The Countdown Begins!

Yesterday I got hit with the news...

Ramlan-sensei says I am expected to test for shodan in August...in Malasysia...

there is also a rumor that Joe-sensei might be doing the grading...



Insert PANIC here




I know I should not feel nervous, but I do nevertheless.

I tested for my first black belt in 1987...it was a tough test. empty hand, weapons, history, philosophy - the whole 9 yards. Took weeks to recover from that one, and I was 21 years old.

The RYA 1-kyu Yoshinkan test was the toughest one in recent memory, and I honestly think without the 1 hour massage beforehand I would not have made it through. It was 45 minutes of constant motion and intensity, trying to will my body to do what it knows; trying to LET GO;
trying to RELAX;
trying to STAY FOCUSED.

I would be nervous enough just having Farid-sensei and Ramlan-sensei grade me. However, hearing that Joe-sensei might be there adds another dimension to it. He is MAGIC, and by 10 years old he was better than I am now.

Sensei-Joe's "secret handshake" (aka kotegaeshi)

More than anything, I am the product of my training. I don't want to shame any of the teachers in RYA who spent so much time and energy to help me learn Yoshinkan. I don't want to embarrass Farid-sensei who travels a long way every week just to try and correct my techniques. I hope I can make them all proud to have been part of my journey to this new milestone. More to come. Plenty to do before August.

Osu!

Above the Belt

Interesting conversation over the weekend on chakras. It came about as part of a discussion we were having about why many martial arts masters smoke, drink, and have mistresses (no, I am NOT jealous).

Guro Fred expressed that they are trapped in the lower 3 chakras. Interesting point...

Asian mysticism considers chakras to be centers or "channels" of human conciousness, and defines 7 of them. From lowest to highest:

1. lower body

2. reproductive organs

3. navel

4. heart

5. throat

6. forehead (between the eyes)

7. top of the head

Our spiritual journey, according to such writings, leads us through opening these chakra, which bring us to enlightenment. However, such is not a path to be undertaken lightly. The lower chakras focus on material things such as emotion, hunger, and sexual drive. These must be relinquished if one seeks a higher level of consciousness. Buddhists will tell you that desire causes attachment, attachment leads to fear of loss, and fear of loss leads to suffering. We must LET GO in order to be free of such distraction. Not an easy task.

My whole study has been focused on making my experience of life more full and vibrant, more passionate, more involved in the lives of those around me; not less. Could I actually lower the volatility of my ups and downs and be left with a constant state of higher awareness? Wouldn't that be "boring" (not sure what else to call a life without emotional attachment)? How does one just go be "free"?

These thoughts show me that I still have so much to learn and understand in order to move forward. For now, my life is not bad despite having an emotional roller coaster. I am living vibrantly, and not sure I would ever want that to change.

Going above the belt is a scary place, and maybe fear of losing what I now have is preventing me from venturing there.

The Kid

We have all seen it, that 1984 classic, the Karate Kid.
When this movie came out, frankly I was skeptical. I had been training about 3 years under my teacher, and I thought I was a badass (doubtful I will ever think that again). The reality though, is that for all of its campy 1980s anti-style, The Karate Kid is one of the greatest martial arts movies of all time.



You loved it. You know you did. Be honest.



What do I like about it? Where do I start? This movie appeals to the Daniel-san in all of us, the underdog that wants to fit in, that wants to be accepted. At the same time, the Daniel-san who needs maturity and wisdom to reach the next level. With it come self-confidence, and a the respect of peers.

As well, we all must have our Mr. Miyagi. Someone who knows more than we do, and does not belittle us for it. One who sees our childlike selfishness as phases, and our boundless energy and enthusiasm as opportunities for development. Someone who sees the end goal for us, even when sometimes we cannot see it for ourselves. We need someone to make us start to walk, so that we can discover how important walking really is. We need a motivator. We need someone to show us how to "believe".

I love the fact that this movie presents the martial arts so positively. It includes the kind of zen dialog between Miyagi and Daniel that is so common with good teachers - that marvelous way of pointing you in the right direction and giving you enough to find the way on your own. Far too many movies emphasize the violence and lethality of martial arts; too few show the universal benefits it can bring as a way of keeping one humble and focused on personal development. Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme movies are entertaining, but miss the point for me, and cause youngsters watching to want to emulate exactly those things I would want them not to. The movies wane a bit after this first classic, but that's OK.



for a Tibetan Lama, he doesn't smile much





There will always be a romantic part of me that wants to paint fences and wax cars, knowing that it will help me win the championship at the end. That part of me still knows the crane kick can beat the five-point palm exploding heart technique. My personal Miyagis have been many, and they still have much to teach me.

Now, where's that paintbrush??

"Martial" or "Art"?

