Listen...

"My favorite piece of music is the one we hear all the time if we are quiet."
 --- John Cage


Silence is golden.  We are bombarded by a constant media overload every day of our modern lives.  We hear cars, trains, buses, construction, commotion.  We use our telephones, our stereos, our MP3 players, our televisions.  Most of us (myself included) talk too much.
As a species, we have forgotten how to listen.  We have forgotten to appreciate silence.

There are many kinds of listening.  For me the most important is the listening that occurs during meditation.
This is what John Cage refers to above, but it is much deeper than that.

Guro Fred taught me that the essence of us is our soul.  This soul comes to us manifested (currently) in our physical body.  The eternal soul has its own memory and its own mission; to eveolve and grow toward the ultimate goal of enlightenment.  To do so, our soul must cleanse of all wrongdoing.  We purify our soul through our diet, through our breathing, through our meditation.  In meditation we go deeper into our conciousness until we reach the place where we can begin to LISTEN.

What do we hear?  This voice is the voice of the soul.  It will speak to you and tell you what to do.  Not in the simple material sense (such as asking you to pick up a carton of milk), but in the broader, spiritual sense.  The voice will tell you your life work; your mission, and how to proceed down your own path to enlightenment.

I contend that much of our unhappiness, frustration, and unease comesf rom the simple fact that we forgot how to listen to our voice.  Disconnected from our soul, we feel disconnected from everything else.  In this state we cannot truly relax.  If we fail to listen, after we die our soul will go to sleep and start over.  We lose spiritual momentum and our soul will pick up where it left off in our next incarnation.

By contrast, through meditation, breathing, diet we begin to listen again.  By listening we start to change our life to be closer to the path our soul wants for us.  Our unique destiny.  This explains how some people feel they were "born to do something", and in doing so they reach a state of fulfillment that could not have been possible any other way.  This is a happiness which most people will never reach, but which any person could have.  If he/she would just LISTEN.  This happiness is not a delirious, giggling happiness (not all the time, anyway).  Rather, it is a sense of quiet confidence and CONTENTMENT.  This is true and lasting happiness.

There is no magic formula for this.  It is very simple.
Diet
Breathing
Meditation

Then...LISTEN.  I promise you will like what you hear.

What I Learned From My Dog

This is Butch, our pug.
He is the first dog we have ever had (now we have two).  I never imagined I would have a dog in my family, and now I can't imagine not having a dog in my family.  We have taught him things, and he has taught us things as well.  Here are the top things I have learned from him:

Get Plenty of Sleep
Butch sleeps a lot.  He is never busy just to appear busy.  When it is time to do something, he does it.  When there is nothing to do, he sleeps.  When sleeping, Butch is totally and completely relaxed.  He can sleep anywhere, and sleeps deeply. 
 
Drink Lots of Water
Butch only drinks clean, fresh water.  He is happy to have it, and doesn't need anything else.

Be Grateful for Your Daily Meals
Butch is always excited at mealtime, even if it is the same thing over and over again.  He really seems to appreciate when we make it for him, and he concentrates fully on eating when he is served.  He eats his whole meal and never leaves any behind.

Take A Daily Walk
Butch goes on a walk every day.  He loves to check out his neighborhood, and generally be outside in the sunshine.  He doesn't go for a walk on rainy days (his choice not to) and he is not too bothered when that is the case.  He prefers going outside for a walk to watching TV (except on rainy days).

Play Hard
Butch loves to play.  He loves to play fetch, and roll around.  He loves any kind of game you can think of.
Playing is very important to him, and he is never too busy to play.

Be Social
Butch knows all the other dogs in the neighborhood.  He loves to see them on walks, and play together when they meet.  He is part of a larger socal fabric.  He knows his place in it and is comfortable with all dogs; all types, all colors.  Some dogs don't like Butch, but Butch is not bothered about that at all.  He knows it is their choice, not his.

Never be Ashamed to Show Your Love
Butch loves us totally, completely, and will every moment of every day for the rest of his life.  He knows we love him too.  We are not his owners, and he is not our slave or possession.  He is our companion, who makes our lives happier becuse he is a part of it.  Butch wags his tail when he sees us or hears us call his name.  He licks our faces to show us he cares about us.  Even if he cannot understand all our words, he always listens intently.

Honesty and Simplicity are the Keys To Happiness
Butch does not pretend to be anything other than what he is.  He does not dream of a better life or a far away place.  Butch does not wish he had a bigger house or longer legs or different food.  He accepts his life as it is, and appreciates and is grateful for it.

Never underestimate the power of Loyalty
Butch has sharp teeth and strong jaws, but he would never use them on us.
He would follow us anywhere and all he would ever ask in return is that we try to love him as much as he loves us (if that could be possible).  Butch is always right by our side, even if we are sad or lonely or angry or frustrated or sick or tired.  He is always loving and supportive.

I wish I was more like my dog.  I wish most people I know were more like my dog.

On Parenting: Success and Failure

(thanks for the inspiration Sisters)

Yesterday one of my close friends posted on FB  "My parents told me they think I am a failure".  She went on to say that they felt that way because she hadn't decided to pursue a typical high-power, high-stress career such as finance, medicine, or law.  This made me think.

I am also a parent.  What do I want for my boys?

Before I dive into that, however, there are some realities of parenting that I would like to share from my 10 years of experience at it.  Sisters, feel free to have your parents read this blog.

1) You do not OWN your children (neither do they own you)
Last time I checked, slavery has been abolished in the free world.  Giving life to our children is the single greatest thing that can happen to any of us. We have, for that single event, the power to create something everlasting.  We have the power to create something that can change the course of history (good or bad); something that can be independent and individual.  We create change that can then create change.  We do not own the changes, we are merely a facilitator of them.

I am not against children having responsibilities.  In fact, just the opposite.  Having responsibilities is part of understanding our place in any group we belong to - and a family is one of those groups.  However, I always try to leave it up to my children to decide to fulfill their responsibilities or suffer the consequences of that.  They don't do their job; I don't do my job (like cooking for them, playing games with them, reading to them, taking them where they want to go, etc.).  However, it is wrong (and unfair) for parents to expect their children to do everything for them at command like slaves.  This takes away the feeling of control/freedom of choice from the children and leads them to the feelings of hopeless despair that they are unable to influence their own environment.  This is the basis of a fear relationship rather than a love relationship.

2) Your Children Do Not have an obligation to succeed at your failures
We all make mistakes.  It is part of being alive and being human.  Adding mistakes to mistakes does not correct them, it makes them worse.  It is the worst of mistakes to imagine that our children exist for the purpose of becoming the person we failed to become.  It is not their responsibility to become the sports hero we could not be, to get into the college we could not enter, to land the job we could not get, to make the money we did not have, to marry the person we couldn't win over, and so on.  Our failures are OUR OWN, and we have to be mature enough not to project them onto our children (who will have plenty of their own, believe me).

3) Your Children Need Not Follow In Your Footsteps
Likewise, if you are successful (first of all, good for you) it is not your children's responsibility to become your clone.  They need not follow your career path, but instead need to find and define their own.  Hard as it may be to accept, they need not share your particular passion for classical music, pro-wrestling, fishing, or whatever.  They will find their own interests, and as a good parent it is far more important that you share THEIRS, rather than the other way around.  if you don't over time it will become hard to bond with them.

