Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Important Matters


I really like the above.  First of all, because I'm a hugger.  I am not afraid to hug people I care about and not afraid to tell them regularly how important they are to me.  I think hugging is a natural, important form of communication.  Much of my attitude on hugging came from learning about Amma, the hugging saint.  If you've been hugged by her you will never forget.  You will be forever changed.  She is living proof of how profoundly powerful (daresay life-changing) such a simple act can be.

Also important to me in the above picture is how it highlights the importance of showing others that they matter.  As I put when I shared it on Facebook, "in the end, mattering is all that matters."  For so many of us these days the subtle message is that we don't matter.  We are stuck in long lines of people or cars, surrounded by people we don't know.  We work remotely.  We eat alone.  If we have moved away from where we grew up we may find it very hard to develop new friendships.  People prefer text or social media to actual conversations.  Standard font eMail is preferred to letter-writing.  Many young students cannot even read or write in cursive any more (but they can type or text 100 wpm).  It feels like the more overcrowded the world becomes, the more lonely we feel.  I personally believe that feeling like we don't matter is a common ingredient of the downward spiral into depression and, unfortunately, sometimes even leads to suicide.

Human beings have a desperate, primal need to MATTER.  We want to feel important and we want our lives to have meaning.  Conciously or not, we are all seeking our Purpose in this incarnation.

This is one of many things I love about martial arts.
As I have written before, martial arts practice begins and ends with a bow.  This is so much more than just a sign of respect.  It is an affirmation and acknowledgement of our legacy, our dojo, our teacher(s), our training partner(s) and even ourselves.  In the bow, we are showing that we matter.

We know that to become really good at martial arts, especially Kali Majapahit, we NEED each other.  We have to be trained by others, especially in our boxing and stickwork.  We depend on each other to help us get better.  Of course, we do our best to train our partners when it is our turn.  Like whetstones - steel sharpening steel - we push each other to give 100% during class and to correct each little movement, knowing that our partners will do the same for us.  We build deep, long-lasting friendships because we really see the essence of who we are - under pressure we see what we are really made of.  We test ourselves again and again and each time we forge ourselves into stronger people than we were before.  The lessons don't get easier - we get stronger.

The dojo is a very special place.  Using the gloves and mitts we experience contact - giving and taking - and project/receive emotional intensity from each other.  We give and get personal attention throughout the practice.  In the dojo we cannot be invisible.  There is no "hiding in the back".

I want to believe that this practice carries over to the rest of our lives, outside the dojo.  We learn to be more aware of others and to acknowledge them with our eye contact and our body language.  We learn to express ourselves physically and be comfortable in others' personal space, just as we become comfortable when they are in ours.  We become more...human.  I for one think this is something the World needs now more than ever.

Go forth and remember that YOU MATTER.  Make sure to let other people know they matter, too.