Treatment

(thanks for the inspiration BC)

Have a look at this story posted by one of my Kali sisters.

It tells of a man whose wife left him because he didn't put his dishes in the sink or dishwasher.  I know.  I thought the same thing --- MASSIVE OVERREACTION.  But, is it?

Even the author came to the understanding that it was not the act itself, which was trivial, it was the implication of the act that made her realize she was not treasured or valued; that she was considered subservient to him.  This is ultimately what made her decide to leave.

None of us are alone - we are surrounded by people who care for us and contribute to who we are and who we ultimately become.  If we choose well, we are surrounded by such people - friends, co-workers, family, partners, teachers who inspire us and who make us want to be better than who we are right now.

Largely as products of our environment, we depend on others for our sense of self.  Abusive relationships are typified by denying the victim their self-worth and identity as someone worthy of love and attention.  There is no sin more cruel.

As martial artists we know that what we do begins and ends with respect - for ourselves, for each other, for the sacred art we study.  Training together empowers us to live our lives fully, and our study of zen delivers to us the understanding of each precious detail of our lives and those who share it with us.

This story made me sad - Later, it filled me with hope.  I hope this can encourage everyone to appreciate the little things people do for us each day, to feel overflowing gratitude for everyone who shines a light into our loneliness, and to acknowledge that our being is connected completely to those around us.  It is not just those closest to us, but the people we encounter along the way.  As this story points out, even the smallest of actions can convey love, respect, acceptance, equality.

Recently one of my close relatives posted about losing a friend to suicide, and the emptiness and regret she felt after knowing he was gone and wishing she could have done something about it. We cannot turn back the hands of time, but we can always try our best to give those around us our attention - a human touch.  Sometimes that's all a person needs to feel better.  I have no doubt she is kind to everyone, including him, but I also have no doubt that each of us can try a little harder to make the world a better, kinder place.  The Way of the Peaceful Warrior is Compassion.

This story made me desperate to treat those people around me just a little bit better than before. This treatment can fix a lot of ills - illness in relationships with everyone around us. Your smile, your eyes, and your words can save more lives than you imagine.  Try to open your heart just a little more.  This treatment will not only help those around you, it will help you, too.

Let's start our treatment today. Together.

2 Minute Drill

Have a look at this clip.  This is Tuhon Nonoy Garrucho demonstrating  expressions of some flows from his Visayan style.  Tuhon is a legendary senior member of the PTK, and close associate of Tuhon Rommel Tortal.  I liked this clip since it illustrates some very interesting extensions to flows we should recognize from Kali Majaphit.  Watch it again.  What did you see?

For me, several very interesting ideas emerged.  Apart from his fast, accurate guntings (which are ones we also use), pay attention to his entries.  His underarm flow had two pathways.  Following his overhand 4th elbow (00:45) his left arm is inside and he obtains a neck control.  This is an overarm neck control which he follows by breaking balance on the low line against the lead knee (00:47).  This is very interesting because breaking the foundation on the low line is a great way to continue an upper body control --- these flows are common in silat and less common in FMA, but very important concepts to explore.  My senior students are comfortable with sipa kicks on the low line, but leg controls are also extremely effective as shown here.

At 1:01, Tuhon Nonoy shows a similar neck control movement from underneath, which all KM students should be familiar.  This is generally used as a "neck lever takedown", but in this example he uses it as a standing control to set up the knees and ultimately an underarm wing on the far side arm.  I really like this flow and it is a great way to show that the same entry (underarm neck control) need not always end the same way (neck lever takedown).  Each movement needs to be fully explored to be understood, and our flow can leverage common denominator entries into extremely creative outcomes.

Next, watch the entry at 1:17.  To any Yoshinkan practioner this is the setup for Ude Garame (arm wrap).  My students in particular know that this is one of my all time favorite movements from aikido since it is fast, powerful and easily applied from the common outside high line entry we learn as a KM beginner.  However, Tuhon Nonoy keeps this is a standing lock and rolls into a brilliant choke series including knee control.  This is an amazing expression and something that has had me considering other applications since I first watched it.

Finally, at 1:26 he shows an expression of kote gaeshi, a classic aikido wrist control.  In aikido this is generally a projection/throw, but he combines it with a far side wrapping underhook that is phenomenal.  I love this flow because it combines two elements we use often separately:  wrist control and underhook.  In his flow, this ends with an elbow control/head control combination.  For me, the far side underhook would position me for a sweep of the back leg, but that's just me.

I have watched this clip 20 or 30 times since I first saw it, and I find something new each time.  His other videos are in my queue to study in the weeks to come.  I encourage you to do the same.

The clip was not quite two minutes long, but absolutely overflowing with great ideas if you can understand what you are looking at.  Inspiration is everywhere.  As I have written before, aikido is a great foundation body of knowledge for any martial artist.  Many of the flows here incorporate aikido concepts, which make them extremely effective at manipulating the opponent's body and taking away his balance.

Great thanks to Tuhon Nonoy Garrucho for posting such inspirational stuff.

Pugay.

    

    

Training The Trainer

(thanks for the inspiration BC)

Martial Arts training is not easy.  For most of us, myself included, the movements are counter-intuitive and unnatural, and the drills are frustratingly difficult.  It is only after long hours of repetition, over weeks and months and years, that the body starts to adapt to what we want it to do.

When people see me on the mats, it looks easy - almost effortless.  The reality could not be further from the truth.  The years teach much the days never know.

When I look back on my own journey, the biggest differentiator in my training wasn't really in what or where I studied, or specifically who I studied under --- IT WAS WHO I TRAINED WITH DAY BY DAY.

Of course, the styles I learned, the dojos I made my home, and the teachers who invested their knowledge in me were a large part of my success.  I have been extremely lucky to have had truly incredible teachers, especially my current one.  However, I feel even luckier for the world-class training partners I have had.  Usually, the teachers showed us movements/techniques and gave us the frame of reference, but we rarely actually got to train with them.  They were always very busy watching the class and giving feedback to everyone.

The training partners, my brothers and sisters, were the ones that worked side by side with me.
They shared their blood, sweat and tears through every class with me.  THEY wanted to learn the skills and improve just as bad as I did.  THEY are the ones who kept me going, who motivated me, who encouraged me, and who made me want to give 100% every lesson.  THANK YOU.  I owe you so much.

Let me be crystal clear --- WE TRAIN EACH OTHER

That means that the quality of your training is dependent on the quality of your training partners, and theirs is dependent on YOU.

Drills are not for our own ego.  They are for training our partner, who in turn trains us.
That means it is critical to be IN THE MOMENT, focused, attentive, alert, engaged in every drill.
This is what we want from our partners, and so it is what we must demand from ourselves.

Feed your partner to his/her maximum ability, and slowly, relentlessly lead them further - just like you will want them to do for you.  Extend all your strikes and cuts to give them something to work on.  The goal is not to hit, cut or touch your partner.  The goal is to TRAIN YOUR PARTNER so their skills improve.  This is the only way you yourself will be trained and improve your own skills.