4) Being A Parent Is About Learning To Let Go (so is everything else)
All of life is about learning to let go.  Let go of fear, let go of anger, let go of sadness, let go of expectation, let go of prejudice, let go of attachments, let go of desire.  The list goes on and on.  In parenting, it is very important to accept the family situation for what it is, and not to be disappointed by the many challenges that inevitably are a part of it.  Focus on the joyful moments and it is far, far easier.

5) Your Children Will Learn More from their Friends than from their Teachers (or their parents)
Peer pressure/social pressure is very real.  It is important to surround your children with good, positive peer role models, as well as good teachers.  Pay attention to your childrens' friends.  Meet them.  Engage them and understand what kind of people they are.  This will be far more important than you imagine.

Success
We all want our children to succeed.  In concrete terms, what do I think this means?
I want my boys to be happy.  When I say "happy" I am not talking about the temporary happiness that comes from eating ice cream or watching a favorite TV show (although that is OK sometimes, too).  I am also not talking about the crazy happiness of being at Disneyland (also, sometimes OK, too).  I define happiness as:

"Feeling a state of contenment born of purpose, and of feeling an essential part of one's social fabric, cared for and respected by others.  Valued.  Trusted. Loved.  Important. Challenged.  Rewarded.  Grateful. Free. Curious/interested. Engaged.  Aware."

I personally believe this comes from having a solid academic and ethical/moral education, a strong spiritual education/awareness (not necessarily Christian), and a balanced social network of friends and mentors.

Notice I do not specifically mention any career choices here, since I think you can be happy regardless of the job you do or the career path you choose.  I myself have been on many paths, having started my latest career shift a scant 3 months ago.  Anyone who thinks they can know their lifetime career path when they are still a student is not being realistic or is a very special person indeed (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., for example).  Even many of the greatest of us did not know his/her path until they stumbled onto it.

Failure
How could I fail as a parent?  What would that mean?
I feel like I have had literally thousands of failures as a parent:  the many, many times I didn't say the right things at the right moment.  The times I felt too tired, or too stressed from work, or too caught up in my own life to give the time and attention my children deserved.  So much more.  Luckily, the big picture has a way of smoothing over the rough spots in the small picture.  I am grateful for this.  Basically,

• I would consider myself a failure as a parent if my children did not have self-respect, self-control, self-discipline. 
• I would consider myself a failure as a parent if my children did not feel loved and respected by me unconditionally. 
• I would feel like a failure as a parent if my children felt they could not trust me or depend on me no matter what. 
• I would consider myself a failure as a parent if my children were reluctant to talk to me about something important to them. 
• I would consider myself a failure as a parent if my children did not feel they had the tools to make themselves happy (see above).
• I would consider myself a failure as a parent if my children did not have a sense of adventure about their lives and a sense of wonder about the world.
• I would consider myself a failure as a parent if my children did not understand that success requires effort.
• I would consider myself a failure as a parent if my children were not kind and respectful to others or lacked proper social skills.

I clarify here that although I have had many failures, I do not consider myself a failure as a parent (yet).  Mistakes are part of the process, and I try to learn from them.  I remain focused on the above.

I truly believe the martial arts offers a rich and reqarding experience for any child that can help him/her reach their potential and develop the tools to be happy.  Martial arts are also very important to me as a parent since they help me train myself to be a better person.

In closing:


On Children


by Kahlil Gibran


Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

How 'The Karate Kid' Ruined The Modern World

(SO GOOD I AM REPOSTING HERE)

How 'The Karate Kid' Ruined The Modern World


By: David Wong May 01, 2010


I think The Karate Kid ruined the modern world.

Not just that movie, but all of the movies like it (you certainly can't let the Rocky sequels escape blame). Basically any movie with a training montage.

You know what I'm talking about; the main character is very bad at something, then there is a sequence in the middle of the film set to upbeat music that shows him practicing. When it's done, he's an expert.

When I am fired as the Editor of Cracked and run out of ideas for penis-based horror novels, I want to write this up as a self-help book, probably titled Fuck The Karate Kid: Why Life is So Much Harder Than We Think, by Dr. David Wong. I also have to become a doctor at some point.

It seems so obvious that it actually feels insulting to point it out. But it's not obvious. Every adult I know--or at least the ones who are depressed--continually suffers from something like sticker shock (that is, when you go shopping for something for the first time and are shocked to find it costs way, way more than you thought). Only it's with effort. It's Effort Shock.

We have a vague idea in our head of the "price" of certain accomplishments, how difficult it should be to get a degree, or succeed at a job, or stay in shape, or raise a kid, or build a house. And that vague idea is almost always catastrophically wrong.

Accomplishing worthwhile things isn't just a little harder than people think; it's 10 or 20 times harder. Like losing weight. You make yourself miserable for six months and find yourself down a whopping four pounds. Let yourself go at a single all-you-can-eat buffet and you've gained it all back.

So, people bail on diets. Not just because they're harder than they expected, but because they're so much harder it seems unfair, almost criminally unjust. You can't shake the bitter thought that, "This amount of effort should result in me looking like a panty model."

It applies to everything. America is full of frustrated, broken, baffled people because so many of us think, "If I work this hard, this many hours a week, I should have (a great job, a nice house, a nice car, etc). I don't have that thing, therefore something has corrupted the system and kept me from getting what I deserve, and that something must be (the government, illegal immigrants, my wife, my boss, my bad luck, etc)."

I really think Effort Shock has been one of the major drivers of world events. Think about the whole economic collapse and the bad credit bubble. You can imagine millions of working types saying, "All right, I have NO free time. I work every day, all day. I come home and take care of the kids. We live in a tiny house, with two shitty cars. And we are still deeper in debt every single month." So they borrow and buy on credit because they have this unspoken assumption that, dammit, the universe will surely right itself at some point and the amount of money we should have been making all along (according to our level of effort) will come raining down.

All of it comes back to having those massively skewed expectations of the world. Even the people you think of as pessimists, they got their pessimism by continually seeing the world fail to live up to their expectations, which only happened because their expectations were grossly inaccurate in the first place.

You know that TV show where Gordon Ramsay tours various failing restaurants and swears at the owners until everything is fine again? Every episode is a great example. They all involve some haggard restaurant owner, a half a million dollars in debt, looking exhausted into the camera and saying, "How can we be losing money? I work 90 hours a week!"

The world demands more. So, so much more. How have we gotten to adulthood and failed to realize this? Why would our expectations of the world be so off? I blame the montages. Five breezy minutes, from sucking at karate to being great at karate, from morbid obesity to trim, from geeky girl to prom queen, from terrible garage band to awesome rock band.

In the real world, the winners of the All Valley Karate Championship in The Karate Kid would be the kids who had been at it since they were in elementary school. The kids who act like douchebags because their parents made them skip video games and days out with their friends and birthday parties so they could practice, practice, practice. And that's just what it takes to get "pretty good" at it. Want to know how long it takes to become an expert at something? About 10,000 hours, according to research.

