The Zen Mountain

 

In the past, I wrote various posts about Zen practice and enlightenment, but this is a good reminder in a year where we have all been seeking something, ANYTHING to help ease our suffering. This year has truly been a big challenge to stay focused and positive in the face of a deadly pandemic that is still far from over. It has touched all of our lives in some fundamental ways and we know in the back of our minds the world can never truly go back to what it was before.

This is a time for warriors. When life is easy it is easy to be brave. This is the time that will test us and help us discover new strength, new courage and new compassion as we are forced to remember how important it is to stay connected to each other. This is what we were trained for. Not every fight takes place on a battlefield or in a dark alley. This year has been tough and if you are still standing you deserve to reward yourself. You've earned it. Celebrate your victories, however small.

I understand the importance of workshops, seminars, retreats, sequesters and other special events in the spiritual calendar. These activities can increase our focus and get us prepared to experience a higher level of awakening. Often, they can help us prepare for the next step of our journey, rather like packing a suitcase of essentials. Events can shake us out of routine and give us new perspectives to consider alternative points of view and bring us insight. They are also great sources of fellowship and learning, especially when they involve mentors we don't get to see regularly. For me, the conversations in between the training sessions have been some of the most valuable and precious times of all. 

That said, "going to the mountain" is no substitute for daily, scheduled practice. Muscle memory and spiritual memory too, comes from constant repetition. It is important to practice the techniques until they are effortless. It is just as important to practice the meditation until proper posture, breathing and clarity are automatic. Without this, the practice can never lead to the freedom we seek.

Unlike many other religions, our spiritual practice is a reminder that we have all that we need within us. Teachers and guides can help, but we own our own karmic journeys and our own paths to spiritual growth. "The Mountain" cannot give us anything we did not already have. This ownership is very important because it takes away the excuse of dependency on something external. The Mountain cannot take the place of skipped practices or lack of effort. It cannot replace the daily routine. There are no make-ups or do-overs. 

THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS.

This is very important because if you imagine there are, you seek them, get distracted and lose time. Once you accept there are not, you are free to put in the real work required to progress and grow. You also begin to fully appreciate the relationship between effort and outcome which is at the heart of good practice. You remind yourself that you can set goals and work at them until your achieve your results, not just in the dojo but throughout your life.

Forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, grace, understanding are all within our capability if we simply surrender to the truth of our practice and follow it diligently. As is often said in Zen lecture "When you seek it, you cannot find it.". The key, of course, is learning to let go.

Use the Mountain wisely, but do not expect it to yield enlightenment. Instead, focus on your daily practice and allow the Mountain to help you help yourself. The Path is not easy but the results are worth it.     

The Importance of Healing

 

We've all been hurt, every one of us.  By words or by actions, or lack thereof, we have all experienced suffering. Sometimes that hurt was caused by ourselves. It's inevitable that we will repeat this cycle again and again throughout our lives. Some wounds of course are more severe than others. In some cases, severe trauma - be it physical or emotional - stops us in our tracks or creates life-altering changes for us or those around us. Remembering such pain can hurt almost as bad as the original experience itself. In some cases, even though the physical pain is long past the emotional pain never really goes away.

As a response to pain, we often try to repress the emotions associated with it. We bury these feelings away and try to move on as if ignoring them would magically make them disappear. The reality is that these pains stay with us unless they are healed. Repressing them, forgetting about them or pretending to be better does not address the root cause and the wounds continue to fester, sometimes forever.

For physical pain, it is your body's distress signal and should always be considered worthy of investigation. Pain is your body's way of telling you to stop whatever it is that caused it, and as such it is important to discover the source and address it.

For emotional pain, too, it is our mind's way of telling us that we need to address some powerful emotions. Left alone, this pain will continue to return again and again. Likewise, it is important to understand the source and heal it properly.

Healing hurts. It takes time. It also requires both patience and courage to spend the time and energy needed to recover fully from injury. This means not aggravating a healing wound. It means taking enough rest to let the body/spirit really recover fully before engaging in the same activities again. Of course, physical therapy, like mental therapy, can help create a good recovery plan. For emotional pain, we need time before we are ready to face certain situations or relationships again and it is important to allow ourselves this time and not cut corners or rush the healing process.

In my case, I carried around the guilt, anger and hurt of being given away into state foster care as a toddler. I carried this pain for thirty years or so and it influenced every aspect of my life, damaging relationships and eroding my self-confidence. It was only through facing it, and facing my birth mother, that I actually began to heal. After so many years it was like the sunshine finally shone on my face again. In the end, she needed to heal, too.

It is not stoic or noble to endure physical and emotional pain. There is nothing "manly" about it. That which does not kill you does not always make you stronger, sometimes it just cripples you. Instead, it is far smarter to work actively on healing so that you can return to balance and find your own peace. It's out there, I promise.

Meanwhile, train as hard as you can.