Lastly, the time we spend in class with our brothers and sisters gives us the knowledge and experience to be better teachers when our time comes (and it will).  The best partners make the best teachers, period.  NOBODY comes to a martial arts class to see how good the teachers are, they come to see how good they can become.

I feel the utmost gratitude in being able to guide all of you on your Kali journey.  You honor me.
Be sure to honor each other, too.  Train each other well, and the memories of those long hours in the dojo will last you a lifetime together.

See you on the mats.

John

Why I Love Aikido

(thanks for the inspiration Paul H.)

I love Aikido.  I mean I REALLY love it.

Many of you who know me well know that it is a big part of my martial arts background.  I studied Aikikai in 1987, Takeda-Ryu Aiki-Jujitsu from 1994-1997 and Yoshinkan from 2005-2010 in both Tokyo and Singapore.  This blog started in 2005 and the first few years of posts are dedicated exclusively to Aikido topics.

With my current focus being the learning and teaching of Southeast Asian martial arts, specifically Kali Majapahit, it would be easy to think I had "moved on" from Aikido.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I recently spoke for hours with a close friend who started his Aikido journey and have recommended Aikido training to many people before, including my son, and would still do so.  The other day someone asked me WHY?  Given that the Southeast Asian martial arts I do and Aikido are so very different, why would I still be interested in Aikido?

Body Mechanics
Aikido works because of body mechanics.  Good Aikidoka are very concerned with control of the opponents' structure, and the techniques of Aikido operate on the structure and balance from touch points located on the wrist, arm, shoulder and head.  Without the principles of Aikido, I must resort to percussion to disrupt the attacker.  Aikido allows me to move the other person without (necessarily) striking them.  It is important to consider the detailed body mechanics of every technique in order to uncover the learning objective for each one.  Every technique offers a different scenario, a different relationship between the participants, and highlights a different principle.  The concepts of Aikido remain at the heart of everything I do.

Connection
Aikido begins and ends with connection.  From the initial entry (called IRIMI) to the final control (OSAE), we establish and maintain a connection to the other person.  "Connectedness" is one of the most important principles in Aikido and one I try to use every single day of my life.  As the level of skill increases, the immediacy of the connection increases, until we reach a state of constant connectedness with those around us.  Done well, you do not do Aikido TO someone, you do Aikido WITH someone.  This idea is worth thinking about.

Footwork
Footwork is essential in Aikido.  At the beginning, the steps are slow and clumsy.  later, after practice, we become able to move with grace and speed.  My current study of social dance is only possible due to my years of aikido training, and the movements of waltz, tango, etc. are far easier for me to absorb because of my Aikido training.

Hips, Elbows, Knees
The first half of power generation in Aikido comes from understanding the application of hips, elbows and knees to deliver body weight through the opponent.  My teacher would often refer to Aikido as "all your power, all your force, on a single point, at a single time."  Delivery of that power and force is done principally via the hips, elbows and knees.

Energy and Breathing
The other half of power generation in Aikido comes from energy and breathing.  Energy derives from proper posture and proper breathing, both of which are topics of study in good Aikido dojo.
I have often relied on the focus I get from good posture and breathing not just for martial arts techniques, but also for concentration, stress management and other situations.  For those who cannot sit Zazen, Aikido is a next-best option.

Ukemi
Ukemi, or breakfalls, are a part of nearly every Aikido class.  There is some controversy as to the effectiveness of slapping the mats (which Aikido people regularly do), but no doubt as to the usefulness of knowing how to fall without fear or injury.  Breakfalls should be taught to everyone, regardless of their martial arts preference, since these techniques can literally save your life.  I have used breakfalls when falling down on ice and even when tossed from a motorcycle.  In every case I have been able to protect my head and avoid serious injury.  This alone is worth studying Aikido.

Non-Lethal
Honestly, I do not consider Aikido as a fighting art.  This does not mean it can't be used in a fighting situation, or that it has no merit in self-defense.  Rather, I think the principles and concepts are some of the most valuable of any martial arts training.  I do suggest, however, that Aikido, especially as it is taught in modern times, is not mainly for fighting.

I like the fact that Aikido is a non-lethal art.  Many "tactical" fighting systems and MMA schools emphasize striking, kicking and choking, and this can often result in extreme injury or death to the victim.  This often results in excessive-force related legal problems for the martial artist.  The use of deadly force is no trivial matter in modern society, and it is often far better to err on the side of caution.  Most confrontations are not life-threatening, and can be diffused with a simple Aikido technique that disrupts the attackers' aggressive intent without causing permanent damage.  This is always the preferable outcome.

It is also the reason that I like Aikido for children.  No parent wants a call from school saying that their child has smashed another kid's face, broken their neck, or stabbed them in the eye socket with a pencil (thanks for the image, Frank!).  I spent several years reverse-engineering Aikido techniques to make them a bit more street-capable (which is how they look in my Kali flow), but it is still a very safe art for children to learn.

If I could live my life all over again, I would still be a martial artist.  I would still have studied Aikido, perhaps started earlier and trained longer.  To me, it is an essential body of knowledge for anyone that wants a well-rounded martial arts perspective.  I encourage everyone to study it. Please let me know if you need help finding a good school.

I am forever grateful to Sensei Rosen, Sensei Roland, Sensei Mike, Sensei Saori, Sensei Ramlan, Sensei Mark, Shihan Joe and all the others that have made the Aikido Way such a fantastic journey for me.  A large part of my martial way is thanks to your patient, careful instruction. Thank you for your inspiration.

OSU!!

Owned

Last Friday we were drilling multiple armed attackers (knives) versus one receiver.  This is one of the toughest scenarios to train, since the odds are heavily against you from the start.  It's sobering how fast things can go wrong in these situations, which is why so many violent attacks involve armed groups on a single, unarmed individual.

Some themes emerged during the training:


1) Don't Get Caught in the Middle
Stuck in between several opponents is the absolute worst place to be.  Like quicksand, once you are stuck in it is incrementally harder to get back out.  Time is NOT on your side and flailing won't make it any better.

2) KEEP MOVING
Standing still is not neutral, it's NEGATIVE - often dangerously so.  Once we are aware of any threat, it is imperative to start moving and keep moving.  The direction almost doesn't matter, it can always be corrected later.  What is critical is to get going and keep going until you are out of danger.

3) K.I.S.S.
Keep it short and simple.  Too much complexity takes too much time.  You won't ever have as much time as you want or need, so better to plan quick and move quicker.  Complex techniques will fail under stress due to adrenaline, so it is far better to use simple, effective movements.

4) Have a Game Plan but Be Ready to Change it
Based on available info, make a plan.  As info changes, make sure the plan changes.  It is far better to have a fluid, adaptable mindset that to remain committed to a failing plan.

5) Concentrated, Short-Term Focus is better than Multi-Tasking
It is far better to harness full focus on a single task for a short term than to try to do everything at once (and fail them all).  Focus on the most immediate goal, complete it the best you can within the time you have and then move on.  It is actually more effective to hit each single objective 80% and keep going than hit 5 at 20% each and be overwhelmed.  "aim big miss big, aim small miss small" is a mantra used by elite snipers which means to focus on a small detail (aim at the shirt button) rather than a big target (aim at the man).  Precision is efficient and efficiency makes a big difference when time and the odds are against you.