That's practicing two hours a day, every day, for almost 14 years.

Don't let me act like I'm some kind of guru here, either. I write boner jokes for a living now, but I'm three years removed from looking at the Classifieds and seriously considering making ends meet with night jobs that would have had me cleaning toilets.

I walked out of college at 22 thinking I was going to be king of the world within a few years. Ten years later I had failed at one career, then failed at another, tried to go back to school twice, accumulated $15,000 in credit card debt, and was working at a job where I was one promotion above high school kids.

I felt like I was working myself to death. Year after year. And even then, so many things had to break my way to get what I have now. A company happened to get sold to the right people, a guy happened to quit his job. Another dude died. If those dominoes hadn't fallen in just the right way, instead of Editor of Cracked I'd be behind the counter at Denny's, getting wrestled to the ground by cops because I don't actually work there. Before this happened to come along I had lost hope and lowered my expectations over and over and over and nothing that had happened in my life up to that point prepared me for it. Nobody told me how hard this was going to be.

All I had was fucking Karate Kid.
David Wong is the Senior Editor of Cracked.com and the author of the critically-acclaimed horror novel John Dies at the End, available in hardcover everywhere except the 72 countries in which it has been rightfully banned.

There is No Enlightenment Outside of Daily Life

"There is no enlightenment outside of daily life." - Thich Nhat Hanh

Many of us go through every day as if something is missing.  We are waiting... waiting for that special someone; that special job; that special product...that special SOMETHING that will affirm for us that we ourselves are special.  We seek happiness principally in things outside ourselves, as if someone or something could make all our worries, fears and insecurities go away.

Some people would read my title quote with despair.  They would imagine the fatalistic point of view which says "don't bother.  There is no enlightenment out there.  There is nothing worth seeking."  In fact, this could not be further from the truth.  Enlightenment is not to be sought in external things or special moments.  Rather, enlightenment is found in EVERY MOMENT OF OUR LIVES.  This is cause to rejoice.  We do not have to spend our lives waiting.  We do not need to look all over for a special tool to help us move forward, or a special moment when we can finally be blessed with understanding and awareness.
The Power to Change Our Own Lives Is in our Hands Every Moment of Every Day.

It is far better to use our time in this life appreciating the enlightenment that is completely embedded in our daily lives.  Our interactions with others, what we see, hear, feel, experience --- these are all part of our growing understanding and awareness of our connection to THIS EXPERIENCE, This NOW.  We don't have to wait for it - it is already here.  Always.

I encourage you to move away from the idea that there are two states of being:  unenlightened (where you think you are) and enlightened (where you think you want to be).  There is only a oneness of being --- which is already enlightened, which you must embrace by letting go of everything else. 

Moreover, it is even more important to recognize that there is not going to be a "magic wand" or "magic moment" that will transform you or your life.  In waiting for it to come, you will miss everything around you which is part of the enlightenment you need to accept in yourself.  Sadly, if you wait, you will miss the moment, and after all...

THERE ARE NO ORDINARY MOMENTS.

"They're All Perfect"

It's time for Ohanami (cherry blosson viewing).  Oh Yes.

This is the special time of year when all of Japan gets buzzing for the chance to see and enjoy cherry trees, the symbolic tree of Japan.  EVERYONE posts their favorite blossom pics on their FB profile, they make a point to go and see them in all conditions, rain or shine, day or night, warm or cold, for the few short weeks that they are here.  The TV news channels have real-time monitors of where they are blooming and when "peak bloom" will occur.  It is an all-encompassing few weeks in Japan that is one of the best parts of living here.

For many, it is simply an excuse to head out with friends and/or co-workers for drinking beers and sake.  For lovers, it is a romantic time (I vividly recall walking hand in hand with my wife in Ueno Park during the cherry blossom season in April 2000, deciding I wanted to marry her).

Why does Japan go so crazy about a bunch of trees??

Sakura as Mirrors of Ourselves
Most of the year, cherry trees are stark and lifeless.  They stick their fingers into the sky like ancient spider legs, poking at the sky in anger.  There is no color to them, and they look dead.  EXCEPT for the few weeks during the hanami season, when they explode in beautiful shades of pink and white, suspended in the air like fireworks.  It is hard to describe unless you have been to Japan to experience them.  Cherry trees are EVERYWHERE, so when they bloom, it is like God took his own special spray paint cans and colored the whole country in these warm, happy shades.  Our lives are not so different from this.  "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" (Henry David Thoreau).  Sometimes, however, we shine.  Everyone of us, in our own way, can be called beautiful sometimes.  It is this essential quality that makes us human --- the ability for each of us to have a unique beauty.  Sakura symbolize this and remind us to never judge, since the ugly barren tree today might tomorrow be the most beautiful tree of all.

One Moment In Time
We wait all year long for cherry blossom viewing time.  We suffer the long, cold winter, waiting for spring to finally arrive.  The best symbol of this is cherry blossom time, when we know in our hearts winter is over and we can look forward to the mild temperatures and active outdoors of spring and summer.  It is a time to rejoice.  Cherry blossoms only last for a few weeks at best.  Like us, they are fragile.  Strong winds, rain, or sudden cold patches can wipe them out.  Our lives are also short and subject to factors outside our control.  This reminds us to live in the moment and treasure it, never forgetting how precious and impermanent it is.

They Always Come Back
All too soon, the blossoms fall and are dispersed.  We see them fade away, washed away by rain or blown away by the wind, until there are none left.  Spring gives way to the hot summer, and the cicadas and rainy season.  After the fall leaves change color and we are back to winter.  Still, the cherry blossoms come back every year without fail.  We, too, will return.  Resurrection carries a specific religious meaning for many people, but it is simply spiritual to accept (and rejoice in) the fact that the soul is eternal, and our journey will continue after our physical body disappears.  This symbolism is in the cherry trees and is comforting.

They're All Perfect
In the movie "The Last Samurai", Katsumoto-san expresses the quintessential feeling of Japanese toward their beloved cherry trees:  "The perfect blossom is a rare thing. You could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life."  In the cherry trees we search for perfection, the true perfection that only Nature can bring, and not the artificial perfection of human creation.  We look for the same perfection in ourselves.  Finally, upon his death, he concludes "Perfect, they're all...perfect".  So, too, we are all perfect and part of Perfection.  The essence of zen is here. Now. In this Moment.  Forever.  Perfect.  Pure.

QUICK!  Enjoy them while you can!!

Exploring Jun Fan Trapping

In this cycle we are working on Jun Fan trapping.  Jun Fan is derived largely from Wing Chun, which is a Hakka style (Southern Chinese) derived from the White Crane lineage.  Such arts including Pak Mei, Kuntao, Wing Chun, and others offer a unique way of understanding combat that is very useful in modern day situations.  That said, most practitioners have trouble becoming confident in these concepts and applying the theories as they crossover into other CQB systems.
 
These arts have a lot in common, such as:

• Force directing down into opponent to destroy the structure (crane flies down the mountain)
• Punching forward into the chest/torso with elbows down and tuked in close to the body
• Rolling of the shoulders slightly forward to deploy the large back muscles for power
• extreme close quarters distancing -> every step forward into the opponent

If you attended Guro Fred's March seminar in Tokyo, you would have gotten a taste of serrada "close quarters" boxing.  This is an application of Inayan Serrada developed by Guro Fred to take advantage of the extreme close quarters range that is often found in trapping, and represents another example of branches which can be found from the Jun Fan trapping foundation.

