THE CEO

Being the CEO, the Chief Executive Officer, is a title that many business people aspire to achieve.  It represents the pinnacle of success, where YOU are the one calling the shots.  You have absolute POWER.  You set the direction, you determine the strategy.  You motivate.  You inspire.  It's The Kwon: love, respect, community and the dollars, too!

We imagine that being the CEO is the easiest job in the world.  In complete control, everyone does whatever we ask, and would do anything to get our approval and recognition.  The CEO flies in a private jet, dines in Michelin-starred restaurants, wears $10,000 suits and drinks Cristal like Perrier.  The CEO has "big conversations" on the golf course with other CEOs at the "Successful People Country Club" where everyone nods approval at every lifestyle choice.

Well, there's some good news and some bad news.

First, the bad news.  Being CEO is probably the toughest job there is.  The CEO is the public face of the company.  The one to blame for every wrongdoing.  Rather than being in absolute control, the CEO is beholden to the board of directors, who (should), in relentless pursuit of goals that magnify shareholder value and returns, drive the CEO to seek greater and greater achievement for the company.  The CEO is under the microscope constantly, his/her every move is scrutinized by the board, the employees, their peers/competitors, their customers and the media.  For listed companies, the brutal truth is reflected daily in the swings of their stock price (or their cost of borrowing/issuing bonds) and is seen and analyzed by millions.  Sure, there can be a lot of money involved, but many companies also explicitly or implicitly require the CEO to tie his/her personal fortune to the company's success - meaning failure can lead to financial as well as reputational ruin.

Most people experience a majority of their stress from their job.  In the case of the CEO, this is magnified to almost intolerable levels.  It's certainly a 24/7/365 commitment that is not to be undertaken lightly.  Most of us are afraid of the big risk of (public) failure that comes with being a CEO.  We think we could do better (maybe we could) but we are afraid to try.  In the end, most of us end our careers without ever knowing the answer.

CEOs are reliant on strong management teams that help refine and execute the strategy, since delivery is the key to results.  Good CEOs are careful not to just pick "Yes Men" but to surround themselves with ethical, critical thinkers that can add value to the vision, help identify strategic opportunity, and embody the corporate culture.  In business, like attracts like, and CEOs often develop management teams that embody both the best and worst of their own dynamic personalities.  Good CEOs have some important attributes.  Here's a simple list... Here's another.

The Good News.  We ARE the CEO of our own life (and we can never be fired!).

As CEO, like the picture shows, we have authority to make key decisions.  We also have the authority to hire, fire and promote our personal "management team" which are the cast that support us in realizing our visions and goals.  In context, it means that we have the authority, nay the RESPONSIBILITY, to surround ourselves with positive people that encourage our growth and achievement rather than negative people who constantly bring us down and limit our progress.  We can and must shuffle as needed to create and maintain the best mix of people in our circles.  When we treat those around us poorly, we can expect them to "quit" or at least to stop being invested in our success.

Like attracts like, so as good CEOs, we must keep ourselves energized and hold ourselves to the highest ethical standards so we can attract others who will do the same.  We must remain fully invested in our own outcomes, which forces us to take responsibility for refining our vision and executing against it.  CEOs are stewards of their corporate culture, and likewise we are stewards of our personal "brand" and what that will mean to those around us.  This underscores why integrity is so important for success.  Good CEOs are both mentors to others and are mentored by others, always open and willing to learn and get advice from anyone who can give productive insight.

In my case, I have been very fortunate to have a team of instructors with tremendous caliber personally and professionally.  In addition to being excellent martial artists and instructors, they are extraordinary people.  Each one has faced and overcome many challenges to drive their lives forward.  They motivate and inspire me, and are never afraid to call me out when I make mistakes.  We could never have the elite community in KM Japan that we have without their support.  I am blessed and filled with gratitude.  I'm lucky, and so are our KM Japan students.

I like the idea of running my life like a CEO.  It forces me to have a mission statement, a brand and a strategy.  It forces me to think about my values and beliefs and to make deliberate plans to execute and deliver on my life objectives.  It helps me remember to seek out contributors and service my ecosystem - the many people who are in my extended network and who care about me.  It keeps me focused on my customers --- MY STUDENTS and how to do the best for them every day.

I encourage you to become the CEO of your own life - it will be the best "job" you ever have!

Secret Techniques

There are LOTS of "secret techniques" in martial arts.  Stretching from dim mak in Chinese traditions to secret Ninjutsu to secret footwork of Wing Chun and sword drawing of Yagyu Shinkage and so on, and so on.  Everyone, it seems, is looking for a shortcut, surefire way to victory.  Saturday morning chop-socky Kung Fu movies almost all included some secret technique the master would show the student "when he was ready".  So much so that Tarantino even included it in his homage movies Kill Bill 1 & 2 as "The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique". 

First of all, the fact that all of these so-called "secret" techniques were found using Google (no secret) in seconds, I guess they are a little too accessible to be secret.  That being said, there is value in considering the idea of a shortcut, surefire way to victory.

At its simplest, we could define military strategy as "kill more of them first" and for thousands of years that seemed to be the case.  New technology enabled us to kill others at a much faster pace and attrition was the principle way to win battles and, ultimately, wars.  This is exemplified by the Battle of the Somme in WWI, where withering machine gun fire raked No Man's Land, mowing down wave after wave of ineffective infantry charges.  Of course, the use of atomic bombs on Japan shows the zenith, at least for now, of man's use of technology to kill other men.

Modern warfare is different, however.  The goals are no longer to kill as many enemy troops as possible.  Instead, we disrupt infrastructure/communications.  We destroy the enemy's economic outputs.  We deny them access to war supplies.  We weaken their public support and will to fight.  All of these so-called "non-military" actions support, enhance and facilitate actual combat, sometimes making it almost unnecessary.  The British conflict in the Falkland Islands or the US involvement in Panama are only two examples.

In martial arts, too, there are varying degrees of fighting strategy.  Very simply, my objective can be to punch or kick my opponent into unconsciousness, as is the goal of boxing, Muay Thai and other pugilistic arts.  in Judo or Jiu Jitsu, my goal is submission or making the opponent give up for fear of joint injury or being choked/strangled unconscious.  MMA combines striking and grappling to allow more ways to render your opponent unable to continue.

Some styles emphasize specific targeting like low kicking, in an effort to win by taking away the opponent's mobility - if they can't stand they can't fight.  Still others like Kyusho Jitsu try to target acupuncture points to disrupt or "short circuit" the body's electrical system (Dim Mak is also related to this).

As we become more mature in our study, we often look to efficiency in our expression of martial arts.  This can mean a single movement that attacks on multiple dimensions or sets up multiple follow-ups.  It can also mean the use of space, timing, distance and environment to give advantage.  Furthermore, it can mean using the structure and limitations of the opponent's body to weaken their ability to resist.  In this way, we aren't attacking the person as much as we are attacking their posture, balance and structure.  Having done so, they become easier to control.  High level Aikido is known for this, as are some more esoteric Chinese traditions.

Ethically and morally (and legally) speaking, I am opposed to causing injuring to people unless there is simply no alternative.  I have no issue using pain compliance, and of course pain and injury are related but not the same.

Like many things in life, it is very important to know your objective before you determine the various options available to achieve it.  In martial arts this requires some soul-searching to realize what kind of person we are and how to express that through our art.  Self-defense should be a goal of any practical martial arts system, but excessive force is ego, and that is worth reflection, too.

I suppose the secret is really that there are no secrets.

Vietnam

George "Tim" Akins was one of the greatest men I ever knew.  He was my foster brother, older than me by 20 years.  Tim was the only son of my foster mother, Dorothy Leonard, and he grew up in Villa Park, IL. just like I did.  He went to my high school, Willowbrook HS, 20 years before I did.  By the time I came onto the scene he was already back from Vietnam and married, living first in Maywood and later in West Chicago.