6) Take What You Need From Those Around You
In a fight, your weapon will become my weapon as soon as I can make it so.  I am always out to even the odds, and then skew them in my favor, and one of the best ways I can do this is to take whatever my opponents' have and use it to my benefit.

7) Leverage Your Environment
In a fight, everything is fair game, especially the environment.  Walls, stairs, furniture, railings, anything in the environment can and should be used to help even the odds, and then skew them in your favor.

8) Be Decisive
Second place in a serous fight usually equals being severely injured or dead.  Every hit must count, and there is almost no margin for error.  To walk away, you must be committed to survival more than the others are committed to hurt or kill you.

9) The Mental Aspect Matters
In every situation, it is your confidence, willpower and commitment that have the biggest influence on the outcome. That means cultivating a mindset to do whatever is needed to survive an encounter and walk away.  Willpower is a very important ingredient for success.

10) Believe in Yourself
Survivors have a "survivor mindset".  Rather than arrogance, it is a quiet confidence in themselves and their abilities.  Survivors know what they can do, and know that what they can do when they have to is usually far beyond what they can do when they choose to.  Believe in yourself is also believing in your own ability to keep going no matter what.  Perseverance is a common characteristic of the most successful people.

and the most important of all:

TAKE THE INITIATIVE

There is a big temptation to be passive and wait for things to come to you before dealing with them.  In a fighting situation, this is usually the worst possible choice.  Attackers, especially groups of attackers, will continue to worsen your situation if allowed enough time to execute their strategy, and waiting becomes like a noose tightening around your neck.

Guerrilla warfare is generally the best approach, using the environment, aggressiveness and surprise to paralyze the enemy until they can be defeated.  In small-scale this means that you must immediately explode into action - directly into an attacker, and continue to aggressively seek and destroy the others before they can recover and combine to bring you down.  Fights need to happen on YOUR TERMS rather than theirs.

Tactically, we always seek the border of the space since we want to avoid being in the middle (see above) or exposing our backs, but the principles of environment, aggressiveness and surprise are still essential.  Waiting almost always makes the situation worse.

I have stated many times that the dojo is our laboratory for life.  What we can learn to do in class, we can learn to do outside class.

So, what does it all mean?

This training drill is not just to practice knife defense versus multiple attackers.
If you consider the above lessons, they apply almost universally to success in work and family, as well.  "Take The Initiative" is good advice for any endeavor of our lives.

All too often, we remain passive, waiting for someone to do it for us, or for things to happen to us.  This rarely has the outcome we want.  Instead, it is far better to actively engage our lives and those around us - take the initiative - and create the life we want to have.  This is true for individuals as well as companies.

The guidelines above offer advice for a wide variety of situations.  I hope you will consider them.
Moreover, I hope you will accept the responsibility to take the initiative in your own life, rather than waiting for it to happen to you.  Make it Happen rather than letting it happen.  Be the cause rather than the effect.

Come to class with energy and confidence, and be determined not just to complete the drills, but to OWN the training, OWN the workout, OWN the outcome.  Seize the Opportunity.
BE AWESOME.  Make a revolution in your life.

The Revolution Will Be Owned --- BY YOU.



 

Follow the Leader

Last Friday in class we tried a few minutes of "leading energy" practice.
This is a fundamental concept in aikido, as you can see from the video.

The principal of leading energy is to first blend with the attacker's motion, rather than fight against it.  This avoids strength on strength confrontation, which will inevitably favor the physically stronger opponent.  Leading energy allows us, after blending, to redirect the force to another direction.  In aikido this is most often done by leading into a circle/spiral or a straight line.  In either case, we can lead the partner's energy into a harmless direction, which in aikido culminates with a pin or a projection, followed by zanshin (attentive, focused mind).  The sequence of three elements described in the video are: blending, extending and leading.  All three exist in Kali as well.

For Kali practitioners, the concept of leading energy is contained in the Passa or "passing" principle.  Rather than direct contact "contrada", passa techniques involve moving the attack offline, usually away from the centerline.  Passa techniques are often used to move the attacker using their momentum, or to gain their side or back by putting them out of position.

When performing these techniques the initial movement, blending, is extremely important.  Any attempt to strongly push or pull the attacker usually results in them changing their motion and the technique failing.  The goal is to allow the attacker to continue on their intended line while we blend, and only then do we redirect the energy elsewhere.  Very importantly, we do not sit idly and wait for the attack to develop.  We must enter early and blend in order to safely redirect the motion as it develops. Waiting too long makes it impossible to blend, so timing is critical.

Once we blend, we can extend, and allow the attacking energy to commit.  In this portion, it is important to maintain our structure, posture and balance, thus allowing the partner to extend their energy (blended with ours) with a minimum of distraction, preserving their line.

Lastly, having matching the motion and extended it fully, we can then lead it elsewhere with minimal effort.  Trying to lead too early, without blending, results in disconnection from our partner.  Trying to lead before extending confuses our partner and causes them to want to pull away.  The three steps of blending, extending and leading must be done in order to be effective.

In daily life, as in the dojo, blending/extending/leading energy is an important concept.  Rather than direct confrontation, blending/extending/leading can be used to help others arrive at an optimal result without feeling bullied or attacked.  This method is especially helpful when dealing with peers or superiors, since it implies teamwork and a willingness to cooperate.  Just as in the dojo, blending/extending/leading takes less of our own energy to achieve, and so makes us less tired, which is also helpful in corporate and family life.

Rather than openly disagreeing with co-workers' opinions, "blending" requires that we consider their point of view thoroughly.  "Extending" requires that we let their full argument be made and their logic allowed to reach its conclusion before any further action is taken.  If needed, we can then lead to an optimal outcome, but not before blending and extending have been done.  Many times, people just want us to listen and accept their point of view (blending) without necessarily agreeing.  Blending validates them.  Extending allows their ideas to be fully explored before any further decisions are made.  Leading as a last action insures the best outcome because it minimizes confrontation and maximizes participation in the outcome.  This is especially useful when you are managing others.

Aikido's principles are universal, and have an important role to play in our Kali study.  It also has very broad applicability in other areas of our lives.
I encourage you to consider this.

See you at class.

The Other Side

(thanks for the inspiration JLH)

Inspiration is all around us if we look - people who have overcome nearly insurmountable odds to achieve their goals.  Of course there are famous people too, but it could be the person sitting next to you at work or a fellow parent at school.

The quiet, unassuming guy I worked with, who had been in a horrible car accident in college which shattered his body - arms, legs, wrists, pelvis.  He broke nearly everything, except his will to recover.  Two painful years in the hospital with multiple surgeries.  If you didn't know him like I do, you'd never even guess.  Mentally, he is one of the strongest people I have ever met.  I can't even imagine that much courage; that much goddamned PATIENCE to endure such a thing.

I like the quote "everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about".  Life can really feel like a struggle sometimes, but why do some people rise to the occasion while others seem to give in to despair, stumble, and fall - never to get up again?