Karambits
Last Friday we explored another interesting set of material.  Using the karambit, we did Jun Fan traps 1-5 and found that we can have great effect using almost the identical movements that we did using our empty hands.  Why?  Aren't Jun Fan and karambit (silat) completely different??  Yes, but also no.

Of course their martial traditions come from very different cultural sources.  That said, however, the In donesians were influenced by the Hakka Chinese in the same way as the Malays and Filipinos, and there is a strong fundamental connection between tem all.  Additionally, they both can and do operate at extreme close range, relying on trapping and misdirection to gain entry to the opponent's centerline/vital box.  I hope the similarities were not lost on the students.

Jun Fan into CQB Silat
Another interesting branch to the same tree can be found in following Jun Fan traps with Silat finishes.
While many KM students are more familiar with Silat being used for lowline sweeps and takedowns aimed at the knees/ankles/legs, Silat also includes a lot of elbows, knees, headbutts, neck cranks, and other close range weapons that fit well with the distancing of Jun Fan trapping.  many of the same principles apply:

• Get in quickly
• Tie-up opponent's primary weapons (arms)
• Stay inside the vital box/Keep opponent outside the vital box
• Attack the structure/Weaken the base

This Friday we will see what can be done up-close as we branch off from the Jun Fan trapping series into CQB Silat. I hope the students will find this challenge equally interesting.  SEE YOU FRIDAY. 

Cups of Water

Life and Death are big topics to a ten-year old.  Maybe too big.  When George's great-grandmother died last month he was very upset.  This was worsened by the fact that he was asked to attend the funeral service - a Japanese funeral service - and everything that involves.  I struggled to find a way to explain it to him.  I found two ideas.  One idea is that we do what we do for people who died out of RESPECT.  Even though we may be nervous, uncomfortable, or scared, we try to do the best we can for them to send them off properly; respectfully.  The other idea I came upon is the subject of this post - cups of water.

I explained to George that we human beings are not really what we see when we look with our eyes.  To our eyes, we see the body.  To me, this is the cup.  Our soul, the essence of us, is like the water inside the cup.  Cups, like people, come in all colors, shapes and sizes.  The important thing is that they are just vessels for holding the important stuff: the water.  Inside the cups, all the water is the same - so, too, all people are the same.  No water is better or worse than any other water.  They are indistinguishable.  Since there is no separation they cannot be counted.  There is not "one water" or "two waters", only "WATER".  When the cup breaks the water re-unites with all the other water at The Source.  The Source is an endless cycle and recycle of water throughout our world.  Water is infinite, just as our souls are infinite. The majority of our body is water (60% or so). I want to believe the majority of what we are is our soul as well.  Without water we cannot live.  Without our souls, we are not truly alive, either.

A terrible mistake is to look at the cup and think it is the water.  This cannot be so.

The cup is only the cup, and the water merely conforms to its shape.  It is very important when we look at the cup to imagine the water it contains; the water which is just like the water in our cup, too.

To take the analogy further, pure water is pure because it is kept clean and regularly filtered.  To me, this is our training and mediation, the charcoal for our water which keeps it pure and ensures it will not stagnate.  It is important to cleanse our water often to keep it clear and pure.  If we do not, it becomes foul and poisonous to the environment around it.  Do not allow your water (or your soul) to become polluted.

When I meet people, I will appreciate their cup, but never so much that I fail to recognize the water within.

Storytelling

(Thanks for the inspiration Jeremy)



Riding back from class last night we started telling stories.  For me, many of the trappings in my life have a story attached to them.  This includes my class ring (great story), my chain and bracelet set, my watch, my wedding ring (of course) and many other things.  Each time I look at them, I am reminded of some important event in my life.

As our lives go on, day by day, we are writing the story of ourselves.  We have to ask "what kind of story will it be?"  As authors of our own story, we have the freedom to choose.  This is the most important point of living.  Give any two people a pen and paper and have them watch the same thing.  You will get two different accounts of what happened.  This is what makes history unreliable.  It is also what makes history fascinating.  Real history is the history of PEOPLE.  The story is always told from the standpoint of the storyteller, and includes only the things that storyteller thought were meaningful.

For some people, the story of them is always heartbreaking and sad.  When you talk to them, the only stories they can give you are stories of what went wrong; of what tragedies they faced; of the despair they felt; of the failures they experienced.  While we can sympathize for awhile, at some point those stories don't do much for us.  There is no lesson in them, and hearing the stories makes us feel bad.

For others in the same circumstances, the same events bring stories of hope.  They bring stories of accomplishment; of joy; of overcoming adversity.  These stories inspire us and give us courage to face our own challenges.  Every good story has challenges.  Our hero or heroine must face hardship, but ultimately their will and strength of character prevails.  Along the way they do things that even they thought were impossible.  There are failures and setbacks, of course, but each one leads to another insight and a new approach to progress.  We cheer for our protagonist as they take each step. We learn from them and become more in touch with ourselves.

In the end, I wish everyone a life filled with rich stories, and the insight to make those stories the kind that are worth telling over and over again.  I hope for a Book of Life filled with adventure, love, fellowship, community, success, satisfaction, family, laughter, redemption.   I WANT A STORY WORTH READING.

Don't you?

Resistance is Futile

Resistance is futile.  That's what The Borg say, anyway.  Despite this, the Enterprise continues to resist --- successfully even, despite their many setbacks.  It is in our human nature to aspire to prevail.  However, there are two sides to this story, and one must ultimately consider "what are we resisting?"

Today at swim class, Yamada-coach talked about resistance.  He talked about not fighting the water.  We must co-operate with it to allow ourselves to pass through.  This means always "thinking forward" (a lesson in and of itself), relaxing the body(again, a lesson in and of itself), and removing resistance to the water.  By doing so, we pass smoothly and effortlessly, and go the maximum distance with the minimum effort (efficiency).
In hearing this, I began to consider whether or not mental resistance plays a factor in swimming.

We can consider two types of resistance to our progress through the water and, in fact, our progress through life:  resistance of the body and resistance of the mind.  resistance of the body is the inability to relax.  It is any muscle tension which prohibits us from moving freely and expends energy needlessly and wastefully.  Indeed, we should apply only that energy which is needed for a particular task, not more and not less.  This is efficient.  In the pool, this means streamlining our motion to reduce drag and pushing the water directly behind us, neither up nor down.  In the dojo it means keeping the body relaxed until the moment of impact (kime).

At the same time, our state of mind can also cause resistance.  We allow our preconception of situations and people to create our reality, and in doing so lose the possibility of viewing things with a child's mind, an open mind ready and willing to accept new ways, ideas, concepts and beliefs.  This limits our human experience and narrows our abilities.  It is inefficient.

