Handicapped (part 2)

 

(thanks for the inspiration Mr. Physics)

How do you know when you have the right circle of friends around you? One way to tell is that being with them raises you up - makes you better. To maintain the status quo, you push yourself harder to be a better version of yourself, worthy of such companionships. They ask hard questions and gently challenge and encourage you to keep growing and learning. They are by your side through thick and thin, always having your best interests in mind. They make sure all your bases are covered and that you don't miss anything. How fortunate I am that throughout my life, such smart, wise, capable people have taken mercy on me and included me in the conversation. As a result I have learned things I otherwise would never have even dreamt of understanding.

The other day over lunch I met one of these friends. We began to talk about handicaps. He mentioned the statistically significant increase of students at Cambridge University who present with ADHD and autism, nearly 400% higher than previously measured. If this were so, to what degree they should receive special treatment?  Nearly 100% of the freshman class were determined to have some form of ADHD or be on the autistic spectrum. What does this mean? That our modern society now has such a statistical occurrence of these conditions that it is now the normal state of young people? I doubt it. However, by showing up on the ADHD/autism spectrum, these students are able to get perks such as additional time on exams, extra tutoring, longer deadlines for submission, and even stipends from the government. That's a lot more than just a sticker that gives you closer parking spaces. Frankly, if you don't get placed on the spectrum, you will be disadvantaged. Shouldn't it be the other way around??

I initially wrote about this topic five years ago. I had ADHD. I was on Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta, Dexedrine at various times during my childhood to try to limit my hyperactivity. The medicines all had very bad side effects on me and in the end I was taken off of them and left to just do the best I could. I never got any special treatment, and in fact I was mercilessly tormented and bullied by my classmates for nearly 10 years of my education. Over time I learned to live with my condition, regardless of the label. 

In addition to ADHD, I am basically blind in one eye (can only see light but not shapes, numbers or letters). I have worn glasses for more than 50 years, and learned to adjust to this limitation growing up. I learned to drive, shoot guns, play sports (badly) and even do martial arts (not as badly). It prevented me from joining the US military, which had been a childhood dream of mine, but apart from that my poor vision did not stop me from living a pretty normal life.

I fully appreciate that there are people with ADHD and autism (and other disabilities of course) who genuinely struggle to make their way in society and are truly deserving of special treatment. In adulthood, I also came to accept that being handicapped does not make me "lesser" than other people. It simply reflects a difference in capabilities rather than a value judgement of someone's worth. I think the hallmark of an elevated and mature society can be measured by the way we take of our vulnerable and marginal citizens.

It is a bit hard to believe that all the students in that study, despite having ADHD and/or being on the autism spectrum, were somehow able to overcome these challenges en masse and get into Cambridge University. The more likely explanation is that they simply learned how to game the system, and realized that they would be at a disadvantage versus other students if they didn't get the same treatment. US gun culture is a bit similar. You don't want to be the one person without one. That would put you at a severe disadvantage.

Why would someone claim to have a disability who did not? I think in addition to receiving incremental benefits, in some cases even grants or other financial incentives, everyone has an inherent ego need to see themselves as "special" and deserving of "better" treatment than others. We want to be recognized and catered to, with people deferring to us because our challenges somehow make us MORE not LESS. There are extreme cases of people identifying as a whole host of categories in order to "belong" to a group that can be socially perceived as deserving privilege and protection.

Who does this hurt? In the end, it hurts people with real, debilitating handicaps that they genuinely struggle with, since the broad categorization of people as "handicapped" or "disabled" trivializes the struggle and makes the challenges of those with more severe limitations seem lesser than they actually are. If everyone has the label, it ceases to be special any more. Truly, can society really support a generation where everyone claims to have "special needs". Does every social interaction really need to be the Starbucks "special order" of privilege and entitlement? Over diagnosis of these kinds of mental health issues drains critical, limited resources from those who are actually in need. https://www.varsity.co.uk/comment/27315

The UK allocates up to nearly $50,000 for those qualifying for support under the DSA (Disabled Students Allowance) https://www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa

Eligibility includes conditions like anxiety and depression, which are notoriously difficult to assess. Throughout my life I have felt both (sometimes at the same time) and been diagnosed with both, and yet never imagined I should be paid money or given special consideration.

While recent studies in the UK show that abuse of the benefits system might be somewhere around 3%, the real figures may be far higher given that it is very different to check every claim and ensure that every recipient is genuinely in need. In the US, former Republican President Ronald Reagan successfully ran on a campaign vilifying the "welfare queens" who were supposedly having as many children as possible from different fathers in order to maximize their social benefits. The current US administration makes the same claims about illegal immigrants. Even Japan, where foreigners are only about 3% of the total population anyway, politicians use the "us versus them" argument to target foreigners as somehow taking benefits from native Japanese (statistically this is clearly the opposite - foreigners are net contributors to Japanese social security by a very wide margin)  

In my case, I never considered myself handicapped and was always triggered if that label were applied to me, even if it was accurate. On one hand I felt that the benefits and entitlements for handicapped people were not required for me and should be used for someone more in need than I was. I had my pride, and I got along just fine, thank you. The reality may be that I felt the "handicapped" label to be a stigma that would isolate me further from "normal" people, when my goal had always been to be (at least) as good as other people. I struggled. A lot. In the end I became resilient and unbreakable - committed to achieving my version of success and undeterred by any of the many negative things people have always said about me. Haters gonna hate, after all.

It took a long time and a lot of experience to not only begin to accept other handicapped people as not being "lesser" than the rest of us, but also to accept that I myself belong among them. I am handicapped and can/should use my voice to bring additional awareness to the range of diversity humans can have and still contribute to society in a positive and meaningful way. I have tried to tie this awareness back to my heart of compassion, to allow me to better meet others where they are and do my best to support everyone, handicapped or not.

I hope society will continue to support those among us in need, but also encourage people to reject a victim mindset simply because they refuse to put their best efforts in. I hope we will help every child to feel special without a need to seek belonging through external labels or defaulting to a learned helplessness.

As a martial arts instructor, my mission is to help students develop the skills and confidence to be successful in life - that means VICTOR, not victim. In class we challenge students to do and be more, to grow and push forward positively into the next better version of themselves without excuses. I don't plan to stop doing that anytime soon. Together we will refused to be limited by any restrictions, be they mental, physical or emotional.

What do you think?