Butch (about Acceptance)

 

(thank you for the inspiration GD)

Yesterday at 09:45 my faithful companion of 15 years, Butch, died. He had a massive heart attack and slipped away in my arms. I watched the light in his eyes fade... and he was gone. Just the evening before he had gone on his walk as per usual, slower now that he was older. In the morning he was sitting next to me, sharing my morning bread as he always did. 30 minutes later he had passed away, closing a very important chapter in all of our lives. Today we cremated him and his remains took their place next to our Xie Xie, who died 11 months earlier to the day.

At the Kali Majapahit Legacy Camp in Travelers Rest, SC we started every day with a 7am walk on the beautiful campus of Furman University. It was a time for meditation and movement, filled with deep conversations that would set the tone for the rest of the busy day of training sessions. I was always glad to spend that time with my brother, Guro David from Espoo, Finland. Like me, he has a background that is anchored in the Japanese traditional arts and it is part of his personal philosophy. He is a keen observer and able to break apart complex ideas into simple things that everyone, including me, can easily understand. I always learn so much from him.

On one morning, as the sun was rising, Guro David was talking about acceptance. This became one of the most important themes of the camp. We were engrossed in the conversation, relating this topic to every aspect of the Budo and our lives.

In Kali Majapahit, we train people to be changemakers. We prepare them to take responsibility for who and how they are, challenging them to accept a life of balance and health - mental/physical/emotional. Rather than complain, we teach them to activate and get engaged in making the changes that result in personal growth, in becoming the best version of themselves. We learn to make and keep promises both to ourselves and to others, proving again and again that we are achievers. By performing successfully in class consistently, we show that we can perform consistently in every other aspect of our lives. We learn that focused effort yields powerful outcomes and we become willing to invest the sweat it takes to make our dreams into reality. It was amazing to spend a week together with black belts from all over the world who had this in common. The positive energy was incredible, like being plugged into a giant battery. It was truly a room full of superheroes.

So what about acceptance then? Doesn't that mean sitting by passively and letting the world unfold without lifting a finger trying to change it??

Actually, NO.

There are two sides to change, which together create the whole. Just as Yin/Yang (陰陽）exist as two equal sides in Taoist philosophy. On one hand, we need to learn that many/most of what happens in life is outside our control or influence. Simply, the events cannot be changed. We are born, we grow old, we die. This process can be influenced to some degree but cannot be changed. Most importantly, we cannot change the karmic journey of others and cannot take their journey onto ourselves.  Depending on what flavor of Buddhism you believe, our own destinies are also pre-ordained and cannot be changed (Guro Fred deeply believed this). We must become who we are meant to become.

However, although we cannot change the events in our lives, we can control how we react to them. We can interpret these events in positive or negative ways and this in turn influences the tone of how we live. Some people have a tone that is decidedly negative and sad.  Every event that transpires is viewed through a lens that interprets it in the most negative and sorrowful way. Such people are usually sad and miserable. In a perverse way, maybe they feel validated by the misery they create for themselves, as if feeling sorry for themselves somehow absolves them of the need to take responsibility for their own lives and circumstance. They maintain that they are unlucky, cursed or that God hates them. This is the victim mindset.

By contrast, some people feel blessed by every event. Even difficult or sad occurrences are perceived as opportunities for learning, maturity and growth. Hardship is seen as a pathway to wisdom and a source of empathy and compassion for others. They feel that God grants the toughest challenges to those most able to bear the burden. They seem unbreakable and resilient even in the face of catastrophe. The events didn't change, but their interpretation of them did. This is the mindset of survivors and victors.

In the end, acceptance is about allowing every moment, every event, to happen without trying to alter them. It means not allowing lies to cloud the truth of what has been. It means not turning away from hardship or running from it. It means facing every challenge with eyes wide open, experiencing the moment fully and completely. It means being right here, right now. Always. Likewise, acceptance means not dwelling too much on the good events either. We know that these, too, will fade in time and we do not seek to hold onto them too tightly. We enjoy the moments, and allow ourselves to feel accomplishment without becoming drunk on pride or ego. Reality grounds us. Acceptance is the antithesis of attachment. Letting Go is a process of acceptance.  This is easy to talk about and hard to do in practice.

Yesterday I had to accept the loss of my beloved pet. This could not be changed. I had to let go. His spirit left yesterday morning as I looked into his eyes. Today, his body was burned and his remains returned to us for safekeeping. I will not dwell in the past but I will never, ever forget him. I will not cry for the future, but I will always wish I could have spent more of it with him. I will always wish for one more day, one more moment to share together. Mostly, I am grateful for the gift of his love and companionship during these 15 years. I was so incredibly lucky to be the human of such a perfect dog. He taught me so much and even in his dying breath showed me how to accept and to let go of this life with dignity and grace. I have understood the assignment. I will be ready when it is my turn.

Thank you Butch, my furry little Zen master. Please wait for me, I will see you again before too long.

