Two Little Words

Another long day...another long week...
A long, crowded commute to the office for another day filled with meetings - meetings with co-workers; meetings with customers; meetings with visitors from out of town; lunches; dinners; drinks.
A long commute home thinking about all the things I have to do the next day, the next week, the next quarter...

Many of us spend our time thinking about what we "have" to do and who we "have" to meet.  We fill our calendars and day planners with to-do lists of tasks and meetings that never seem to end.  We feel a loss of control and get lost in the ebb and flow of our lives, caught in a never-ending rat race. But are we??

What if I proposed that we change two little words?
We change "have" to into "get" to?  What happens??

"Have to" takes away our control.  It leaves us victimized by our circumstances, burdened by responsibilities we never chose to bear.  It makes other factors our oppressors.  "Get to" expresses our rights and privileges.  It allows us to feel empowered by choice.

Now, instead of all the people I HAVE to meet, I think about all the people I GET to meet.  People I am able to spend time with.  People who can benefit me in many different ways.  Co-workers I can build a relationship with, where we can trust each other to do the right thing for our customers and help each other when needed.  Relationships I can build which I may carry forward for many, many years.  I get to meet customers who can help me understand the right combination of products and services they need to succeed.  Customers who can help me hone my service mentality to razor sharpness.  Customers who push me to be better and deliver more value.  I get to meet managers and leaders of other departments who can help me learn more about our company and what we do, and how we can work together better.  I get to meet people who inspire me for new ideas and vision about the Art of the Possible.

Instead of all the tasks I HAVE to do, what about considering them as tasks I GET to do?  Tasks that will help me develop my knowledge and skills, tasks that will help me find opportunities to collaborate with others.  Tasks that will help me develop patience and perseverance (yes, sometimes that's the best outcome we can hope for).  Tasks that can help me uncover my weaknesses or explore and develop new strengths.  Tasks that show me I am needed by others in order for our common mission to succeed.  Tasks that remind me how good it feels to be a part of something worth doing.

Every meeting I join can teach me something.
Every person I meet can teach me something.

I need to avoid the traps of negativity, and stay focused on positive outcomes rather than complaining about how busy I am or how many people demand my time.

Maybe by just changing a word or two I can change my outlook and connect to my Gratitude Attitude.

YOU ARE HERE

You are HERE, right where you belong.

It's easy to fall into the twin traps of victimization or unworthiness.  On one hand, many of us (myself included) have times where we think "why me?".  It's like the Universe itself is conspiring against us to destroy our carefully laid plans, rain on our parade, or keep us from getting what we think we deserve.

Likewise, when good things happen we find it hard to believe that something special could happen to "someone like us" as though we do not deserve to have positive outcomes or to achieve our goals since somehow, deep in our hearts, we do not consider ourselves "worthy" or "lucky".

The truth, neither good nor bad, is that we are always right where we are meant to be.  When good things happen, it is important not to attribute them to simple blind luck, but to consider (and more importantly, to acknowledge) the positive impact our efforts and the efforts our supporters have had on our achievements.  Failing to do so robs us of our recognition that effort matters, effort is directly linked to outcome, and that cooperation is of paramount importance in accomplishing the things we set out to do.  We are products of our hard work, and also of other peoples' work on our behalf.

The victimization/persecution side is far more difficult.  It is easy to start believing everything and everyone is "out to get us".  The truth is that as much as I am a product of my hard work and the support of others, I am also a result of overcoming the many challenges I have faced - some of which have not resulted the intended outcomes.  Without those experiences, I could not have developed confidence in my ability to achieve.  Neither could I have learned some of the most important lessons I have been taught, much of which came from careful study of what happened when I thought I failed.

I think we are consistently faced with challenges that offer us opportunity to excel.  In doing so, we can develop a platform of successful habits and skills that over time give us the flexibility to conquer the unknown and to do so confidently, secure that come what may, we can find a way (with help, of course).  In the tough times, instead of thinking "why me?" I try to ask myself "what am I meant to learn from this?" and focus myself on taking away something of value from every situation - especially the ones which ended badly for me.

I am grateful for my experiences, good and bad, which have brought me to this point almost 51 years later.  I'm still here - exactly where I am supposed to be.  I hope I still have a lot more life left in me, and with your guidance and support, I want to keep challenging myself to be better than before.

Come along.  A journey worth taking is worth taking TOGETHER.

Motivational Speaking

(thanks for the inspiration Grinder)

Today a good friend suggested I become a motivational speaker or a life coach.  My response?

"I am. We all are".

Not trying to be glib here (well, maybe just a little bit).  My point is a simple one.  Everyone, that's right EVERYONE, is in their own way a motivational speaker or life coach whether they realize it or not.  We are all made up of a set of experiences and insights that have made us who we are.  Sharing this has the power to help others.  It is truly one of the greatest gifts we have.  Awareness begins with understanding our innate ability to influence others. Awakening is our acceptance of this responsibility we have and using this knowledge to improve the lives of others.

Everyone has a perspective or experience of value, and we all have the capacity to improve one another's lives.  Of course, going to see Tony Robbins (pictured above) is a life changing experience.  He has used this same power to build a brand and achieve his definition of success - notably from having been a janitor and not even graduating college.  Those academic things don't matter as much as many people think they do.  What's important is knowing we have something we can share, clarifying that positive message, and then actually breaking through our fear in order to use our message to help other people.

We all need not be on stage inspiring millions like Tony does.  We have the power to help through a kind word or action at a bus stop or in line at the supermarket - anywhere, anytime.  As well, we have the power to grow from the experiences of others if we listen, truly listen, to what they are saying.  I have been motivated and coached by literally thousands of people over the course of my 50 year journey.  Many of them didn't even know they were doing so.  Some were on TV or via YouTube or other media.  Hearing about their journeys inspired my own.  Sharing my stories is one way I can give back for all I've received.  My journey is far from over and I remain fully committed to helping other people until my time here is done.

Certainly some people inspire us about what we don't want to do or become - this is no less valuable than the positive examples.  In fact, sometimes it is our commitment to not repeat the mistakes of others or learn from our own mistakes that drives us to the greatest changes and improvements.  Sometimes it is sharing our experiences that empowers us to rise above our circumstances with a much deeper perspective we can pass on.

Knowing that we all have this power within us - the power to motivate and coach others - is a great equalizer.  It causes me to try to treat everyone with dignity and respect, since I recognize that each person can be of benefit to my understanding.  In the end, all most of us really want is to be respected.  Giving respect, especially to those who may have lost it for themselves, is a key to connecting.  We discount the poor, the old, the sick, the homeless at our peril - their stories often have the most value and their lives often have the greatest examples of courage and strength.

Henry David Thoreau writes "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."
To me, this is why we must do our very best to connect to each other - for their sake as much as our own.  By connecting, we share. By sharing, we grow. By growing, we achieve.  This cycle of virtue helps give our lives meaning and purpose, leaving us with a richer outcome at the end.

Especially now, governments are working hard to divide us - to keep us from sharing with other and acknowledging our common core.  Please join me in resisting these attempts to break society apart.  Embrace what makes us human --- Compassion.  Open your heart to listen.  Open your heart to share.
Motivate and be motivated. 
I promise you can make a difference to someone, just as they can for you.

Making a difference is why we are here, after all.