed regularly and reset when it changes from being a healthy relationship to being a toxic relationship. In a healthy relationship, we eat the right foods in the right quantities to give good nutrition and feel happy. We share meals with friends and family and enjoy the time we take together. Meals are not rushed, and we anchor our schedule around them. Meals help us to achieve our overall health goals.</p><p>However, when our relationship with foods becomes toxic, we rush through meals, snack constantly, binge on sugar and high-carbohydrate snacks. We eat at irregular times and may eat alone. We are in a hurry due to stress/pressure and do not allow the proper time to digest. We may skip meals or deliberately choose unhealthy foods or drink too much alcohol.</p><p>As a recovered type 2 diabetic, I have gone from very restricted diets, counting my macros and weighing my food, to slowly allowing myself an occasional sweet, to not minding my meals or snacking in-between meals. This happened gradually over several months but I knew I needed to reset. A fast was a perfect way to do so.</p><p>It allowed me the chance to look at my food lifestyle and make some changes back to a healthier way of eating and position me to succeed the holiday season socially without digging myself into a deeper hole. Many people find themselves saddened in January and resolving to diet/go to the gym and so on. I intend to weigh less and feel better. Fasting up front was the right approach for me.</p><p><br /></p><p><b><u>Preparing to Fast</u></b></p><p>Fasting comes in many forms including water fast, dry fast, bone broth fast, intermittent fast, etc. In some cases, detox fasts are combined with colonic cleansing enemas for a more complete effect. Some are shorter duration/periodic, while others can be used as part of an overall lifestyle approach. In my case, my intent was to do a water-based fast. In this fast, no food is chewed during the fast, but basic essential vitamins and minerals are taken through supplements and fruit/vegetable smoothies/shakes.</p><p>Prior to starting the fast, in addition to getting the necessary vitamins and supplements, I recommend ramping down calorie intake and switching from processed to whole foods (preferably vegetables only). Alcohol should be stopped as well as any snacks or treats especially those involving processed white sugar. Meat intake should be reduced or eliminated although mild fish can be taken if necessary. Preparation is best raw, or steamed/grilled and fried foods with coatings are best avoided.</p><p>Depending on the duration of the fast I recommend ramping down anywhere from 24-36 hours to get your body (especially digestive tract) prepared for the fast without shock to the system. This will minimize adverse effects such as headaches, constipation, dizziness, etcetera. I did a 24 hour ramp down to prepare for a 5 day water fast, for example. If doing a 10 day or longer fast I would do a 3 day ramp down.</p><p><br /></p><p><b><u>The Fast Itself</u></b></p><p>My regimen was:</p><p><u>Morning</u></p><p>700g green smoothie of mainly vegetables (carrot, spinach, greens) but some limited fruits (mango, apple orange, kiwi, prune)</p><p>protein shake of 24g whey protein powder mixed with non-sweetened oat/almond/soy milk</p><p>2 capsules psyllium husk total 1,400 mg</p><p>1 multivitamin</p><p><u>Lunch</u></p><p>protein shake of 24g whey protein powder mixed with non-sweetened oat/almond/soy milk</p><p>2 capsules psyllium husk total 1,400 mg</p><p><u>Dinner</u></p><p>protein shake of 24g whey protein powder mixed with non-sweetened oat/almond/soy milk</p><p>2 capsules psyllium husk total 1,400 mg</p><p><br /></p><p>I used Nature's Way "Alive" Men's Ultra Potency complete multivitamin, which I take regularly anyway. The psyllium husk is designed to cleanse the colon, and is used commonly in detox fasts even without the colonic cleansing enema. I also used Now brand psyllium husks. Both are available in Japan via Amazon or iHerb.</p><p>During the fast, it is advisable to drink no less than 3 liters of water per day. I got a 1L bottle and had one in the morning, afternoon and evening.</p><p>Since I was doing this fast in winter, I needed to be sure to stay warm. I allowed myself unsweetened tea or black coffee in addition to water. If I felt weak or dizzy I would have a drinkable cup soup and rest. This was no more than 1-2 per day as needed.</p><p>My calculated daily calorie intake including the smoothie and proteins was less than 500K calories per day.</p><p>Fasting usually comes in several stages.</p><p><b><u>Stage 1 - day 1 to day 3 - shutdown</u></b></p><p>During this stage the body is still expecting food to arrive. The stomach rumbles and we can feel very hungry. Emotional stress (hangry) may manifest. Some people may experience serious loss of energy. Weight loss can be significant and often due to loss of water weight.</p><p><b><u>Stage 2 - days 4-5 - detoxing starts</u></b></p><p>During this phase, the body begins to detox and you may experience headaches, bad breath, sweats, acne or other skin rashes as your body adjusts to no food intake and starts cleaning. During this phase you may have extremely vivid dreams and interrupted sleep. It may be hard to concentrate or focus. I personally found this to be the hardest phase. Weight loss continues, often due to cleansing of the colon.</p><p><b><u>Stage 3 - plateau - days 5-7</u></b></p><p>During this phase some of the physical symptoms disappear, but mentally it can be challenging as we may experience boredom and listlessness. Weight loss tapers off here so the visible effects of fasting are minimized, which may cause a loss of motivation.</p><p><b><u>Stage 4 - perpetuity - day 7 plus</u></b></p><p>At this stage, we achieve acceptance and can begin to see the fasting as something we could continue if desired. Hunger pangs are gone, the body is cleansed and focus is sharpened. You may need much less sleep (I needed only 5 hours per night) to feel refreshed. Emotionally, we feel refreshed and lightened.</p><p>During my first fast in Thailand, I met an Italian lady who was on day 41 of her fast. She was lean, strong from daily yoga practice, focused and intense. Completely present in the moment. Her blue eyes were like bright shining stars and her smile lit up the room. This was the kind of person I wanted to be.</p><p><b><u><br /></u></b></p><p><b><u>Coming off the Fast</u></b></p><p>It has been said that "any idiot can fast. Just stop eating". This is true. However, especially during a fast longer than 36 hours or so, your body will change. Coming off the fast safely requires addressing those changes.</p><p>During the fast, your digestive tract bacteria will die. These are very important for gut health and help break down food so we can digest it. These can be replaced by probiotic yogurts or even through a colonic insertion which replaces healthy bacteria directly back into the large intestine. I recommend probiotic yogurts daily for the first 2-3 days.</p><p>Eating while coming off the fast should be done similarly to ramping down. That is, whole natural (preferably raw) vegetables and fruits. It's best to avoid processed foods, fried foods, heavy carbohydrate foods, sweets or alcohol for at least the first few days. In addition, very spicy or acidic foods are not recommended until the body is readjusted.</p><p>Some recommendations include soups, porridges, salads and smoothies. In general, garlic/ginger, turmeric, cinnamon, mineral salts, cayenne pepper (in moderation) are good for breaking fasts. I personally like raw carrots and bananas. </p><p>Failing to follow safe dietary guidelines will likely result in headaches, constipation and bloating. If so, laxatives may be needed to return the digestive function to a normal cycle.</p><p><br /></p><p><b><u>Some Guidelines</u></b></p><p>For my fast, I kept the following guidelines:</p><p><b>Increase sleep</b> - allow at least 10 hours/day to sleep and rest</p><p><b>Keep Active </b>- aim for 10k steps per day. No hard exercise though (weights, running, cycling, swimming)</p><p><b>Weigh daily </b>- track every KPI you can including weight, BMI, sleep time/quality, etc. If possible, take blood test before and after the fast</p><p><b>Allow for cold weather</b> - dress warmer to keep body heat and warm using black coffee, tea, hot water</p><p><b>Keep a Daily Journal or blog</b>- this can help record your thoughts and feelings (and data) for later review</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b><u>Experience the Journey</u></b></p><p>My first detox fast was at Spa Samui in Thailand nearly 25 years ago. It was a very emotional 10-day experience including full fast with 3/day colonic enemas to cleanse the colon. I lost 10kg in 10 days and felt reborn. Some months later, I met my wife. That year we were married.</p><p>While fasting, try to avoid thinking forward (what you will eat when the fast is over) or backward (coulda/woulda/shoulda) and keep your focus on the here and now. Allow yourself to experience the discomfort and understand that you will endure/survive it. Use this little suffering to find solidarity with the suffering of everyone everywhere and reconnect to your heart of compassion and gratitude. We are all so very blessed and lucky, and fasting is a great reminder of this. Some people fast because they simply don't have enough to eat. Sharing a little bit of what much of the world is forced to experience builds our empathy - an essential attribute for any peaceful warrior.</p><p><br /></p><p><b><u>In Closing</u></b></p><p>Fasting is a great way to reset the mind and body and to prepare yourself for deeper spiritual insight. It can even help you find answers to personal problems you have been facing. Whether you fast weekly or only once or twice a year, regardless of duration a fast can be a useful tool for overall health.</p><p>The above is NOT medical advice and I am not a medical professional. It is the result of 5 experiences of fasting I have done, with varied results, over the past 23 years and is for reference only. Before trying a fast be sure to consult a medical professional and monitor your health regularly. Stop your fast and seek medical attention if you feel at risk.</p><p>Bon Appetit and Happy Holidays!</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-18245192807228059482023-12-15T10:31:00.002+09:002023-12-15T23:18:47.759+09:00How to Train in KM - the value of the subsystems<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjogfzmE93yVoSUoKN6cuo1ZAU764dRlFoIhTRcwRdAKCsemd8PrjTU810gElyrPKqS4W-zDmLjLpGTW1XFix-5MmFo01DD6tuXnjSuKCSDMISwJ2AhAJyw9BnbtLHSteODdbtaeVmZb-XLQaVEPvGke77nlZrwmWJbBfd3af-chHGlMuYoaNqq/s1280/dural.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjogfzmE93yVoSUoKN6cuo1ZAU764dRlFoIhTRcwRdAKCsemd8PrjTU810gElyrPKqS4W-zDmLjLpGTW1XFix-5MmFo01DD6tuXnjSuKCSDMISwJ2AhAJyw9BnbtLHSteODdbtaeVmZb-XLQaVEPvGke77nlZrwmWJbBfd3af-chHGlMuYoaNqq/s320/dural.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Thanks for the inspiration SC)</span></div><p></p><p>When I started training in Kali Majapahit back in 2008 we were in a beaten up (nostalgic?) shophouse on Yan Kit Road in Singapore, a ragtag bunch of diverse men and women hungry for all the knowledge that Guro Fred Evrard and Guro Lila Evrard (the founders) had brought together during their respective lives in the martial arts. They had just completed a 4-year journey around the world (yes, I'm jealous) and trained deeply with so many legendary masters, enhancing their already decades of experience. Somehow they settled briefly in Singapore and established the first KM school. The result of their years of research is <a href="https://www.amazon.com/KM-Lineage-Historical-Tactical-Overview/dp/B0C5YT5QQC/ref=sr_1_10?keywords=Fred+Evrard&qid=1702601646&sr=8-10">Kali Majapahit</a>, a comprehensive, truly multi-cultural Southeast Asian Martial Art. Since then, KM has grown to 18 locations in 9 countries all over the world.</p><p>Kali Majapahit is (I think) unique in that it is named after the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/place/Majapahit-empire">Majapahit Empire</a>, which spanned almost all of Southeast Asia for several hundred years and involved cultural sharing and trading across what became China, The Philippines, Indonesia, Thailand, Cambodia and beyond. Thus, our system is not just FMA, it encompasses techniques from all over Asia. Other FMA styles are organized into subsystems for ease of understanding, but ours is based on subsystems which are culturally very different, and require a broad understanding to apply correctly.</p><p>On one hand, this is daunting, especially for new students, since Kali Majapahit can be a bit hard to define or classify. Our various subsystems express very differently and this can be a bit confusing at first. At the same time, the synthesis of understanding across our subsystems allows students to experience much, much more than they every could in any other single martial art (in my opinion).</p><p>Our subsystems include Filipino Kali, Indonesian Silat, Southern Chinese Hakka Kuntao, Muay Thai/Muay Boran, JKD and Western boxing/wrestling. In many schools (especially mine in Tokyo, Japan) we also have expertise in traditional Japanese martial arts like Aikido, Judo, Jujitsu and Kenjutsu and these elements are blended into our flow.</p><p>The result is diverse and rich, with depth and scope (just like our instructors and students!). There is a lot to discover and the content never becomes boring. In Tokyo, our classes are two hours long, during which we get to explore and practice at least three subsystems each time.</p><p>It is important to note than in each subsystem there are many elements which are common, particularly those which involve our body mechanics, since the goal of generating power, keeping balance, remaining mobile apply to every fighting situation. However, the theories and philosophies of HOW to do that differ significantly between subsystems. This requires students to understand the body more deeply, and learn to use their bodies in multiple ways to create the desired outcomes. When we move in Silat, the footwork and physical attitude is very different from that of Western boxing or Muay Thai, just as Hakka Kuntao movement differs completely from that of aikido. No one way of moving is empirically better than another - they are all useful lenses to view ourselves in three-dimensional space. Rather than just having different techniques, each subsystem is designed to allow the student to explore a completely different way of moving - from the footwork upward. This requires fundamentally changing the way we think and act whenever we switch.