Black is the New Black

It was a great weekend, long awaited.  Five of my students, many who had been with me from Day 1, tested for their Kadua Guro (1st degree black belt) ranking in Kali Majapahit this past weekend.  As their teacher, their guide, their friend and brother, I couldn't be more proud.  To date, every single black belt in our system (including me) has been personally tested by the founder, Punong Guro Fred Evrard, to meet his exacting standards of excellence.

As per the KM website, there are only 32 active black belts in Kali Majapahit worldwide (now 37).  It is an elite brotherhood of experts committed to making themselves, each other and the world a better place.  We focus on martial arts, health, and personal development as the key areas of growth we use to achieve success in our lives on our own terms.  We share this method with everyone regardless of race, creed, color, nationality or social status.  All are welcome to join our family. We are all ONE. We are all connected.

The test is very difficult.  It usually is done over a weekend, and includes a written test as well as a practical exam.  KM black belts need to recertify every two years minimum to retain their ranks.
The physical part is formidable, including single/double stick flows, empty hand from all subsystems, boxing/kickboxing and knife defense.  Testers are pushed to their physical limits and beyond to see if they can find the willpower and determination to continue even when they are exhausted.

The test always includes "the Circle", where the each tester is put in the center of a ring of other students and black belts who assist.  Again and again they must fend off any kind of attack, including stick, knife, empty hand and continue to do so until told to stop.  It is an incredibly high-stress experience.  Later, they do boxing/kickboxing sparring with a sequence of opponents as their energy gets drained away...shaken, they continue on for nearly two solid hours.

Despite the stress and pressure all the testers performed well and got extremely positive feedback.  More importantly, even under stress they responded WITH CONTROL, and no major injuries occurred.  Rather than passively waiting for attackers to attack, each tester proactively engaged them, controlled the situation, and ended the encounter decisively.  As their instructor, I was convinced in a real self-defense scenario, these men would have been able to defend themselves and their loved ones from harm.  Forged in fire, they earned their black shirts.

Throughout their time as Kasama (assistant instructors), they have demonstrated leadership and maturity, and it has been a pleasure to see them advance their careers, find partners, start their families, and deepen their relationships with the people around them.  They shine brightly, and I like to believe their martial arts has given them confidence to be more...THEM.

Some have said that the martial arts is a lonely path, a lifetime struggle against ourselves to overcome our weaknesses, our limitations, and our doubts.  Instead, this group has shown that it is a fellowship, a brotherhood, a FAMILY that connects us and inspires us, that supports us and encourages us to be our best and to push past our old selves into new growth and awareness.  We are at once both learners and teachers.  More importantly, we smile, laugh, joke and HAVE FUN.  It is not enough to survive; we must THRIVE and prosper.  We do.

It has been a great honor to guide these Kadua Guros to this milestone in their journeys, and I have learned as much from them as they have from me.  Together we have built a strong Kali family here in Tokyo, where everyone is welcome to come and better themselves.

I ("We") will see you on the mats.

Pugay Po.

What Can I do?

Life can be very hard.  These days it seems especially so, somehow much more complex and difficult than it was when I was a kid (and my childhood was far from easy).  We are so, so busy and it seems we can never catch up on our to-do lists, our bills and on all the other various things we wish we had time to do.  Despite technological progress we seem to be expected to always be available to answer work emails, jump on early morning/late night calls or go on business trips (economy class, of course).  TV and media makes us think we should have...well...more.  Several times this month my commute was delayed due to someone committing suicide by jumping in front of a train (last night someone even did that for the Shinkansen, a fast bullet train).  Sadly, they average one per day in Japan.

Beyond this, many people suffering from depression, or even the earliest symptoms of it, say that they feel a deep, unsettling loss of control.  There is a despair and hopelessness that comes from feeling there is nothing you can do about all that is going on.  You are a receiver; a victim.  You might think "there's nothing I can do about it".  Yes, ultimately control is an illusion.  However, our state of mind is very, very real.