Tim was a true Renaissance Man.  Self taught on a broad array of instruments including guitar, banjo, and harmonica, he played football in high school and was an Eagle scout, the highest possible rank.  He trained as a mechanical engineer and architect, even starting his own computer consulting business in the early 80s before ultimately becoming business manager of District 303 public schools in St Charles.  Tim wasn't drafted.  He volunteered and served with honor in the USMC as a radio operator, enduring many hardships in Vietnam including rocket attacks and nearly being overrun at Da Nang during the Tet Offensive in 1968.  He even took liberty in Tokyo, where I would later live most of my life.  We both got a kick out of that.  Beyond just being a warrior, Tim was a kind and gentle man.  He was a loving husband and father, and the best big brother anyone could ever hope for.  He knew everything I wish I knew.

When my foster dad retired and took my foster mom away from Chicago to live in the milder climate of Reno, NV, she tasked Tim to look after me, which he did with great care and concern.  He always had a place for me at his table and good advice from his vast knowledge and life experience.  He was the father I always wished I could have had.  I could listen to him for hours and I learned something whenever he spoke.

After I graduated from college in 1992, I lived on his screened back porch for a summer, spending my days lost among the many books in his vast collection and enjoying long, cool evenings listening to him play his folk guitar and harmonica.  In January 1993 I was back in Japan, this time for good.  After my oldest son, George, was born (and named after him), he used to say "The Georges" in our family were all "destined for greatness" and list up all the many things he was planning to teach his nephew once he retired and moved further west to a farm he was planning to buy.  It never happened.

One day in 2007 as he shaved and got ready for work he had a massive stroke, followed by several heart attacks that were finally more than he could bear.  He never woke up.  By the time I got to Chicago he was already gone.  He died far too young at only 61 years old.  Several hundred people attended his funeral from the school district, VFW, bowling league, folk music club and so on,  a testament to his far-reaching positive impact in so many peoples' lives.  He is buried near his home in West Chicago.  I was devastated.  I still am.

Tim used to say sometimes, "what are they gonna do, send me back to Vietnam?" meaning that the worst that could ever happen would have been trivial compared to what he had to go through in war as a marine.  It was many years before he was public about his service, ultimately marching in VFW parades and for POW MIA support with other veterans.  I hope he finally found peace and forgave our country for not honoring him the way they had our relatives who fought in WW2 and in Korea.  He deserved better but never complained.

Day by day we all face our challenges.  We struggle at work and school, we worry about our relationships and our bank accounts.  It's a seemingly never-ending battle to get ahead in this tough world.  Tim's words always ring true for me.  I think about the hardest challenges I've ever faced - trying for 10 years to get to Japan; working full-time while going to college full-time trying to get my education; setting up my life in a new country with a new language and culture; my wife's battle with cancer; losing my foster parents.  Truth be told, nothing could ever hurt worse than losing Tim, my guiding light.

It's been 12 years since you left, but I hope you will never stop being my guardian angel.  I miss you Big Brother.

Journeys

This is an excerpt from Adam Driver's TED Talk called "My Journey from Marine to Actor" (full video here).  I was hypnotized by how articulate, engaging and thoughtful he is.  Nearly all of my family (foster and biological) served in the military including my birth father (USMC), foster father (USAAF), foster brother (Army), foster brother (USMC) and so on and so on.  Many of my close friends from high school served as well, and I regret not having been able to join them.

I am probably the first male member of my family since the US Civil war to not serve our country.  That said, much of what Mr. Driver said resonates with me deeply.

Like Mr. Driver, I grew up in the Midwest and struggled hard to find my purpose.  I failed many times along the way until my dreams began to come true.  His were at Julliard, mine were in Japan.  Likewise, we both discovered ways of disciplining our lives via belief systems anchored both in tradition and practicality.  His via the USMC and mine via martial arts training.

He mentions the importance of learning to articulate and express his feelings through training in acting school at Julliard.  In my case, although I also acted in public theater as a child, I later joined ToastMasters and became a public speaker for many of the same reasons.  This has helped me cope with the many strong emotions in me as a foster child and paved the way for me to forgive others (and myself) for my childhood traumas.  Learning to talk it out is very, very important for mental health.

In the end, our journeys naturally lead us to discover ways of giving back, as part of the gratitude we have for all we have received.  Mr. Driver has been very active in promoting artistic expression for service members and their families.  In my own small way, my teaching is a way of "paying it forward" for a lifetime of support the martial arts and its community have given me.  I am sure we share the same feelings of pride and joy when our efforts open up new perspectives for others and give them new tools to better themselves.

Huge Respect for you, Adam Driver.  You are welcome at my house for dinner anytime.  #teamkylo

A History Of Testing

It was hot as I stepped off the plane at GSP (Greenville - Spartanburg Airport) in Greenville, South Carolina.  I had been battling rising stress and anxiety for more than two months since getting an email from Guro Fred that told me I would test for 3rd degree black belt this week.  There was a lot happening at work, and a nagging finger injury meant I couldn't lift weights or even do pushups or close my left fist for over two months, despite weekly acupuncture treatments.  The doctor suggested surgery to release the A1 flexor tendon from its sheath, but I was reluctant since the recovery time was quoted as 4-6 weeks.  I was filled with dread.  Somehow I passed, becoming only the 3rd person ever to achieve this rank (the others are KG Guillaume Foucaud and KG Vincent Dizon - who were my seniors from my very first day of KM in 2008).

KM is a complex martial art.  It is a comprehensive fighting system combining not only the sticks, blades and empty hand flow of Filipino Kali (influenced by Inayan Eskrima and Kali Sikaran), but also Indonesian/Malaysian Silat, Hakka Kuntao/Wing Chun, and even Muay Thai/Muay Boran.  Proficiency in KM includes modern boxing (derived from Filipino boxers anyway) and Panantukan (kickboxing), as well as Dumog (wrestling) and Trankada (lock flow).  Frankly, it's a lot to remember.  As well, it is interesting to note that our system is a 7th dan system as opposed to many arts which grade to 10th dan.  In a way, it means I am just under halfway through the black belt ranks. :-)

Beyond the technical details, Guro Fred Evrard has a way of making each test... worse...than the one before it.  In his words "this test is by far the hardest one I have ever conducted".  Each subsequent challenge pushes you further and further outside your comfort zone into exhaustion and beyond.  At the same time, each seemingly impossible challenge yields new insight into what you can do if you focus, dig in and LET GO.  What do I mean?

Kasama Assistant Instructor Test or "Inferiority Complex"
I took my Kasama Test in October 2011, about a year after returning to Japan from living in Singapore.  I had started KM in 2008 and wasn't able to complete my training since JPM sent me back to Japan.  At Guro Fred's insistence I was already running a weekly study group of KM on Friday nights.  Some of those students are my instructors now.

I tested, which included being made to do a large part of the De Cuerdas single stick curriculum using the full-size Filipino Kris (thanks, Guro!).  In addition, I was testing at the same time as Guro Seb Briedecker from Germany, an outstanding athlete and natural born fighter.  It's easy to be intimidated standing next to someone like that.  He moves with grace, speed and power and the techniques all look so easy when he does them.  He flows seamlessly from subsystem to subsystem and aces the test with a big smile.  I, on the other hand, am on hands and knees several times as round after round of boxing drills weaken me.  At the end, I could hardly even raise my gloves or mitts.  I passed the test, but felt ashamed at my lack of skill in comparison to someone like Guro Seb.  I left Singapore determined to get better.

The key takeaway from this test was that you cannot move like anyone else but YOU.  Keep your eyes forward on your goals and don't worry about "the other guy", especially when the other guy is a superhero like Guro Seb.