These people who don't just survive, but THRIVE despite adversity, have one big thing in common: They Can See The Other Side.  They can visualize a time and a place where they are past their current hardship -  free and clear and happy.  I cannot overemphasize how important this is.  Studies done on holocaust survivors identified that those who survived the death camps often did so by staying focused on what their lives would be like when it was all over - never accepting the possibility that they would not make it.  No matter what horrors happened, they never lost sight of that specific personal future beyond the barbed wire and death that surrounded them.

My greatest victories have often been born out of sheer desperation, the feeling that I had no way out, no way but FORWARD, head on into my challenges - breaking through them no matter the cost.  This has not been the best way to achieve my goals but it has gotten the job done, and there is something to be said for having enough determination and confidence to see a task through, no matter how much it hurts.  Too often, I am just too stubborn to give up.  Sometimes I reach my goals too exhausted and battered to savor the moment.

A far better way is to focus on the positive outcome; use my mind to see the result of my successful efforts.  As JLH told me, visualization is a key to high-level sports training/coaching.  I agree, but at the same time there is something fundamentally different about harnessing the will to run faster in a race, lift a heavier weight or throw a ball.  Overcoming life's hardships often requires seeing a bigger picture on a much longer time horizon than a simple sporting match.

In my case, the biggest goal I achieved (getting to Japan) took me 10 years and 3 failed attempts to finally complete.  Through this I learned that if I just don't give up I will ultimately find a way, no matter the obstacle.  Proving this to myself has been the greatest asset to my success as an adult. This confidence has stayed with me ever since and enabled me to take on challenge after challenge, odds stacked against me almost every time, and still attain the goals I set my mind to.

Our training is designed to repeat the cycle of goal setting and achievement again and agin, instilling in our KM students the same unshakable quiet confidence they will use for every aspect of their lives - career, personal relationships, academics.  We don't just want to create the best fighters, we want to create the best people.  We want our students to be the best they can be, able to go out and make the lives they want without fear of anything that might stand in their way.  Kali Majapahit is our secret weapon, not to hurt others, but to enable our own success.

I encourage you to take a moment --- see the life you want.  GO GET IT.  You can do it.
I KNOW YOU CAN.

Great Heart Will Not Be Denied.

49

Well, today I am 49 years old, a stone's throw away from 50. What am I thinking about? How do I feel?

Every year that goes by I feel acutely aware of how little time we have in this life, on this Earth. Our lives truly go by in the blink of an eye, and the years teach much that the days will never know. All too soon we go back to the stardust we came from and the glow of our presence here will fade away. All we really have is what time remains, and how we choose to spend it.  Make every day count.

 Last November 6, we were moving to our new place, and entering into a year that has had some of the most difficult challenges we have ever faced as a family.  Looking back on it now, it seems a million miles away - we got through the worst of it one painful inch at a time, but we got through it. Life has stabilized and we can choose to remember the good times and let go of the bad, right? What a  roller coaster the past 12 months have been.  I get tired just thinking about it.

That said, I am so, so grateful for this wonderful life I have and I feel lucky beyond words, especially to be part of the lives of so many other people around the world.

I am grateful for my wonderful wife and my two boys, who continue to be my strength through every hardship.  Together, as a family, we will make it no matter what.  I am grateful for my beloved pugs, who show me what unconditional love is, and how important it is for me to live each moment fully.

I am grateful for Kali Majapahit, my guiding force and my passion.  I am grateful to my teachers, Guro Fred and Guro Lila, to all my fellow instructors, and especially to my students, who make me so incredibly proud.  Your journey inspires mine.

I am grateful for my friends, and getting greetings from so many of you across all the many ways that we know each other makes me very glad indeed - thanks to you all I feel part of a precious fabric --- something very special and important. We have changed each other in more ways (usually positive) than I can count.  Thank you, really, THANK YOU for being a part of my life and for sharing so much with me.  All of you make my life worth living.

Tonight we have Kali class, and I can't think of an anything else I'd rather do - see you at training. 

The Song of the Soul

(thanks for the inspiration Sanae)

"Are our lives predetermined?" she asked.

That's a tough question...  As a Buddhist the answer (for me, anyway) is both YES and NO.  Guro Fred often explains it as a train running down the tracks.  The destination is fixed, but we are free to decide how we ride the train (which seat, which car, aisle or window, facing front or back, etcetera).  I struggled to find a suitable metaphor to use.

One possibility is to use music.  Songs are a set of predetermined notes or sounds, but of course the same song can be played many different ways, using different arrangements, different instruments, different keys and so on.  Each of our lives is a song, but it is up to us to uncover the music and decide how we want to play it.  Some of us are rock and roll, some are jazz, some are classical.  All of us are beautiful.

Some of us will find the melody, the harmony, the tempo and play our song with energy and passion.  Others may struggle to find any pattern at all, and instead their life will seem to be a random collection of notes or sounds.  It can also be said that we are able to hear the songs of others, some of which have a rhythm and tempo which match our song especially well and which we find particularly appealing.  Maybe this is just another way of explaining what love is.  The more we hear the music of others, the clearer our song becomes, and the more we realize that all music is universal - we are all connected.  New songs bring us fresh new perspectives, and may even change how we think or feel once we hear them.

Our favorite songs can instantly bring us back to a time and a place - they link us to our memories and to many important events of our lives.  So, too, the song of our soul is the essence of who we are, and the songs of others who are important to us will play in our heads over and over again.

Listening carefully in meditation, we will find the harmony of our own song, and even know what notes are coming next.  We can add embellishments to our song and make it a song everyone will remember, a song they will sing forever.  We can play our song in a sad and melancholy way, or we can choose to let our song be an anthem of hope and joy.  Even though the notes are set when we are born, we have the freedom to express them as we wish.

What do you think?
As the Doobie Brothers said, "Listen to the Music"...  

Expect The Unexpected

Wow...what a weekend.
The Kali Majapahit Singapore ITA Masterclass 2015 is now over.

I came down here to attend with my students, and expected to observe/help with the testing of one of my senior students going for his Kasama rank (assistant instructor).

I didn't expect to get tested for my Madunong Guro (2nd dan) rank.
There were many lessons from this experience.  Here are my initial impressions.

I Wasn't Ready.
Honestly, if I had to wait until I was ready, maybe I never would be.  The thing is, LIFE doesn't happen when you are ready for it.  Waiting until you are ready is probably the biggest reason we miss out on so much.  Life happens when it does.  All you can do is GO WITH IT.  Fights, too, never happen when you are ready for them.  They happen when they do, and you need to be ready to do whatever it takes to be the one who walks away.  Any fight you walk away from is a victory to be celebrated.

Let It Go
It is the details which matter.  The details that you hold on to that become anchors around your neck.
We skipped lunch, we didn't have enough rest breaks or enough water, fresh partners keep rotating in but you never get to stop, the rounds are too long, etc. etc. etc.  Unconsciously, you start holding onto these things, and each one that gets lost or taken away sinks you deeper into despair --- IF YOU LET IT.  Instead, you can choose to BE HERE NOW and let go of everything except the fight you're in. Let your focus sharpen, take a deep breath, and deliver.  Right here, right now.  Once you let go, nothing can be taken from you.  You accept that you will pass out, get knocked out or walk away.  In the end  it doesn't really matter which one.  Just keep going until you can't.