</p><p>Guro Fred often talked about the attitude or "look" that we were to aspire to. When doing each subsystem, we were expected to look like a dedicated professional of that style. When boxing we should look and move like a pro boxer. When doing Muay Thai like a pro fighter. When doing Hakka Kuntao, like a practitioner dedicated to only that. Of course, Guro Fred could always easily show us what that meant and when he moves it's like watching a team of experts at once!</p><p>This training gives tremendous flexibility and optionality. The ability to flow from subsystem to subsystem smoothly creates a significant challenge to any opponent we face, since instead of just fighting one person, they then feel like they are fighting five (or more). Every time they think they understand or could anticipate how we move we switch, shifting from one subsystem to another as opportunities present themselves.</p><p>Thinking about this reminded me of the legendary <a href="https://www.virtuafighter.jp/">Sega videogame VirtuaFighter</a>, which has a character called Dural (left in the picture at the top). Dural's skill is the ability to <a href="https://youtu.be/fuj_ZGrGUxE">instantly transform</a> into any VF character and use their moves and abilities. This is extremely challenging to defeat, which is also why Dural is the Final Boss.</p><p>Likewise, a mastery of the various KM subsystems is worthy of your time and investment if you also want to BE A BOSS!</p><p>See you at class </p><p> </p><p> </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-49594036626987478802023-11-06T11:25:00.010+09:002023-11-06T21:49:41.055+09:00Fifty Seven<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-EFTPqH3b-MUhrskztm9Kc7bqxMnw1SV2oOSAWPASRYbiHaYqZfijItRzRqpHMiny-w0Es8UxXIicynDgTUsWZxQt9S1huyDhu1aJwlSapepY4ASqO-yS2h0QXX_v5yLf_RsLv4WT9-nzkXjkKz0nytkJH39PxCQ6lumFhHgvZeUzPQIT3Uel/s555/57.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="555" data-original-width="481" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-EFTPqH3b-MUhrskztm9Kc7bqxMnw1SV2oOSAWPASRYbiHaYqZfijItRzRqpHMiny-w0Es8UxXIicynDgTUsWZxQt9S1huyDhu1aJwlSapepY4ASqO-yS2h0QXX_v5yLf_RsLv4WT9-nzkXjkKz0nytkJH39PxCQ6lumFhHgvZeUzPQIT3Uel/w173-h200/57.webp" width="173" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Well, here we are. Another trip around the sun and now arrived at 57.</p><p>Overall, the year has been volatile, with a lot of highs and lows, especially for someone at this stage of life. I always expect things to "calm down" and somehow they never really do. The world seems to careen from one crisis to the next and the news remains depressing and hopeless. I can feel the seething rage under the surface of so many people. I guess I hoped that after COVID we'd learn to love each other more. Being an idealist is a tough and thankless job.</p><p>On the plus side, I had several meaningful trips this year including Hanoi (solo), New Orleans (with George) and Bali (with Ray). Each trip was really good and travelling with my boys is something I always dreamed about. It feels wonderful to share these experiences with them. On every trip, I managed to get in in a cooking class or two, and these have been so enjoyable that I now want to take a cooking class every time I travel. The results continue to pay dividends through noticeable improvements in my skills/confidence for Vietnamese, Cajun/Creole and the basics of Balinese cooking. I love replicating the dishes at home and building on what I learned. My health remains stable after my bout with T2 Diabetes. I'm making more time for the gym and consistently able to be at Kali class 2/week and that helps. </p><p>My mental health has been mostly good, with the exception of a few high stress moments throughout the year now stabilizing into a rhythm that I feel I can keep. Each of these stresses has led to deeper realization about what is important to me, and learning to let go of that which is not (definitely easier said than done).</p><p>This year has also involved a lot of loss. Iconic actor Sylvester Stallone said in his bio on Netflix "Sly", "All your life you keep adding things. And then at some point things just start getting subtracted." Throughout the year, I have keenly felt the slow subtraction, as everything I have collected in my personal and professional life starts to go away bit by bit. My career trajectory slows, friends and loved ones move away/pass away and overall it just feels like more is going out than is coming in. The near loss of some very close friends to cancer causes me to hate cancer even more than I ever did (which was A LOT). FUCK CANCER.</p><p>I'm glad that what remains is (usually) what was most important, and the process ends up being (mostly) the stripping away of the superficial to reveal the truth within. The truth about myself, my environment, my choices and those of the people around me. I have (and spend) less time on bullshit and feel more focused on what matters to me. I don't have many regrets in my life and there is not much I would choose to do differently even if given the chance. However, the recent sudden loss of my beloved pug XieXie at 13 years old is still painful and maybe always will be. She showed me so much and inspired me to learn to love unconditionally like she did. I still have a long way to go and healing takes time.</p><p>Illinois Children's Home and Aid Society on Dearborn Street in Chicago, where I got put in transition to foster care back in 1967, feels a long way from Yokohama, Japan where I am now. I've been fortunate to have had a wonderful adventure, with all the ups and downs it has included, and I am overflowing with gratitude.</p><p>Hopefully, I'll have a few more posts like these before my time comes. When it does, I want to pass like XieXie did: at home, surrounded by my loved ones, wanting for nothing, knowing that my life meant something, feeling like I did my best.</p><p>Until then, thank you for sticking with me. See you on the mats.</p><p>Love and Peace.</p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-50660872782031572972023-09-11T12:08:00.000+09:002023-09-11T12:08:05.351+09:00Gaining Experience<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr2PknUQWiQQgVZSWznl8GjFfTIUcIO153wg7tGblwgHpN4ms8u-hVoggRwnDCc8uOwRocDKkj9BEzl1PcUfBIy5BsYmGULhFBq_BCypaLgvmDpwmiqUvQBFhhYyy58fNymtZQSjkp2InzIkgMLaSW0I5NoRKBKpcfikflXvImPuYDGK0DQtwg/s1920/exp.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr2PknUQWiQQgVZSWznl8GjFfTIUcIO153wg7tGblwgHpN4ms8u-hVoggRwnDCc8uOwRocDKkj9BEzl1PcUfBIy5BsYmGULhFBq_BCypaLgvmDpwmiqUvQBFhhYyy58fNymtZQSjkp2InzIkgMLaSW0I5NoRKBKpcfikflXvImPuYDGK0DQtwg/s320/exp.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(thanks for the inspiration Kenji)</div><p></p><p>"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted" --- Randy Pausch</p><p><br /></p><p>"If you could go back in time, what would you have done differently?"</p><p>The question hit me hard. I thought about it for a long, long time. I've done so many bad things, hurt people, made so many mistakes, failed so many times... In every category of my life I've seen, felt and done so many things I wish I hadn't. I've cried every flavor of tears ranging from happiness and joy to anger, rage, loneliness and grief... and everything in between.</p><p>What if I had the chance to do it all over again or to erase some of my countless errors? Wouldn't I have to take it? What would I have done differently??</p><p>Actually, nothing.</p><p>I never think of myself as a remarkable person. I am average in just about any way I can think of. Physically, mentally, economically. Nothing special. At least nothing more special than anyone else. If I have had any advantage, it is having emotional resilience. Because of my childhood in foster care and the Illinois Children and Family Services system, I saw and experienced a lot for a young boy. I endured years of therapy and counseling and struggled most of my life (even now) with low self-confidence and a poor self-image. It has taken me decades to overcome (mostly) my abandonment issues and deal with the anger and rage I felt toward my biological parents for giving me up - despite knowing it saved my life before I was even a year old.</p><p>Again and again I have been broken. Broken physically, mentally, emotionally so many times as life seemingly dealt me every bad card in the deck. Until it didn't. Did Life change or did I change? After struggling so hard from birth into my mid-twenties, my dreams (finally) began to come true, starting with going to community college and, ultimately, making my way to Japan which had been my dream and focus for over ten years. I nearly gave up so many times, including having my first three attempts to get to Japan end in failure. I tried to take my life more than once, and I am grateful I didn't succeed.</p><p>In the end, a lifetime of hardship and struggle made me resilient and independent. I have learned so much...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I learned that I can choose to show up for myself and be active in seeking my own success and happiness each day. </li><li>I learned that, with effort, I can let go of my pain, sadness and fear and allow myself to experience joy and believe that I deserve a happy life despite my past. </li><li>I learned that I can forgive and be forgiven, even when I thought it would be impossible. </li><li>I learned that life is not set in stone. Far from it. While I am alive, there is always something I can do.</li><li>I learned that even though I came from a broken family, a broken family need not come from me.</li><li>I learned the true, irreplaceable value of friendship.</li><li>I learned that nothing, good or bad, lasts forever.</li><li>I learned that the sun will still rise and the Earth will still spin, no matter what befalls me. I am just not that important. None of us are.</li></ul><p></p><p>Could I have learned those things without all the good and bad experiences I have had? Could I have found them out any other way? I don't think so. I am exactly who I am, flaws and all, because of all the scars. As per The Butterfly Effect, any changes I would have made would have led me to somewhere else, and I accept where (and who) I am now. I don't need any more and would not want to risk having any less.</p><p>I have not had an easy life, and I don't think it has gotten easier. I just exchanged one set of problems for a bigger and more complicated set. I know more people, but have the same small amount of close friends. My day-to-day is narrow and focused and becoming more so as time goes by. I am so much clearer now about what (and who) I want in my life and what (and who) I don't. I am aggressive in pruning away what I don't want.</p><p>I desperately want to believe the world is better with me in it, and will be better when I leave it. I put most of my time and energy into trying to prove that. I am keenly aware of my own mortality.</p><p>Unfortunately, the only real way to get experience is to get out and do things. Challenge yourself and be prepared to accept the consequences. In every case, I have found a way forward even if it wasn't what I thought it would (or should) be.</p><p>In the end, I'm truly, deeply sorry for all the people I've hurt and disappointed along the way. I hope in time they will be able to forgive me. At the same time, I am profoundly grateful for it all. Even the worst things in my life have taught me something important. In many cases I learned more from what went wrong than I ever did from what went right.</p><p>What's most important is just to keep going, no matter what. Pauses are OK but don't stop. Make sure you complete the course. The experience will be worth it. I promise.</p><p><br /></p><p>See you at class. </p><p><br /></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-78617510708217150382023-08-08T10:34:00.014+09:002023-08-24T21:42:06.829+09:00The Power of Healing<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTf8tvYxRNAskM0qL5LqqrbCz_9f12SboM7FepjaUi8daTePH4TosP-C1BDEjZCRNUxZ4LIo7FpH7RW2QziLbObRBFhuqyrIdwVKVlIKNPXHHDIxiw6XMKySFeC1Req_jOvDBj_HNfjbEk31PQt20LuolrlLNCWiCOiwhBGcWRQEGu0R7z8PBg/s259/bones.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTf8tvYxRNAskM0qL5LqqrbCz_9f12SboM7FepjaUi8daTePH4TosP-C1BDEjZCRNUxZ4LIo7FpH7RW2QziLbObRBFhuqyrIdwVKVlIKNPXHHDIxiw6XMKySFeC1Req_jOvDBj_HNfjbEk31PQt20LuolrlLNCWiCOiwhBGcWRQEGu0R7z8PBg/s320/bones.png" width="320" /></a></div><div><br /></div>
Recently I read an account of famed social anthropologist Margaret Mead given by physician and author Ira Byock. Mead was asked what she considered to be the first signs of civilization in a culture. Her answer intrigued me. She said that the first sign of civilization in a culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and healed. She further explained that in the animal kingdom, a broken thighbone invariably means death. You cannot hunt or forage or keep up with the others and so you die. Being unable to fend for yourself, no animal, even in a pack, survives long enough to heal from such an injury. A broken femur that has healed is the sign of a civilization that has cared enough for an injured member to feed and support him/her until he/she recovers. It shows caring and compassion.
To Mead this was the essence of social structure - caring for each other. <div><br /></div><div>I would go even further and suggest that healing is not just about caring for others' physical injuries, but for their mental and emotional traumas as well, which can often be just as debilitating.
In the martial arts world, too, we see both extremes. Modern martial arts these days seem to promote "practical and tactical" quasi-militaristic models to prepare their participants for the MMA cage or "urban warfare". Many of them tout their military origins, wearing BDUs and adding firearms and other lethal training methods into their tactical response programs. They often appeal to the fear of their student base by portraying a violent, post-apocalyptic world where each daily commute or trip to the supermarket is a potential fight for survival. Many systems are now incorporating sports science, nutrition and peak performance coaching in their programs in an effort to achieve greater outcomes.