Kadua Guro 1st Degree Black Belt Test  or "Welcome to the Spotlight"
I took my Kadua Guro 1st degree black belt test in Japan in July 2013, with Guro Ben Boeglin flying in for the week to help me prepare and be my partner.  I was organizing the KM seminar at the same time, so stress was already high anyway.

This test was done in front of my wife, my students and some seminar participants and I put my comments here.  I remember very little about the test itself, except that I had to stop twice due to low blood sugar (blue lips and dizziness) before eating a banana and continuing.

Afterward we went to Pizza Strada and it was the most delicious pizza I'd ever had.  I slept like I was dead.

The pressure of testing in front of your own students, not to mention your partner, amplifies everything.  I wanted to do well, to pass for THEM just as much as for myself.  I wanted my wife to see and be proud of what I do.  I tried to fight through the exhaustion but I'm sure I looked a mess - you could easily tell how much I struggled.  I breathed a sigh of relief and prepared to start over.

The key takeaway from this test was about the importance of suppressing the ego.  I wanted to do well not just for me, but for everyone else who I thought expected this of me.  Their expectations were not MY expectations and the additional pressure made a tough test even harder.  Whatever you do, fulfill your own expectations first.

Madunong Guro 2nd Degree Black Belt Test or "Expect The Unexpected" 
In September 2015 I arrived in Singapore for ITA, with a handful of my KM Japan students in tow.  As far as I knew, I was there to support them as a coach and mentor for their Kasama testing.  It was also the first time I presented a student (Phil Gagnon) for Kadua Guro - the first one.  I showed them to Guro Fred confident they would do well - which of course they did.  I hugged Guro Fred when I arrived and he whispered in my ear "by the way, you're testing too..."  Mic Drop.

My stress-o-meter instantly shot up to about 21 (on a scale of 10).  I had NO FOREWARNING.  Zero. Zip. Nil. Nada. Nawt.  Nothing.

It was a brutal test done over the course of the full weekend.  My reflections on it here.  The lessons in there are every bit as valid for me today, as is the gratitude.

Go down swinging.

Katulong Guro - 3rd Degree Black Belt Test or "Facing Your Fear Head On"
So...here we are. Once again, Guro Fred's unique brand of "psychological warfare" was in my head for months, making me worried about my cardio, my techniques, my injuries, my jet lag and every other variable I knew I couldn't control.  Although I knew I would be testing, Guro Fred managed to give me no specific information on what exactly the testing/passing criteria would be.  For weeks I agonized about how to prepare given my finger injury, and wondering if I even had a chance of passing at all.  I resigned myself to being the first black belt to ever fail a KM test and thought about how I would explain that to the students if it happened.

The camp was MAGIC.  Throughout the week there was so much fellowship, support and compassion during the training sessions, the drives and the mealtimes.  I was surrounded by my brothers and sisters - some old and some new.  Lots of great conversations happened along the scenic drives or after the morning conditioning.  I felt among family and slept instantly, deeply every night.  Travelers Rest, SC is as the name implies, a beautiful place of beautiful souls where adventurers like us can find what we seek.

And then the technical part of the test happened on Monday (Day 3 of the camp).  I knew I was being tested from long before I ever stepped off the plane at GSP, but the main technical test (and graduation) took place during a 24-hour period that included outdoor training, a 5 meter rock jump and swimming in the lake, a knife defense seminar with Furman University and Greenville police officers, and finally KM SC class at Furman University.  A lot can happen in 24 hours.

Like the 2nd dan test, I "flipped the switch" and went into combat mode.  I tried to be in the moment and face each task, each opponent one at a time.  I did my best.  About halfway through the test I felt completely exhausted.  I tried not to show it and just told myself "one more minute...just hold on for one more minute..." for the remaining hour or so.  In the end, my goddamn stubbornness (ask anyone) and the encouragement and energy of the others allowed me to get through to the end.  I felt like I could hardly stand.  My knees were weak, but they held up.

Key takeaways from this test were similar to 2nd dan, with the addition that I really wanted to make a great example of determination and intensity, even if I failed.  I wanted the new students in KM SC especially to see that even at my age (nearly 53) I was ready to give 100% and face my fears of failure head on.

In the end, you can feel dread, anxiety, fear, stress, apprehension and anything else you choose to let enter your mind.  The moment of truth comes anyway and all you can do is face it, do your best and accept the outcome, whatever it is.

Now, back with my family in Yokohama, the aches and pains are largely gone.  What remains is total gratitude for all the support and encouragement everyone gave me - so many precious memories with my KM "Superhero" family.  Thank you all so much.  Extra special thanks for Guro Fred and Guro Lila, and to my KM Japan instructor team for believing in me.

You Raise Me Up.

 

Being Like Blake

This is Blake.  He's happy and excited.  He's getting ready for his first day of school, so he had this special t-shirt made to let everyone know his intentions.  His goal - MAKE FRIENDS!  He felt like some other kids might be anxious or nervous that they wouldn't fit in or worried that they might not make any friends at school.  So...he took the initiative by announcing to everyone that he is ready and willing to be somebody's new friend.  He's got a positive mindset and he knows the outcome before he even starts.  I don't have any doubts that he made plenty of friends that day.  I also don't have any doubts that his attitude will take him to any success he wants.  I'm so proud of Blake and his empathy and compassion.  I want to be his friend, too.

It's so important to make ourselves available for others and to let them know we are ready and willing to support them, even if they may not be exactly like us.  I also think it's important to be public about our willingness to do so, so people know they can come to us and that we will be their ally if needed.  We all feel a bit nervous in new situations, and it helps so much to have someone like Blake there to welcome us.

In an age where it seems like the world is filled with hatred, anger, violence, loneliness...while Nihilism and tribalism fuel the flames of extremism the world could use a bit more... friendship.  Tolerance.  Love.

Rather than waiting for the world to come to us, I think it's far better to get out there and make it known that we are willing and able to be part of social relationships with others.  We need to learn to be comfortable when speaking out about ourselves and our lives, and to ask for help whenever we need it - especially if we feel depressed, lonely or hopeless.  This is only possible when we believe we can be accepted for who we are without being judged.  Instead of waking up in the morning filled with worry and dread, instead we can try to be open to the possibility of the many good things that could happen - maybe even making a new friend.

I'm not naive (maybe I am, but I hope not as naive as I was on my first day of school).  I know that there are people who would take advantage of an offer of friendship or support and use it out of context.  That said, I still truly believe that if we treat other people with dignity and respect we will usually get the same or more in return.  I believe that we can disagree without hating each other.  I believe that we are all entitled to our beliefs and our happiness, at least to the extent that it doesn't hurt others or our planet.  I believe we should assume positive intent from others unless they give us a strong reason not to.

Regardless of where you live, what you do (as long as it's legal), how much money you make, your religious beliefs, your sexual orientation or gender, your past or your family background or what other people think of you... In my neighborhood, at work, in the dojo or wherever we meet, I'm happy to get a chance to meet someone new.

I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND.  I WILL GIVE YOU A CHANCE AND I HOPE YOU'LL DO THE SAME.

I want to be like Blake.

Don't you?

Locks - FMA Style

In this cycle, we have spent some time on the floor.  Practicing from a pummel position, we've been looking at some ways of breaking the base, moving attention from high line to low line, and using the pummel as a way to seek a finishing lock either standing or on the floor.  FMA differs from MMA, BJJ/Jujitsu or wrestling since there are no submissions.  The end result of every finishing hold is a joint destruction, neck crank or a choke/strangle.

When applying locks, it is important to work in your own comfortable workspace, no higher than the line of your own shoulders and hopefully close to your body on the center line.  This allows for better delivery of the body weight and power than locks done at arms' length.  If the opponent happens to be taller, we should use low line kicks/knees/stomps to bring them down to our workspace rather than attempt to reach higher for the lock.