Go Down Swinging
I got SO SICK of the boxing.  Round after round. Round after round.  I decided to go down swinging. If you stop, you drop, so I just kept swinging.  Life is often like this.  You need to make a decision to be fully engaged in your life, and not just let it go by.  GO DOWN SWINGING.  Even if you lose anyway, it just feels better.

Flipping The Switch
As Guro Rose says "Kali Mode ON!"  When the chips are down, you need to be able to flip the switch and go into your instinctive zone.  You let the body do what it knows, and you just keep going until the job is done.  Not everyone is the killer instinct it takes to survive a serious fight, but our training is designed to help us learn to manage stress and control ourselves to channel our fighting spirit.  Learning how to flip the switch (and flip it off again) is a very important part of the training.

Livin On The Edge
My adrenaline was high, I was in the zone, delivering with 100% intensity. Adrenalin, well channelled, can make all the difference between success and failure.  It did for me, since my energy was gone in the afternoon, I was in pain, and facing my 16th hour of training this weekend.  Later, the crash came.  It's a BITCH.  Shakes, pains, rapid breathing, dizziness.  Some people throw up. I didn't, but the recovery is always slow after an extended use of adrenalin.  Guro Fred knows just how to keep you on the edge between going on and crashing out, and how to make that moment last a long, long time.  Thank you for pushing me so hard, and for making this test so special.

You are not YOU
No, you're not.  You are a product of everyone that has invested in your success.  All your teachers, all your training partners, all your students, everyone around you.  They have invested in you because they believe in you - sometimes even when you don't believe in yourself.  It is important to be always grateful for the people who make you YOU.  You could not be YOU without them.

Thank you so much to everyone who walks with me on this journey.
A belt is just a belt but you are truly part of me.  I owe you so much.
Thank you for believing in me.

A very special thanks to my incredible wife Sanae, and to my exceptional sons  George and Ray, for whom I always try to be a superhero.  No matter what I do, YOU are the true superheroes to me. Thank you for your love, patience and support.  Thank you for understanding how important my Kali Majapahit is to me.

Lastly, Deep Congratulations to my brothers and sisters who tested with me today.  You honor and inspire me.  Let's keep going together!!

See you at class.

Lessons from the Pros - tactical baton

Have a look.  This video is from Lahnert Tactical and shows applications of the Bonowi EKA Camlock baton - a great piece of kit from a great maker.  All rights to the video are theirs. Check any and all related laws in your jurisdiction before choosing to carry a tactical baton or other weapon.

The principal in the video is a trainer for law enforcement and elite military in the use of the tactical baton.  There is obvious strong FMA flavor in his movements, and KM students should easily recognize some of the flow.  He applies concepts from Hubud, Sumbrada (5 count), and Doce Pares in his responses, and does so excellently.

Beyond this, some other things to note:

1) FOOTWORK
Look how he uses his footwork to create and keep distance, or to angle off the center line as needed.  Footwork is the cornerstone of effective technique and is just as important with baton/stick/cane as it is with any other weapon.  In the video, the principal either 1) closes to CQC range using the punyo or 2) opens to largo using the tip for striking.  Medium distance is only ever a transition point to 1) or 2).  Note how he uses the tip to push the attacker out into distance as needed.  This is a useful technique.

2) LIVE HAND
Note the use of the left hand for checking, parrying and control.  This "live hand" is a hallmark of good FMA.

3) CENTRIFUGAL FORCE
The stick is a centrifugal force impact weapon, with the centerpoint at the user's shoulder.  Thus, maximum power is derived from impact using the absolute outside of the circle's radius - in this case the tip of the weapon.  This is where acceleration is maximized in the swing and where the most impact force can be generated.

4) LOCKING
For locking, he is careful to use the leverage of the weapon against joints (wrist, elbow and neck). After disrupting the structure, he moves immediately into a finishing technique.  The lock is not the end - it is a transition to the finish, used to disrupt the attacker's structure.  Locking is not attempted until at least one hit has been made to weaken the attacker.

5) CLEARING AND ZONING
In the baton vs baton flow, note how the Principal clears the weapon away.  He zones the opponent's baton offline which opens the center for his own response, while keeping the attacker from recovering.  The initial block is DEFINITIVE, stopping the attacker in place for the follow up.

6) STRIKING TARGETS
When responding, he rarely targets the head or neck of his opponent.  Instead, he focuses attacks on the weapon arm and leg.  Except for a few knee hits, most of his responses are at the upper arm or thigh, where the attacker can be neutralized with only minimal possibility of lethal or permanent injury.  Even when the attacker has a knife, he does not resort to lethal force, which is commendable.  I highly recommend this muscle memory for everyone, law enforcement or not, for both ethical and legal reasons.

7) KEEP GOING
The idea of "one hit, one stop" sounds great on paper, but the best muscle memory is one that keeps us in motion and overwhelming the attacker until the situation is completely under control. Smoothly chaining together a flurry of strikes is a key component of what makes Kali the effective art it is, and drilling for this is very important.

8) VOICE
The Principal uses his voice to ensure the situation is resolved.  Voice is a key part of the psychology of control, and the best timing for this is when the initial adrenaline rush has been disrupted.  Proper use of the "command voice" can minimize having to use additional force to neutralize an attacker and prevent an attacker from continuing after the initial attempt.

What else can you learn from this?
Let me know if you saw something I didn't.

See you at class,

John

Here Am I

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
-Isaiah 6:8

Those of you who know me know I am not Christian.
However, I have read the Christian Bible more than once cover to cover, and it has a few passages I really like.  The above is one of them.

The last time I heard this verse was in the movie "Fury", where one of the characters reads it from his Bible before they engage in the final battle - a battle from which none of them expect to survive.  It is said in the context of soldiers who have a sacred duty.

I like this verse because it speaks to me about our mission in the martial arts - who and how we aspire to be.  It is not enough to be strong.  It is not enough to have fighting prowess and mastery of weapons and techniques.  As WARRIORS we are called to something more --- we are called to a sacred duty.

The burden falls on us to volunteer in times of need.  Our training develops our warrior spirit and courage so that we will not hesitate when the moment of Truth is upon us.  We will stand tall and face whatever may come; we will defend ourselves and those we love.  We will stand up for the weak and the victims of aggression.  We will face the Bullies.  We will be the ones to be sent.  This is our duty.  Serving others is the essence of compassion.  We must transcend the self in order to truly feel CONNECTED.

Very often, success in life is dependent on raising our hands and volunteering.
It is not enough to be passive and wait for success to happen to you.  It won't.
Love will not find you unless you volunteer to take a chance.  Tell that person how you feel about them.  Only by risking rejection can you aspire to acceptance.

The hardest jobs often deliver the greatest reward, and our leaders appreciate those employees who do not back away from the challenges, but instead seek them out.  Doing this is not about shameless self-promotion.  Instead, it is about the quiet confidence that comes from ability and ambition.  We all want to win, and it is the most fun to win a game that is a real challenge against a worthy adversary.  Sometimes this is a sporting contest.  Sometimes this is a negotiation.  At the end, we want to give 100% and feel respect for our counterpart.  It is because of them that we have had to raise our skills higher and step up to give our best effort.

