Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Princess Syndrome

She's back. However, nothing really seems to have changed.
Same vaguely desperate, puzzled expression... I suppose she wonders why things "just don't go her way" or why she is "so unlucky". Years will go by while she waits for something to happen...maybe she will end up getting married and giving up her independence just to be sure someone provides for sad.

She is very pretty, and she knows it.
She is well educated, and she knows it.
The world should be laid at her feet...and...sadly, she knows it.
She's a barbie girl in a barbie world, as the song says.

In psychology circles it is referred to as "learned helplessness", a condition where a person becomes conditioned to do nothing since they expect everything to be done FOR THEM. Maybe it is because they are beautiful. Maybe it is because they know it.

Nothing is more infuriating to me than the belief some people have that the world somehow owes them something. This goes hand in hand with the learned helplessness that society impresses upon women to make them believe they cannot do and be at least the equal of their male counterparts, if not far beyond them. This extends to many of the middle eastern countries that still treat women as "possessions" to be bought and sold, and African societies that still believe they need to mutilate women to deny them the pleasure of a healthy and active sexual identity.
This is the crime of cowardly, weak men who are intimidated by the idea of a strong, capable woman.

I am not a feminist per se - I want everyone, man or woman, to be free to achieve their potential, and I reject any prejudice that would prevent that.

There is no one else to blame for failing to achieve your dreams. No one can make you happy but YOU. Waiting for someone to make you happy will only bring false hope and a lifetime of loneliness.

Each one of us controls his/her own destiny, and writes the book of our lives word by word, line by line - moment by moment. It is the worst of lies to believe otherwise. It is the worst of sins to attempt to persuade someone otherwise.

Martial arts is a great way for women to become empowered. I have seen the training transform women who were timid and shy, lacking self confidence or willpower to go and make their dreams come true. They emerge radiant. Aagain and again I have seen this magic, and it never fails to amaze me.

To me, nothing is more attractive than the idea of a warrior princess - proud and strong.
Maybe she needs to take this opportunity to get into the dojo and train. Soon she will see that she can be the one to get what she wants - there is no need to wait and hope someone will simply give it to her.

Very few "princesses" truly deserve rescuing. Far better for them to rescue themselves.

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