Many people you meet focus on what they can't do.  It's a constant litany of denial for everything and everyone.  "I can't get a better job", "I can't write a book or anything like that", "I can't look as good as him/her", "I can't afford it"... the list goes on and on, rooted in negativity.  This thinking closes our minds to the possibility of another method or another outcome being acceptable.  We set unrealistic standards (or allow them to be set on us) and then complain that we can't achieve them.  Before long we stop even trying.  We give up.

Another interpretation of the phrase "what can I do?" focuses on the "I" part.  It highlights the seeming insignificance of our individuality, meaning "I'm just one person, what can I do?"  We can think of so many cases where success or failure was dependent on the actions of an individual.  Where each individual collectively made a difference.  Without individuals there cannot be groups or teams.  Even on our own, we have the power to influence and shape our world, if only we choose to exercise it.  The greatest people in history were not born to it - they stepped up as individuals and made success happen rather than waiting for greatness to be bestowed on them.  Here's just one of many, many examples: https://www.seeker.com/theswim

Direct experience has shown me that we have very few limitations when it comes to our potential for success.  In almost every case, we can actually do whatever it is we think we want to do, provided we are willing to put in the time, energy and sacrifice it takes to get there.  Many of my friends and colleagues have achieved things I thought were impossible through their diligent effort.  Many struggled for years, inch by painful inch, to finally achieve their goals.  Their willpower and determination inspire me every day.

We see uplifting stories all the time of athletes, musicians and other public figures who overcame tremendous odds to achieve their measures of success.  Of course, we never hear about those who didn't.  Of course, being famous is not the point and not at all necessary for success.  They key is to adopt a mindset of success that will enable us to ask ourselves the right questions (or at least not the wrong ones).

Start not with thinking about what you can't do, but rather asking yourself what you CAN do.  Start small if necessary.  A complex knot is ultimately undone be a series of small, seemingly inconsequential movements.  The knots in our lives are not much different.

Even in martial arts there are techniques that look invincible.  There are locks and holds and chokes that seem unbreakable.  There are opponents who are bigger, faster, stronger...better.  Despite this, as long as you are alive and awake, there is always SOMETHING you can do.  A total commitment to survival is the best possible defense.  This has nothing to do with specific techniques and everything to do with mental preparedness.  I encourage my students to try to find something, anything they can do in a situation, to exercise their minds in looking for ways to make continuous progress, even one small step at a time.  I push them to never stop thinking and never stop trying.  I am so proud that they are not just great martial artists but also great people.

It is important to view the world as being filled with endless possibilities, knowing that if needed we can change our approach to go in a new, different, better direction.  There is always the chance to improve and increase our happiness if we avoid the illusion that there is nothing we can do.

Don't give up.  Stick around for the end credits.  Keep going, keep moving.  Grow. Learn. Expand. Extend.  You'll be glad you did.

Trust me, there's always something you can do.   

  

The Illusion of Permanence

(thanks for the inspiration GE)

It was a great day.  One of the best really.  The sun was rising on the beach in Hua Hin, Thailand and we were starting a day at the Peaceful Warrior Camp, surrounded by friends and doing what we love.  Later, as I watched the long, slow sunset and listened to the ocean my mind drifted away --- I could live like this.  I felt like I could stay like this forever.

In an instant of course I knew it wouldn't last.  The week would end and I would return to a rainy, chilly spring in Tokyo.  I would return to the chaos of meetings, conference calls, emails, bills.  But for now, I was here in Paradise.  I tried to stay in the NOW as much as I could that week.

The other side was also true.  I had been working 14 hour days for nearly seven months trying to close a multimillion dollar global contract renewal.  I would go to evening Kali class and then back to work until the last train (or later).  Weekends I was too tired to spend time with my family   All I could do was try to sleep.  I started to get chest pains and shortness of breath.  I added another life insurance policy - just in case.  Those long days and nights seemed like they would never end.  But they did.  Finally, we got the deal signed.  To reward myself, I bought a Rolex.  When I look at it, I remember those long, difficult days and it feels like a million years ago.