To improve how to execute effective locks, I suggest the following three step approach:

1) Set the Shape
Every lock is structured with a relationship between our body and our opponent's.  Using our footwork to enter, and our arms and hands to control (sometimes legs, too), we establish the shape of the lock.  This is like loading a bullet in the chamber of a gun.  In practice, it is good to study the locking shapes carefully, since many different shapes can appear in each scenario and we need to choose an effective shape for the ever-changing situation.  Whenever possible, our shape involves causing the other person to have their head/neck/spine out of alignment or twisted, which limits their resistance.

2) Remove the slack
Once the shape is set, we remove all the slack - thereby isolating the joint.  If the joint is not isolated, the shape will move, since the opponent will be actively trying to escape or counter the shape we create. Their arms or legs will wriggle and snake.  The elbows/knees will bend, the opponent will try to bridge or shrimp away, etc.  Once the slack is removed, the isolated joint can be attacked with the maximum pressure and leverage.  Think of  it like a wrench turning a bolt.  If you use a wrench which is too big, the force is lost and the bolt cannot be tightened.

3) Apply Force
When we apply force, it is best to use the largest possible muscle groups since they generate the most power.  Particularly, the best locks are done using the chest, back, hips/pelvis, or thighs.  There is a tendency for beginners to try to apply locks using just the arms.  This can work, but it is slower and riskier than using the body weight and the core.  By applying force this way, even a smaller person can deliver effective results since the major muscle groups and core allow them to use their full body weight for the lock.  Of course, gravity is also an effective force multiplier, and many of the best locks are completed by dropping our body weight onto the opponent or causing them to fall while locked.  In KM, many of our locks are done using the breath exhale/chest expansion as this is very difficult to resist and yields a lot of power.

Done properly, locking represents an effective way of finishing a situation without the need to strike or kick.  In KM we emphasize mobility but it is still important to have at least some basic skills in case a fight ends up on the ground.

Practice Effectively.

Knowing a Little

They caught me.  Again.  I was walking over to my best friend Paul's house and they got me just after I had turned the corner from Summit Avenue onto Adams street.  Their car skidded to a stop and Ron, Donnie and Mike got out ready to have some fun at my expense - again.  The official story was that I fell on the ice and they started kicking me, managing to (accidentally) stomp on my hand and break it in the process.  The truth is I put my hands up to cover my face and got knocked down immediately.  I probably broke my hand when I went down.  I never even threw a single punch in my own defense.

I never made it to Paul's house.  Instead, I crawled home on my hands and knees and through the front door, leaving a sparse, thin trail of blood along the snow and ice the whole way.  My parents wanted to take me to the emergency room.  All I wanted was to find my brother, Casey.  He would know what to do.  Casey was my polar opposite.  Short, squat and powerful, me could max the leg press in the school gym already when he was still just a freshman.  He was a fullback on the football team and everybody in school loved and respected him.

Because we were foster kids, we had different names and most people didn't know he was my brother.  If Ron, Donnie and Mike had known, they definitely would have left me alone.  They found out firsthand who Casey was very soon after this incident.  Casey never told me what he said or did to them, but when the hospital let me out and I went back to school the three of them were terrified of me, as if I had the power of life and death over them.  Ron even offered to carry my books from one class to another.  For the next few years, even after Casey had already graduated, the fact that he was my brother kept all my enemies at bay.  I wanted to be strong like Casey.  Strong enough to never be bullied again.  Strong enough to never be afraid again.

The following summer, when I turned 14, Casey was taken away again and I started martial arts training at an old garage in Glendale Heights.  I've been in the martial arts one way or another ever since.

After a year or so, I no longer felt I needed Casey watching my back, which was good because he was still gone.  Maybe he was in Florida with his real Dad.  We didn't really know.  Foster kids tend to get moved around a lot and we never knew if or when we would see Casey again.  In the end he was gone for 3 years this time and didn't come back again until his senior year in high school.

With a bit of training, I felt confident.  I could do the basic punches and kicks and even a few combinations.  I could twirl a few weapons around and even strike a pose or two.  I fantasized about what I would do if Ron, Donnie and Mike ever came after me again, and I'd daydream about slashing them with a katana or bashing them with nunchaku.  Thankfully, it never happened.

It's been almost 40 years (and four black belts) since I started.  I feel like I've come a long way.  I don't daydream about fighting (well, maybe a little), and in time I've come to use what I learned to help people rather than harm them.  That overconfident 15 year old has been replaced by a middle-aged husband and father that thinks mostly about the weekends and what to cook (pizza anyone?).

I have also realized after nearly 40 years how little I actually know about martial arts.  I have tried to dig deeply into Japanese martial arts, especially kenjutsu/iaijutsu, aikido, judo, jujitsu.  Since 2008 Kali Majapahit has been my passion, and has helped introduce me to Filipino, Malaysian/Indonesian, Thai and Southern Chinese martial arts.  Together, these blend into a flow that seems to make sense to me.  That said, for each system I have studied, I know many people far more skilled than I can ever be - masters who understand things I am just on the verge of discovering.  I still have so much to learn - too much to ever fully grasp in the time I have left.

Knowing a little has also taught me that I want to avoid physical confrontation whenever possible.  There are far too many variables to ever really know the outcome of any such situation.  Things can escalate very quickly and many actions, once done, cannot be undone.  In the worst case, there are potentially permanent effects that could involve prison or worse.  It's just not worth it unless there is really no other option.  Like life insurance, it's better to have it and never need it than to need it and not have it.  The peace of mind I get from knowing myself and my capabilities/limitations is enough for me.  Martial arts has given me so much more than fighting skill.  I use what I have learned every single day.

Ron, Donnie and Mike are probably still living in or around my hometown in suburban Chicago.  If we met again, I'd probably buy them a drink and we could laugh about how stupid we all were back then.

Work In Progress

(thanks for the inspiration Guro Vince)

Modern society has given us very high expectations - we expect perfection.  In movies and on TV, perfect people with perfect smiles always seem to have the perfect answers for every situation.  Every problem is solved in an hour or less (including commercial breaks).  Flawless models grace the covers of magazines or post relentlessly on Instagram (or at least their Photoshopped avatars do).  Perfect athletes achieve superhuman feats on the pitch or in the ring.  Internet billionaires (or their YouTube avatars) live perfect lives of luxury...the list goes on and on.  We are all caught in an endless cycle of "upgrading" to the next better job, girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband, circle of friends, car, house, jacket, ISP, mobile plan, popular celebrity, etc.  It seems we can never truly be satisfied and the duration of our satiety grows shorter almost by the day.

Very often these external influences cause us to expect perfection from ourselves, too.  We can start to believe that our lives should be like those we see on TV and become disappointed when they aren't.  As this disappointment inevitably repeats itself, and it will since none of us can match an imaginary or fabricated reality, we may even spiral into depression, exhausted at trying to "keep up with the Kardashians".  We encounter hardship, we struggle, and we may feel like giving up.

The truth is that we are all a work in progress.  All of us.  Always.  Every single person we meet.  EVERY SINGLE PERSON has something they are working on, something they are struggling with.  In fact, the ones we see as the most successful are often the ones with the greatest insecurities about their success.  Some of the people I thought were the most "successful" turned out to be the most dysfunctional - dealing with serious mental and emotional issues.  Conversely, some of the people with the most daunting obstacles have risen to some of the greatest feats of human achievement despite them (Stephen Hawking anyone?).  We are NOT absolutes.  Rather, we are a messy, fascinating combination of both crisis and opportunity; hope and despair.

