What Can I do?

Life can be very hard.  These days it seems especially so, somehow much more complex and difficult than it was when I was a kid (and my childhood was far from easy).  We are so, so busy and it seems we can never catch up on our to-do lists, our bills and on all the other various things we wish we had time to do.  Despite technological progress we seem to be expected to always be available to answer work emails, jump on early morning/late night calls or go on business trips (economy class, of course).  TV and media makes us think we should have...well...more.  Several times this month my commute was delayed due to someone committing suicide by jumping in front of a train (last night someone even did that for the Shinkansen, a fast bullet train).  Sadly, they average one per day in Japan.

Beyond this, many people suffering from depression, or even the earliest symptoms of it, say that they feel a deep, unsettling loss of control.  There is a despair and hopelessness that comes from feeling there is nothing you can do about all that is going on.  You are a receiver; a victim.  You might think "there's nothing I can do about it".  Yes, ultimately control is an illusion.  However, our state of mind is very, very real.

Many people you meet focus on what they can't do.  It's a constant litany of denial for everything and everyone.  "I can't get a better job", "I can't write a book or anything like that", "I can't look as good as him/her", "I can't afford it"... the list goes on and on, rooted in negativity.  This thinking closes our minds to the possibility of another method or another outcome being acceptable.  We set unrealistic standards (or allow them to be set on us) and then complain that we can't achieve them.  Before long we stop even trying.  We give up.

Another interpretation of the phrase "what can I do?" focuses on the "I" part.  It highlights the seeming insignificance of our individuality, meaning "I'm just one person, what can I do?"  We can think of so many cases where success or failure was dependent on the actions of an individual.  Where each individual collectively made a difference.  Without individuals there cannot be groups or teams.  Even on our own, we have the power to influence and shape our world, if only we choose to exercise it.  The greatest people in history were not born to it - they stepped up as individuals and made success happen rather than waiting for greatness to be bestowed on them.  Here's just one of many, many examples: https://www.seeker.com/theswim

Direct experience has shown me that we have very few limitations when it comes to our potential for success.  In almost every case, we can actually do whatever it is we think we want to do, provided we are willing to put in the time, energy and sacrifice it takes to get there.  Many of my friends and colleagues have achieved things I thought were impossible through their diligent effort.  Many struggled for years, inch by painful inch, to finally achieve their goals.  Their willpower and determination inspire me every day.

We see uplifting stories all the time of athletes, musicians and other public figures who overcame tremendous odds to achieve their measures of success.  Of course, we never hear about those who didn't.  Of course, being famous is not the point and not at all necessary for success.  They key is to adopt a mindset of success that will enable us to ask ourselves the right questions (or at least not the wrong ones).

Start not with thinking about what you can't do, but rather asking yourself what you CAN do.  Start small if necessary.  A complex knot is ultimately undone be a series of small, seemingly inconsequential movements.  The knots in our lives are not much different.

Even in martial arts there are techniques that look invincible.  There are locks and holds and chokes that seem unbreakable.  There are opponents who are bigger, faster, stronger...better.  Despite this, as long as you are alive and awake, there is always SOMETHING you can do.  A total commitment to survival is the best possible defense.  This has nothing to do with specific techniques and everything to do with mental preparedness.  I encourage my students to try to find something, anything they can do in a situation, to exercise their minds in looking for ways to make continuous progress, even one small step at a time.  I push them to never stop thinking and never stop trying.  I am so proud that they are not just great martial artists but also great people.

It is important to view the world as being filled with endless possibilities, knowing that if needed we can change our approach to go in a new, different, better direction.  There is always the chance to improve and increase our happiness if we avoid the illusion that there is nothing we can do.

Don't give up.  Stick around for the end credits.  Keep going, keep moving.  Grow. Learn. Expand. Extend.  You'll be glad you did.

Trust me, there's always something you can do.