In our training, we should focus on removing resistance whenever possible.  This means allowing our mind and body to remain relaxed, and to allow our natural flexibility in human interactions, problem solving and, yes, in combat as well.  Removing resistance is one important key to improving FLOW, both on and off the mat.  What are you resisting?  Is your resistance mental?  Physical? Both??  How can you remove this resistance?

Resistance is Futile.  Especially when your goal is success.  Think about it.   

Teacher and Student

Master and Student.  The relationship is as old as time itself.  Over the past 30 years in and around martial arts I have seen many permutations.  I have been a deshi (disciple) to two masters, and over time have become an instructor myself, although people calling me "sensei" still seems a bit out of place.  I am yet to reach the level of "guro" in FMA, but I do my best to impart the essence of what my current master, Guro Fred Evrard, teaches in the curriculum of Kali Majapahit.

Most Westerners look with either awe or disdain at the master/student relationship. 

We see movies like Karate Kid which show both sides: the evil master with his fanatical cult of followers who aspire to oppress the weak, but also the kindly master who teaches the underdog the true meaning of the martial arts and helps him find the strength in himself to overcome hardship and achieve victory.

This relationship has some implicit responsibilities for both parties.  For the student, it involves coming to class regularly, on time and prepared, with clean uniform and open mind.  It means giving 100% effort in every class to try to learn the skills and lessons the master gives.  It means trying to experience first, rather than just immediately questioning things which are not readily apparent.  It also means not being afraid to question in order to help find the deeper meaning which the master intends.

For the master, this relationship means teaching regularly, being on time and prepared for every class, with clean uniform and clean intention, teaching the class with passion and energy, and caring first and foremost about the students' progression rather than about glorifying yourself.  It means being a good role model on and off the mats, and being careful never to abuse the enormous trust the students place in you.

The giving/receiving nature of this relationship has as its foundation a mutual respect between master and student.  This is why we bow.  Without the master, the student cannot find his way.  Without the student, the master's knowledge cannot continue past his own mortality.

Not every relationship between master and student results in discipleship, which will be the subject of another post.  However, both master and student should have no preconception of an end result, but rather allow the relationship to develop naturally, just as every relationship does between two people.

My own master shows me things I already know.  He reminds me to be true to the path, giving me ocassional glimpses of what lies ahead, and is always an example of what I can be if I do not give up --- if I continue to heed his teaching, continue to train diligently and let myself become a better person.  He is not just a better warrior, he is my spiritual guide, my mentor, and my "life coach" as I seek the path to my own happiness.

This relationship is a sacred one and should remain so.  Both parties have a role to play and a responsibility to each other.  This balance is Yin/Yang and in accordance with the traditional Asian view of things --- two parts forming a whole.  

Trained and Determined

There are many ways to try to quantify the uncertainty of what happens in a violent encounter.  One way I use to explain is via the phrase "trained and determined".


Trained and Determined has several aspects.  First of all, we have to look at ourselves, which is the part of the equation we can control.  Being traing and determined means that we have received proper training.  Not just a knowledge of technique, but also training to develop appropriate reflex and response, manage stress, use psychology, have a sense of caution, and physical conditioning, In short, we have developed every aspect of ourselves as warriors.  Secondly is determination.  This means our commitment to being someone who survives an encounter.  It means not giving up - knowing there is always something that can be done.  It means developing a confident mentality and willpower that allow us to do whatever is needed to realistically assess and ultimately overcome the situation.

The other half of the equation which we cannot control are these attributes in our attacker.  While many systems assume an untrained attacker, it is always wise to accept that someone willing to attack you might have training at least equal to your own.  There is a big difference between a bar brawler and an MMA cage fighter (or skilled CIA field agent).  In our training this means exploring the highest percentage reversals/counters of our techniques and training to flow when things go wrong.  It also includes continuing to develop our knowledge through practicing with people of diverse martial backgrounds.

Determination is the second factor.  As I wrote in other posts, often the attacker's primary motivation is not harm you or kill you.  It is to get your property or money, to show they are not intimidated, or to express their anger or fear.  These need not be life-threatening results.  By contrast, a determined attacker (jealous husband/wife or suicide bomber, for example) may be unwilling to accept anything less than your injury or death.  In such cases, we have no choice but to respond as needed to protect our safety or the safety of those around us.  In this case, being proactive is completely justified.

Poorly trained assailants make mistakes.  In the case of Twiggy Fromme, for example, failing to charge the slide of her Colt 1911 .45 auto meant that President Ford survived her attempt to assassinate him.  The successful assassination of President Kennedy, by contrast, shows what can happen when an attacker is both trained and determined.

Lack of determination (or lack of training, for that matter) help us a lot, but can never be relied upon.  We must assume until proven otherwise, that any attack on us is done by a skilled attacker with the express intent of causing us bodily harm and train accordingly.  Hopefully none of us will ever be in this situation.  

In the meantime, how well "trained and determined" are you??

Self Defense For Women

In my previous post I highlighted some ways that violent offenders make fights unfair for their victims.  Often this extends to choosing women as targets either directly (rape or domestic abuse) or indirectly (muggings or robbery).  The fact is that even in peak physical condition most women are not the physical equals of men.




Not intending to restate the obvious here:

• smaller height and weight
• smaller primary muscle groups
• socialization against violence
• helpless or weak "victim" mindset
• inappropiate dress for defense (short skirts, handbags, etc.)

In my previous post I listed many factors that help in a real self-defense situation.
For women, I would add even more:

proper choice of weapon
In general I don't recomment punching with the fist to any of my students (male or female).  Although we learn this in our boxing, the chance of injury to the hand is higher than using the open hand or hammerfist to strike.  For women, I suggest the fingernails when attacking soft targets like eyes or throat. Adding regular layers of nail strengthener can develop the claws' hardness to be very effective weapons.  Kicking the low lines (especially foot stomp or low kick with heels) and CQB weapons like headbutt, elbows, and knees otherwise.  While high heels can compromise the balance a bit, one of my former students in Chicago backkicked an assailant with her heel and it was as effective as stabbing with a knife. 

proper choice of target
The most effective targets for women are eyes, throat, knees/feet and groin.
Of these, the groin needs some further explanation.  Striking the groin, especially the proverbial "kick in the balls" is often touted as a one shot stop.  This is hardly true.
It can work, yes, but needs to be spot on or it may only enrage the attacker.  As a man, I can say that the fight goes up a few notches when someone aims for my balls.  I get mad, and I want to completely destroy anyone who tries that on me and fails.  This means it is a high risk, high reward strategy.  If you miss, you have a much more serious fight on your hands.  In addition, every man who has any experience at all knows to protect his groin.  It is usually not an easily available target.

The best option for the groin is the grab.  I suggest the palm heel hit, followed by grab, twist and pull.  This has the highest chance of success and can work if attacker is in front or behind (bearhug or rear choke).  Grabbing the groin causes a shock reaction in the mammalian part of the male brain that is more effective as a deterrent than a strike.

proper choice of technique
I resiterate here that simple is best.  Eye jabs, throat hits, groin grabs, low line kicks to knees or top of the foot, knees/elbows/headbutts all have their place in women's self defense.  Attacks which immobilize, such as low kicks or stomps, also can be effective since the goal is to escape the situation.  I am not a huge fan of locks and grappling for women since most of the time they will lose on the ground, and proper locking under stress requires a lot of practice to be effective under pressure.

