Sunday, August 16, 2009

Leaving On A Jet Plane

That's it. They are gone.
It's been a long week, gradually building up to the fatc that my family would be flying back to Japan today.

Now I am on my own until my master's degree is over - nearly two months. I leave on 11 October. I haven't been alone for this long for nearly 10 years...completely at a loss now for how to feel. All of us crying at the airport this morning was the most heartbreaking moment I can remember.

Ray cried, but at 3 years old he does not fully understand what it means to be apart so long.
He mainly cried because George, his older brother, cried. He wasn't sure exactly what was going on or what to do, but since George cried, he cried.

George cried a lot, and has been crying off and on all week.
He is worried about missing his best friend, worried about missing me, worried about starting his new school next week. It will be hard on him, but he will be fine, and we all need to go through these things in order to learn and grow - to be a bit more independent. The time will come when he will be glad to be away from me, but that is not now; not at 7 years old.

Sanae knows very well what it means to be away for so long.
Lately things have been going pretty well for us, and she has been happy. That has meant I get to be happy too. I wish I was going, too.

All that time alone should be good, right?
Plenty of time to think about things and all that.
No distractions.

I am sure I will have time to do things like read and watch DVDs I haven't been able to.
I am sure I will (eventually) be able to sleep more.

My plans are to train as hard as possible. Every spare moment on the mats.
Change my eating habits. Change my sleeping habits. Change my life.

I expect to go back to Japan in October looking very different.
Fitter, stronger, happier, more focused. Ready to hit the ground running.

I want to have a better life back in Japan.

See you there. Yoroshiku.

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