To me, none of this is inherently bad. The Martial Arts is a continuum of "Martial" and "Arts" with many points along the curve for each person to choose what best suits him/her.</div><div><br /></div><div>That being said, I think every instructor has an inherent moral obligation to teach their students to behave in an ethical manner. We should emphasize the importance of right action in the right moment as a means of protecting ourselves and others, as well as recognizing our responsibility to be compassionate and caring to as many others as we possibly can. For example,in the original movie "The Karate Kid", the antagonist Cobra Kai have the motto of "Strike First. Strike Hard. No Mercy", which is used as an example of an aggressive mentality that equates modern social situations with battlefield combat. While looking cool to the impressionable young boys, ultimately many of them discover that the Cobra Kai's moral framework is inappropriate in suburban Southern California. </div><div><br /></div><div>In contrast, the movie presents Miyagi-do karate as having "respect for all life" and we see recurring examples of Mr. Miyagi's compassion, even to his supposed "enemies". We viewers clearly understand the moral high ground by the end of the film, and like in most cinema, the better man wins and is rewarded for developing good character as modeled by his teacher. It is interesting to note that both instructors, John Kreese and Mr. Miyagi, were decorated war veterans - Mr. Miyagi receiving the medal of honor in WW2 and John Kreese earning a field commission in special forces in Vietnam. What is clear is that both men, both martial arts masters, had very different philosophies based on their upbringings and wartime experiences.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is often the case that we are stopped from action by fear. We feel afraid and so we fail to do what we should to defend ourselves or others. Paralyzed by fear we watch as bad events unfold, despite the fact that we could have prevented or minimized them. As Yamamoto Tsunetomo points out in his book on bushido, Hagakure (hidden leaves), the purpose of "living life as though one is already dead" is to provide us the freedom to fulfill our destiny as warriors - not just in service to one's superiors, but in service to all others. Yamamoto is really cautioning readers to work diligently to let go of fear so they can achieve their own greatness.</div><div><br /></div><div>I firmly believe that respect and compassion are the foundation stones of all good martial arts training in any serious dojo, and those teachings should be at the heart of what we instructors model in our own behaviors and reinforce in our communities. </div><div><br /></div><div> Healing others heals us.</div>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-22753933004364972472023-07-27T14:02:00.001+09:002023-07-27T14:02:46.377+09:00Response to "Epistemic Viciousness: Taking Martial Arts Seriously"<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyS64QHWspmdEY3BrQwzaVG8jpduJYKLoyg2PIMbg-Ry9GcSkZ8rVFVZeC5guLuZKkr4NNCEaW8CKvEu1FXJoaFf1R2TKqru5G5tIDn4ng5Er0iBJievgc1JVRLn1-DfUxRl0pd-L45XBxzmWRUOP-URqA98DHq0tn7VJwKzZKRh_g-1jQqt0r/s367/KM%20logo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="125" data-original-width="367" height="109" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyS64QHWspmdEY3BrQwzaVG8jpduJYKLoyg2PIMbg-Ry9GcSkZ8rVFVZeC5guLuZKkr4NNCEaW8CKvEu1FXJoaFf1R2TKqru5G5tIDn4ng5Er0iBJievgc1JVRLn1-DfUxRl0pd-L45XBxzmWRUOP-URqA98DHq0tn7VJwKzZKRh_g-1jQqt0r/s320/KM%20logo.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Yesterday I shared the above article, <a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://chinesemartialstudies.com/2020/08/31/epistemic-viciousness-taking-martial-arts-seriously/&source=gmail&ust=1690510098453000&usg=AOvVaw133k7UYoa-XA87iwBbqfQM" href="https://chinesemartialstudies.com/2020/08/31/epistemic-viciousness-taking-martial-arts-seriously/" style="background-color: white; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;" target="_blank">https://chinesemartialstudies.<wbr></wbr>com/2020/08/31/epistemic-<wbr></wbr>viciousness-taking-martial-<wbr></wbr>arts-seriously/</a>, with our broader instructor team and some of them mistakenly thought I wrote it. Of course I'm flattered, but it was not mine. I merely submitted it for discussion since there are numerous interesting themes mentioned. The article itself is a response to an editorial piece from the South China Morning Post (SCMP), cited <a href="https://www.scmp.com/comment/opinion/article/3098592/what-kung-fu-can-teach-us-about-self-deception">here</a> (paywalled, sadly).</p><p>I will do my best to respond to the points raised, and I hope you will share your views in the comments as well. As martial artists, we should never shy away from discussing the issues that involve our training and teaching, in the hopes that we can be better informed and deliver more for ourselves and our students.</p><p><b><u>The "Value" of Traditional Martial Arts Practice</u></b></p><p>The original editorial article laments the seeming ineffectiveness of traditional Chinese martial arts in favor of more modern expressions such as MMA and Krav Maga, mentioning that the traditional approach does not allow for independent thought or scientific method by the students - instead requiring a cult-like acceptance of anything the Master says as being true and unquestionable. Compared to modern arts, in traditional dojos there is a decidedly militaristic quality in traditional practice, with lots of ritual and formality coupled with rigorous discipline and respect for authority, especially for instructor ranks. By contrast, modern combat sports like MMA and Krav Maga (even Judo, BJJ, boxing and Muay Thai) can sometimes feel more like a gym cardio kickboxing workout than a martial arts class.</p><p>So if traditional martial arts do not easily defeat these modern systems in a fight, what is their value? Are they even worth studying anymore?</p><p>As a 40-plus year student and teacher of both traditional and modern styles, I feel both have merit. I would absolutely say that my formative time in traditional Japanese martial arts dojos from age 14 onward was invaluable to help me become who I am today and I see these arts as more necessary than ever, especially for young people. Why?</p><p>First of all, I categorically reject combat success as the sole objective of martial arts training. Rather, I would say if your principle goal is to be able to defend yourself/injure others in a fight you are far better off arming yourself with a weapon than studying martial arts. The learning curve for most people to survive a real fight is long and, depending on the encounter, chances of success are limited even then. This is without even addressing the idea that modern combat sports are just that - sports. Yes, a trained boxer can injure people. So could a trained rugby player. It is a particularly foolish assumption to suggest that victory in combat sports (with rules) equates to successful combat performance - even for Krav Maga (unless you are in the Israeli military) or LEO training. Empirical evidence shows that some proper training does help, but does not even remotely guarantee success in a violent encounter. Additionally, combat sports have a very poor track record in court for those who use them indiscriminately. Without a deep awareness of the law in each jurisdiction, injuring someone in a fight will get you arrested, sued and potentially land you in prison. This is not worth it unless violence is absolutely unavoidable. Furthermore, teaching combat sports to children/young adults requires extreme care, since a lot of moral judgement is required to know when it is OK to use these techniques and when it isn't. Even if a young person might not go to jail for delivering an elbow to a classmate's face on the playground or pitch there are still serious repercussions (including emotional trauma) for doing so without clear justification. </p><p>Discipline and Respect for authority are important skills for becoming a successful adult in modern society. As a person who has spent more than 30 years living in Japan, I can attest that it is useful to understand how to create harmony inside and outside the workplace, and to learn to establish and strengthen relationships both upward and downward (senpai and kohai). My time in the dojo helped me develop universal respect - respect for myself, respect for the other students, respect for the seniors/instructors, respect for the traditions/history of the art. This was never done out of fear, guilt or negativity, but rather by encouraging a sense of belonging as part of an organized hierarchy - something the 14-year old me was desperately yearning for. My teacher knew how to motivate me outside the dojo as well. If my grades were low or I got in trouble, or if my foster parents complained he would simply not allow me to train for a while. That was enough to get my total compliance. My behavior and grades improved dramatically and, during a time when most teens are rebellious, I was able to maintain healthy relationships with my parents and others. I think it is also worth noting that modern combat sports often emphasize the individual player over the group. Matches are 1:1 and sparring is central to the training. In traditional schools, the organization and hierarchy are very important. In a very traditional dojo, a member is not even mentioned in the dojo record until they are instructor level. One's place in the social fabric must be earned through training and interaction, not just by fighting skill. </p><p>I spent my first 7 years training in ninjutsu, including both taijutsu and kobudo, eventually becoming familiar with all the weapons we used. Weapons training as well, increases focus/awareness and develops respect for the inherent danger to yourself and your training partners. After my initial 7 years, my teacher sent me to another master for specific work on kenjutsu/Iaijutsu, as I requested. This involved long hours of suburi and seiza for conditioning, as well as practice cutting (tameshigiri) with a variety of traditional weapons on his farm in Indiana. In addition, I am sure for every hour on the mats I spent at least another hour or more studying. My teacher's curriculum was based on both pen and sword, meaning that I was required to study military history (especially Japanese), large and small unit tactics, politics, philosophy/spirituality and more. I was also required to range certify with pistols (automatics and revolvers of multiple calibers) and shotguns (pump-action and semi-auto). I wrestled in high school and fenced in college. By 23, after nearly 10 years of study in traditional dojos, I am certain my killing skills were at their peak and at least the equal of anyone having done combat sports. Fortunately, my teachers instilled in me a very strong moral compass and the responsibility to know that my training was only ever to protect myself or others in times of great danger, not for tournaments or sport.</p><p>In the 80s and 90s I enjoyed the study of Aikido very much, including Aikikai, Takeda Ryu Akijujutsu and finally Yoshinkan in the 2000s. As I have written before, I do not consider these to be combat arts per se, but their foundation improved my sword work and every other aspect of my martial arts to this present day.</p><p>I fully believe this training, since I was 14-years old, is the reason why I have been successful in my life and overcome every challenge I have faced. I was able to develop discipline, self-confidence, awareness, universal respect and self-control. I became part of a community and developed lifelong relationships which have supported me mentally and emotionally for decades. As an instructor, I have been able to pass this gift to hundreds of other people and try to help them find the courage to become the best versions of themselves. I haven't had to kill anyone yet, and I actually abhor violence. Because I am confident, I do not feel the need to escalate an encounter or fight due to fear. My martial arts is there if it is needed to defend myself or others, but I have gotten so many benefits apart from fighting that I can safely say it has been the best investment in myself I ever made. I am filled with gratitude and use every opportunity to pay it forward for others. </p><p>My point here is that martial arts is exactly that: Martial and Art. Each person must find the training that matches his/her goals - balancing the martial aspect and the art aspect to deliver the right outcome. As parents, we have to be sure that the instructors we trust are preparing our children to be good quality human beings rather than gladiators. This means learning focus and goal-setting, balance and coordination, respect (especially self-respect) and discipline, self-control and anger management. A good dojo promotes curiosity and discovery, as well as leadership and initiative. It means fostering a community of positivity and a support network which will help each student have a smoother transition into successful adulthood - becoming the person they truly want to be.</p><p><b><u>About Kali Majapahit</u></b></p><p>I began my Kali Majapahit journey in Singapore in 2008. I was fortunate to meet the founders, PG Fred Evrard and Guro Lila Evrard, and have been training with them ever since. Kali Majapahit was intriguing for many reasons. As the name implies, it is a blend of many sub-systems (including Hakka Kuntao, Silat, Kali Sikaran and Inayan Escrima) found throughout the Majapahit empire and is taught within the broader framework of Filipino martial arts. The art is comprehensive and includes all ranges and tools (empty hands, edged weapons, impact weapons, improvised weapons, locks and grappling). After 15 years, I am still learning new things all the time.</p><p>The pedagogy is anchored in positivity, seeking a balance between physical, mental/emotional and spiritual development. This ensures that students develop the correct moral and ethical framework as a part of the training. The techniques are taught through patterns, drills and templates, but students are very soon challenged to apply the concepts they are taught through discovery, rather than just mimicking what the instructors do. There is sparring (empty hands, training knife and foam stick), with an emphasis on safety and learning how to respond under pressure.</p><p>Kali Majapahit has allowed me to express my full and authentic self as a martial artist without ever limiting me. I draw from over 40 years experience (25 years before starting KM) which enriches what I can discover and share with my own students.</p><p>Most importantly, Kali Majapahit was designed to grow and evolve. As PG Fred Evrard has often said, "I wrote the first pages and chapters. It is up to all of you to write the rest". Inherent in this mandate is that we must question all we have been shown or taught. We must learn and research on our own, rather than just accepting what we are told at face value. There is no magic, voodoo or chicken blood. What works in KM works because of the good science behind it - physics/geometry, body mechanics, ergonomics, psychology, philosophy. </p><p>Traditional arts are beautiful and timeless because we can honor the lineage that has handed them down generation after generation. That said, many of them have become watered down and the deepest aspects of their teachings have been lost over time. The techniques have often been made "safer" for training to help avoid injury in class, adding breakfalls and other safeguards to the practice. Moreover, many of them have failed to adapt to the changing requirements of society and become inappropriate for modern times (most of us do not carry a katana during our daily commute). Some of this gives them romantic appeal (Bushido) but at the cost of relevance for modern self-defense. By contrast, the KM curriculum is under constant review, with updates generally happening more than once every year. There is a feedback loop to understand and improve the result of each topic, and many of us in the global KM community are conducting ongoing research to add to the body of knowledge we share.</p><p><b><u>In Conclusion</u></b></p><p>In conclusion, I am not explicitly saying Kali Majapahit is the answer to the author's criticisms of traditional martial arts, nor suggesting it is inherently better than other available combat sports. Taught well, almost any martial art can be effective for any combination of martial and art. However, I am saying that a good dojo will take the best of both traditional and modern elements in order to find an approach which offers the benefits of social structure and organizational hierarchy as well as the evolutionary feedback loop in order to give students of all ages and levels the most comprehensive training experience. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-85682737390192548542023-07-22T21:19:00.003+09:002023-07-22T21:19:47.277+09:00Choosing a Bokken<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF7WUFKycDcHXqAUROFDyntxkD2po51m-MbhNNBGi0mZsLjQE_K1LQ1s_cLLVMbtwUC0ND9BSUzJsLAgHDncgKbSRrPetAoNqCFXLZjwiEMoPFdIqN6pvBQLEBOlkZdzzBHrJucpZybiL74q_9IZrIN_VmU-XJnVb06PMlTn7MoUh_RSPuzbih/s1140/bokken.