Last week, as 2023 drew to a close, I was honored to attend a very special and important award ceremony. During this online event, attended by more than 30 Kali Majapahit black belts from all over the world, my teacher, Punong Guro Fred Evrard, received his 8th degree black belt / Grandmaster rank. This was conferred by Dakilang Jeff Espinous, who has been PG Fred's teacher, mentor and friend for over 30 years since his beginning in FMA. Also in attendance were other senior masters such as Guro Bruno from Tahiti, Guro Claes Johansson, founder of Kali De Mano and more. All have been with Guro Fred and Guro Lila for decades and know every detail of their lifework to establish Kali Majapahit. All agree he is well-deserving of the 8th degree black belt and Grandmaster title. As Dakilang Jeff mentioned, we could easily have hundreds of people attest to Guro Fred's worthiness.
Guro Fred is still very weak from advanced stage cancer and has been fighting with great courage for nearly two years. Despite this, he is still a beacon of positive energy. A true warrior and an incredible inspiration to us all.
As is customary in KM gatherings, we all took turns making comments to mark the occasion. At the camps we would all be in a circle, usually after an evening workshop by Guro Fred or one of the other masters, and reflecting on what we had learned.
When my turn came, I spoke about how grateful I was for the trust that Guro Fred and Guro Lila placed in me 12 years ago, supporting me to establish Kali Majapahit Japan, the first overseas KM school. Since then, we have graduated 8 black belts (so far) and taught KM to hundreds of students. We continued despite COVID and we expect to keep going no matter what.
I am certain that without KM, I would not be a martial arts instructor today. I had been a martial artist for many years before I met Guro Fred and Guro Lila, and already had three other black belt teacher ranks in Japanese martial arts. However, I wasn't teaching. I didn't feel ready and likely would never have. I loved Yoshinkan Aikido (still do) but not sure I would ever have been allowed to teach it (especially not in Japan).
Kali Majapahit gave me a platform to research and discover who I could become as a martial artist. It also rekindled in me a passion to share my insights on martial arts with others that had begun with this blog back in 2005. I wasn't ready to start up a school back in 2011. I didn't even have a Kasama (assistant instructor) rank back then. Nevertheless, Guro Fred and Guro Lila believed in me. They encouraged me to start a study group so I could keep training. They knew I would follow through. That trust meant everything to me. The rest, as they say, is history.
Kali Majapahit's global family has given me a place to belong, which has been the foundation of what I've been looking for all my life.
I was born small, premature and weak. I was left face down in my crib for so long that my left eye failed to develop and is still legally blind today. My birth parents divorced when I was barely a year old and I was placed into a foster family with a different name. I spent over 15 years in therapy/social work with the State of Illinois. Growing up I was skinny and nerdy with masking tape holding my thick glasses together, not good looking or fashionable or athletic. I had ADHD and was constantly restless. I couldn't sing, dance or draw (I still can't). I was picked dead last for everything - or not picked at all. I had no particular skills apart from reading. I had very few friends (only other outcasts like me) and was bullied relentlessly every day from elementary school all the way into high school. I never had a girlfriend or attended any school events. I was never included in anything at all. I was ignored; forgotten. I didn't exist outside of the annual yearbook or class photos.
I didn't belong in my foster family. I didn't belong in school. I didn't belong...anywhere. I felt like I didn't belong in this world at all. In those lonely days I often thought about suicide.
When I joined my first real dojo at 14, I became part of something. As a member of the dojo, people didn't care if I was a foster kid or had a social worker. Nobody cared if we were poor. Nobody judged me for my past. All that mattered was showing up to class, following the instructions and doing my best. For the first time in my life I felt accepted. I've been doing martial arts ever since. I think I always will be.
Guro Fred and Guro Lila's belief in me, aided by the advice of Guro Ben and the other KM instructors, the guidance of mentors like Dakilang Jeff, Guro Claes, Sifu James, Suro Jason and other masters, and the trust of my students have brought me a life I could never have imagined all those years ago. It's beyond my wildest dreams. Together we are a force of change, a bright and positive light in a world that always feels so close to darkness.
We are Peaceful Warriors --- I am beyond proud to be one of you and to help spread this message of Love, Peace, Compassion and Hope for everyone who needs it - just like I needed it. Saving other people saves ourselves.
So THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who has been a part of my journey.
Most especially thank you to Fred Evrard, my teacher. I am proud to call you Grandmaster.
To me, a Grandmaster is someone who changes the world. Someone who goes beyond the limits of martial arts mastery to a far deeper spiritual awakening and uses this to be the power of change for others. Grandmaster Fred is the definition of this for me. He continues to inspire me to never settle for anything less than living my very best life every day. I promise to continue to do so.
Maraming Salamat Po, Guro