Our Kali Majapahit training is not just about our body.
Use the training to forge your willpower and determination.
Learn to focus your intensity on achieving your goals.
Build your confidence so you can be the one to step forward.
Believe in yourself and what you can do.

Put up your hand and be picked.  Stand up and let yourself be chosen.  Open your heart and free yourself to be loved.  Become who you are meant to be.

Jamming

(thanks for the inspiration Jeremy)

Kali is a very special and unique art.  What we aim to achieve is quite different from that of other arts.

We often talk about "FLOW" and this was one of the first concepts Punong Guro Fred Evrard shared with me that intrigued me and helped me get hooked on Kali Majapahit in 2008 - and I am still hooked.

From the beginning, a KM class is unlike a "typical" martial arts class.  We cover at least three different sub-systems in every session, including single or double stick, empty hands and/or knife, boxing or kickboxing.  Adding in warm-ups and stretches, cardio and cool-down makes every class very busy.  Even our two-hour sessions in KM Tokyo just seem to fly by.  Students who come from different backgrounds are challenged by the different skills we train in every class and how fast we change from one to another.
It's not just fun but very exciting.

We drill concepts and example techniques, but there are no Kata (forms) in kali (at least not in Kali Majapahit).  I see a lot of value in form-based styles like karate and kung fu for building discipline and muscle memory, as well as deeping the spiritual connection to the movement - "active meditation".  For some people, the stability and consistency of Kata is especially helpful and precious.  Kata-based arts have been shown to help learning disabled and behaviorally challenged children and adults such as those with autism, Asperger's and ADD/ADHD to help focus and control their bodies.

That being said, FMA in general (and KM in particular) usually avoid static kata training in favor of drills and technical application.  This can be a difficult adjustment initially, but in the long run offers the opportunity to find a new way of expression - JAMMING.

I use the example of jazz music since it seems to best fit the idea of FLOW as we think about it in Kali Majapahit.  Rather than rely on a strict set of technical responses, we train to be fully in the moment and to respond smoothly and effortlessly to whatever intention or action our opponent gives.  Until the situation is resolved, we transition from one distance to another, from one line to another, from one style to another without stopping to think - WE FLOW.

In jazz music, jamming is the same concept.  There is a basic story or beat, above which the musician expresses his or her sound.  The jazz player FLOWS in, around, under and through the baseline, exploring and finding each unique musical moment until the end.  It sounds amazing, but how do you learn o do that??

Drills
Drills, drills, drills.  For musicians it is long hours playing the scales in different keys and other variations on this simple theme.  To play well, we need to have the muscle memory of the basic notes of the instrument, just as we must do with our arms and legs, our elbows, our sticks and blades in FMA.  We drill the basic angles and basic blocks again and again until they become second nature.  We drill our footwork until it is intuitive.  We drill to improve our dexterity and agility.  A good guitarist will have fingered the basic chords tens of thousands of times and need not look that his or her fingers or hands to find the right strings and frets. This is a painful and tedious process, but there is nothing more necessary to jamming than this.  Be patient. Love your callouses.

Combinations and Phrasing
Later, we begin to chain some techniques together.  We add more hits to the drills, or change hand positions. We start to develop some simple multi-hit combinations, but these are generally given to us by our instructor. We start to learn how the body moves and how to "lead" or put techniques where the opponent will be (rather than where they currently are), setting up a series of events that take away the balance and structure and end the encounter.  Our teachers use these combinations to help illustrate the correct concepts and principles of how to move.  We learn about the distances, lines, angles, and how to use our body efficiently in sequence.  We gain experience in the different sub-systems and begin to understand their uniqueness.
This is an intermediate step.

In music, we begin to start playing simple songs, simple melodies, and learning some simple riffs we can use.
We still need to stick to the written pages and focus on drills, but hopefully our fingers begin to move more smoothly, chaining notes together a few at a time with less frequent pauses in between.

Improvisation
Improvising techniques is where we start to really leverage the hard work of beginner and intermediate.
Here we can begin to really problem-solve and explore specific situations and puzzles through more advanced drills.  Rather than being given a technical answer, we can focus on asking the right questions "where can I move?", "what if I did this?", "How can I put the opponent here/there?", "what if I lost my weapon now?", and so on.  Solving these problems is where we branch off from more traditional kata-based arts into the discovery zone that makes Kali so magical.  We are seeking and finding SOLUTIONS.

Secondly, we begin the process of mixing-and-matching between sub-systems that adds uniqueness and color to our developing flow.  We may start using Kali, and then transition to Hakka Kuntao or boxing or Muay Thai, and finish using Dumog (Filipino grappling) or takedowns and throws based on Judo/Jujitsu or Aikido.  Weapon movements begin to feel more similar to each other and we can start to relate one weapon (umbrella) to another (single stick).  The knowledge is finally coming together.

In music, we further embellish songs we have learned, adding in our own riffs and notes, changing the chords and blending the songs together to create a sound we like.  We freely explore the instrument and what it can do without limitation, and start to really revel in the freedom that comes from being able to play without stopping to read each note - making music sound the way we want it to.  We start to write some of our own songs or arrangements of other songs we like.  We are comfortable with our instrument in any style or situation.

Flow and Style
Once we can improvise a bit, the next phase is exploring all the possible combinations and fusion we can find.  This can easily last us the rest of our lives.  Although our kali chessboard is finite, the possible combinations of what we have learned are endless.  Our training has given us sets of techniques, as well as a deep perspective on the human body, different ways of motion, psychology, nutrition and health, spirituality and awareness.  We can begin to respond without stopping to consider beforehand which techniques or sub-systems to use.  Responses start to just HAPPEN and to do so in a way that is consistent with our own individual natures.

The most beautiful jazz improvisation is an unstructured, free-flowing conversation between the musicians.
It's MAGIC.  You really see masters of the craft EXPRESSING themselves through their instruments - 100% here and now in each musical moment.  To me, it is the highest level of musicianship and the most worthy goal of any aspiring player.  It is truly FREE.

The End Result
I encourage all of our students to train with as many different Guros and Kasamas as possible.  Every one of us has gone through the above progression, and learned to leverage all that we know to develop our own flow.  Each instructor knows the same basics and the same techniques, but we all add our unique flavor to our FLOW and seeing us will help you find your own voice one day.  You may never have our flow, but you will definitely have your own, and it will be beautiful and unique to you.

Trust the Training.
Be patient.
Love your callouses.
Never give up.
JAM like a champion.

See you at class.

Flowing the Tree

(thanks for the inspiration Paul M)

It's not my fault.  Really.  My dear friend Paul asked me about Kali Majapahit.  Usually, the first few hours are my most animated explanations, but I could literally go on FOREVER talking about Kali Majapahit, how much I love it, and how unique it is.

To keep other people from falling asleep, I try to explain in a way that will resonate with each person, especially if they are not martial artists.

Paul is a physicist by background, so science/maths is a great medium to try to explain what we do.  Here goes...