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1140" data-original-width="1140" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF7WUFKycDcHXqAUROFDyntxkD2po51m-MbhNNBGi0mZsLjQE_K1LQ1s_cLLVMbtwUC0ND9BSUzJsLAgHDncgKbSRrPetAoNqCFXLZjwiEMoPFdIqN6pvBQLEBOlkZdzzBHrJucpZybiL74q_9IZrIN_VmU-XJnVb06PMlTn7MoUh_RSPuzbih/w200-h200/bokken.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(thanks for the inspiration Matsu)</div><p></p><p>It is said that "a master reveals himself in every action." This means that when we observe a master, his/her actions are consistent in every aspect of life. Each daily activity is subject to reflection, observation, consideration and worthy of a constant focus. A true master observes himself/herself constantly, seeking to understand in order to improve. It is the constant scrutiny of an examined life that yields the deepest insight and meaning. The awareness of every moment is the cornerstone of mindfulness.</p><p>About 20 years ago, a close friend approached me for advice. She had enrolled in <a href="https://japanactionenterprise.com/">Japan Action Enterprise</a>, Shinichiro "Sonny" Chiba's legendary stunt training school, which produced dozens of stars for live action samurai dramas (called "Chanbara"), superhero shows and other events. As a former gymnast/dancer, she already had the physique and movement skills. She was excited to learn lots of new things, including the sword fighting skills. As a guy known for having trained Iaijutsu/Kenjutsu extensively, she asked me for help in choosing a bokken (wooden sword) for training. I obliged.</p><p>Together we went to Suidobashi in Tokyo, a place famous for martial arts gear shops, particularly kobudo and kendo gear. This was the best place to find a suitable bokken. There were many lengths/sizes to choose from. I explained about the types of wood used and the types of training typically done with each variant. In the end, she approached me with one, handed it over and said with a big smile "I like this one." It felt like a pair of chopsticks...thin, flimsy and very. very light. I asked "Why this one? It's so light?" She looked at me as if I was stupid. "I like this one just because it's very light!"</p><p>In that moment, I saw that she and I were very different. </p><p>I remembered my initial training in Japanese sword and choosing my first bokken during the summer of 1980 when I was just 14 years old. My teacher took me to the big martial arts supply store in downtown Chicago and made me choose, just as I had made her choose. I brought back a bokken that felt like a tree trunk and weighed like a telephone pole. It was far too heavy for me. My teacher smiled. I thought he might have been quietly proud of me. I chose that one specifically because it was solid and heavy, hoping that swinging it 10,000 times would make me strong. It did. Since then, I always choose the heaviest tool in the box.</p><p>As martial artists, it is wrong to seek shortcuts or easy ways out. In the end, we come to the dojo to practice, we join martial arts to train. The harder the training, the stronger the warrior. The more we cry in the dojo, the more we laugh on the battlefield.</p><p>Sometimes in class, I see students try to cheat the drills, not going deep enough or pushing hard enough. I see them holding back or keeping their strength in reserve. Sometimes they don't believe in the technique or in their own skills. As a teacher, I feel it is an important part of my job to get students to appreciate the intensity of the session and face their hardships with a smile. I hope the students will understand that the deeper they go the stronger they will become. I'll support them all the way.</p><p>It is the challenges that help us become the best versions of ourselves.</p><p>Choose the heaviest bokken. You'll be glad you did.</p><p><br /></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-24252921920904412002023-07-08T22:00:00.005+09:002023-07-09T21:04:29.160+09:00Kyosaku<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrON5OeT9NQ4ADSidBitnjTtcFqSUIBRltgFyUlzWpGouxkhJRh-R4U-2_HI1r2262CpRaHZn-5hIGBGQ8QQCTIpGe3IGyNsgeN6grUlAoCHyHfiG-KDmXJdeGScKK0st1JTuP3YYC9VTgi55oFruyqlK3kmRI-W8ZeYG2ZDl2YKb05-k2rGwb/s400/kyosaku-bamboo_slap.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="285" data-original-width="400" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrON5OeT9NQ4ADSidBitnjTtcFqSUIBRltgFyUlzWpGouxkhJRh-R4U-2_HI1r2262CpRaHZn-5hIGBGQ8QQCTIpGe3IGyNsgeN6grUlAoCHyHfiG-KDmXJdeGScKK0st1JTuP3YYC9VTgi55oFruyqlK3kmRI-W8ZeYG2ZDl2YKb05-k2rGwb/s320/kyosaku-bamboo_slap.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(thanks for the inspiration Guro David)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Much of Buddhism is misunderstood. Especially when it comes to Zen Buddhism and Esoteric Buddhism, casual observers tend to pick and choose their favorite tidbits and ignore the rest. Often, Buddhism gets reduced to pithy catchphrases in science fiction movies or spouted from white-bearded Chinese kung fu masters. The kyosaku is sometimes attributed to physical abuse of the initiates, as if the teacher is clubbing them with a baseball bat (or threatening to do so). The reality is very different.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Many of us come to Buddhism seeking peace and tranquility, hoping the seated practice will yield a sense of "centeredness". Very soon, we realize that seated practice in Zen is really hard work. Emptying the kind is difficult. Being patient is difficult. My original teacher in Zen Buddhism, at the Japan Cultural Center on Belmont Ave. in Chicago circa 1985, used to say that if properly done Zazen should leave you pouring with sweat. In the Zen world, peace is hard-earned indeed.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">While seated, the legs tire, the mind wanders, the posture slumps, fatigue sets in, we lose our connection to the NOW...focus becomes, well...unfocused. The kyosaku is an important tool in the training.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Usually, the kyosaku is employed by the teacher to help sharpen up the students' focus as they sit. When a student feels themselves waning and unable to recover, they bow forward as the teacher approaches. The teacher bows back, and sharply strikes the space between the shoulder and neck with a quick tap from the kyosaku. The sudden shock causes no injury whatsoever, but jolts the student back to focus. The students are asking for help to refocus. They want it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In Kali Majapahit, we do not employ the kyosaku nor anything resembling it. That said, sometimes students need a "reset" to refocus for the remainder of the current drill or next activity. Using our words properly, we can shock the students back to the present moment and present engagement. It is our job as teachers to help the students when they need it so they can remain high energy/high focus. Rather than spikes and dips, we try to keep the engagement and energy level at a consistently high level throughout by changing drills/partners/activities, giving feedback, challenging and gentling bringing each student out of their comfort zone. As Guro Fred often says, at the end of class we want them to be sweaty, smiling and satisfied.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Outside the dojo too, various distractions can occur that can keep us from staying focused on our goals and moving forward. There is a time for rest, of course, but not just because you are unable to stay on task. Each of us have (or should have, anyway) a thing we do to get our focus backup and remain engaged in the activity at hand. I stand up, stretch, and look out the window for a moment. In the worst case, I go take a cold shower to refresh myself. That always works for me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">What's YOUR kyosaku?? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><p></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-27496567860396754202023-06-17T11:08:00.002+09:002023-06-17T11:08:45.931+09:00The Peg<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVREQwp0-twKNlND6den9hZ2fgX9nfb-xH3YbHCbJhRTwh0rVPcb0R1iCRtCeW6UdsQi-aeFjbtIZEQ9cdRtOWdnqV4AQYf1bOjARCZHwkwerRNN-mEp6Jze2HYgG4L5ZxqWeVnxa0bLFQCA6ljznZ5dyyAAcLd7pQVWlkLdnFlZEoST4GIQ/s259/pachiko.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVREQwp0-twKNlND6den9hZ2fgX9nfb-xH3YbHCbJhRTwh0rVPcb0R1iCRtCeW6UdsQi-aeFjbtIZEQ9cdRtOWdnqV4AQYf1bOjARCZHwkwerRNN-mEp6Jze2HYgG4L5ZxqWeVnxa0bLFQCA6ljznZ5dyyAAcLd7pQVWlkLdnFlZEoST4GIQ/s1600/pachiko.jpeg" width="259" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(thanks for the inspiration SC)</div><p></p><p>Pachinko is one of the strange phenomena which many people associate with Japan. It's a gambling game where you launch a bucket of small steel balls one at a time into a vertical board where they bounce off an array of pegs on their way to the bottom. If they land in certain channels or holes, you score points and redeem more balls which can then later be exchanged for prizes or money. It's loud and has bright flashing lights and the shop has fast techno music blaring - a total sensory overload. Like slot machines, some people are addicted and play them often, some even daily.</p><p>While I am no fan of pachinko and no advocate of gambling either, pachinko makes an interesting metaphor for life as a martial arts teacher. Last night after class we were talking on the train ride home and I shared the history of KM Japan, now 12 years old and counting. During that time many students have come, stayed and gone. New students are joining all the time. We have a wonderful, supportive community of people who are positive, supportive and energetic. We're changing our lives, together.</p><p>What about those who left? Everyone has a story and a reason. Some left because of their jobs or families. Some left to pursue other dreams or do other martial arts. For the most part, students who have left are always welcome to return if/when the path brings them back to us.</p><p>I began to think of my role as that of a peg on a pachinko board. As you can see from the photo, the board is filled with many pegs or pins. When the ball strikes a peg, it will be deflected right or left as it continues its linear journey to its final destination. The peg may encounter the ball for just a split-second, but its trajectory has been altered. Of course, the ball would have traveled very differently had the peg not been there. On the way down, the ball will strike a variety of pegs and have its trajectory changed multiple times before it gets to the bottom. Math people will recognize it as a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0925772117300639">multiple-step binomial stochastic</a>. The fun (if you consider it fun) of pachinko is the seemingly random path the balls take. However, an expert will tell you the path is not entirely random and that striking certain key pegs helps to determine the odds of landing in a particular desired spot. Each peg has a role to play and is not responsible for anything other than the impact of the ball it must cause. The pegs cannot keep the ball, nor chase after it once it passes by. There is no worry if the ball doesn't strike a peg, since other balls will inevitably follow.</p><p>I do not own the journey of my students. They do. It's all I can hope to be a peg in their boards at the right time for them to be redirected by meeting me, hopefully to a better place in the future. I have bounced off of many pegs on my way here, and I am still in motion. Likewise, many steel balls have bounced off me in the past 12 years, and I hope many more will come to me before my time is over.</p><p>If I do my job well, I can be a catalyst for change. I can be the peg in the board that changes the direction of the ball toward something better. Combined with all the other influences, I can be a part, even a small part, of that ball reaching a desired destination and achieving success (the metaphorical prize at the bottom).</p><p>Like so many things in life, you can't win if you don't play.</p><p><br /></p><p>See you at class!</p><p> </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-42964630326941218402023-06-12T11:23:00.010+09:002023-06-12T15:11:10.054+09:00Save Me<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdRKleQQ_4GFN0jjQpYJxO-Ll9scNd9B0cWFqf_QSGOO2axNuAztUvPxJZ-F94titl97R0sunQuPUL0AAkA6F9REdQvE1xGis4ah2Memt7krE8qYvI04erAnPMh0fOHnfuYINdXHWMLuLh5aMJf404u75Ljlx4dlwu4MlFHRUAO1mAhdbRng/s225/save%20me.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdRKleQQ_4GFN0jjQpYJxO-Ll9scNd9B0cWFqf_QSGOO2axNuAztUvPxJZ-F94titl97R0sunQuPUL0AAkA6F9REdQvE1xGis4ah2Memt7krE8qYvI04erAnPMh0fOHnfuYINdXHWMLuLh5aMJf404u75Ljlx4dlwu4MlFHRUAO1mAhdbRng/s1600/save%20me.png" width="225" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(Thanks for the inspiration Dancing J)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Growing up, I knew I would never have the same kind of life as other kids. I was a foster kid from a group home, an ethnically Jewish kid ironically raised by foster parents who were German Lutherans (nee Schultz) and Irish/English Catholics (Leonard) in suburban Chicago. I had a bed, a roof, some clothes on my back and food on the table. It wasn't much but it beat the hell out of being in a group home. I heard from other fosters about the horrors that took place in group homes, and I was (and always will be) grateful to have been spared from it. I was so lucky to have the same foster family for nearly 18 years - the whole program.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My foster parents, Charles and Dorothy, were 40+ years older than me and not prepared to handle a kid born premature, blind in one eye, and with ADHD. Along the way I caused a lot of suffering for them, which I deeply regret, but they never gave up on me, my foster mom didn't, anyway.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">For much of my childhood, several times a week I was picked up off the playground in front of everyone and whisked away to Illinois Children's Home and Aid on Dearborn Street downtown to see my caseworker, just as if I had been abducted by aliens. I would be returned that night, looking the same but feeling "different" after having them poke around my head and trying to get me to articulate my "feelings" about having been abandoned into foster care at 1 year old. At school, the other kids treated me badly and I was bullied mercilessly/continuously for being different - for being a little, runny-nosed kid with a big mouth, thick glasses held together with masking tape. They said I was being taken to a secret lab and "experimented" on... not so far from the truth after all. None of my many faceless caseworkers or social workers did me much good. Mostly I just wanted to be left alone.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">At night I dreamed of being far, far away --- somewhere, ANYWHERE where I wouldn't have to endure the life I was given. I imagined my real parents swooping in to take me back to the better life I thought I deserved. I imagined them loving me and wanting me. I have never stopped imagining it, even to this day. There is nothing more cruel than allowing a child to feel unloved or unwanted.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">More than anything, I wanted someone to save me. I wanted to be saved from the heartbreak, the emptiness, the loneliness, the broken promises, the hopelessness. I wanted to be saved from the kids who bullied me. I wanted to be saved from my thoughts, which drifted toward suicide so often. I wanted to be saved from myself before I did something...permanent...in order to escape. No one ever came.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">At 14, I started working full-time (Teddy's Hot Dogs) while I kept going to school. I paid my own high school fees and bought my own textbooks. At 18, I completed foster care and Cook County freed me to be my own legal guardian. My foster parents moved across the country to Nevada and I stayed on my own in Chicago, renting a room at a friend's house.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After high school, with no money or prospects to go to college I worked full time, driving a forklift at a warehouse. I was 20 years old making $5.10 an hour but it was honest work. I'd look in the mirror and wonder if this was really all there was. Again, I was hoping someone would save me. I wanted to be saved from the boredom of an average life. I wanted someone to tell me how it was going to get better and when. I wanted a life plan. Again, no one came. The days passed.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After two hard years I had saved up enough money for a class at community college (College of DuPage). I was pretty sure I'd never get a degree or be able to afford to continue going but it was a start. I sat in the parking lot and cried with joy at Introduction to Psychology (April 1987) which for me was a symbol of my hopes and dreams for my future taking shape. Somehow, I kept scraping together enough money to go and take more classes. Since the classes I wanted/needed were during the day, eventually I had to give up the warehouse and get a night job. I learned to bartend by going to a three-month bartending course over the summer and started working nights and going to community college during the day. With good tips I was able to afford my little apartment, a running car and my classes. The bar had free employee meals which kept me in food and drink (whenever I was working).