Weapons
There are some choices for women, given that they often carry handbags or purses.  It is important to consider that it is not easy to draw a weapon under pressure, so it is best to have something which can be carried innocuously (such as kubotan key chain, dulo dulo or the like).  I am personally not a huge fan of pepper sprays or stun guns, since there are plenty of stories of violent offenders who shrug these off and complete their assault.  The heavy key chain is a good option since they keys add weight to punches and can be used to slash.  An umbrella can also work if it is a solid heavy metal one.
Likewise, a heavy metal travel mug or thermos can be effective, too.  A solid pen
or the classy Montblanc version can work well, too.

I don't advocate carrying knives or karambits, although this is surely better than being killed/raped.  Likewise, guns are a no-no in my books, despite their effectiveness in the hands of a trained and determined user.

Sadly, women are often targets of violent crime.  Good training, good mindset, and an "equalizer" or two can help make sure you or your better half walks away safely.

Practical Reality

Let's talk reality.  Have a look at this...
(thanks to http://www.pragmaticmartialarts.com/  for the video)

OK...training in the dojo can never be exactly what we would experience on the street.
For premeditated attacks such as muggings, rapes, and the like, the attacker will usually stack the odds as high as possible in their favor (wouldn't you?).  Nobody likes a fair fight except the victim.  This means:

• choosing places with bad (or no) lighting
• choosing places not visible with security cameras
• choosing unstable terrain such as narrow alleys or hallways, stairs, elevators, etc.
• attacking from a concealed position by ambush
• attacking from the rear or rear side angles rather than the front
• attacking in small groups of two or three assailants per victim
• using weapons
• using surprise or deception to lure victims

Every one of the above lowers your chance of success as a victim.  While sparring can have some place in preparing for the reality of violent assault, what really saves your life in such situations is:

overcoming automatic stress and fear responses
our natural "fight or flight" response is part of our lower brain and evolved to help us survive predation.  Automatic release of adrenaline helps give us the burst of speed/strength we need in such situations.  Sadly, the downside is that this is a short-term benefit which comes at the cost of a loss of fine motor skills and clear, rational thinking.  Mastery of the response can give a lot of benefit by using this energy to help overcome the ambush attack.  For most people, lack of proper training causes this response to become panic and inaction, the classic "deer in the headlights" problem.

physical conditioning
This is simply not an option.  To better your chances of survival you need to be in the best physical condition you can.  While most real fights do not last 15 rounds, the stress can sap your strength very fast indeed.  When your batteries run dry, you are finished.  No matter how good your technique is, poor conditioning means a poor outcome.  I have yet to see any champion fighter step in any ring successfully without good physical conditioning.

muscle memory
You will do what you drill.  Complex drills are good to help break down mental walls and rewire ourselves for the benefit of ambidexterity and to create fluency in our empty hand and weapon techniques.  This, however, must be balanced with constant drilling of very simple techniques so that they become automated responses under stress.  Very important here are the specific movements you drill.  If you drill cutting people's throats with the karambit, this is what will happen under stress, and is frequently used to villify martial artists in courtrooms when they are sued by the survivor's family.  I suggest drilling the footwork heavily, since this makes a huge difference already.  I also suggest drilling defensive responses like elbow cover and head management since these need not be lethal responses.  Low line kicks are another useful muscle memory since they are non-lethal, but can really devastate an attacker when used correctly.  I love weapon drills as much (or more) as anyone, but cannot honestly suggest drilling these into muscle memory.  The risk of using excessive force is just too high.

simple techniques
Complex techniques are fun and challenging.  They help us to get a deeper understanding of spatial awareness, and frankly, it is cool to do them.  Honestly, these are not what will come out under stress.  It will be the simple movements that work and that save you.  As mentioned above, fine motor skills suffer under stress and complex techniques include many variables that will not always work in the heat of the moment.
KISS - keep it short and simple.  Fast, direct, simple technique is what really works.  No, these are not pretty, graceful or elegant.  They are...effective.

awareness of your surroundings
If you review the list at the top, you can quickly see that a lot of benefit can be gained from avoiding those places where ambushes are likely to occur.  When this is not possible, such as getting your car from the parking garage, be on alert that these are high percentage places for attack and act with caution.  Go in groups and be prepared.
It goes without saying that some blame is due to victims who lack common sense and wander dark alleys late at night steaming drunk.  It is wrong to say they are asking for trouble, but not wrong to suggest they are more likely targets of it.

proper use of individual and group pyschology
Luckily, in most attacks, causing injury or death is not the primary objective.
The attacker(s) want your wallet, your pride, or sex.  The violence is a means to an end.
My wallet is not worth dying (or killing) for, and yours should not be either. The schoolyard bully example is an appropriate one in that the bully looks to prey on a weaker opponent, and usually the first bloody nose is enough to get him to seek another weaker victim.  Attackers stack the odds, but also do not want someone to fight back.
Making it clear by your confident body language and posture that you are not a victim can often serve to cause attackers to choose another target.  While I am a strong advocate of ethical self-defense, this is a secondary consideration for me when I am ambushed.  I need to get out alive, and if that means serious harm to the attacker(s) then so be it.  In a group situation this means doing as much damage as fast as possible to the nearest attacker in order to give pause to the others.  I don't expect to always win in such a situation, but I will choose to go out swinging and making sure the winners know they are getting the best fight I can give.

There is no 100% success on the street.  It is at best chaotic and unpredictable and at worst unforgiving and unfair.  Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar (and most likely trying to sell you something).  At best we train to increase our odds of survival, and hope we never have to find out.

That said, good training and a good mindset helps a lot.

Ratio-nality

Let's talk about ratios - rational ratios.

This is that holiday time of year.  A time when most people forego any kind of sensible habits in favor of enjoying the holidays to their fullest.  December into January (in fact 4Q overall is pretty dangerous health-wise) is filled with year-end and New Year's eve parties.  On top of that it is a bit chilly for getting outside and exercizing.  Many people start the New Year with a few extra pounds to shed, and a fair amount of detox required to get back to the already poor health they were in after Thanksgiving's gorge-fest.

I strongly recommend people try to follow a ration of 95:5 for their diet where 95% of the time they eat meals which are whole-foods plant based.  The other 5% of the time eating anything they like.  Of course, 100:0 is the best ratio and a great target to have, but unrealistic for most of us.  This would mean that for 21 meals a week, only 1 of them would (should) contain processed foods or animal products in it.  This is an optimal balance that will yield the best possible health benefits.

There is a famous study done by a nutritionist who lost a lot of weight eating only twinkies.  Yes, twinkies.  Before I get a lot of fools sending me mails on this, read the article.  He is a professor who did the test on himself to research calorie counting (which works).  HE DOES NOT recommend it to anyone, and neither do I.  People lose weight through meth addiction as well, and I don't suggest that as a successful strategy either.

Even without being mathematical about it, simply trying your best to make every meal healthy whenever possible makes a big difference.  I often see people show a lot of restraint when out to dinner with family, friends, co-workers/clients.  They make a big deal out of saying "Oh, I am trying to lose weight/eat healthy".  In fact, rather than cause discomfort at the table, it would be far better for that person to be very healthy every meal they eat alone or at home.  Then, when they go out, they need not stress about eating what they want or what others are having.

