I Don't Know

"I don't know".  Somehow those three little words seem very hard for many people to say.  Our modern society places such an importance on (the appearance of) being right and on having all the answers - being instantly able to look things up on Wikipedia in order to find something we consider truthful.  Meanwhile, our elected officials lie openly,  directly to our faces without even the slightest shame or fear of being proven wrong.  To them, facts don't matter at all.  We don't care if we are actually right, we just want to "look right" (or at least don't want to look wrong).

Even in martial arts, there is a terrible temptation to think we know everything.  We chase every new technique and scan YouTube relentlessly for something interesting.  Our attention spans get shorter every day it seems, and no amount of new information is enough to keep us from becoming jaded and bored.  The surface knowledge, the easy first steps, are enough to satisfy us and many times we fail to dig deep enough to achieve real understanding.  We forget the importance of patience and perseverance.

As a teacher it is even worse.  When we cross that long-awaited bridge to become a black belt we somehow think that like a video game we instantly have new powers, abilities and knowledge we didn't have the day before we took the test.  Unrealistically, we expect ourselves to know the answers to everything...even when we don't.  Faced with the prospect of admitting we don't know, we may be tempted to make up something that sounds plausible rather than taking the question away to confirm the truth.  We try very hard to live up to others' expectations of us, and even our own expectations of ourselves.  We mean well, but...

However, teaching martial arts is not like teaching Math or English.  Although I am sure there are situations where knowledge of these topics is vital (landing a rocket ship or negotiating with a hostage-taker), the fact is that martial arts knowledge is commonly learned for self-defense.  The wrong answer could get someone hurt, potentially permanently.  Fortunately, martial arts is as much science as any other academic discipline (especially physics).  Voodoo doesn't make it work properly (or any better).  Sound body mechanics, physics, chemistry, nutrition and psychology explain why what we do works.  This is an overlay to the historical, spiritual and philosophical elements that we learn to help give our movements context and cultural relevance.

I've been in and around martial arts since I was 14 years old.  That makes almost 40 years of study and I feel I am just now starting to scratch the surface.  Every time I meet a new master I realize there is so much left for me to explore and learn.  I have read more than 200 books on martial arts (my personal library is probably that many at least) and yet there are probably 500 more I should read for background, not to mention re-reading some of the others.  And yet, I feel like I have hardly scratched the surface.

In Kali Majapahit, I am one of less than 10 people in the world who hold a 2nd degree black belt rank or higher.  After nearly 10 years of study, I think I am starting to understand a bit about what we do and why, and feel reasonably confident to answer the questions of beginners most of the time.  And yet, I feel like I have hardly scratched the surface in my understanding of Filipino and Southeast Asian martial arts.  There is so much culture and history behind all of it that I need at least another 20-30 years to get deep enough to have a good perspective.  I hope I live long enough.  Finally, I know how much I don't know.  I may be a bit further along than some, but I am still on the same path as the rest of us.  I still reach out to my seniors and my peers for answers when I am not 100%.

I prefer the right answer to the convenient answer.

So much of what I have learned came from questions.  Not just my own, but those of others that led me to search for answers and deeper knowledge.  Even this blog, started in 2005 and now with nearly 500 posts, was originally started as a way to put structure around ideas of Yoshinkan Aikido so our class could focus on training and drilling rather than stop for Q & A.

No one knows it all.
Many people know more than I.  That's OK.
It's OK not to know something or to not have the answers all the time.
Finding the answers, the REAL answers, is how we learn and grow.

Learn to be comfortable with not knowing.
Suppress the ego and admit it if you don't know.  There is no shame in it.
Take it away as homework and research the answer thoroughly.  You will learn as much from answering as the other person did from asking (maybe more).