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Fast forward to today - at 56 I have lived and worked in Japan for well more than half of my life - since I was 24 years old - 32 years and counting. I finished college entirely self-funded and graduated with a 3.54 GPA and a dual BA degree in International Business and Japanese, while working full-time. I went on to get a Masters of Science in Finance degree from Baruch College, CUNY (also self-funded and also while working full-time). I have worked for the very best companies in the world including Canon, Lehman Brothers, JP Morgan, Thomson Reuters, Salesforce, Microsoft, ServiceNow and even worked on both sell-side and buy-side in capital markets. I got married, bought a house and raised a family. I continued my martial arts journey, ultimately becoming a teacher as well as a lifelong student. I have visited more than 50 countries (and counting) and mastered one of the most difficult foreign languages for westerners to learn (Japanese), ultimately becoming a translator/interpreter and editor as well.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">All the dreams I achieved in my life (and more) happened because I was saved (no, not by Jesus Christ). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I was saved by…myself.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After spending so many years waiting for someone else, I very painfully learned that no one was coming. My parents weren't coming to get me. Nobody was coming to show me the way. No job was looking for me to be a senior executive. The Emperor of Japan didn't send me an engraved invitation. The school didn't give me a full academic scholarship. No beautiful, rich heiress came knocking on my door to take me to live in the Caribbean. Nothing. Silence. Emptiness. Just...me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The day I realized this was probably the worst day of my whole life. The sadness and darkness consumed me. I have never felt more alone, never been more scared. The walls of my little room closed in on me until I was sure I would be crushed. I couldn't sleep and suffered from nearly constant panic attacks and crippling anxiety. I was paralyzed by fear. I didn't even know where to begin. I was sure I would fail.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Likewise, the day I realized this was probably the best and most important day of my whole life. Despite the fear, I was free. I no longer needed to wait for anything or anyone. I knew they weren't coming, so I simply got on with the business of living. I made my plans carefully, step by step, because I knew I had no backup, no plan B if I failed. I came to Japan in 1991 (4th attempt) and left everything behind. There was nothing to go back to if I didn't make it. I took risks, but always when I felt the odds were heavily in my favor. I couldn't afford to lose. Knocked down again and again, I always got up and kept going. I knew there would never be someone to pick me up. I would have to do it myself. Painful as it was, I always managed to keep moving forward, inch by inch. Say what you will about me, I think I am probably the world's most stubborn bastard and that has helped a lot.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am no saint, no angel. I am no superhero or demigod. I am no Bodhisattva. What I did anyone could do. Many have done far better. My only advantages were being unafraid to work hard, and recognizing early on that I would have to do it myself. This saved me a lot of time. Once I stopped waiting, the days became busier but those inches added up to a life I am grateful for and a set of experiences I treasure. In retrospect, a few things I would advise:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Do not depend on your family for an inheritance or a life of ease and luxury.</li><li>Do not depend on your teachers to give you all the answers.</li><li>Do not depend on your employer to give you skills or a career or imbue you with wealth.</li><li>Do not depend on the government to give you health or support in your old age.</li><li>Do not depend on society to look after you or defend your rights.</li><li>Do not depend on those around you for your success or support when things get really bad.</li><li>Do not depend on your partner for your self-worth or happiness.</li></ul></div><div style="text-align: left;">Look deeply into the mirror at your greatest ally, your BFF, your rock of strength. Look at the one who can take you where you want to go. Look and see your savior. Your champion. The one you've been waiting for. YOU.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">You got this.</div><p></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-16634769446693005682023-06-07T10:41:00.001+09:002023-06-07T10:41:14.674+09:00TWA<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-XYlciDClDs6IBpF8XJwXD60qM4qXQie5DH6zo-iCeGyK9BdNw8wgNWJO2pJhltuxcM52KX9Hsquv0W0gm1K4D1pEsc9NeSMOF4QpFTWJ-WEq8DW8ZbJIRQr0e8VtNlZMkIQn8HDiEgIN8CZIZM9bxEj_T4rN0lp0VMMoyKQqlnZ5BfVcwA/s898/TWA.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="314" data-original-width="898" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-XYlciDClDs6IBpF8XJwXD60qM4qXQie5DH6zo-iCeGyK9BdNw8wgNWJO2pJhltuxcM52KX9Hsquv0W0gm1K4D1pEsc9NeSMOF4QpFTWJ-WEq8DW8ZbJIRQr0e8VtNlZMkIQn8HDiEgIN8CZIZM9bxEj_T4rN0lp0VMMoyKQqlnZ5BfVcwA/s320/TWA.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>If you asked me to sum up the key objective of training in martial arts in a single word it would be: </p><p><b><span style="font-size: large;">ALIGNMENT</span></b></p><p>Alignment between ourselves and others. Alignment with our beliefs. Alignment in our lifestyle. Alignment is often called "balance" which many of us are seeking (and need desperately) in our lives. So does one achieve alignment?</p><p>Like most things, it starts with the self. We must align internally before we can align externally. In this case, the alignment I'm looking for I call TWA.</p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Thoughts</span></b></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Words</span></b></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Actions</span></b></p><p>TWA operates like a chain reaction of cause and effect: thoughts lead to words which cause actions. This works in both positive and negative directions. In a positive way, a change in mindset can lead to re-framing descriptors for our goals and then to specific sequences of daily actions needed to achieve them. On the opposite side, negative thoughts are often the first step toward loneliness and despair. These thoughts become negative words which may, in extreme cases, lead us to negative actions of self-harm or casing injury to others.</p><p>So, where to begin? With the thoughts.</p><p>Aligning the thoughts means to anchor ourselves firmly in a positive mindset. It means being committed to personal integrity and to focus on the good in things (ourselves and others) rather than seeking fault or blame. Alignment takes us out of the victim mindset and puts us in the victor mindset, reminding us of our possibilities rather than our limitations. Visualization can show us a better version of ourselves and help us understand who we want to become - a better version of ourselves. Imagining is the first step to becoming. If you can dream it you can do it. Daily meditations/affirmations are useful here. Good training in the dojo should help us develop a positive, challenging mindset and a good dojo should have a warm, healthy, happy energy among all the students and instructors.</p><p>Our thoughts give birth to our words. Since words bridge the gap between thoughts and actions, they can be considered the most important part of success. Making our thoughts into tangible, quantifiable ideas requires us to describe them, however the specific language we use to do so is of utmost importance. NLP, neurolinguistic programming is one of many sets of techniques designed to help us understand and improve ourselves through analysis and enhancement of the words we use. Using negative words about ourselves and others (written, spoken or otherwise) is emotionally harmful and limits our potential. As we are all too aware, words can be very damaging, to ourselves and others, and very hard to erase once they manifest. Even if sometimes negative thoughts emerge, good Zen practice helps us become able to let them go before they become specific words. In the dojo, it is good to deeply focus on using positive and empowering language to help enforce the supportive intentions of the dojo community. Negativity and guilt are tools of manipulation and do not belong in martial arts training.</p><p>Lastly, actions tie it all together. Without actions, all the well intended thoughts and words disappear without effect. In the end, we must execute on them and that takes courage. Standing up for ourselves and for others; lifting up ourselves and others is the central and highest mission of the martial arts. We should strive to be the positive and empowering spirit, voice and hands of others when they need us. When we embody the true spirit of martial arts, our positive energy brightens everywhere we are. Our encouraging words uplift those around us and provide comfort in the face of hardship. Our actions allow others to feel safe around us and position us as change makers. Constant, diligent training develops assertiveness, not just for ourselves but for others (once we become instructors). Our black belts, once worn, are with us every moment of every day, and that responsibility should motivate us to push as hard as we can for our alignment.</p><p>It is said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The thoughts and words can get you to the starting line, but in the end it is the step that will get you going on the way to your goals. Discipline and repetition require courage to let go of the old, negative habits and replace them with newer, healthier positive ones. Change needs bravery.</p><p>I think that in some way my entire life has been connected to trying to align my TWA. I'm still working on it, but I believe I am more consistent than before. Day by day, with focus and awareness, I try to improve on this point until the day when I am always aligned. No matter how long it takes, for me this is the most important achievement.</p><p>See you at class. </p><p><br /></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-15899941178146947182023-06-04T11:03:00.000+09:002023-06-04T11:03:07.821+09:00Me Becoming Me<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9iY3GH8kGJZh8U3i4QtE0zQfjPtFIs2IlNFw9L5_jgFSXSX-RKkX6sA-o8EVtWNAoguaAXSUW51pSX2JWaF2peg_leAwYbeHQIIzulZWleZ66Vpjub9zQwk43K-7C4FNl3atPzdmdPEWGqXaPOqfGk0cO_nubZp6B7ey7l6hxpwEyBCL85Q/s276/cocoon.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="276" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9iY3GH8kGJZh8U3i4QtE0zQfjPtFIs2IlNFw9L5_jgFSXSX-RKkX6sA-o8EVtWNAoguaAXSUW51pSX2JWaF2peg_leAwYbeHQIIzulZWleZ66Vpjub9zQwk43K-7C4FNl3atPzdmdPEWGqXaPOqfGk0cO_nubZp6B7ey7l6hxpwEyBCL85Q/s1600/cocoon.jpeg" width="276" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>In Philosophy, it can be said that the most important question we can ask is "Who am I?" This question makes implicit that human beings are (we think) unique in our ability to be self-aware; that is, to recognize that we exist in a greater environment than just one of our own immediacy, the current moment and current surroundings. We can understand our past and plan for our future. With training, we can even begin to realize that we are more than our superficial flesh and bone selves. As Pierre Teilhard de Chardin elegantly stated, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience." Who we are is such an important question, that it deserves to be asked again and again throughout our lives, since who we are is not static. We change, and this question is critical for understanding, and hopefully guiding those changes to be positive experiences for us. It is an important question to repeat, since we are not always truthful with ourselves, and iterations of this question often yield different results that can help get to the real truth where our thoughts, words and deeds are consistent.</p><p>Armed with our self-realization, Man has enthusiastically continued to search for meaning, attempting to explain not just our physical world, but cosmic and spiritual ones as well. We long to understand the WHY of our existence, and this longing makes us tragically beautiful. Far too often, we ascribe meaning to imaginary forces outside ourselves, and concoct elaborate fantasies about our own existence, unable to accept the truth of our infinite smallness. With training, we accept the impermanence of everything, including ourselves, and can appreciate the fleeting incarnation we have. In Buddhism, much emphasis is placed on being in the here-and-now as often as possible, and on letting go of all distraction from it. Ironically, it takes decades of diligent practice to return to our natural state of freedom, a state which other animals freely enjoy. Ignorance may indeed be bliss, but it is not our destiny. We are far too curious to remain ignorant. </p><p>During meditation, we are taught to visualize in order to train the mind to increase its potential. This focus helps us reach deeper inside ourselves and unleash the power of our creativity. The more we practice, the more we become able to let go of outside distraction and utilize the mind's unique power to see beyond our other everyday senses. The focus and discipline of martial arts training makes a great companion to meditation. It can be said that they are brother and sister.</p><p>Martial arts is about so much more than punching or kicking; so much more than swinging a stick or a sword. Those are important, too, but really are means to an end. Martial Arts is a journey of discovery - about ourselves and others - from which we can unlock the door to deeper understanding, appreciation and gratitude throughout our lives.</p><p>Martial Arts is a continuum which ranges from systems that are very "martial" to those that are very "arts". There are so many systems/schools/instructors to choose from that we can search and (hopefully) find one best suited to our own preferred physical, mental and spiritual expression. A good blend should help us to discover the best version of ourselves we really want to become. At least a better version of ourselves than who we are right now.</p><p>In a modern world so filled with distractions, a world which constantly bombards us with messages about who retailers want us to be (so we can consume more of their products) in a never-ending cycle of not being good enough, it is very important to invest in the tools to help minimize these distractions. Good training, meditation and visualization can help us imagine better and better versions of ourselves which bring us closer and closer to the success we seek. These improved versions cannot be accurately characterized or quantified by anyone else. Only we, ourselves, can put a definition on our success, and identify the concrete steps and actions needed to get us there day by day.</p><p>Good training can help us develop the discipline, focus and courage to put in the real work needed to achieve our personal definition of success. There are no shortcuts.</p><p>In the end, becoming ourselves, the best, most authentic, most successful version of ourselves; completely, unashamedly, 24/7 ourselves, is all there really is. The rest is just background noise, isn't it? </p><p><br /></p><p> </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-20276685916362927942023-05-24T09:18:00.003+09:002023-05-24T16:43:06.846+09:00Science or Religion?<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjXtLUin9ffhR0Jtsw_GzYEhvRkWDUOXxb5SqXnpgsIljrKSBVVnl9A3xxslNNuhnjz5luqicYQbzAeXECZli9W0V3CHo1068yBecgSGwyv4BzB84FUTFb7Sx2ZOvEBWbi7VKgKMsRS4nrj5s2dTTiAF1rDBnCmiymjsGTQ6WI3TqNlCsK6A/s275/science.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjXtLUin9ffhR0Jtsw_GzYEhvRkWDUOXxb5SqXnpgsIljrKSBVVnl9A3xxslNNuhnjz5luqicYQbzAeXECZli9W0V3CHo1068yBecgSGwyv4BzB84FUTFb7Sx2ZOvEBWbi7VKgKMsRS4nrj5s2dTTiAF1rDBnCmiymjsGTQ6WI3TqNlCsK6A/s1600/science.jpeg" width="275" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(thanks for the inspiration MC and Anthony)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It's always a great joy to meet other members of the martial arts community, especially when they are also very passionate about creating good dojo atmospheres and promoting learning and development for students. I was grateful to make a new friend yesterday before class, who was very excited talking about how to motivate students and deliver better results for them. The conversation flowed smoothly and naturally. It was wonderful. I can't wait to discuss further.