When I walked into Kali Majapahit (at that time Ni Tien Martial Arts) in Singapore, I was AMAZED.
Guro Fred moved like no one I had ever seen (and still does).  He was (is) like a predatory jungle cat - graceful, powerful, lethal: 100% martial and 100% art.  However, it wasn't just how he moved, it was also how he spoke.

I remember it like yesterday...  Katulong Guro Vince (at that time not even a Kasama yet, now one of our best and most experienced instructors) punched.  Hard.  Guro Fred slipped outside effortlessly.  Guro Fred was looking at ME the whole time.  He wasn't even looking at the punch. He said "this time I will choose an outside solution."  He spoke not of "techniques" or "katas" but of "solutions".  I was intrigued.

Later, I would discover that we classify solutions by several categorizations.  One is by our position in space relative to our opponent: inside/outside/split.  Also, defining a solution as high line, medium line or low line.  Finally, through our distance: close (corto), medium (medio) or long (largo) distance.  We can also classify solutions by the subsystem we express (or the weapon type we use).  This includes Kali (panantukan/sikaran, dumog), Silat, JKD, Muay Thai, Hakka/kun tao and more.  Regarding weapon types we have single/double stick (impact weapons), edged weapons (long/short/karambit), axe/tomahawk, staff or spear (bankaw), flexible weapons such as sarongs and scarves, and many, many more.

Classifying our solutions creates a framework for learning, much like a chessboard, and so too the combination of solutions are infinite.  All of the above variations give us an endless array of options from which we can express ourselves.

So...what to do??

I added the binomial tree above as one idea to consider.  Each moment in time or action point represents a step in the binomial tree: action/reaction.  Each action opens the door to the next step in the sequence of events from left to right.  At the end, the opponent is incapacitated (hopefully without injury) and the fight is over.  Skill in fighting, using this example, can be defined as:

• Flowing from left to right seamlessly without stopping, adjusting for each action/reaction by moving to the next stage of the binomial tree without hesitation
• Choosing the highest percentage movements at each stage of the tree, so that our chance of success gets increasingly larger and our opponent's gets increasingly smaller at each step of the tree until the opponent can no longer continue
• Limiting the opponent's response at each stage by "feeding" or "drawing" a conditioned and expected response from them which yields the result we want and can exploit

Of course, every fight is unpredictable and there are always unforeseeable elements.  The goal of the training is to develop and enhance the ability to KEEP MOVING, to FLOW with the changes as they happen and be neither constrained nor restricted in our responses.  When we express Kali Majapahit, it should be the truth of our own spirit which shines through --- relaxed; without fear, without panic, without anger - calm, confident. Completely in the moment until the encounter is over and we are safe.

I remain just as fascinated and intrigued by Kali Majapahit today as I was when I started 7 years ago.  I love the art and introducing people to it, because I know they will find a lifetime of exploration and adventure, just as I have.

See you at class.  

Dragons versus Unicorns

Dragons versus unicorns.

No, this is not some episode of Final Fantasy XVIII, Pokemon, Game of Thrones or other TV show/video game.

In this case, I am referring to a situation which often occurs when people begin to discuss religion/spirituality: namely, that each side begins to argue about hypotheses or pedantic minutiae which cannot actually be proved or disproved or which is in fact utterly irrelevant to deriving value from the basic ideas.  Thus, it is the equivalent of two people arguing over which would win a fight: dragon or unicorn, neither of which can actually be proven to even exist outside of the fantasy of imagination (nb: Komodo dragons are only called "dragons" because they are large lizards.  They do not breathe fire and cannot fly, which everybody knows all real dragons can do).

A common one is the Christian "one God versus 3 Gods" question.  In Christianity, God is usually thought of as a singular deity, but also as the Holy Trinity of God the Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost (Holy Spirit).  Heated arguments happen between various Christian groups about the nature of God in each of these three forms, and whole branches of Christian religions differ based on what specific ideas they espouse.  Sadly, none of these ideas can actually be proved or disproved (at least not by any living human beings that could credibly resolve the argument).

All religions have some symbolism inherent in them as part of their Gnostic traditions.  This includes the Christian cross, the Jewish Star, The Muslim Scimitar, The Buddhist lotus flower and so on.
These symbols are core to those belief systems and an integral part of their worship in sacred ceremonies.  At the same time, to the extent that these distract the believer from gaining the benefit of the belief, I think they are at best misguided and at worst deliberately false and incendiary.  Using the Christian cross as an example, in Catholicism, the cross is always shown as a crucifix with Jesus on it (I assume to emphasize that Jesus suffered and died for our sins). By contrast, in the Lutheran (reform) Christian tradition, the cross is NEVER shown with Jesus on it, presumably to emphasize his arising from the tomb and triumph over death.  Which is correct?  How can we ever know?  While I can accept that there is a certain philosophical merit in discussing these interpretations, is there any practical value to be gained in arguing over them?  Fighting over them?  Killing and dying over them??  I suppose it would be just as nonsensical for two people to come to blows over whether dragons or unicorns are more powerful than the other.

I have yet to find an organized religion that does not include social harmony as one of its core tenets - the responsibility of believers to get along with each other.  For nearly all of them, harming others is allowed only under very specific circumstances, and killing is generally frowned up except in cases where the tribe is under direct attack.  Not signalling out Christians here specifically, but "thou shalt not kill" is a simple 4 word command, pretty clearly spelled out, and not really open to much interpretation. There is no "except..." clause.  Nearly every other religion is the same.

Still, however, man manages to engineer seemingly endless reasons for killing each other, religion being history's greatest excuse to murder people.

Using my example above, it is my sincere hope that Dragon lovers and Unicorn lovers (and all other fantasy fans) can come together and appreciate each others' beliefs, each cheering for their own favorite mythical creature - but not at the expense of another's.  We are all equally entitled to believe in what we want to, so long as it does not harm others.  Respect is key.

Then again, maybe everyone has got more important things to do than argue about imaginary stuff, right?

Martial arts is rife with the same problem.  Many so-called "masters" talk about "Ki" or "Chi" as if it were some mystical magical genie power that makes otherwise superhuman feats possible. Their goal is to appear special and persuade students that they can achieve some voodoo magic through choosing them as a teacher, focusing on esoteric topics at the expense of good, practical training.  The reality is that martial arts training is the most natural training there is, explainable through science (mostly physics, math and some chemistry, with a sprinkle of psychology).  Listening to two masters talk about how many different aura colors there are (which neither one could see) was about as boring as watching paint dry.  Listening to two "grand masters" argue over whose 11th degree black belt was more "legitimate" than the others was even worse.

It is time to focus on what brings us together rather than what keeps us apart.

Reflections on My KM Journey

I can still remember giving my very first class (and that student is still training with me - you know who you are!)  I was very scared.  I wondered if I would be good enough, or if I could answer all the questions they would have.  I felt very nervous and I hoped it wouldn't show too much.  It was hard to accept that I would stand out in front of the class and lead them.  I didn't feel ready yet.

