The Lesson of the Snake

 

The lesson of the snake is an important one. This snake somehow managed to wrap itself around a common saw, which began to dig into its skin. As it felt pain, the snake fought back. It squeezed harder, desperate to hurt the thing that was hurting it. Desperate to win the fight. The harder the snake squeezed, the more the saw blade dug in and cut its flesh. Eventually, the snake succumbed to its wounds and died. The saw won.

This picture really got me thinking. How often am I fighting back when I should be letting go? How many times have I been so desperate to inflict pain on the people and things that hurt me that I end up suffering far worse? In the end, the desire for revenge, the need to win no matter what, cost the snake its life. It would cost me my life, too. If I let it.

Sometimes in life, the smartest thing to do is let go. To walk (or crawl) away.

Zen practice is really about seeing the truth. In ourselves and in others as well. In seeing this truth, moment by moment, we are free to act naturally in order to minimize the suffering of our own preconceptions and illusions. I hope to have the openness to accept the truth in my life and not let myself be hurt trying to win impossible fights. I hope I can see clearly that revenge can often cause more suffering than just leaving. If I am going to fight for my life, I hope it will be for something important and not just out of spite.

Thank you to the snake for this valuable lesson. I won't forget it.

See you at class.

80s Dance Party

 

It was a great night. Class parents organized an event for those of us with children graduating in the class of 2025. The theme was 80s Dance party. Being born in 1966, the 80s were a magical time for me. I was coming of age into adulthood, going from my teens into my 20s, graduating high school (1984), working my first jobs, starting college (1987) and so on. My favorite 80s music is tied directly to my experiences at that stage of my life. It brings back so many beautiful memories. It was a glorious time at the full-on pace one can only have when they are young and full of energy. Reliving those days and nights was such a treat.

I decided to go as a rapper, JON DMC (see photo). It was super fun to get out the Adidas track suit and fake chains, my Kangol cap and so on. I forgot how much fun a good costume party can be.

For the first hour or so, everyone was at the bar with drinks and chatting. This did not do for my wife, who LOVES dancing. She grew up a gymnast and dancer so as a lifelong athlete she really wanted to hit the floor. Finally the good music came on and we got to it. I’m not a great dancer by any means, but I used to go a lot, especially in the 80s.

I found an immediate difference between the parents who are active into their 40s and 50s and those who are not. Many of the wives had a sports background which continued into their parenting years via yoga, pilates, running and other sports. They were comfortable getting onto the dance floor and had a wonderful time. For some of the guys, although they looked slim, you could tell there was apprehension when it came to moving the body. They looked nervous and worried, that maybe their hip or back or knees wouldn't hold up to a song or two. Maybe they were shy and needed a few more drinks first.

Of course, for people with injuries I fully understand. Many of us have been in car accidents (I've been in 10!) or had other events that leave lasting damage to the body that is hard to recover. However, for many of them, the only injury is that of neglect. For some, being consumed by career meant not going to the gym, walking, or pursuing other hobbies that allow you to move and sweat. Over 10 or 20 years, the body adjusts to NOT MOVING, and that becomes the norm.

I’m not going to do an Ironman triathlon anytime soon, but I was grateful that I could still go out dancing for a few hours and then get up and be active (over 10k steps) the following day despite being 58. I think this is normal. I am again grateful for the habits of martial arts training which keep me stretching and moving a few times a week and make me feel younger than I am.

It was a reminder to stay active. Always. The alternative is early onset disability.

The saddest part of this is that it would occur (presumably) after becoming successful and having the time and money to pursue the passions and hobbies we have spent a lifetime saving for. This may explain why many people pass away so soon into their retirement years - the body simply can't provide the mobility for more activity.

Death is an inevitability for us all, but personally I'd like to be as active as I can until then. O-Sensei (Morihei Ueshiba), founder of Aikido, was actively teaching until the day he died. I hope to follow his example.

See you at class!