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We spoke about evolution and adaptation from traditional styles, and the need to have the arts evolve while retaining the traditional elements that yield so much character development and discipline - vital elements for success in life.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I told the story of my Aikido journey starting in 1987 and continuing on into its current expression as part of my Kali Majapahit, relating it to O-Sensei's own evolution. O-Sensei also came from a very traditional martial arts background, after which he was sent to Manchuria for several years to fight in the Imperial Army. No doubt during that time he used his skills in combat to save his life and those of others. Later in life he became an ordained Omotekyo priest and eschewed the violence of the physical world for a more spiritual path. Modern Aikido (since 1945) has been focused on "harmony" and spreading happiness rather than simply self-defense or success in fighting.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In the case of O-Sensei, he is nearly revered as a God by Aikidoka. Most dojos have a black and white photo of him in the kamiza (the place of highest honor), to which they bow before and after class. Despite so many variations of aikido which exist today, propagated by his various "disciples", each branch seems to think they are "the authentic one" truly expressing aikido the way O-Sensei intended. Many of them disagree openly with each other and consider the others to be frauds.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is no less the case in many karate dojos, Taekwondo dojangs and even FMA schools. Many of them revere their grandmasters, giving them uncountable black belt stripes or bestowing regal titles on them, similar to what fanatics do for their own messianic figures. These styles are akin to cults where their master can do no wrong, and each word is treated like a pearl of irrefutable wisdom. Believers are "excommunicated" for even suggesting that the system could adapt, evolve or be improved. Rather, they revel in their "traditions" just like Catholic masses given in Latin which none of the worshipers can understand. Practical or not, their arts are repeated and mimicked the way they have been for centuries and considered "pure" despite often lacking any real world applicability any more. There is nothing inherently wrong with this approach, unless we promote the idea that these styles are somehow still useful for fighting (a fact easily disproven in quasi-fighting scenarios such as MMA bouts). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">There is often a lingering fear that if these arts were considered to be impractical for self-defense they would be without merit and disappear. Much in the way Christians fear that their religion would disappear if Jesus were proven to not have been real. In my opinion, the benefit of religion is not about whether the supposedly historical figures actually existed. It is much more to do with how the belief systems allow you to grow as a confident, compassionate human being and navigate modern life's challenges successfully. I think this would be possible even if the Christian god(s) were proven to be completely fictional. As well, very traditional martial arts can and should have appeal even if they are not totally relevant for self-defense in how they are currently presented. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">To me, the treatment of martial arts as quasi-religions is inherently wrong. Despite the fact that often we do discuss esoteric matters, especially in the context of each individual's spiritual growth, good martial arts practice empowers the practitioner for positive change rather than investing their power elsewhere. Unlike religion, an emphasis should be placed on positive reinforcement and challenging limitations to achieve personal goals (CAN DO) versus restricting them via negativity and guilt (CAN'T DO).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Many modern martial arts are far more scientific in their approach. There are emphases placed on good fundamental science (physics, nutrition, bio-mechanics) and rigorous analysis. Several excellent books and papers already exist written by scientists doing martial arts who have applied their training to this domain successfully.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Rather than be prisoners of a doctrine, these systems seek a Darwinian model of evolution and expand the scope and usefulness of their arts continuously. Generation after generation of instructors expand and develop the art in new and exciting ways through good research and experimentation.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">One of the best examples of this can be found in Sigung Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do. Of course, Sigung Bruce also had a traditional background in Wing Chun, a notable Hakka style. Becoming aware of the limits of what he had learned from his teacher Yip Man, Sigung Bruce set out to expand and improve on his training by examining a wide variety of other Asian and Western fighting systems including not just karate and other styles of kung fu, but also western boxing, wrestling, fencing, savate and more. He became very experienced in physical training and nutrition as well and developed phenomenal physical abilities. His goal was to create a limitless system of growth and learning to improve the individual to his/her maximum potential. One of the core tenets of JKD is "absorb what is useful". This allows the practitioner to customize his or her expression of martial arts based on body type, physical limitations (if any) and philosophy. The result is that professionals in JKD's concepts-based system will have a lot in common due to their shared principles, while simultaneously expressing the concepts uniquely in how they are applied.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I think tradition has its place and is very important for understanding the cultural context of how martial arts came to be in their current form when we encounter them. The traditions give us a sense of belonging and are an important way of showing respect to the lineage and those who paved the way for us. There is nothing wrong with honoring our instructors and being grateful for their knowledge, wisdom and dedication in teaching us, provided we remember they are human beings, not demigods. They can be respected without being worshiped.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">At the same time, I prefer a scientific approach. This allows the depth of observation, study and analysis that leads to much deeper understanding. Fundamentals are developed so that we can explore further and research deeper into the system. Like science, all disciplines have much in common (mathematics, for example) and share knowledge between them. Of course rivalries do exist, but I have yet to hear of genocide between geologists and physicists, for example. It has even been suggested that advancement to higher black belt ranks be accompanied by independent research and peer-reviewed, in order to ensure that all seniors contribute to the growth of the system. This is the same in scientific disciplines, where subsequent higher level degrees require deep research in some original topic as part of a dissertation.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In the end, martial arts should be of maximum benefit to the growth and success of the individual, encouraged by dedicated, knowledgeable instructors who encourage their students to develop their self-confidence and explore, discover and evolve into the best, most authentic versions of themselves.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">See you at class.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><p></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-17931379123861362112023-05-20T11:09:00.001+09:002023-05-20T11:09:36.398+09:00Stormy Weather<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjocu186G1kKBa1qfiLgCq0ePO8tM0dG4L8PkSAjKwnMQnT9e10z0-f2i53QK6vChiq4v8gO-vHrMl8Vgoa4dPuWW0ukHYFSbw5xa3uoE-TBpVcxCzGMJO_qWiIOWnNLbGIaAtxRsovvPXrGUG72MUfpUaOzOoZJx7NiD8x6SR0TMA7s1GUw/s494/lt%20dan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="247" data-original-width="494" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjocu186G1kKBa1qfiLgCq0ePO8tM0dG4L8PkSAjKwnMQnT9e10z0-f2i53QK6vChiq4v8gO-vHrMl8Vgoa4dPuWW0ukHYFSbw5xa3uoE-TBpVcxCzGMJO_qWiIOWnNLbGIaAtxRsovvPXrGUG72MUfpUaOzOoZJx7NiD8x6SR0TMA7s1GUw/s320/lt%20dan.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(Lieutenant Dan has a showdown with God in "Forest Gump") </div><p></p><p><br /></p><p>Friday night at 7pm. Outside the cold rain fell. Hard. The dojo mats were cold on our feet, too. All of the students and instructors were lined up, ready to bow in for class. The students looked a bit uneasy, unsure of what they would do for the next two hours. The instructors were calm and confident. They knew from experience. It was a great, high-intensity class and everyone remained focused and engaged throughout. Later when we bowed out at 9pm, our shirts were sweaty, and we were all smiling. It was done. Until next time.</p><p>Truth is, I love a good storm. Rain, snow, strong winds. I love it. Not for the damage or disruption it can cause. I love it because it represents a great opportunity to show up for yourself.</p><p>Many days are challenging. With the modern rush of work, school, family, friends, commitments... we are always on the go, always ON. Most of us wake up early (too early) and go to bed late (way too late!). The hours in-between are often a blur. It can be hard to find time for anything else or anything more.</p><p>Especially during bad weather, it just seems like Nature's way of telling us to stay at home, on the couch, and watch Netflix or something. Grab a cup of tea and a good book. Take a long, hot bath. Catch up on sleep. On a Friday night it's very tempting to pop down to the pub for a few drinks with some friends or co-workers, or enjoy a well-earned meal after a tough week at work (they're all tough somehow, aren't they?)</p><p>None of these things are bad of course. I enjoy them, too. However, in the grand scheme of things, none of them ever make me feel as good as I feel when I show up for myself and invest in making myself better. Rest and sleep (and a good book) are also very important, but to me they are always secondary to keeping the promise to myself and to my students to be at class.</p><p>Heavy rains offer a lot of temptation to just give up/go home, but for me it has the opposite effect. Maybe it's just my damn stubbornness but times like that make me want to train harder, as if to prove my own commitment to myself. It's my personal showdown with Mother Nature and I like to win.</p><p>I was very glad to see so many of you in class last night. I commend you for making your investment in yourselves a top priority and for continuing to establish the routines and habits that will lead you to success no matter the weather or other obstacles that Life may put in your way.</p><p>Perseverance is the most important ingredient for success, and it can only be developed through repetition.</p><p>See you Tuesday. </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-60470154262072828862023-05-10T09:12:00.003+09:002023-05-11T13:10:12.857+09:00Chop Wood, Carry Water<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio39FfGNb9-LymSWZDfcfr5R1DBVjcGA457KX8cYeJVzIeWHf2wY9yRpR0HgZqakiENV5Wdq_98LQtrN2hCgXvcplLJjjc-bKo02godAg3xXtpG8H7CQrrwXq8Bcjakk_7CSpX_iNuEUPp6mQHbGeYBCDlVwz9C5-rxY0wo5andRsDs58G3g/s750/image_6487327.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="410" data-original-width="750" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio39FfGNb9-LymSWZDfcfr5R1DBVjcGA457KX8cYeJVzIeWHf2wY9yRpR0HgZqakiENV5Wdq_98LQtrN2hCgXvcplLJjjc-bKo02godAg3xXtpG8H7CQrrwXq8Bcjakk_7CSpX_iNuEUPp6mQHbGeYBCDlVwz9C5-rxY0wo5andRsDs58G3g/s320/image_6487327.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>The Path calls to us for many different reasons. Many of us feel somehow disillusioned or dissatisfied with our lives in some way. The material world we live in pushes us to borrow money to buy things we don't need in order to impress people we don't know. As we realize this, we start to look for something...more. Many of us feel trapped in a world of the mundane, unable to reach the imagined happiness of social media icons and unable to escape the reality of our own daily lives. Many religions exist for the purpose of establishing control. They seek to pacify us and make us conform to an outdated set of beliefs (often manipulating us through guilt) and tell us to sublimate the self and sacrifice the Now in the hopes of some greater reward in the afterlife. These days, such empty promises seem to do little to assuage our anxiety.</p><p>I loved the above quote because it really speaks to the essence of the Path as I see it. Rather than seeking an escape from the everyday life to something (we hope would be) better, the Path helps us examine our lives in much greater detail - ultimately helping us discover real meaning and purpose in what we do every day. As a result, we come to appreciate what we have, rather than endlessly wish for what we don't. Our ambition becomes less about acquiring more "things" and instead about truly understanding the parts of our daily lives that make us happy and fulfilled, and seeking to maximize them. We learn to find more joy in the relationships around us (or exchange those relationships for more positive ones). We discover how to go about our day with appreciation for the little things rather than just wishing they would go away and be replaced by fame and fortune.</p><p>Enlightenment includes the understanding that all we ever really do is exchange one set of problems for another, and that's OK. We are hardwired to solve problems. It's in our DNA. We struggle and suffer when the problems have no acceptable solutions, or when the quality of the problems is too low for our capabilities. The better we live, the better quality problems we get to solve. The more involved we are in our own lives, the less we feel a desperate need to escape from them.</p><p>There is not some great and magical transformation waiting to occur when the light switch of enlightenment is flicked. If this is the expectation, it is guaranteed to be a disappointment. Rather, like a growing tree or a child progressing to adulthood, over time our understanding becomes bigger and our capabilities reach new levels. Day by day this can be very hard to see, but over time the changing from caterpillar to butterfly must naturally occur and in the end, through our own transformation of enlightenment, we emerge from our cocoons ready to fly.</p><p>In the end, we chop wood and carry water (mostly metaphorically) all throughout our lives. What matters most is our understanding of this process and its purpose - what we learn from it and how we grow from it. We are and will be with ourselves from birth until death, constantly a part of everything we do and say. Our life, this time, is here and now, and we must take responsibility for it rather than wish for the life of another.</p><p>True spirituality is not anchored in guilt. It empowers us to be fully aware of who and how we are at all times, and to act with purpose and mindfulness as we go through every day - chopping wood, carrying water or working in an office or whatever we do to provide for ourselves and our loved ones.</p><p>Perhaps I'm not saying anything new here - at least nothing the Buddhist masters have not been trying to tell us for millennia. I think it is very important to make your personal spiritual practice useful to you in improving your ability to live your life, this life, right now, every day, as much as possible. I hope we do not give in to the temptation of wishing for anything else. Maximize who and how you are in this life. Be the best YOU you can be and be unapologetic for growing to become more you.</p><p>Enjoy the Journey. </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-89614494089121431222023-04-13T23:02:00.006+09:002023-04-17T21:29:02.354+09:00Getting Through This Thing, Whatever It Is<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTi1Z9rtMI3mEgi69qaMHF6JQMaOwXb7jAVLGJkpvIqPc_D2jtglnc9vT0rJmHrYbZPPtE5Thno-SAcdRqEFwxluCFwRuP5_xan9w7eEeH0_xtOKzM1QNHtcFgAESluvAlCIao5OVgQ_kW6wGUbSYvuoWogKY2WVWDRZzxgEMaz4dx1wf5JA/s750/image_6487327.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="157" data-original-width="750" height="67" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTi1Z9rtMI3mEgi69qaMHF6JQMaOwXb7jAVLGJkpvIqPc_D2jtglnc9vT0rJmHrYbZPPtE5Thno-SAcdRqEFwxluCFwRuP5_xan9w7eEeH0_xtOKzM1QNHtcFgAESluvAlCIao5OVgQ_kW6wGUbSYvuoWogKY2WVWDRZzxgEMaz4dx1wf5JA/s320/image_6487327.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> (thanks for the inspiration Paul & George)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Kurt Vonnegut was one of the century's great writers. Famous for his NYT bestseller, "Slaughterhouse Five", Kurt was, among many other things, a humanist. His time in service in WW2, especially in a German prison camp, gave him a unique, dark sense of satire but he loved writing and ultimately, people.