Since most of us eat breakfast at home (or should, anyway) , this is a great place to start.  Give up bacon/sausage/eggs/milk/coffee.  Instead try for 3 months to eat only whole, plant-based foods --- fruits and naturally sweetened fruit juices.  If you like yogurt, go Greek/plain unsweetened and top with fruit or fruit puree if desired.  For hot breakfasts, try oatmeal with fruit on top.  Drink unsweetened Chinese tea/Japanese green tea or water instead of coffee or sweetened drinks.  In three months I promise you a huge difference right there.

The next meal to go after is lunch.  I typically prepare a nice big salad and take it into work.  If it seems not enough, bring a bigger one.  For undressed salads, you can eat as much as you want.  Choose low calorie dressings and be minimal so you can enjoy the lovely taste of your veggies.  I am also a big fan of veggi dips such as hummus, and often pack those with whole grain flatbreads for dipping.  The classic Japanese combo of rice, miso soup, pickles/kimchi, tofu always does me right and offers a lot of variety especially if I have a small salad with it.

Try to eat such kinds of healthy lunches whenever you are not obliged to go out with co-workers or clients.  After you have conquered breakfast (give yourself 3 months to get the habits set) start working on lunch by picking one day a week (such as Monday) and making that "salad day".  After a week or two to adjust, add another day.  The another.
In 3 months you should have your routine set to healthy whole foods, plant-based breakfasts and lunches every day.  This is already 2/3 or your meal intake and a fantastic adjustment to better health.  The last step is preparing quick, healthy dinners at home anytime you are not obliged to eat out.

By following the above, you can get to the proper guideline ratio and greatly improve your health.  Not doing so increases your exposure you to the modern killers of our time:  heart disease, cancer, diabetes.  All of these are directly linked; scientifically linked, to consumption of animal products and processed foods.

One of the most important goals is to get to a ratio that lets you avoid feeling guilt over anything you eat or drink.  If 95% of the time you are eating whole foods, plant based meals, the other 5% will not do you any noticeable harm.  The counter argument is also true.  If 95% of the time you eat highly processed animal products, the 5% of the time you decide to have a Caesar salad will not save you from modern society's lethal diseases or give you greater longevity.

Choose Life.

Happy Holidays!

Low Down

Today our training group starts the new cycle.  In cycle 2, we will be working on Sikaran, kicking, specifically the low kick.

This is one of my favorite techniques.  Done correctly, it combines devastating power with fast deployment and is very difficult to block when thrown full power.  On the street, this can be all it takes to end the fight, and can succeed even when thrown into the thigh rather than destroying the knee joint (which can cause permanent damage).
The low kick can be done with either leg.

Tactically, the low kick is very useful for helping to drop the opponent's guard and opening up the higher lines by drawing the attention to these painful kicks.  Not much hip flexibility is required, and the large muscles of the legs can do a lot more damage than punching.

The keys to executing the low kicks well are:

correct distance --- achieved by use of the set-up step to adjust range
correct power --- achieved by proper base leg placement and hip rotation
correct counterbalance --- achieved by using the hands to keep balance during rotation
correct focus --- following the kick through the target past the opponent's leg
correct angle --- striking perpendicular to the target rather than angled

This kick can be delivered to the inside or outside of the opponent's legs, and when usinbg the full step can even be used to attack the opponent's rear or base leg, which is particularly effective (called "cut kicking").  The principal targets for this attack are the knee, the thigh, and the sciatic nerve found on the outside seam of the pant leg.

I especially like attacks to the sciatic nerve since a strong direct hit can result in knockout, which is high effectiveness for a leg attack.  Even a proximity hit to the sciatic line can cause numbness and loss of sensation in the limb, which can be enough to finish the fight.  a quick look on youtube will reveal examples of how effective these can be.

Rather than being a headhunter, which looks cool in movies but is risky on the street, low line kicks offer a great weapon for men or women, can be learned relatively quickly, and have devastating effect when used correctly.  Their usefulness should not be ignored.

See you in class.

Pugs and the Art of Visualization

This is a pug.
We have one, too, named Butch.

The other night Butch was laying on top of my chest sleeping and dreaming about a big, delicious bone, or whatever pugs dream about.  He felt heavy.

An adult pug weighs between 8 and 10 kg.  Butch weighs about 8.7kg as of his last visit to the vet.  That's when it struck me --- the amount of weight I lost after losing my job is only slightly more than this adult pug on my lap.
I used to walk around with an extra 8.7 kg (more, actually) of meat on me!  Suddenly I felt shocked.  It was a concrete way of visualizing what I had lost through diet, exercize, and stress management.  An adult pug.  MY pug.  I felt very good about my results so far, and motivated to keep going until I hit my desired weight (about another half-pug to go!)

Numbers on their own mean very little - it is when we give them context that they start to become important information.  How much weight would you like to lose to be at your ideal body size and shape?  Can you find a proxy in the physical world to refer to? (hopefully not an adult Indian elephant or polar bear!)  This kind of exercize can really help you set your goals and realize what those numbers actually mean.  It is important not to use this exercize to become discouraged or depressed.  Rather, it puts a realism to how hard it is to go through our daily routine when we are overweight, even by 5kg or so.

Proper visualization is an essential part of success.  What do YOU use?

Blank Canvas

Blank canvas can be awfully hard to fill.

Friday I tested our group on what they have learned in this cycle.  We filmed their work on sinawali 2-6 with double sticks, sinawali 2-6 entry and application in kadena de mano, and sinawali 2-6 applications in panantukan.

Overall the test was good, and I can see strong foundations in their basics for all three areas.

For kadena de mano, I had them begin with each entry 2-6 and then find their own solutions and follow ups to create several examples of flow.  This proved a bit more challenging than just repeating the techniques they learned from rote memory. 

Now, given a blank canvas, you must CREATE.

This is at once the most difficult yet most important aspect of FMA in general, and of Kali Majapahit in particular.  I have referenced this point in numerous other posts, but I feel I have to again go back again to how central this is to the process of learning Filipino Martial Arts the way we teach it.

This is the reason Kali Majapahit has empassioned me since the first day I saw it.

This is the reason I will do FMA for the rest of my life.

To really do FMA, we must express ourselves fully in the moment through our techniques.  It has to do with everything from which specific blocks/hits/locks/takedowns we use, to where we position our bodies, to even our mental attitude and focus.  We express it all, unified in each moment.  It is and must be the feeling of being truly alive and alert with every sense of our being.

Not only is this hardly taught at all in any other systems, and when it is taught it is usually for 5th dan black belts and above, it is the essence of everything we want to achieve as FMA practitioners.  It is so important that students start learning it even in the basic curriculum. Without it, we are just going through the motions and following the katas.  Without expression and flow, FMA becomes hollow, shallow, empty.