First, we must accept that this is our natural human state of being - flux. We are NOT perfect and perfection, since it is static, cannot possibly be our natural state of being.  We are meant to be on the Journey Toward Perfection.  Embracing our connectedness, we then realize that all of us are on a journey - none of us have arrived - and it is our love, empathy and compassion that fuels those around us to help them continue moving forward.  They, in turn, fuel us.  Together, we rise.

Likewise, I know I haven't failed because I'm not done yet.  I haven't given up. The final results are not out.  There is still time to improve and go farther.  There is still a chance to make a difference and push my life in the right direction toward my goals.  I can still contribute to others and to myself.

We could each choose to wake up every morning filled with dread and worried about what bad things could happen or what could go wrong.  Instead, we could choose to face each day with hopefulness and anticipation at all the endless possible things that could go RIGHT.  Even the smallest positive outcome is worthy of our gratitude.  Even a little bit of change brings us that much closer and shows that we are making progress.  Never forget to celebrate the good, just as we learn from and let go of the bad.

Success is mostly a by-product of perseverance.  It helps me to remember I'm not done yet.  Neither are you.  Not even close.

Please excuse the dust - work in progress.

Massugu

This expression, 真直 (Massugu), is one of my favorites in Japanese.  It is used to indicate "straight" when giving directions, but taken alone, the characters mean "true" and "direct".  When saying this about a person's character, 正直 (Shojiki) is used with the same the implication and it is usually meant as a compliment.

All too often, we have a way of complicating things.  We choose the indirect route, the long way round, or the compromise.  We fail to express ourselves openly, leaving others to guess at our intentions or desires.  We shy away from the tasks at hand, procrastinating until the result becomes unavoidable.  Our inertia gets the better of us. We over-analyze and fail to take action.

Directness is a vital element of success.  It puts pressure on action; on DELIVERY.  It forces us to get moving and keep moving.  It denies distraction and helps simplify.  Whether on or off the mats, the decisiveness connected with being direct is a powerful tool when we master it.

It can be very hard to do or say the right thing at the right time.  It requires a certain confidence and courage to stand up and deliver your own opinion, especially when it may be unpopular.  Sometimes we may imagine that bluntness will be poorly received, when in fact, telling the truth directly is often refreshing and genuine for everyone involved.

In his "Book of Five Rings", Miyamoto Musashi writes "In the strategy of my school, keep your mind and body straight and make your opponent go through contortions and twist about.  The essence is to defeat him when, in his mind, he is pivoting and twisting.  You should examine this well."  Of course, he means to keep your balance and structure, while taking it away from your opponent - the essence of all martial arts.  In daily life, too, it is important to keep balance and not be drawn into "pivoting and twisting" despite other people around us doing so.  There is a lot of value in practicing directness.

In the end it is the training, daily training, which creates our own habits and, ultimately, our own reality.

Keep going. Directly.

Pick Three

"Work. Sleep. Fitness. Family. Friends. Pick Three."  

I found the title of Randi Zuckerberg's new book (yes, THAT Zuckerberg) intriguing.  It certainly simplifies things.  It tells you right upfront that you simply won't have time to be everything to everyone.  It forces you to choose; to prioritize.

Maybe the truth is that we prioritize anyway, without it even being a conscious choice.  We somehow determine what is important to us and we go with it, perhaps without even thinking it through or weighing the opportunity costs of one versus another.

It also warns us of the risk of being a workaholic - you are likely to lose (at least) one of the other things you wanted (family? sleep? fitness? friends?)  Personally, I love to work but I surely don't want to be remembered as a workaholic - definitely not by my family or friends.

I hope this book digs deeper into understanding how to find balance in our lives.  I think many of us are desperately searching for some way to get everything we want (or think we want) out of life.  We are taught by MSM to want it all - and we do.  I spent years on far too little sleep, and I think it surely didn't make me happier or healthier, for example.

What would a similar book about martial arts be about?

striking/kicking. grappling/throwing/locking. health/longevity. culture/tradition/spirituality. combat effectiveness/practicality. pick three?  Where do weapons fit in??

I don't know about you, but I want them all.  Over the course of my life I've been focused on some aspects more than others.  Some, like culture/tradition have been with me since the beginning.  I learned my first words of Japanese on the mats in 1981.  Others are far more recent.  My insights into health/longevity are mostly derived from studies in Hilot (Filipino homeopathy) and Chinese medicine with Guro Fred Evrard.  While my early teachers taught me meditation (specifically Zazen), I have deepened my spiritual focus as I am getting older, and Guro Fred Evrard's influence on my Buddhist and Occult training has been significant.  What would your list look like??

Anyway, Randi Zuckerberg's book made the list.  I'll post again once I've read it.  If you read it first, send me a note and tell me what you think.

See you at class.

More or Less

Apologies to my non-American readers.  The coins above represent two of the most common in circulation: on the left is a nickel (5 cents).  On the right is a dime (10 cents).  The point being made is simple - the smaller coin is worth double that of the larger coin.

We are often taught to believe more is better: more money, more power, more food, more friends.  There is pressure from mainstream media to think we don't have enough - that we can never have enough.  This is usually not the case.

With some few exceptions - compassion, kindness, martial arts training (hint, hint) - to name a few, more is not better.  In many cases, LESS is better.

In a very interesting study, dietitians examined why the problem of obesity was so rampant in America, while the French diet was loaded with butter, sugar and foie gras but resulted in far less statistical obesity.  The answer?  Portion sizes.  Despite a diet of much richer food, French people typically consumed far fewer calories on average than their American peers.  Quality definitely won over quantity.

In this modern age of social media, we are thought to be "successful" if we have many friends on LinkedIn or Facebook; if we have lots of followers/views on Instagram or Snapchat or Youtube or TikTok or whatever.  Many of those people we have never even met, and it would be a big overstatement to refer to them as "friends" or "followers".

Regardless of how long we have known someone, if he or she is not there in our time of need, or doesn't truly have our best interests in mind and hopes for our success, they cannot be relied upon as a friend.   I am not advocating cutting off everyone who has not proven their loyalty (although that's also not a bad idea).  I am, however, suggesting that we always be prudent in recognizing that not everyone we engage with is our friend, and not everyone we have known for a long time (classmate, same neighborhood, long-term work colleague, etc.) wishes us success, even if we wish it for them ourselves.  Remember the first rule of boxing, "protect yourself at all times".

Even in the martial arts world, there is a danger in wanting to know too many techniques, too many variations.  This always comes at a risk of getting confused or of not knowing what to do or how the techniques fit together.  Repetition, not variety, builds fluency and muscle memory.  Bruce Lee famously quipped, "Fear not the man who knows 10,000 kicks.  Fear the man who has one one kick 10,000 times."

Let go of the illusion that more is always better.  Seek only the truth of everything and everyone and "rightsize" constantly.  Be grateful for what you have and use it fully.

Train hard.

Secret Weapon

Many people, myself included, start martial arts training for self defense.  We read about all the violence these days or see disturbing stories on the news.  We don't want to feel scared or intimidated.  Maybe we've been a victim of school bullying (in my case) or domestic violence or road rage.  Maybe we've even been mugged or robbed or stalked or, God forbid, raped.  We hope that martial arts training will give us confidence, but also real, practical skills to use if we or our loved ones are ever at risk.

As we start to learn the techniques we are often seeking some "secret weapon" or "secret lethal technique", a one-shot move that will stop any attacker any time.  Hopefully with a minimum of physical strength, skill or training needed.  Even in movies, we marvel at the "5 point palm exploding heart technique" and wonder if such a thing could really exist (see Dim Mak) and, of course, if we could ever learn it.  Secretly, we long for the power of life and death over others so that we never have to feel afraid.