We tend to suffer from an illusion of permanence.  Good or bad, we think things will stay the same forever.  We become complacent.  Of course, reality always steps in to show us that this is not true.  Nothing is set in stone, and nothing is forever. Good times and bad eventually fade into memory and, after we are gone, fade into history and disappear just as we do.

To me, this understanding is very, very important.  The good times -  a good job, a good relationship, a sunny day, a vacation, dinner with friends, raising curious young children, Christmas Day, fireworks, a trip to Hawaii, the cherry blossoms - all will come and go.  It's important (and necessary) to allow ourselves to rejoice in the joys of the everyday.  At the same time, these are made all the more precious by knowing that they will be gone.  This reminds us to savor them fully, to squeeze every last drop of goodness from them.  It tells us to hug the people we love whenever we can, to pet the dog or cat one more time, to sleep in or to have the extra cup of coffee or a piece of apple pie.  Soon enough it will all be gone.

The bad goes, too.  We can endure almost anything if we see an end to it.  Tough jobs, tough relationships, economic hard times.  All of this can be endured.  It's important to remember that this, too, will pass.  Try to see the bigger picture and the longer term outcomes.  Suffer now to be a champion later.  Challenge yourself to be patient and learn the value of perseverance.  Remind yourself again and again to remain calm and try to see past the current hardship.  Meditate more.

Martial arts training also helps us to appreciate the impermanence of life more fully.  Our discipline and meditation practice can help us remain calm and centered, and keep our emotions from getting the better of us, good or bad.  Understanding how fragile our bodies can be (and how strong our spirit can be) helps us gain perspective about our place in the world.  Study of Chi/Ki renews our awareness in the connection we have to everything arounds us - the Fabric of Life - and helps us not be so afraid of the inevitable return to that Origin which awaits us all.  We are ONE. Unchanged.  But always changing.

Peace.

Reflections on The Road

Wow, it's been a long road.  I realized that I've been in and around martial arts some way or another for the past 37 years.  During that time, I have explored a variety of different arts including boxing, wrestling, fencing, karate, judo, ninjutsu, iaijutsu, kenjutsu, aikido and kali.  I have achieved black belt ranks in 4 arts (ninjutsu, iaijutsu, aikido, kali) and continue to study kali and express the other arts in it.

It was not a planned approach.  It has been more of a random walk, but I have been very lucky to have had the best instructors guide me throughout.  Time and again, I have met and been inspired by people who showed me the keys to open new doors (thank you Guro Claes) and helped me recognize and remember the connection between mind/body/spirit that underpins what we do.  My teachers called me to a higher purpose in service of my fellow souls, and challenged me to accept that Martial Arts would be much more than just punching and kicking.

I'd like to say that I never gave up - that I still continue training every art I learned.
That's only partially true.  I definitely incorporate everything I have done into my Kali flow, as I should.  However, I no longer actively train Yoshinkan Aikido, Takeda Ryu Aikijujutsu, Ninkage Ryu Ninjutsu or Kiyama Ryu Kenjutsu.  In most cases it's because my teachers have stopped teaching or because I have moved away from them.  Even in Kali Majapahit, which I teach currently, my teachers are in other countries and I am mostly left to build on their basics and discover the art through my own practice.  I am doing my best and I hope they will see some progress in between meeting me.

My martial arts is a core part of my identity.  It is central to who I am and how I am, and I cannot imagine ever being without it.  Achievement of black belt ranks has been a welcome recognition of my commitment but was never the end goal - nor the end - of any part of my training.

Sometimes students stall - for whatever reason - and they can't seem to progress as fast as others.  In some cases, it seems like they really don't progress at all.  This can be frustrating and cause them to lose hope and ultimately stop training entirely.  Maybe they feel ashamed or lose motivation if they don't go fast enough.

The reality is that we will all have peaks and valleys in the training, and especially over a lifetime in the arts things will change from time to time.  It is most important to find your way back to the Path, in whatever form it takes, so your personal journey can continue.

Progress can be measured in days and weeks, but it is the years that matter most.

I am grateful to all my teachers, fellow instructors and students for making my journey so fulfilling.
You remind my why I started, why I continue and why I will never stop.

See you on the mats.