More or Less

Apologies to my non-American readers.  The coins above represent two of the most common in circulation: on the left is a nickel (5 cents).  On the right is a dime (10 cents).  The point being made is simple - the smaller coin is worth double that of the larger coin.

We are often taught to believe more is better: more money, more power, more food, more friends.  There is pressure from mainstream media to think we don't have enough - that we can never have enough.  This is usually not the case.

With some few exceptions - compassion, kindness, martial arts training (hint, hint) - to name a few, more is not better.  In many cases, LESS is better.

In a very interesting study, dietitians examined why the problem of obesity was so rampant in America, while the French diet was loaded with butter, sugar and foie gras but resulted in far less statistical obesity.  The answer?  Portion sizes.  Despite a diet of much richer food, French people typically consumed far fewer calories on average than their American peers.  Quality definitely won over quantity.

In this modern age of social media, we are thought to be "successful" if we have many friends on LinkedIn or Facebook; if we have lots of followers/views on Instagram or Snapchat or Youtube or TikTok or whatever.  Many of those people we have never even met, and it would be a big overstatement to refer to them as "friends" or "followers".

Regardless of how long we have known someone, if he or she is not there in our time of need, or doesn't truly have our best interests in mind and hopes for our success, they cannot be relied upon as a friend.   I am not advocating cutting off everyone who has not proven their loyalty (although that's also not a bad idea).  I am, however, suggesting that we always be prudent in recognizing that not everyone we engage with is our friend, and not everyone we have known for a long time (classmate, same neighborhood, long-term work colleague, etc.) wishes us success, even if we wish it for them ourselves.  Remember the first rule of boxing, "protect yourself at all times".

Even in the martial arts world, there is a danger in wanting to know too many techniques, too many variations.  This always comes at a risk of getting confused or of not knowing what to do or how the techniques fit together.  Repetition, not variety, builds fluency and muscle memory.  Bruce Lee famously quipped, "Fear not the man who knows 10,000 kicks.  Fear the man who has one one kick 10,000 times."

Let go of the illusion that more is always better.  Seek only the truth of everything and everyone and "rightsize" constantly.  Be grateful for what you have and use it fully.

Train hard.

Secret Weapon

Many people, myself included, start martial arts training for self defense.  We read about all the violence these days or see disturbing stories on the news.  We don't want to feel scared or intimidated.  Maybe we've been a victim of school bullying (in my case) or domestic violence or road rage.  Maybe we've even been mugged or robbed or stalked or, God forbid, raped.  We hope that martial arts training will give us confidence, but also real, practical skills to use if we or our loved ones are ever at risk.

As we start to learn the techniques we are often seeking some "secret weapon" or "secret lethal technique", a one-shot move that will stop any attacker any time.  Hopefully with a minimum of physical strength, skill or training needed.  Even in movies, we marvel at the "5 point palm exploding heart technique" and wonder if such a thing could really exist (see Dim Mak) and, of course, if we could ever learn it.  Secretly, we long for the power of life and death over others so that we never have to feel afraid.

In the Kali Majapahit curriculum, students learn a lot of different subsystems and skills.  Ultimately, the goal is to develop martial artists that are highly adaptable: fighters who can strike, kick, lock and throw; fighters who can handle almost any weapon and adapt anything in their environment to be a force multiplier for self-defense; fighters who understand physiology, physics, bio-mechanics, psychology and strategy; fighters who are graceful but also strong and highly motivated to survive any encounter. Kali Majapahit is taught to elite special forces and law enforcement agencies in many locations, where operators' lives are at risk.  It is also brought to corporations and the public by way of R.E.D. (Recognize and Evade Danger) training.

The angst-ridden teenager in me still loves the idea of secret techniques, even though I know for the most part it is fantasy.  More importantly, over the many years of training I discovered the REAL "secret weapon" of martial arts.

Empowerment.

Yep, empowerment.  A commitment to the journey of martial arts is a way of empowering yourself to change.  To grow and to be more than who you were.  Yes, it is a way to learn practical self-defense.  It's a way to learn all of the fighting attributes I listed above (including Dim Mak, shhh...).  More importantly, it's a way of developing good healthy lifestyle habits like exercise, nutrition and self-confidence that keep us going even in times of high physical, mental or emotional stress.  As we all know, even a white belt outranks someone sitting on their couch.  Making a commitment to becoming better is the first step toward success.

The way we teach Kali Majapahit helps us set and achieve goals every three-month cycle.  We introduce new material, train it, and then test for proficiency.  We repeat this process again and again, reinforcing in each student that they can set and hit goals in their lives.  What you can do in the dojo you can do anywhere.  THIS is what empowers us to change our lives.  We don't just believe in ourselves, we prove it to ourselves.

People often ask me if I have ever had occasion to use my martial arts training "in real life".  I always answer that I use my training every single day.  They may laugh and think I'm being glib.  The reality is that while I haven't needed to resolve a physical altercation in 30 years or so, the discipline, self-control and confidence of martial arts training has helped me be a better person at work and at home for all of my adult life.  It has brought me stability, peace and a depth of spiritual understanding I could not have had with anything else. Martial arts awakened my heart with compassion and empathy, and these became the cornerstones of my training.   I would not be here today without what I have learned.

Martial arts is a precious investment that I made in myself that continues to pay big dividends all the time.  Now, as an instructor, I have a mission to share these tools with my students so that they too can improve the quality of their lives in any way they choose, using these methods to have the life they really want and the happiness they deserve.  It is never too late to change.

It is often said that success is the best revenge.  To everyone who bullied me growing up, my happy life is proof that I won.  No fists needed.

Now you know the secret.