We grow, we learn, we change.  Our flow must grow, learn, change over time.  We become different people as we evolve and our expression must also change, grow, adapt, mature --- evolve.  This process is so beautiful that to ignore it is to lose all sense of the spiritual nature of our practice.  Sadly, without this we are just doing glorified aerobics.  Without this, we fail to reire our brains and to use the arts as a way of evolving ourselves as people.  This is the self-actualization, the peak of A.H. Maslow's heirarchical pyramid of human needs. 

At the same time, this is the most difficult part of the training.  We need to learn to let go of the intellectual understanding of our techniques, since we cannot intellectualize fast enough to respond fully in the moment.  We have to become empty ("mushin" in Japanese) and let our bodies FLOW and express our spirit through our motion.  We have to allow ourselves to be limitless --- beyond inside, outside, high line, low line, center line, palusot, punch, kick.  All of this must become automatic and instinctive.  This is why FMA training is harder than anything else.  There can be no compromise in developing your own unique flow and expression.  In a nutshell, FMA can be nothing more, but cannot be anything less.  Flow and expression.

In training, we are forced to find solutions despite any limitation placed on us.  This helps to get the expression to go beyond standard thinking and rote memory.  The more we explore, the more we find, the more we grow.  This cycle is a centerpiece of the training.

As a teacher, it is the greatest challenge not only to get students to understand how vital the ideas of Flow and Expression are in FMA, but to find the best way of guiding the students to developing their own flows and expressions.  I struggle with this and am always searching for new drills to help them break through their own barriers and limitations.

To My Students:  This is ALL ABOUT YOU.

My goal for you all is to find your own flow and your own beautiful expression in Kali Majapahit.  I want each of you to be the best martial artist you can be, fully "martial" and fully "artist", and to make the canvas of your lives your own personal masterpiece.  The dojo is where we practice it, and daily life is where we live it and reap its reward.

Let's never stop training together.  

Solar Powered

We are all solar powered.  I mean it.  Our human relationship with the sun is one of the most important, and most abused, relationships in our lives.  At times we are afraid of it, and at others we overdose on it.  At the end of it all, we need the sun to be happy and healthy, and if we use it correctly it is one of the most important resources in our lives.

Unfortunately, humans do not produce energy through photosynthesis the way plants do.  However, we are designed to use sunlight in other important ways.

Proper exposure of our skin surface to sunshine (UVB) is the principal way we get Vitamin D. Vitamin D, or more specifically a lack of vitamin D, is a major contributor to several forms of cancer, as well as heart disease, osteoporosis, and a host of other ailments including depression.  Sunshine is free and thus big food companies cannot sell it to you at a profit.  It is for this reason that most people have been misled into thinking that any exposure to sunlight is harmful. Not true.

Fashion magazines promote a sallow, pale, deathly unhealthy skin tone rather than a healthy natural glow from sunshine.  The cosmetics industry wants us to spend a fortune to protect ourselves from something we actually need very badly.  Dairy Board tries to convince you that disgusting cow's milk is better than natural, free sunlight for getting vitamin D. Big Pharma tries to sell us supplements for something we can easily get faster and more efficiently FOR FREE.  Don't even get me started on tanning beds.  Yeesh.

A mere 10-15 minutes per day of sunlight exposure on our skin is enough for most of us to produce the vitamin D we need to be healthy (darker skinned people will need two or three times as much).  This also helps us develop a positive mental attitude and avoid depression.

Too much of any good thing becomes a bad thing, so if you plan on being in direct sunlight longer than an hour or so (such as going to the beach), it is worth staying in the shade or using sunscreen to avoid sunburn or sunstroke.  Sunburn is a leading factor in skin cancer, which is more common than it should be.

My personal favorite was to get out of the office whenever possible at lunchtime for a 10-15 minutes walk out to buy a bento or, when that wasn't possible, to sneak out for an afternoon stroll once the markets were closed.  This was always enough for me to refresh myself and come back energized.

Vitamin D is important, and drinking cow's milk is a foolish way to try to get it.

"here comes the sun

here comes the sun and I say

It's all right."

 - The Beatles "Abbey Road" (1969)      

45

well, here I am.  45 years old today (hence the picture of a Colt .45).  It has been a helluva year, hasn't it?

This morning I had breakfast surrounded by my wife and children, and couldn't be happier.

I am much healthier than last year, and in addition to managing my diet (mostly vegetarian/vegan), swimming and running, training harder in Kali, and becoming less angry all the time I think I am finally reaching a lasting happiness in my life.

There were many down points this year, too.  My father died at 90 years old, which makes me sad, but I am also glad for him to leave this world behind and take the next step in his soul's journey.  He taught me a lot through his life, and more still through his death.
He lived pretty stress-free, even until the end.  He did what he wanted, when he wanted and was beholden to no one except at the very end. He made no apologies for who and how he was, and always kept it simple.  In dying, he chose when to let go, and kept as much dignity as any of us could hope for in such a time.  He passed knowing we loved him.  If I do as well when my time comes someday, it will be more than enough.

I still don't have a job, and it has been one year now that I am out of work.  Initially, my pride made this very painful.  Over time, it has helped me understand that I AM NOT MY JOB.  I am not my business cards, my college degrees or my career choices.  I am my family, and the returns that really matter come not from my investment in the markets, but from my investment in my marriage and in my children.  These are the dividends and value which will sustain me through every downswing in my life.  This is real wealth, and by this measure I am rich and always will be.  This year has taught me to really appreciate the balance between work and life and to pay full attention to them both.

At 45 I am still learning, and proud of the fact that my desk has a big stack of books on it, 9 of them, actually.  I have a lot to do, but this is not the stress of urgency - it is the motivation of purposefulness.  I hope I can keep learning and growing for the rest of my life.  My quest to become a better person continues, unrelenting.

What are my goals?  What do I expect to write about next year at 46?

1) LOVE MORE --- make sure those around me know how important they are to me
2) SHARE MORE --- people love each other through participation. Don't be afraid to share both good and bad.  The good makes us happy, the bad makes us stronger.
3) GIVE MORE --- give of my time, my knowledge, my experience, my spirit, my resources to those who need it.
4) NO STRESS --- we cannot change the outside, so we must change the inside.  Change the way you view the world and you change the world itself.
5) LET GO --- so much of life is about understanding what to keep and what to let go.  Keep the positive, let go the negative. Think about this in every circumstance.
6) BE HERE NOW --- enjoy every moment for what it is.  Never wish to be anywhere else except where you are at each moment.  Experience life fully.  Squeeze out every last drop.
7) BE MORE YOU --- use this journey to explore yourself.  Never want to be anyone else, but rather to become more "you" than you have ever been.  Find your good qualities and amplify them.  Take your bad qualities and change them.  Change yourself, change the world.
8) NO COMPROMISE --- never settle for anything less than the best for important things.  Let go of trivial details for everything else.  Focus 100% on what matters and waste no time on that which does not.
9) LISTEN --- open your ears, mind, heart, and soul to those around you.  Listen with your whole being and you will be successful.
10) TREASURE IT --- we each have one life, one precious life. Use it wisely. Revel in this chance to grow.  Have no regrets.

In 45 years I have made several lifetimes of mistakes already.  I regret none of them, for they brought me here; to this place, this time, this understanding.  I am very hopeful as I look forward to the upcoming year.  Please share it with me.