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The above quote was sent to me on a birthday years ago by a very dear friend with the tagline, "Thanks for making the journey through this thing better". I was brought to tears and never forgot his touching gesture.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Lately, this quote is on my mind a lot, and came up during conversation where I tried to unpack it a bit more. Like much of Kurt's writing, there's a lot in there.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><u>The Importance of "We"</u></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">He starts with a bang. "We" implies togetherness, not isolation. Humans are inherently social creatures, never meant to be alone for any significant period of time. By contrast, solitary confinement is considered one of the most cruel and inhumane punishments we can do to each other. "We" is a critical thought path of inclusion and a great place to start any ideation. Even in the modern workplace, diversity, equality and inclusion (DEI) are at the forefront of good management's consideration.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Where is "Here"?</u></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">If you don't know where you are, how can you figure out where you're going? Kurt's expression "We are here..." is about trying to discover our purpose in being, perhaps the most quintessential aspect of our humanness. Of all the creatures of the world, we are endowed with awareness of self, which is our greatest gift as much as it is often the source of our greatest insecurity. By understanding our true purpose we are empowered to achieve a greater outcome by sublimating ourselves to this higher power, but all too often we fail to do more than act in our own selfish interests. The fact is, like it or not, understand it or not, WE ARE HERE.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Help</u></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">I think it is fundamental to recognize that our purpose as human beings is to help each other. Our modern world bombards us with messaging suggesting that our self-worth and success are ultimately measured by our personal wealth and fame, like points in a perverse, selfish video game. The Truth is that we are here to help each other. All of us need help, often, and as such all of us must be committed to helping each other. In the end, what will matter is not the size of our houses or cars or bank accounts but the size of our hearts. I wish more emphasis were placed on this in our education. Sadly, even most religious education seeks to create a framework of guilt/control rather than of compassion and empowerment. With each passing year, I feel the world torn further apart and recommit myself to trying my best to bring it even a little closer together. Kurt was right</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Getting Through This Thing</u></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Our principal mission is to get through this thing. Day in, day out, we act often in seemingly mindless ways, searching for meaning and an overarching understanding of what this "thing" is. Kurt is right in pointing out that despite millennia of collective study and reflection, our understanding of what this "thing" is is superficial at best. At least we can say, by process of elimination, some things which this "thing" is not. It is not about simply collecting material possessions/wealth at the expense of each other. It is not the wanton destruction of our environment (and each other) in a quest for MORE. What we seek is not to be found solely in hedonistic pleasures, since we find that in the end these simply do not provide the long-term fulfillment which is at the heart of what we want this "thing" to be. Is this "thing" a Matrix-like simulation? Is it an illusion? Is it some kind of bizarre divine test of our worthiness? An alien experiment? If so, how could we say we have been successful as a species? Is there an answer that can fill the existential emptiness at the core of being a human in these modern times? Over generations have we somehow evolved away from our inherent divinity? We humans seem to be at once capable of showing the extremes of selfless inspiration and hopeless despair. Many of our heroes vacillate between both.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Fortunately, we do not need to know what this "thing" is to recognize we are in it, whatever it is, and must get through it, hopefully helping each other along the way.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">To me, that means to actively seek out the companionship of others and try to help them so we can all get through this thing, whatever it is - together.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe that's enough. I hope it is.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">What do you think??</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-66677291157929119952022-12-26T14:22:00.010+09:002022-12-26T14:29:22.768+09:00On Happiness<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbeDhveEfTwyLyTN0gig2VVQy3p5xYIc9ZY8xFE2TMTqVTGLm0v3BAD4Rz0yvIxP5cQeonnMJmMMr6GnMKTfHLMrFz0RNX6pGuLoCEX3eK0wy8Df9k2_Ubxw4Rev9aOL_QcHrW5POaGVUF7ZoylzLeVrh-x0ZzyjDx8UBbAqGu4FIt0oKuOQ/s862/profile%20pic.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="862" data-original-width="750" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbeDhveEfTwyLyTN0gig2VVQy3p5xYIc9ZY8xFE2TMTqVTGLm0v3BAD4Rz0yvIxP5cQeonnMJmMMr6GnMKTfHLMrFz0RNX6pGuLoCEX3eK0wy8Df9k2_Ubxw4Rev9aOL_QcHrW5POaGVUF7ZoylzLeVrh-x0ZzyjDx8UBbAqGu4FIt0oKuOQ/w174-h200/profile%20pic.jpg" width="174" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>This is me. A photo taken in December 2022 at an outdoor cafe. Yes, I look happy. Because I am. Relaxed and in the company of friends, it was a very enjoyable lunch and conversation. It feels very different from where I was a year ago.</p><p>In Dec 2021 I was not happy. I was recovering from type 2 diabetes which was diagnosed in May 2021, and had been on months of medication, side effects of which were poor sleep and headaches. I had to endure those because I needed to continue to reduce my blood sugar. I was also under extreme stress at work. I was unable to help my stressed out team because I could not even help myself. Every day I felt like I was drowning, and there was no help to be found anywhere. The situation was relentless. I was working 70 - 80 hour weeks for months including nights and weekends and it still wasn't enough. Every Sunday I would lie awake with anxiety at what new crises would happen the next day and I felt completely hopeless.</p><p>So, what happened?</p><p>By January of this year I became determined to change jobs. The internal transfer was not handled well, and that convinced me that I needed to change companies as well. I enjoyed my time in cloud technology but it turned out to be every bit as volatile as investment banking, and for many of the same reasons. I worried that at my age (55) despite my experience and skills I would struggle to find a good (enough) job, as I had in 2010 after I left JP Morgan. </p><p>Fortunately, I was quickly able to find a great role in a buy-side asset management company's international sales department, leading a young and diverse team of developers, designers and UI specialists. My background in finance (albeit sell-side) and technology has been useful, as has my fluency in Japanese. I am doing good work and my work is being highly appreciated across the firm.</p><p>I learned a few very important lessons.</p><p><b>1) Sometimes what didn't really work out for you really worked out for you. Read that again.</b></p><p>Leaving the comfort and safety of Thomson Reuters (now part of LSEG) for "The Cloud" in 2016 was a very difficult choice to make. My current employer will make my 4th job in 6 years. Changing jobs is extremely painful and emotionally draining, and learning cloud solutions in my late 40s did not come easily. I had to invest a huge amount of time and energy on topics that others probably intuitively understood. However, if I had not gone through those tough times I might not have developed the important skills and understanding I need now to create the right solutions for my current employer. I met so many fantastic people and (hopefully) will keep and deepen my relationships in the future by being a good customer. If I had it to do over again, I would have had to choose the same course of events. As stressful as it was, it brought me to where I am now.</p><p><b>2) Prioritize Your Mental Health and Balance above all else</b></p><p>We often talk about the need for balance. This can be described as work/life balance but also as the "Holy Trinity" of mental/physical/emotional well-being that is the key to longevity. In my case, the high stress and anxiety led me to emotional and mental instability which ultimately contributed to my health issues. My poor health had knock-on negative effects on my mental and emotional health in a downward spiral that ended up out of control. In retrospect, I think emotional health was the most important factor to get right first. My happiness would have minimized my physical impact. Even working hard, if I had not been so stressed out/feeling hopeless constantly I think I would still have slept well, eaten better and found time to get more exercise. Many people can maintain a positive outlook even when they are not feeling 100%, but I think feeling despair will naturally disrupt mental and physical elements as well. No job, no career is worth jeopardizing any of the three factors and I am grateful I found another option before my conditions got worse. I felt that as a survivor of so many hardships, and a martial arts instructor as well, I would be largely immune from the effects of stress and anxiety on my mental/physical/emotional health. I was very painfully proven wrong.</p><p><b>3) There is ALWAYS something you can do</b> - but you need courage (and to let go of your ego)</p><p> As my situation deteriorated, I felt more and more helpless. I worked harder and harder, longer and longer, believing that I could work my way out of the negative spiral I was caught inside. I believed that if I got myself into a situation, any situation, I could get myself out. I told myself to "Man Up" and convinced myself I would do whatever I had to do to provide for my family, even die if necessary. I would have preferred to die than to fail, or so I thought. My family staged an intervention. It happened when my wife brought me dinner to my little room one night and told me that whenever she knocked on the door she worried that she would find me collapsed dead at my desk. She was very serious.</p><p>As a family, we spoke about it and they reassured me that this was not the way. I shouldn't risk my life for my job, any job, and that whatever changes I needed to make they would support me 100%. I made up my mind to get better. That would mean making changes. Major changes. It would also mean facing my fear of failure and letting go of my ego - stop trying to fight a battle I knew in my heart I could not win. I had to also stop worrying about what others would think of my many frequent changes - whether or not my bosses, my co-workers, my team or anyone else would judge me for throwing in the towel and quitting.</p><p>I had to believe that in the end, those who were meant to be my friends, those who really cared about me, would understand why I needed to do what I did. That is exactly what happened.</p><p>Far too many people fail to find alternatives to bad situations, or feel too trapped to make other, better choices. They worry too much about being judged or are too afraid of change. Far too many people fail to get the support they need or the mental health care they deserve. The truth is - it's never too late to make a positive change and a wait-and-see approach generally only makes matters worse. </p><p><b>4) FUCK COVID</b></p><p>Yes, I said it. We've all been thinking it. This horrible disease has taken so much from so many, devastated families and workplaces, and even fundamentally changed the nature of work forever (hopefully for the better). I cannot and will not blame COVID for everything, but in my case it made a bad situation worse and added so much additional stress to an already challenging and difficult situation. During COVID, we were prevented from seeing each other, prevented from seeing customers or friends and this led to terrible feelings of workplace loneliness and isolation. Every day was a poor carbon copy of the day before - 10 or 12 hours of back-to-back Zoom calls and desperately trying to get a bathroom break in-between. No time for "actual" work and no way to build the all-important relationships that make work worthwhile at all. Everyone tried to make up for it with ergonomic chairs and virtual happy hours but they were all poor substitutes for actual face-to-face human interaction. I was miserable and COVID was a big part of that. No, the time of COVID is not quite over, but the world is finally moving on. One day all of this will be nothing more than a bad memory as we all mourn what we have lost and the high price that has been paid by everyone worldwide.</p><p><b>Closing</b></p><p>Happiness is not automatic or guaranteed. Part of knowing what it is comes from experiencing what it is not. 2022 has had its fair share of challenges, but I am very grateful to end the year in a far better place than where I started it.</p><p>I wish all of you a safe closing of the books on 2022 and all the very best in 2023. </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-61326897600154632172022-12-18T13:29:00.003+09:002022-12-18T15:02:42.926+09:00Navigating Things<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEGZR1igqizU4X6IuP8f00MI6Ym8HKuzyxIqXbBjqzACnFuX1LTSnfhSeDwAxRJBjbxHW10ihXdwk6qso69CemFuhN-zvgTEB2Ikri9Dp24Ep2vTGknIOQeQoJRQtNxghD07sz8Rn2BJYyH4tQvuR8XRKYOgaPbIaNCPCMPPL3ZZnQnChGmQ/s280/navi.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="280" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEGZR1igqizU4X6IuP8f00MI6Ym8HKuzyxIqXbBjqzACnFuX1LTSnfhSeDwAxRJBjbxHW10ihXdwk6qso69CemFuhN-zvgTEB2Ikri9Dp24Ep2vTGknIOQeQoJRQtNxghD07sz8Rn2BJYyH4tQvuR8XRKYOgaPbIaNCPCMPPL3ZZnQnChGmQ/w400-h257/navi.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(thanks for the inspiration SC)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We are often conditioned to think of our lives as being on a kind of "auto pilot". We enter the details of our destination - education, hard work, dedication, perseverance, luck, money - and the Life Autopilot delivers us straight to --- SUCCESS. In many families, especially Asian families, the auto pilot includes enormous pressure to have perfect grades, play musical instruments and sports, excel at after school enrichment activities and if we do so, the autopilot will take us to success as a(nother) lawyer or doctor - ironically, even if this is not where we ourselves wanted to go.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We think we depend on a few critical "all-or-nothing" moments where our lives are defined. Those moments where we truly rise up and make the decisions and take the actions that will yield the fame and fortune we desire. Sadly, when we do not win those moments, we may feel that those doors to success are closed forever by our failure, and those potential futures lost to us. This way of thinking can cause us undue stress and anxiety and in some extreme cases may suggest to us that all is lost and we will never achieve our life goals - leading us to despair, depression and maybe even to self-harm.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In fact, Car Navigation systems may be a better metaphor than Autopilots.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Car Navigation systems are wonderful things. They allow us to input a destination and then provide directions to it, even allowing for various conditions to be set (don't use toll-roads, avoid traffic jams, etc.). These days, an intelligent AI voice tells us each turn to make and exactly how far to go.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Using this metaphor, like car navigation, sometimes despite the instructions we miss a turn off or overshoot an exit ramp or on ramp. Then what? A fiery ball of flame? No. The navigation system will calculate a new path to get us there. Even if you start going in the exact opposite direction of the system's instructions (like me when I use Google Maps), the system will patiently direct you back on course. Your journey is only truly over if you give up.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Life, it seems, is very much like this. Contrary to popular belief, we can even decide a direction without knowing the actual specific address. We can simply enter something close. We can change our minds en-route or make a detour or a stop off. We can make an unlimited number of mistakes. A new route will always display that tells us what to do from where we currently are. The Navi will always keep trying to show us the way. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In the end, we will get where we are going as long as we don't give up.