The world has become very polarized in recent years. It feels like somehow public opinions have shifted to extremes, as the media accentuates our differences rather than highlight what the majority of us have in common.
On one hand, many people excuse their lack of critical thinking or research skill by claiming that their opinions, however fantastical, should be not just protected but embraced. On the other hand, we see an unprecedented and draconian crackdown on the freedom of speech itself which, for Americans like me, is the bedrock of our democratic society. Many people now falsely believe that in addition to their right to have and voice their opinion, that they should be allowed to impose their beliefs on other people against their will, denying them the same equal freedom of expression.
The Truth, as always, lies somewhere in the middle.
Perhaps in a well-meaning effort to avoid offending so-called "marginal" members of our society, we have failed to challenge even the most outrageous viewpoints. People are allowed to excuse intellectual laziness, a lack of curiosity and indulgence in fantasy by hiding behind a seemingly impenetrable wall of entitlement and malaise that somehow make living in modern society challenging at best, impossible at worst.
Everyone, in his/her/they/their own way now has an increasingly desperate need to be "seen". To be validated and endorsed by society and treated like the unique and special snowflakes they know they are. As brilliantly stated by arch-villain Syndrome in the 2004 movie "The Incredibles", "Everyone can be super...and when everyone is super, no one will be".
Modern young people identify with a long list of tick-boxes covering every perceived limitation, using these excuses as a way of avoiding anything challenging or bothersome. In fact, not claiming all your potential disabilities (ADHD/spectrum, anxiety, stress, gender fluidity, etc) may be a disadvantage since these labels conveniently afford a variety of benefits (including actual monetary benefits). Many of them are highly subjective and extremely difficult to validate, so in effect, you are if you say you are. I can't think of anyone (including myself) who has not been plagued by anxiety, for example, but at what point would it be considered debilitating?
This results in a society where people continue to claim exemptions and benefits they may not truly need, thereby denying these scarce resources to others who might need them more. Everyone ends up calling in sick at the slightest hint of inconvenience or bother, and society becomes just a series of half-hearted excuses for why we just "didn't feel like it" on any given day. Of course, real mental health issues are very serious, and need effective coping strategies. It is here that the lines get blurry.
In the end, the crisis of society has been a loss of the essential quality of maturity - Resilience
As my dear friend "Physics Man" correctly pointed out over our recent pizza lunch (where we solve all the problems of the world over pizza slices and draft beer), resilience requires resistance.
We talked about our fathers' (and their fathers') generation. They grew up in hardship and war and faced tremendous challenges to survive. Many endured unbelievable tragedy and loss and yet still found a way to raise us with abundance. They faced life head-on and stalwartly kept moving forward like the heroes they were. They hardly complained, but rather just got on with things. They did not document their victories with selfies. The extreme resistance they faced resulted in their unbreakable resilience. You simply cannot have one without the other.
In the past, we were free to challenge each other's opinions. In academics, debate and discussion were key aspects of learning and we were expected to develop strong critical thinking and logical skills to be able to make and defend our perspectives. We learned to argue our merits on the basis of logic but also on the basis of emotion (morality) and to bring the data to back up what we believed. Outrageous claims and hypotheses were quickly debunked and, hopefully, we all learned how to engage in the spirited dialog that leads to understanding.
Somewhere along the way, however, in our desire to create "safe spaces" and avoid "triggering" people, we stopped challenging each other. Not only were we expected to respect others rights to have opinions, and to voice opinions, but we were expected to tolerate them and embrace them, however fantastical. In line with the law of unintended consequences, by failing to provide any resistance to ideas which were clearly devoid of merit we created a society where we no longer become mentally resilient.
Yes, in a spirit of compassion we should allow space for the vulnerable to be themselves. We must grant them a voice and empower them to stand up and be proud of their authenticity. We should defend and protect those in need. This includes not only the right to an opinion but also the right to voice it. Without this, our society can never prosper.
At the same time, we must offer resistance as needed. This must not be permitted to be done with malice or cruelty. It can and should be done with directness and kindness. We must continue to challenge fantasy (and misinformation) with truthfulness, data and logic. We must continue to challenge each other to be able to contribute to society as much as possible; to be net givers rather than net takers wherever possible. To find a way to move forward despite limitations. To challenge ourselves and each other to do and be more - to strive for our true personal excellence. This means working toward a positive and inclusive society that does not excuse mediocrity or laziness but requires that each of us continue to do the very best we can, together. This is also compassion. There is virtue in achievement and resilience.
Herein lies the martial arts.
My training has enabled me to face all of life's challenges and my own limitations and rise to meet them. Rather than making excuses, I developed the discipline to find my way and navigate the various challenges I faced, both internal and external. I failed a lot, and still do. Nevertheless, I became strong enough to stand back up and keep going. I am a believer that martial arts is a great way to build the resistance that helps us become truly resilient to the hardships of life.
Likewise, the study of zen constantly reminds us of our own infinite smallness. This is so important, lest we succumb to the ego and start to believe in our own importance. Yes, we have the right to opinions and yes, we have the right for those opinions to be voiced. However, for the most part, our opinions, however valid, are of no importance to anyone but ourselves. The quest for truth and wisdom is indeed a solitary one.
As I approach my 59th birthday, I will continue to build my resilience to the challenges of my life. I will abhor excuses and try to face my failings with grace. I will continue to develop my opinions and remind myself to keep them to myself unless asked. I will do my best to avoid trying to persuade others to follow my beliefs and allow them to have their own. I will continue to respectfully challenge others and require them to develop their keen logical minds as I develop mine. I will remind myself often of my insignificance and the wonder I feel at the privilege of being alive. I will continue to love and allow myself to be loved.
See you at class.
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