At the same time, I was excited for the chance to keep on training.  I LOVED Kali Majapahit (still do!) and wanted nothing more than to just share it with everyone (yup, still do!).  It went OK, not great just OK, but luckily students can be a pretty forgiving lot, and people stuck with me.  I have tried hard to improve since then.  Thanks for staying with me.

5 years (and a few ITA sessions in Singapore) later and we have a GREAT group in Japan.  Not a good group, a GREAT GROUP.  At the core are some students (now Kasamas, mostly) who have trained with me for a few years, as well as a bunch of younger students making their way through the ranks one step at a time.  I love who they are as growing kalista.  I love each new discovery they reach - that moment when things start coming together and it starts to make sense, the puzzle pieces falling into place.

At the same time, I love watching my kasamas teach.  I love when they explain something so perfectly, with energy and passion, hitting all the right key points that make it work.  I can remember when they were first learning it - now they are ready to pass it on.  When my brothers and sisters from overseas come to visit I am proud to show them our Kali Family.  I am proud when we attend seminars together and people comment how good our kalista are, not just as fighters, but as PEOPLE.  We are a family that truly support each other and are there to help each other grow and learn.  I feel so incredibly lucky to have a group like this to call home.

There have been many times when our class was the main thing that kept me going.  Through a lot of tough personal times, Fridays were always "Our Time" to be together and something I looked forward to each week, sometimes the only thing I looked forward to.  As much as I gave to everyone, they gave to me.  They stayed committed to their training, and I knew I couldn't let them down.  I had to give 100% every class because they always deserve my absolute best.  Now we have even grown enough to have classes on Tuesday too, so twice I week I can do what I love most.

Every year brings new developments in Kali Majapahit.  We are doing so much more than we were when I joined.  I love the tradition, and the fellowship of my other instructors around the world, as well as our many brothers and sisters in so many countries.  I wish I could see them all more.  Many of our family have chosen to go beyond just a metaphorical warrior journey and embark on a real "warrior quest" around the world, just like Guro Fred and Guro Lila did so long ago.  I am jealous.  Respect to you for going all-in on your dreams.

When I reflect on my KM Journey, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction. It has been such a tremendous benefit to me and the others in my life.  I am always grateful to my KM Family, especially Guro Fred and Guro Lila, for giving me the keys to make such a happy life for myself, and for creating something so good I have to share it with everyone I can.  Thank you for getting me involved and for keeping me involved.  Thank you for putting together something we can use to make the world a better place.  I truly believe our curriculum is the very best, and has so many fantastic keys to personal development.  I hope everyone can get a chance to try it and see.

To all my brothers and sisters in KM, thank you for being part of this global family.  I hope you will keep spreading the message and keep on going to achieve all the goals you set - every time. Recognize that you are part of something very, very special - something precious.  Treasure it and pass it on to the people you love most.  Make it your own.  Make every class matter.  Keep growing and never stop.  Become an instructor and pass it on.

To my fellow instructors, thanks for inspiring me and for giving 100% inside of class and out just like I do.  We are bound together by our common experience, and you are my heroes.  I can't wait to see you again.  You are always welcome with us in Japan.

Warm regards,

John

What will I grow up to be Mummy ??????

(thanks for the inspiration Asif Rahman)

"What will I grow up to be Mummy?"

This is a very important question - in fact, it is almost the most important question we can ask.  We live in an age where each generation is being forced to ask (and answer) this question earlier than their parents.  The generally accepted answer to this question (directly or indirectly) is "SUCCESSFUL".

We carefully select the most highly-trained babysitters and give our babies DHA and other supplements to boost brain development, we send our children Montessori and later to elite nursery schools, after school "enrichment" including math, science, art, music (especially piano), and hire expensive tutors to boost their academic performance.  We become smart but we fail to become wise.  We can develop skills, but can we truly be "successful"?  Do we even know what that means?

Television programs, commercials, movies and magazines subconsciously push us to seek unrealistic standards of wealth, power and beauty, and to despair when we don't achieve them. This leads to depression, apathy, and a loss of direction or sense of purpose for many young people.  The emphasis on material, tangible, conspicuous consumption, often at the expense of real defining experiences, encourages us to think that success can be bought and need not necessarily be earned.  Our "successful" parents spent a disproportionate amount of time working, and still less than we do, and less than our children might do (if we are not careful).
Where did we go astray?

I am father to two boys, one already a teenager.
We have been frugal with them, at the same time trying to make sure they did not suffer just to develop "virtue" or "character".  What do I want from them?  What would success for them mean to me (as their father)?  What do I want them to grow up to be??  I have thought about this a lot over the years, and this helped me answer Asif's post when he put it on Facebook.

I want my boys to grow up to be HAPPY.

Not more than this, but also, very importantly, not less than this.

When I say "happy" what do I mean?  Happiness comes in many forms, and I am not simply talking about the delirious, carefree happiness we feel just being silly and laughing for no reason (although sometimes this is essential).  Happiness can also be found by achieving goals we set that we feel are important to us, or also very importantly, by helping others to be safe and happy.  Happiness can come from the satisfaction of investing in ourselves and the people around us, investing in relationships that will stand the test of time and support us when we are in need.  Happiness comes from being confident in ourselves and our abilities, but also from setting our own goals and not just achieving for the sake of other peoples' opinions of us.

happiness comes from learning to listen to the Inner Voice, the voice of our eternal soul, which helps us to discover our purpose in this incarnation, and to continue our spiritual journey - not specific to any "textbook" religion.  Our souls are above that, just as our souls are above seeing each other as flesh and blood (beautiful or ugly, or with different skin color).  The soul sees only the soul - pure and true, all of us on the same journey.  We may go so far as to say we are happiest when our soul is in balance and at peace, following the path it must follow to evolve and progress. 

I intentionally leave some aspects such as career, place of residence, wealth/social status out of my definition.  We have a need for basic comforts, safety and security, and I do not think we all need to be Zen monks (although some of us need to be because our soul tells us so).

While the above are good guidelines, happiness can only come from knowing ourselves fully. That means investing the time in experiences, good and bad, that help us define what is best for us.  We will make mistakes, many mistakes along the way - the key is to stay focused on learning and growing physically, mentally, spiritually.  The sad truth is that we can probably be happier with far less possessions than we have.  Less is truly more, and simplicity has its own reward.

As I mention above, while we should all aspire to be happy and expend our maximum effort to define for ourselves what and how that needs to be, it is equally important to make a promise to ourselves not to settle for anything less than happiness.  Being happy, in the forms I describe above, is enough and we do not need more.  At the same time, far too many people settle for less than happiness.  Less than happiness in their careers, their homes, their partners, their families, their friends.  Accepting less than happiness is a terrible compromise that contributes to our own suffering and that of those around us.  We must start by knowing, truly KNOWING, that we have worth as human beings, and that we DESERVE TO BE HAPPY as we define it.  It is our right as a living creature, no different from that of any other living creature.  It is important to expect the best from ourselves, so that we can develop a habit of excellence in what we do, and allow ourselves the happiness of satisfaction which comes from achieving our best and growing to do and be more than we were.  Please don't settle for less than happiness.  You deserve it.

It is never too late to grow up - especially if you choose to grow up to be happy.