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When we are ready to accept our own freedom, we realize that there is no timeline or schedule for reaching our destination (success/happiness) except our own. The fact that others may have taken a faster route or arrived earlier or been more efficient is of no consequence. What matters is that in the end WE ARRIVE.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A Navigation system does not necessarily need every little detail to plot a course. Newest ones can use a partial address or even just a telephone number. They can navigate using a famous landmark or a place you have previously visited. Life, too, need not have every tiny detail in place to help guide you in the right direction. So get started. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">2023 is around the corner. Instead of just feeling lost, let the New Year bring you the chance to go on an adventure or two - secure in the knowledge that your trusty Navi will always get you there and back again.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Train hard. </div><p></p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-79954449166897939572022-11-20T11:07:00.001+09:002022-11-20T11:07:14.501+09:00Learning Kanji<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh425j7Js7da3SPAaWWoqv59KjVReGRsOEdVQ_PhtLh5Mgx0BO0c2AmJaGQ5xvVjVf_SE66CtnrAPiytU7UUeIvCciveTYlEsKZcK2NN4hIbW9dY0bRddyFVPw0tPunvPu7MIopUNch-NEBQhfF4wV2hLu0o4KBopuVdIDmB2JW8476zqyAMA/s180/naka%20kanji.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="180" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh425j7Js7da3SPAaWWoqv59KjVReGRsOEdVQ_PhtLh5Mgx0BO0c2AmJaGQ5xvVjVf_SE66CtnrAPiytU7UUeIvCciveTYlEsKZcK2NN4hIbW9dY0bRddyFVPw0tPunvPu7MIopUNch-NEBQhfF4wV2hLu0o4KBopuVdIDmB2JW8476zqyAMA/s1600/naka%20kanji.png" width="180" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Kanji (漢字) are the pictograms used in writing Chinese and Japanese. Originally Chinese, Kanji have been part of the Chinese diaspora and influenced not only Japanese but Korean as well. Many Koreans still have kanji associated with their names, and until recently there was still a kanji newspaper published in Korea.</p><p>I started studying kanji as part of my Japanese class in 1989 and have been studying them in one way or another ever since. Modern Japanese (newspapers) are based on a general usage set of 1,945 characters, but most adults know between 3,000 - 5,000 based on their education and interests. It is said that there are over 30,000 kanji in Chinese including very obscure ones and derivations.</p><p>I love the fact that kanji are pictograms rather than phonetic like western alphabets, since as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. Kanji can be very efficient to transmit ideas to the viewer.</p><p>In the case of the above kanji, read "naka" or "chuu" in Japanese, it symbolizes the center or inside of something. This kanji was relevant in our class on Friday night.</p><p>In this cycle, we are working on hubud lubud (FMA sticky hands) applications including Hakka Kuntao, which is a southern Chinese martial art. I came up with the image of this kanji to reflect one of the central principles of Hakka Kuntao. In Hakka, our focus can be imagined as the four corners (both shoulders and the points of both hips) as well as the center line. Using the kanji, we imagine a square drawn connecting the four points with a line running down the center line (spine). Our objective then becomes penetrating the opponent's square to seek control of the center line, while simultaneously protecting our own square and denying the opponent access to our center line.</p><p>The shoulders and hips are predictive indicators of center line movement, so by using our peripheral vision we can anticipate the footwork (hips) or attacking line (shoulders) by watching the four corners of the box. Accessing the center line, usually via the head/neck/spine, allows us to easily compromise the opponent's balance and reduce or eliminate the ability to generate power through spinal rotation. Once this power train is disrupted it is very difficult for an opponent to deliver any meaningful strikes or recover their balance.</p><p>Hakka Kuntao is fast and powerful, concentrated on the box and center line, which makes it especially effective at very close ranges, despite the fact that many Wing Chun practitioners (Wing Chun is a representative Hakka martial art though not the only one) contend that it can be effective at medium and long ranges as well.</p><p>In Kali Majapahit, we use hubud lubud's framework to introduce several key bodies of knowledge including:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Gunting series</li><li>Hakka 5 Gates/Trapping</li><li>Application of aikido's te no tori drill</li><li>Knife and karambit flows</li><li>CQB stick trapping</li><li>Sarong and scarf applications</li></ul><p></p><p>It is a cornerstone training tool and worthy of deep investigation and committed training.</p><p>More information here:<br /><br />https://martialartsdigest.blogspot.com/2014/04/hubud.html<br />https://martialartsdigest.blogspot.com/2018/12/hubud-lubud-revisited.html </p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-70888511822645401952022-11-05T19:33:00.000+09:002022-11-05T19:33:22.016+09:00Reach Out<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Gm8Qd2wsLYo/WzCWmcNwYMI/AAAAAAAAEQY/ZjpNQPwpsN4Hbg5e4xBVBLzSynP1C3bvwCLcBGAs/s1600/reach-out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="328" data-original-width="500" height="209" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Gm8Qd2wsLYo/WzCWmcNwYMI/AAAAAAAAEQY/ZjpNQPwpsN4Hbg5e4xBVBLzSynP1C3bvwCLcBGAs/s320/reach-out.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It seems like lately everyone is dying - more specifically, it seems like many people are committing suicide - either directly, or indirectly via alcohol or drug abuse. Of course, notable celebrities attract attention regardless of whether they are rock stars, sports personalities or TV and movie stars. This trend is discussed a bit in a paper <a href="http://www.pnas.org/content/pnas/early/2015/10/29/1518393112.full.pdf">here</a>.<br />
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One of my country's greatest problems is one of multi-generational, hereditary poverty, a situation where Americans are born, live and die below the poverty line exactly as several generations before them did and just as they expect their children are likely to do. This problem represents generations of families in the USA who believe, quite rightly, that they have been ignored by government - discarded in favor of a more influential middle class and wealthy elite who can donate and support them. Exactly the constituents a candidate should advocate for, provided they actually cared about anything other than just remaining in office and milking it for every last drop of personal gain. Sadly, these voices fail to have been heard for the better part of 80 years, leaving these groups of people in despair at being ignored and denied their basic human dignity and respect.<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">In the US we are taught to equate wealth with happiness, but the reality is not so clear. According the to </span><a href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/happiness-report/2018/WHR_web.pdf" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">World Happiness Report</a><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">, the largest study of its kind, the US ranks a sobering 18th, well behind many countries with lower GDP, notably including Costa Rica (13th). Money, it seems, is not everything. However, we cannot ignore that those at or below the poverty line continue to suffer in misery with little hope for improvement under the current regime.</span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
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In many cases, these poor white people commit suicide. In some tragic others, they act out on their feelings of resentment at their societal isolation and make a statement with their AR-15, shotgun or hi-capacity semiautomatic pistol.<br />
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The paper shows that despite these feelings of racist superiority, hereditary poverty affects whites just as badly as it does poor blacks and Hispanics, sandwiching them between lack of healthcare or quality education and perpetually low wages. This leads to despair and desperation born of the hopelessness and fear of knowing that one's children will toil with no greater hope of success than any of the prior generations had. So much for white superiority.<br />
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In another generation or two, the paper suggests, poor white mortality and imprisonment will equal or exceed that of black people, irrespective of police bias. The race to the bottom continues unabated.<br />
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Sadly, this is an even greater argument for all of us to see beyond race, color or creed and to acknowledge that at the poverty line or below, all poor people have the same needs and must join forces to create social change. For those of us above the poverty line, we are obliged in our compassionate society to give what we can to promote literacy, better education, healthcare and wage growth to help these people rise above. We must influence action by our elected officials to allocate tax dollars to those who need them mist, rather than just enact tax breaks to further benefit the wealthy. Overall, we must preserve the dignity of these people and remember that our country was founded on the principles of equal opportunity, acceptance and tolerance.<br />
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According to the very powerful book <a href="http://a.co/d/6lFTJbN">"Factfulness"</a> by Hans Rosling, the world is far better than most of us think it is. Dramatic increases in global wealth, education and health have been taking place and helping make a difference in the lives of many people, far fewer of which live in absolute poverty than ever before. This is inspiring, and should remind us of our commitment to keep improving until not one single child is lost to preventable diseases, famine or war.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Meanwhile, at least according to our GOP, immigrants stream across the border to eagerly scoop up their entitled benefits of free education, low-cost healthcare and high(er) wages, thereby increasing the pressure on an already downtrodden demographic and adding exponentially to their feelings of despair. Decades of systematically trying to skew the system against non-whites have failed, leaving "privileged" whites behind immigrants in both academics and opportunity. In a desperate appeal to seize power not unlike 1930s Germany, our Republican Party appealed to the anger and hatred of this demographic and mobilized them to act out on their xenophobia. America faces the darkest moments in recent history as we tear ourselves apart from within. Our enemies in Russia, China and North Korea laugh as we push away our allies and descend into hopeless bickering among each other, all the while ignoring our fundamental moral compass as human beings. This is the greatest tragedy of all.</span><br />
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The time for divisiveness is over. The time for hatred and fear is ended. Do not lose hope.<br />
We must learn from our mistakes and put the past behind us so we can move forward AS ONE TRIBE. <span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">The time for TOGETHERNESS is upon us.</span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
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Be Present<br />
Send Peace<br />
Donate<br />
Hug<br />
Love<br />
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BE THE LIGHT.<br />
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<br />ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19984816.post-72335109244240628022022-08-05T08:37:00.000+09:002022-08-05T08:37:08.276+09:00We're Here<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYw916AS2AOC8UiSdP3Xo_rbB_7_HUWv2kjPuzEMOsUWahwWfOYBwhBpxD-SPWEX1BwDv_Qjumzbg5a5DYaowU8EQGr5MPW0NJFvfhYRjhWbAZLJe3aXbaaK6CVAxvcMBUw7ydE5eEqda80viIpiORAJXUWQqZLssdlrnHfgqntkZBhEJGQ/s500/dolly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="357" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYw916AS2AOC8UiSdP3Xo_rbB_7_HUWv2kjPuzEMOsUWahwWfOYBwhBpxD-SPWEX1BwDv_Qjumzbg5a5DYaowU8EQGr5MPW0NJFvfhYRjhWbAZLJe3aXbaaK6CVAxvcMBUw7ydE5eEqda80viIpiORAJXUWQqZLssdlrnHfgqntkZBhEJGQ/s320/dolly.jpg" width="228" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"We're here to get through this thing together, whatever it is." - Kurt Vonnegut</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The night air was cool and moist as we walked home. My teenage son was telling me about life at school. Instead of usual snarky comments and sound bites, he was opening up and telling me how he really felt. </div><p></p><p>"The girls have two basic stereotypes", he said, "one group are really concerned about money, clothes and IG and showing off. The others sleep around, hang out in clubs and whatnot. Everyone is just trying to fit in." Surely they can't all be like that, I thought. It's hard being a teenager. Life is moving quickly and you're caught in the middle of definitely not being a child anymore but not quite having the wisdom or experience of an adult.</p><p>My own teenage years were... difficult. I was filled with anger at being a foster child and all it entailed. Sick of all of it, really. Bored and tired of social workers and therapists and of feeling lucky that things weren't worse than they were. I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere and I just wanted to get away from it all. It was the worst time of my life.</p><p>I told my son the above quote from Kurt Vonnegut, which had always resonated with me. I told him that I knew it was hard and confusing. Teenagers are expected to know their life plan and have it all figured out at 16. I'm still trying to figure it out at 56. One thing I am certain of is that we are not meant to go it alone.</p><p>Throughout my life I have always found a small circle of close friends to help me get through this thing together, whatever it is. My tribe has been there for me no matter what, thick or thin, always. Together, we have laughed and cried (mostly laughed) and faced everything one way or another. Somehow, we got through. He has his circle and they are an important part of his life, too.</p><p>My Kali family (and more broadly my extended martial arts family) has been a real anchor for me. On the mats we work and sweat (and sometimes bleed). Off the mats we share and support each other. Without that element in my life I'm sure I would never have made it. I think you've got to have some true passion in life and share it with others to be truly happy. I'm lucky I found mine so early.</p><p>At 32 I was certain I'd always be single. I'm just not good at relationships - too extreme, too many mood swings. Haunted by too many ghosts and chased by too many demons. I just couldn't seem to make it work for more than a month or two. I spent most of my life trying to fix people, maybe in the hopes that it would prove my own self-worth. I couldn't save them, and as such I couldn't save/forgive myself. It was a negative spiral that just kept holding me down.</p><p>A year later I was married, now 22 years this year. I had found someone who wasn't broken and didn't need fixing - someone who was, and is, perfect just the way she is. Someone who, for reasons I can never understand, manages to love me even when I cannot love myself. Through her, my life has purpose and meaning and every good thing started with knowing she was by my side and had my back. That has made all the difference. She has helped me get through this thing, together, whatever it is. Because of her, it has been a good thing and worth getting through. Thanks to her I have never given up.</p><p>I told Ray that I bet there are lot of other people out there who feel like he does. Wondering and maybe a little bit anxious about what happens next. People who don't know why we're here or how to get through this thing, whatever it is. Just like me, all they really want is to get through it together - with someone they can count on and who will show up for them. If they could get past the plastic facade, the social media, the posturing, the virtue signaling. If they could open up and be real, then they would see him for who he really is - the man I see in him. They would consider themselves lucky to have a true companion in him, a person who can smile and laugh and who can be resilient in the face of hardship. Someone you can always count on to show you empathy and understanding. More than anything, they would recognize him as the best person to go through this thing with, together, whatever it is.</p><p>Don't worry son, she's out there. I know.</p>ジョン・ハニマンhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05629870865521056055noreply@blogger.com0