In the Kali Majapahit curriculum, students learn a lot of different subsystems and skills.  Ultimately, the goal is to develop martial artists that are highly adaptable: fighters who can strike, kick, lock and throw; fighters who can handle almost any weapon and adapt anything in their environment to be a force multiplier for self-defense; fighters who understand physiology, physics, bio-mechanics, psychology and strategy; fighters who are graceful but also strong and highly motivated to survive any encounter. Kali Majapahit is taught to elite special forces and law enforcement agencies in many locations, where operators' lives are at risk.  It is also brought to corporations and the public by way of R.E.D. (Recognize and Evade Danger) training.

The angst-ridden teenager in me still loves the idea of secret techniques, even though I know for the most part it is fantasy.  More importantly, over the many years of training I discovered the REAL "secret weapon" of martial arts.

Empowerment.

Yep, empowerment.  A commitment to the journey of martial arts is a way of empowering yourself to change.  To grow and to be more than who you were.  Yes, it is a way to learn practical self-defense.  It's a way to learn all of the fighting attributes I listed above (including Dim Mak, shhh...).  More importantly, it's a way of developing good healthy lifestyle habits like exercise, nutrition and self-confidence that keep us going even in times of high physical, mental or emotional stress.  As we all know, even a white belt outranks someone sitting on their couch.  Making a commitment to becoming better is the first step toward success.

The way we teach Kali Majapahit helps us set and achieve goals every three-month cycle.  We introduce new material, train it, and then test for proficiency.  We repeat this process again and again, reinforcing in each student that they can set and hit goals in their lives.  What you can do in the dojo you can do anywhere.  THIS is what empowers us to change our lives.  We don't just believe in ourselves, we prove it to ourselves.

People often ask me if I have ever had occasion to use my martial arts training "in real life".  I always answer that I use my training every single day.  They may laugh and think I'm being glib.  The reality is that while I haven't needed to resolve a physical altercation in 30 years or so, the discipline, self-control and confidence of martial arts training has helped me be a better person at work and at home for all of my adult life.  It has brought me stability, peace and a depth of spiritual understanding I could not have had with anything else. Martial arts awakened my heart with compassion and empathy, and these became the cornerstones of my training.   I would not be here today without what I have learned.

Martial arts is a precious investment that I made in myself that continues to pay big dividends all the time.  Now, as an instructor, I have a mission to share these tools with my students so that they too can improve the quality of their lives in any way they choose, using these methods to have the life they really want and the happiness they deserve.  It is never too late to change.

It is often said that success is the best revenge.  To everyone who bullied me growing up, my happy life is proof that I won.  No fists needed.

Now you know the secret.

The Power of the Yellow Belt

"The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step." - Japanese Proverb

In many martial arts, including ours, yellow belt is the first rank test a student takes.  In Kali Majapahit, this is usually about 3 months into their journey - after the first cycle of training.  For me, my yellow belt test was done in Singapore back in 2008 at the old school on Yan Kit Road.  It's been a long time since then and I've taken many other tests along the way, but I often feel like the yellow belt test was the most important of all.  Yes, in some ways, as important as the black belt test.

Why?

When I started in KM I was already a black belt in 2 other systems (Ninjutsu and Iaijutsu), and getting ready for black belt testing in a third (Yoshinkan Aikido - which I passed in 2009 - Osu!).  I was at a crossroads.  I wanted to do something new and was fascinated by Guro Fred and the KM approach.  At the same time, it was hard to step out of my comfort zone in Japanese traditional martial arts, which I had been doing for over 25 years.  I doubted whether I could adjust to something so different.  It was a struggle.

For the first few months my arms and legs felt like lead.  My footwork was always wrong.  ALWAYS. I had no flow, no presence and no idea what I was doing.  Everyone else was better than me at everything.  I was ashamed and kept thinking that after so many years of studying other martial arts I should be...better.  Still I kept going to class twice a week.

When I took my yellow belt test I did my best but still I expected to fail.

I got my feedback after the test and of course I had a lot to improve.  However, there were some brights spots, too.  I PASSED.  I was so happy and proud.  Walking home from the school that Saturday I knew something was different.

Until that moment I was a tourist.  I was checking it out, but I was not invested in my outcome.  I had not committed to change.  I didn't expect to succeed and focused all my energy on feeling bad about what I COULDN'T do rather than encouraging myself for what I COULD do.  I let negativity and self-doubt control me.  I couldn't see my future in this new art.

After the test, things changed.  This was my first milestone and I had not only proven to myself that I could start a new journey (I was already over 40 years old) but that I could do well enough at it to pass a test - even a beginners' test.  I was recognized and acknowledged for making progress.  This meant so much to me.  I had proven to myself that I could do it, even by taking painful, baby steps.  Even though my footwork was often wrong,  I was moving forward. That's what mattered.

It's been nearly 11 years since that test and I continue to follow the path I set in motion back then.  I continue to prove to myself that I can overcome my laziness and the many excuses for not going to class.  I continue to seek the positive in myself and others and celebrate the good things I do and the good habits I establish.  I continue to reinforce my awareness that effort -> outcome, and I prove to myself again and again that I can set and achieve the goals I set.

I OWN MY LIFE.

You own yours, too.

Celebrate every step of your journey.  I'm so proud of you.  You should be, too.

 

Important Matters

I really like the above.  First of all, because I'm a hugger.  I am not afraid to hug people I care about and not afraid to tell them regularly how important they are to me.  I think hugging is a natural, important form of communication.  Much of my attitude on hugging came from learning about Amma, the hugging saint.  If you've been hugged by her you will never forget.  You will be forever changed.  She is living proof of how profoundly powerful (daresay life-changing) such a simple act can be.

Also important to me in the above picture is how it highlights the importance of showing others that they matter.  As I put when I shared it on Facebook, "in the end, mattering is all that matters."  For so many of us these days the subtle message is that we don't matter.  We are stuck in long lines of people or cars, surrounded by people we don't know.  We work remotely.  We eat alone.  If we have moved away from where we grew up we may find it very hard to develop new friendships.  People prefer text or social media to actual conversations.  Standard font eMail is preferred to letter-writing.  Many young students cannot even read or write in cursive any more (but they can type or text 100 wpm).  It feels like the more overcrowded the world becomes, the more lonely we feel.  I personally believe that feeling like we don't matter is a common ingredient of the downward spiral into depression and, unfortunately, sometimes even leads to suicide.

Human beings have a desperate, primal need to MATTER.  We want to feel important and we want our lives to have meaning.  Conciously or not, we are all seeking our Purpose in this incarnation.

This is one of many things I love about martial arts.
As I have written before, martial arts practice begins and ends with a bow.  This is so much more than just a sign of respect.  It is an affirmation and acknowledgement of our legacy, our dojo, our teacher(s), our training partner(s) and even ourselves.  In the bow, we are showing that we matter.

We know that to become really good at martial arts, especially Kali Majapahit, we NEED each other.  We have to be trained by others, especially in our boxing and stickwork.  We depend on each other to help us get better.  Of course, we do our best to train our partners when it is our turn.  Like whetstones - steel sharpening steel - we push each other to give 100% during class and to correct each little movement, knowing that our partners will do the same for us.  We build deep, long-lasting friendships because we really see the essence of who we are - under pressure we see what we are really made of.  We test ourselves again and again and each time we forge ourselves into stronger people than we were before.  The lessons don't get easier - we get stronger.

The dojo is a very special place.  Using the gloves and mitts we experience contact - giving and taking - and project/receive emotional intensity from each other.  We give and get personal attention throughout the practice.  In the dojo we cannot be invisible.  There is no "hiding in the back".

I want to believe that this practice carries over to the rest of our lives, outside the dojo.  We learn to be more aware of others and to acknowledge them with our eye contact and our body language.  We learn to express ourselves physically and be comfortable in others' personal space, just as we become comfortable when they are in ours.  We become more...human.  I for one think this is something the World needs now more than ever.

