The Shame Factor

(thanks for the inspiration IDP)

Great class on Friday and some great conversation, too.  Getting good at anything takes work, a lot of work.  At the beginning, everything feels so difficult and in Filipino Martial Arts the learning curve is particularly steep.  Because we learn so much and it feels so diverse, each new movement requires a lot of repetition to absorb and sometimes we feel we are hardly making any progress at all.

It made me think a lot about what I would call "The Shame Factor".  In fact, I am sure I could write a book just about that and its unique place in Japanese society.  However, when it comes to martial arts training this is one of the biggest traps new students fall into.

Especially if they have had a bit of training elsewhere, or think of themselves as reasonably fit/athletic, students imagine their transition into the FMA should be pretty smooth.  Grab the sticks and go, right?  Many of them are shocked when seemingly basic movements are very difficult for them to grasp.  There are so many details in each action, and so much happening at once that it can feel a bit overwhelming.

Then the shame sets in.

We start to tell ourselves that it shouldn't be this hard; that we should be learning FASTER or doing BETTER or not making the same mistakes so often.  This is rooted in ego and the feelings of shame.

The reality is that FMA, like piano or tennis or golf or math or chemistry or contract law or software engineering, has a completely different expression compared to anything else, even other martial arts.  Not only do we have a brand new vocabulary (which may include Tagalog or Bahasa or Hakka words, and I add in Japanese terms as well) but the body has a different language too.  To "move" like an FMA practitioner is not easy at all, despite how easy the KM Guros make it look.  At the beginning it is truly frustrating.

To get good, really good, at something we must set our ego aside, accept that we do not know and allow ourselves to move past any feelings of shame.  Only then can we freely invest the time and energy needed to master something.  Every Guro in KM has gone through this and it was not easy for any of us.  It will not be easy for you, either.  It will, however, be worth it.

Every minute you spend with the sticks makes them more a part of you.  Every step of footwork you do helps you own the movement a little more.  Before long, the muscle memory sets in and you can free your mind to focus on strategy and environment rather than trying to command your arms and legs to do the movements themselves.

O-Sensei (founder of modern Aikido Ueshiba Morihei) is famously quoted as saying "whenever I move, that is aikido".  Of course he was not born like this, and it took decades of practice for his movement to become so instinctive.  If he had given in to shame at the beginning, the story would have ended very differently, and tens of thousands of us would have missed out...

So, when you enter the dojo take your shoes off and leave them outside.
Take your ego off, too, and leave it outside as well, right next to any feelings of shame or self-consciousness.  You can pick them up when you leave after class (well maybe just the shoes).

Trust your training and each other.  You will get there if you stick with it.  I promise.

Being The King

(thanks for the inspiration BH)

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown" - Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part 2

Chess is a fascinating game.  For more than a thousand years, this game has been used to sharpen our analytical and strategic minds.  Chess has also contributed to our understanding of mathematics and psychology, as well as computer science.  Thousands of books and articles have been written about Chess and it continues to be studied intently today.

Despite having only a limited space and scope, 64 space and 16 pieces, the combination of possibles moves and outcomes is practically infinite.  At its most basic premise, this mirrors our lives very well - since we are also finite but with practically unlimited potential.

The King is one of my favorite pieces in Chess.  Many prefer the Queen, since she is often considered the most powerful.  However, even the Queen must be sacrificed if needed in order to protect the King.  This means that the King is truly the most important piece in the game.  This is ironic, since the King himself rarely captures another piece.  It is clever use of the other pieces, and a good understanding of the battlefield (the board) that makes a Chess master.  The game is a subtle blend of patience and aggressiveness that I continue to find fascinating.

There is an important understanding here.  In life, too, we are often focused on our individual contribution - our own KPIs - as a way of justifying/validating ourselves.  In this, we lose sight of the fact that the King's real power is the power of his supporting cast: the bishops, rooks, knights and especially pawns, that determines the outcome.  All of these pieces are aligned to protect the King and to wage war on the opponent.  They each have unique skills and limitations, but if used in combination they can be unbeatable.  Every piece matters, and each lost piece is significant to the overall outcome.  Sacrificing pieces is rarely an effective strategy and is usually not done without very specific gains associated.

Of course it is no accident that the role of the Queen is significant.  A bold partner is indeed a force to be reckoned with, and choosing a strong right hand to act in concert with the king and the rest of the team is key.  Using the Queen in a good balance of offense and defense is vital to victory.  Losing the Queen often results in downfall.

As BH wisely pointed out, the more senior we become, the more we act as an influence to those around us - the other pieces - making sure they are included in the strategy and aware of their unique contribution to it.  We can accomplish so much more as an orchestrator than we could as an individual contributor.  Using the King as a proxy for any other piece usually results in a loss, so it is important to learn how to adapt to a leadership role when the time comes.

In companies, the "King" (CEO), is also reliant on a host of other "pieces" in various departments such as sales, marketing, operations, IT, finance, HR to execute his/her strategy and keep him/her (and the organization) safe.  It is a reminder that selecting and curating talent is the most important factor for success in any organization, and the King's ability to influence others' mindset/culture is a big determiner of success.  Remaining clear about the roles of each group and keeping them aligned is also paramount.  Without clear guidance and direction, the pieces do not operate together as a team, and this usually ends in disaster.

Since IBM's Big Blue beat Chess Grandmaster Gary Kasparov in 1997, we have found that AI can be a big factor in chess.  Programmed well, these learning computers have the ability to perform deep analytics with a lot of computation to validate possible outcomes.  In business, too, strong leaders use data analytics heavily to validate their decisions and empower even their front line staff (pawns) to do so as well.  "Better informed, better performed" or so it would seem.

In martial arts the parallels to Chess are very common and well-discussed.  Even I have had a go at it.  However, as described above, it is interesting to consider that just like in chess, the different pieces yield different combinations of moves.  This is why it is so important to train a wide variety of scenarios and combinations involving different ranges and heights, different environments, different tools/weapons and even different numbers of participants.  Every variable we change offers a new chance to discover and learn.  Patterns and habits in Chess, like in fighting, can be read and used against us by a savvy opponent.

Although not a skillful player, I have always enjoyed Chess and appreciated its significance as more than just a game.  Martial arts, too, is much more than game and similarly can offer deep insights about how to improve our lives.           

Time Zones

(thanks for the inspiration Mike)

Here we are on this little rock, spinning around the sun.  This situation gives us days and nights and seasons as well.  It also gives us time zones, so my morning in Japan is evening in New York City and so on.  The fact that the times are different doesn't make one place faster or slower than another.

I was inspired by this video post.

It is easy to compare ourselves to others and think our lives are better/worse than theirs.  The reality is that we all have a different timeline, a time zone, for our lives and our paths unfold uniquely.  There really is no comparison.

Even in the martial arts, seeing someone effortlessly learn new material or pass rank tests and gain new belts can make us doubt our abilities or wonder of the training is right for us.  We can become discouraged at our apparent lack of progress.

The truth is that none of us were born with martial arts skills.  Even gifted athletes struggle to get their bodies to perform complex martial arts movements and lots of repetition is needed for muscle memory.  In my experience, since FMA is so diverse, no one picks up all the categories (varieties of different weapons, empty hands, boxing/kickboxing) easily or even at the same speed.  In my case, despite more than 25 years of martial arts study before KM, I struggled with many of the movements during the first few years and I am still trying to perfect them.  At times it has been frustrating, but I always knew I would get better at it if I just kept training.

Let go of any time pressure.  Relax and let the classes do their job.  You'll get there in your own time, and the journey will be worth it.

I promise.