"The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step." - Japanese Proverb
In many martial arts, including ours, yellow belt is the first rank test a student takes. In Kali Majapahit, this is usually about 3 months into their journey - after the first cycle of training. For me, my yellow belt test was done in Singapore back in 2008 at the old school on Yan Kit Road. It's been a long time since then and I've taken many other tests along the way, but I often feel like the yellow belt test was the most important of all. Yes, in some ways, as important as the black belt test.
Why?
When I started in KM I was already a black belt in 2 other systems (Ninjutsu and Iaijutsu), and getting ready for black belt testing in a third (Yoshinkan Aikido - which I passed in 2009 - Osu!). I was at a crossroads. I wanted to do something new and was fascinated by Guro Fred and the KM approach. At the same time, it was hard to step out of my comfort zone in Japanese traditional martial arts, which I had been doing for over 25 years. I doubted whether I could adjust to something so different. It was a struggle.
For the first few months my arms and legs felt like lead. My footwork was always wrong. ALWAYS. I had no flow, no presence and no idea what I was doing. Everyone else was better than me at everything. I was ashamed and kept thinking that after so many years of studying other martial arts I should be...better. Still I kept going to class twice a week.
When I took my yellow belt test I did my best but still I expected to fail.
I got my feedback after the test and of course I had a lot to improve. However, there were some brights spots, too. I PASSED. I was so happy and proud. Walking home from the school that Saturday I knew something was different.
Until that moment I was a tourist. I was checking it out, but I was not invested in my outcome. I had not committed to change. I didn't expect to succeed and focused all my energy on feeling bad about what I COULDN'T do rather than encouraging myself for what I COULD do. I let negativity and self-doubt control me. I couldn't see my future in this new art.
After the test, things changed. This was my first milestone and I had not only proven to myself that I could start a new journey (I was already over 40 years old) but that I could do well enough at it to pass a test - even a beginners' test. I was recognized and acknowledged for making progress. This meant so much to me. I had proven to myself that I could do it, even by taking painful, baby steps. Even though my footwork was often wrong, I was moving forward. That's what mattered.
It's been nearly 11 years since that test and I continue to follow the path I set in motion back then. I continue to prove to myself that I can overcome my laziness and the many excuses for not going to class. I continue to seek the positive in myself and others and celebrate the good things I do and the good habits I establish. I continue to reinforce my awareness that effort -> outcome, and I prove to myself again and again that I can set and achieve the goals I set.
I OWN MY LIFE.
You own yours, too.
Celebrate every step of your journey. I'm so proud of you. You should be, too.