Go forth and remember that YOU MATTER.  Make sure to let other people know they matter, too.

U B U

For those of you not familiar, Stefani Germanotta goes by the professional name Lady Gaga.  She is super-talented and has a powerful singing voice.  Beyond that, she continues to challenge the status quo and use her influence for positive social change.  I LOVE LADY GAGA.

I really enjoyed "A Star Is Born" despite it being a 4th remake of a classic story, and was very happy to see Lady Gaga and her fellow songwriters acknowledged with an Oscar from the Academy for Best Original Song for "Shallow" sung with Bradley Cooper.  My favorite version here.
Moreover, I loved her Oscar acceptance speech, an excerpt of which bears repeating here:

"There's a discipline for passion, and it's not about how many times you get rejected or you fall down, or you're beaten up. It's about how many times you stand up, and are brave, and you keep going."

This is a very important message for all of us.  The photo above shows a Facebook Group set up by some of her detractors in college called "Stefani Germanotta you will never be famous".  After 9 Grammys, multiple Golden Globes, a BAFTA, a few Guiness World Records and now an Oscar I guess we can definitively say they were WRONG about her.

Nobody knows our journey, our struggles, our challenges and our victories better than ourselves.
Along the way, again and again, people will tell us we can't.  They will laugh (and sometimes even spit) in our faces and try to make us give up.  Sometimes, like with Gaga, it is even our boyfriend/girlfriend that fails to encourage us.  In the end, as Gaga says, we must stand up, be brave and keep going.

We all love the limelight, but we tend to forget how much hard work and perseverance it takes to face rejection again and again and keep believing in ourselves enough to drive forward.  Not all of us are destined for fame (and I think it is only ever a by-product, never the goal).  We are, however, destined to be WHO WE ARE, and it takes hard work and courage to become, and continue to be, that best version of ourselves.

U B U means "You Be You".  The best version of you.  100% You. 24/7/365 You.  Unapologetically, unashamedly YOU.  Be brave enough to fight for your dream, whatever it is.  Work as hard as you have to.  Other people can (and should) encourage and support us, but we are the only one 100% guaranteed to be with us every step of the way.  This means it is important to love ourselves, take care of ourselves, and be our own best friends and cheerleaders.  So many people I know are far too hard on themselves, which only makes stressful situations that much worse.

Thank you Lady Gaga for working hard.  For not giving up.  For fighting for your dream. For believing in yourself.  And for reminding us all to do the same.

Dive Into In The Deep Waters. Keep Swimming.

Bricks

(thanks for the inspiration KGW)

Everybody loves Legos, right?  I can't think of too many kids, myself included, that didn't spend hours making all kinds of things with them.  Of course, we would start by trying to make the things we saw on the boxes. We'd pore over the manuals, step-by-step, and try our best to get the final product to look correct.  Of course, at some point we would always disassemble and start making new things of our own.  That's really what Legos are about.

I even loved the Lego movie, since it also hit on themes of fostering creativity and innovation - necessary aspects of every happy and successful person.

Martial arts are quite a bit like Legos, too.

Legos come in pieces. So do techniques.  Unique shapes, colors and attributes are found in almost every set.  At first, each piece is already interesting on its own.  We examine each piece as a discrete block: tall or flat, round or square, number of pegs, and so on.  Later, we imagine how to assemble them to create what we want.  We go from conventional designs like houses, cars, animals and the like into rocket ships, aliens and everything in between.

Techniques are also much more interesting when we consider how they can be combined to create different effects.  The more we learn and understand the attributes of each technique or tool, the better able we are to find the right place to put it in our flow.   Over time and with diligent practice, we become better able to express our thinking through how we move.  We combine and reassemble techniques dynamically to do what we want at any time.  We FLOW.  We can even imagine what pieces we might need for a particular objective we have in mind by imagining the attributes the pieces need to fit together.  Yes, we can do this thinking and problem solving with martial arts techniques too.

Of course, when building structures, the basics still apply.  We don't build buildings from the top down, we build them from the bottom up.  More about that topic here.  And here. A practical example here.

I used to visit friends who always had special sets and pieces I didn't have.  We'd trade and share Legos all the time, trying (not always succeeding) to make sure we got back and returned all the pieces when we were done.

In the Martial arts, we attend seminars, go to camps, watch videos and share with others to better see what movements they have that can enhance what we know.  The sharing and fellowship is truly one of the best parts of the training.

As Emmet Brickowski, protagonist of the Lego Movie, correctly points out "You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe.  And you are capable of amazing things.  Because you are the Special.  And so am I.  And so is everyone.  The prophecy is made up, but it's also true.  It's about all of us.  Right now, it's about you.  And you still can change everything."

Everything is Awesome!

The Boomerang Effect

When I was maybe nine or ten years old I got a boomerang as a present from someone who visited Australia.  I was fascinated, and immediately I went to the park to test it out.  Time and again I lobbed the boomerang and it never came back.  Of course, nothing is ever so simple.  There's a lot to learn about boomerang throwing technique.  In fact, there's a lot of science behind it.  Maybe all Aussie kids innately know how to do this but we Chicagoans certainly do not.  After reading a bunch about it (using encyclopedias, since the Internet did not exist back then) I applied some practice and eventually was able to get it to come back pretty regularly.

Aside from its original intended use as a weapon, there is a lot to learn from the humble boomerang.

First, you must LET GO
The boomerang obviously cannot travel and return without you first letting go (via throwing).  There is an obvious metaphor here in that most of our life is like this.  Grasping onto anything too tightly keeps it from accomplishing its goal.  This applies to emotions as much as it does to people.  Learning the importance of letting go is one of the foundation achievements toward attaining happiness.

The Necessity of TRUST
Of the many things we must let go of, FEAR is probably the first and most important.  Fear and worry dominate us and keep us in a state of inaction and paralysis.  Moment by moment, day by day our lives escape us and we fail to act - because we worry and are afraid.  We fear so many things: rejection, anger, loss, sadness.  Most of what we fear never happens anyway.  Regardless, the feelings are real and can keep us from working towards the happiness we deserve.

When I first started to try my boomerang, I was hesitant to throw it because I worried that it wouldn't return.  That would make me feel inadequate - like a failure.  Of course it didn't return.  With a heavy sigh I walked over and got it, hoping nobody was watching.  As I kept trying, I started to worry that I would never actually be able to do it.  Maybe the boomerang was broken or defective.  That was far easier to accept than the truth - my own lack of understanding and practice was keeping me from success.

It would have been easy to give up and hide the boomerang away in the back of my closet or under the bed.  Somehow, I had faith and trust that eventually I could figure it out.  Not only did I practice, I studied other sources of information until I got a better training plan together.  With some additional time investment, I learned how to do it, theory and all, and felt proud of the accomplishment.  I was glad I didn't give up.

It's important to trust in ourselves and our ability to achieve, given enough study and practice.  Most worthwhile skills do not come easy, and learning the value of persistence/perseverance sets us up for success better than almost anything else.  This is not arrogance or overconfidence.  Rather, it is a simple awareness of the relationship between preparation, effort and outcome that underpins every skill we ever master.

In relationships, too, it is easy to imagine that every new person we engage will have the same flaws as the last.  We tell ourselves that because it didn't work out last time, nothing will ever work out in future.  The Monkey Mind deceives us into believing we shouldn't trust others when in fact trust is the cornerstone of all happy relationships.

Everything Starts with YOU
Standing there holding the boomerang tightly and waiting for something to happen is ridiculous.  It can't come back if you don't throw it.  However, many people are waiting for someone/something to "complete" them or make them happy.  They want someone to love them but take no action to love themselves.  In many cases the same people are afraid to go out, meet new people, or allow new relationships to bloom.  They are frozen with fear and worry, never getting past feeling sorry for themselves and wishing someone would magically appear to "save" them.  So much time is lost just...waiting...