Until then, RUN FREE 

What we Learn By Being Tested

 

(Thanks for the inspiration JP)

Testing is an important part of the KM rotating curriculum. Every three months we introduce, learn, practice and drill new material. At the end of the cycle, we test to see how well we have mastered it.

Testing is an opportunity to show growth and progress not just in our technique, but in our character. We show our intensity, our focus and our concentration. Sometimes the tests can be an hour or more, requiring continuous focus to perform. This is no small feat.

When we pass the test, we are recognized for our efforts, but are also allowed to feel a strong sense of accomplishment. We are building good habits, showing up for ourselves and fulfilling the promises we made to become a better version of who we were. Again and again we repeat this process of goal-setting and goal achievement, proving to ourselves that we are continuous learners and constantly improving. Doing this in the dojo shows we can do it outside the dojo. In our lives at home, at work/school and with our friends, we are able to evolve to become more authentic and more genuine - we learn to be present and to respect both ourselves and others. We become part of the Positive Light that brightens the world.

So what do we really want students to take away from a test??  It is a physical challenge, of course. In every cycle we introduce a lot of complex material that can be hard to remember. At the beginning of the cycle all of it is unfamiliar and gradually we commit it to muscle memory. We are continuously reviewing our basics and strengthening our foundation so that new movements and techniques are strong, too.

However, more than this we develop RESILIENCE. This is the ability to persevere in the face of difficulty. We learn to refocus/reset and recover when we are under stress and not to simply give in to pressure and fold. Sometimes a test just doesn't go as planned. The techniques and flow don't come easily. We get stuck. We feel frustration. There is high anxiety because we want to do our very best. Our mind races and we regret every training session we missed or that we did not review enough outside of class. We feel nervous and afraid of failure...

It is in these moments that we find the depth of our character. Under pressure, we rise. Unbroken, we breathe deeply and reframe ourselves. We focus on being right here/right now. We feel the connection to our practice and to our partner. We let go. We accept. WE FLOW.

As a teacher, I am always so proud to see students correctly execute the techniques of Kali Majapahit. They move with power and grace and seem able to handle every new challenge I give them. More than this, I am impressed by their courage and fortitude when the going gets tough. This gives me comfort that I am helping them develop skills that will bring them success outside the dojo, too.

Not every fight is in a dark alley and not every confrontation is physical. If we learn properly, we can use our martial arts training every single day. The Kali Majapahit experience helps us learn to manage stress and pressure, essential in many areas of our lives.

Thank you to all the students for reminding me of this and for showing me why what I do is so important.

Pugay Po

What I learned from last night's Cycle Test

 

After an exciting week at KM HQ in beautiful Travelers Rest, South Carolina, Guro Joe and I were back in Japan. The following day, we held our cycle test. The test was originally planned for August 31, but it just didn't happen.

Prior to leaving, a few unexpected issues arose. First of all, a major typhoon (ShanShan) threatened Japan that week. In the end, damage was minimal as at the last moment it veered away from the Greater Tokyo Metro Region. However, heavy rains and flooding still caused disruption to most public transportation and in the interest of safety, I made the decision to cancel the session. Secondly, I was invited to a business dinner with several board members from my key customer. My boss flew in from Singapore specifically for the event, so it could not be postponed. The dinner was a big success, but I again had to cancel class.  The following day, Guro Joe and I flew to the US for the Legacy Camp.

In all, the students were left without any dojo training sessions for about two weeks. I was very concerned that in the interim, without constant repetition, they might forget the material. During the prior three month cycle, we covered a wide variety of techniques ranging from single stick flow (sumbrada) to empty hands (Hakka Kuntao) to kickboxing. It's a lot to remember.

Last night I gave them the option to postpone the test in favor of a few more review sessions. Unanimously, they decided they wanted to go ahead as planned.

First of all, that decision represented the very best of the warrior spirit. In the face of adverse conditions, they showed the courage to move forward, letting go of fear and accepting the challenge - facing it head on rather than waiting for greater certainty. I applaud the confidence and dedication to moving forward. As a wise man said "Done is better than Perfect".

Secondly, it showed that even after a few weeks away from the dojo they largely remembered the techniques. That shows mastery. All too often in life, we fail to own the material beyond what it takes to pass a test. This is not the same as really knowing something. Knowledge committed to our long term memory remains with us sometimes for decades. Like the proverbial "riding a bike", some things are never forgotten. I am both proud and humbled that KM is important enough for them to have committed it to their muscle memory.

In the end, it was an amazing test. Focus, discipline, engagement. They had it all. Was it perfect? Of course not. As I told them, I have never had a perfect test either. I always walk away with a little regret, wishing I had done just a little better. However, for the most part the techniques were good, showing solid foundations and good understanding of the basic mechanics of KM.

I could not be more proud.

In the end, beyond simple technique,  our time in the dojo should build our resilience. It should help us learn to remain calm in the face of any challenge and to rise to adversity and face it like warriors.

Thank you again to the students for a great demonstration of this. Well done.

See you next week.