• The emotions we give are the emotions we get - good or bad.
• The love we give comes back to us.
• To forgive ourselves we must forgive others FIRST.
• When we care about others they become empowered to care about us.

It is the responsibility of every one of us to share happiness, love, joy, compassion to everyone wherever and whenever we can.  Each action, however small, starts the wheel turning and ultimately brings those same good things back to us.  Helping others helps us.  Saving others saves ourselves.

Don't wait.  Start now.  Help make the world a little brighter.

Throw the boomerang.  It will return.  I promise.

5 Keys to Using Impact Weapons

Lately, I've been reminding students of the basics of using impact weapons, such as the rattan sticks we handle in Kali Majapahit.  For review, here they are:

1. Extend Your Arm
2. Hit with the Tip
3. Use the Edge
4. Flex Your Wrist
5. From your Body, Back to your Body

1. Extend Your Arm
Sticks are centrifugal force weapons.  Imagining the shoulder as the center of a circle, using a ball joint design our shoulders swing our arms in circular rotation.  Math and physics show us that the greatest impact force will be generated from the largest circle.  Use the maximum possible reach of your weapon to keep the most distance from your opponent.

2. Hit with the Tip
Similar to point 1, the maximum velocity (impact force) will be at the edge of the circle, which means the last 3cm or so of the stick is the optimum spot to use for striking.  Blocking is usually done as close to the hands (base of the stick) as is safely possible, to insure stability, while striking should be done with the tip.

3. Use The Edge
First of all, Filipino Martial Arts are known for the use of the rattan stick, however at their foundation they are blade arts (as per the barong on our logo).  The stick is usually used as a cheaper/safer proxy for the blade when training.  This is not to say that sticks are not valid combat tools.  In fact, the strong Filipino hardwood sticks (cocobolo, gijo, kamagong) are every bit as deadly.  However, for training we emphasize using the 2nd knuckle line which is where an edge would be if the stick were a sword.  Not only does this allow us to transition seamlessly between striking and cutting tools, it also creates a more powerful body mechanic by aligning our arms and shoulders with the power generated from our hip rotation.

4. Flex Your Wrist
We sometimes refer to this as "casting" since it is similar to the motion of fly casting for fishing.  The wrist is flexed forward, further accelerating the tip of the stick and extending the diameter of the circle.  Done properly with an impact weapon, the tip should "snap" like cracking a whip.  Particularly for wrist-rotation striking like vertical redondo, witik or abanico, the wrist flexion can add a lot of additional tip velocity.

5. From your body, Back to your Body
This is also called "chambering".  To generate power, we need to transfer energy to the hand/wrist from the feet via the hips.  The best way to do this is to have the tool start in contact with the body, chambered at either the shoulder or waist.  As the feet push and drive the knees, hip rotation can occur and this energy can be delivered through the shoulders to the wrist and ultimately, the stick.  Once impact is delivered, the tool should "return to base" so the process can be repeated as needed.
Likewise, all punches should return to guard just as all kicks should return to stance.  In chamber, we have the maximum variety of possible responses to deliver any attack or defend any attack from an opponent.

• Note that for the high guard position (sticks on the shoulders), elbows should be tucked in, armpits closed and punyo (base end of the stick) pointed at the opponent.
• Note that for the side guard position (used in Cabca 2,3) the stick should rest on the upper arm midway between shoulder and elbow, punyo again pointing forward.
• Note that for the low portion of the side guard (cabca 4, sinawali 6) the stick should rest on the hip/waist (on the belt) rather than under the arm in the armpit. 

Review and Remember.

Inside Outside

Getting started in martial arts is a great accomplishment.  Just by coming to class a few times per week you are ahead of the game.  As the saying goes "even a white belt is higher than sitting on the couch".  Going from intent to action is the first step in changing your life and becoming the person you want to be.

Especially in martial arts, which is all about goal setting and goal achievement, the first steps make such a big difference not just physically but mentally.  We feel better when we do things we know are helping us be better.  Investing in ourselves just feels good, doesn't it?

At the beginning we may have a few aches and pains as we start using new muscles in new ways.
It's natural to get a bit confused by new ways of moving, new terminology, new training tools.  All of this is part of the journey.  Over time, these become as natural to us as our own names.

In class, we move fast.  A 2-hour lesson can cover a lot of material including sticks, empty hand, knife defense, boxing, kickboxing and more.  It can be hard to remember everything we did.  It's OK.  We try to illustrate our principles and concepts through the various drills, but even with an 8-hour class it wouldn't be enough time to master them all.

Why?

Simple.
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO PRACTICE OUTSIDE OF CLASS.

As instructors we try to show you what you need to learn.  In class we try to give you enough practice to help get the basic ideas embedded.  This is so you can remember enough to train outside of class and have a good idea of what to work on.  In our classes we show the various principles and mechanics of what we do including footwork, posture, distance, body mechanics, focus, targeting and how to chain techniques together in logical and efficient sequences.  After that, what matters most is repetition, plain and simple.  The more you train the better you get.

so, what are the key takeaways?

COME TO CLASS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
We will keep introducing new stuff and showing you how to train it.  If you are not there you will not know.  If you are sick/injured, try to come anyway even if you can't train physically.  Take notes, pictures and video.  If that is impossible, ask someone else (or one of the instructors) what we did.

TRAIN AT HOME
More is better, but even 10-15 minutes a day is enough to see big gains in a few months' time.  Meet other students outside of class to review, drill and practice.  Video yourself and watch what you do.  Stretch after the bath or shower.  Pick up your sticks for a quick twirl while you watch the news.

As for me, I'm training constantly.  I'm always thinking about techniques and combinations when I am on the train or walking around.  Honestly, I dream about Kali. :-)
You need not go to my extreme (but it's OK if you do - I understand).

The years teach much the days never know.

Keep training.

All it Takes

Everywhere we look everyone looks and sounds...perfect.  Beautiful models in magazine ads, stunning people on every TV show.  Picture-perfect romances in every movie.  So many people with such better lives on every social media outlet fanning out seemingly endless pictures of their amazing houses, cars, vacations and meals we secretly know we can never have.  People announcing their new power jobs on LinkedIn, respected for their elite knowledge and skills that we can never measure up to.  Everyone everywhere having more fun than we are.  Somehow it all can conspire to make us feel small, worthless and insignificant.  Believing we are failures by comparison we fall into anxiety and depression, feeling woefully inadequate at every aspect of our lives.  THIS IS NOT THE TRUTH.  In fact, nothing could be further from it.  As a human being, we inherit a sacred birthright.

YOU ARE ENOUGH
YOU MATTER
YOU ARE WORTH LOVING
YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS
YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

Every one of us, at the basic spiritual level, are equal.  Completely, totally, genetically equal.
Every one of us has within us the power to make the world a better place.  The pain, hardship and rejection we have faced gives us the ability to have empathy for others and show them our compassion.  We gain the wisdom of knowing that hurt doesn't last forever.

The worst part of modern messaging is the pressure to divide us from each other.  Our differences in appearance, social status, wealth, education, religion, sexuality, political beliefs, career choices are highlighted in an effort to make us feel jealous or resentful of each other.  Their aim is to break the inherent bonds which connect us and to deny us our human birthright, the same birthright our other brothers and sisters have.

Fight Back.  Resist the messages.  They can say whatever they want, but they can only divide us if we allow them.

Start small if you must.  Start by showing compassion to those around you.  Change the world right in front of you.  Resist the pressure to be cold to each other and instead light the world up a little brighter with your smile, your words and your compassion.  Let yourself care.  Don't ever let pain or hardship close your heart to the joy of helping others.

It's never too late.