Over tea in between demonstrations yesterday, Guro Fred and I had a chat about the martial arts. It is very rare to find someone with his astounding background, which includes healing and fighting, Chinese and western styles, and a lifestyle steeped both in deep philosophy and practical application. When you visit Singapore, I suggest you empty your cup and come see for yourself. He will impress you. And he's also a really nice guy :-)

We can surely find a difference between arts that are purely combative and those which offer longevity. Boxing, Muay Thai, Krav Maga, BJJ all spring to mind as arts wich promote total combat effectiveness, at the expense of often failing to emphasize longevity or spiritual and philosophical framework. On the flip side, we consider such arts as Tai Chi or aikido as being "moving yoga", impractical in actual life-or-death confrontations. As is so often the case, BALANCE is the right approach.

In my view, Martial Arts are simply that. We must try hard to keep an equal amount of "martial" and "art" in what we do. Losing one or the other diminishes the value. Overemphasis on one or the other leaves us in danger.

Overemphasis on Martial - leads to violent tendency, short-term mentality, and damage to the body



he was never much for meditation






Overemphasis on Art - leads to false sense of security and failure to develop practical life-saving skills



helpful for picking daisies, but...




Let me be very clear - The right combination is always the combination that suits the soul of the one doing the training. I think it is very important to find a master who has the right mix for you. Failure to do so can lead to disappointment later on. By way of example, a dear friend of mine is more skewed toward martial than art, and Yoshinkan fails to satisfy his need for practicality and combat effectiveness. At the same time, I have friends for whom the martial arts is a vehicle of self-discovery, deeply connected to their worldview. Boxing is considered by them to be an improper vehicle for spiritual development.

For what it is worth, my personal goal is optimization, and I think that is best found in balance the "martial" and the "art". My experience is that this blend offers the best of both, and satisfies in times where our spirit needs a bit of each to keep growing.

Turn your TV off, have a think about it, and let me know your viewpoint.

OSU!

Being Grounded

I have read somewhere that about 70% of street fights end up on the ground (not sure how you get an accurate bit of research on that though). As well, watching IFC and many other popular MMA that abound together with the explosive popularity of BJJ these days, it is clear that for those competitions that allow groundfighting a lot of fights end up there. Why? Is it that the stand-up styles lack decisive power? Is it that the groundfighters have a game so good it is no longer possible to deliver a knockout counter before they can shoot in?

Many styles seem to forego groundfighting...in particular Yoshinkan aikido (although Aikijujitsu styles such as Takeda ryu include it). Kali Majapahit is comprehensive and I see elements of groundfighting, while at the same time there is a strong emphasis on mobility. In that sense, the ground is used quickly, as an inescapable place where the opponent can no longer backup (ie. a "wall on the floor". It certainly is admirable to keep mobility, especially when faced with multiple attackers. But is such an approach really realistic?



two of my favorite reference materials here. If either of these guys ask for your wallet, give it to them quick. :-)



I have long admired groundfighting work by Gene Lebell and Mark Hatmaker both of whom I consider among the absolute best that can be found. While neither style seems to include deep philosophy (other than perhaps combat purism), technically and scientifically you have to respect the magic these guys have.

So where does that leave us? I suppose an Indian yogi would find little karmic value in the application of a good hammerlock for submission, I also find it hard to deny that groundfighting adds versatility to your fighting, the goal of which should be to feel comfortable in any environment and any condition.

I have more to study here, but in closing I think groundfighting skills remain practical and useful in our scope of training.

Stay Well Grounded!

Less is MORE

After a week off following testing, I was very fired up to get back to Kali training, and it did not disappoint. We started off doing some chi sao (Wing Chun sticky hands) which wove into knife and stick applications as well. The key concept was "less is more". Basically, this means that you should always be using the minimum possible energy (and distance) to redirect your opponent. To do more is inefficient; which basically means you create an opening for the next attack in his/her chain. This was seen with an exaggerated block of a jab leading into an elbow, which when blocked led into a headbutt or knee, etc. Once the defense begins to come apart as a result of inefficiency, it is very hard to recover. See here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaP1X-lEtgc&NR=1

This is a video of Sifu Emin Boztepe doing Chi Sao with Michael Casey. You can see once Mr. Casey's defense begins to come undone he just gets hit more and more. The other very important thing to note here is how close together and tight sifu Boztepe's hands are. Chisao done well is done with very slight, small motions that keep the opponent thinking he will hit you, until he overextends and loses balance.

A good lesson for any training, but especially useful in Chinese/Filipino striking arts. Oh, by the way - KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE INSIDE. This also helps an awful lot.

Japan versus Philippines

Check out my new teachers!

One of the biggest differences I notice in the two types of training is the level of emphasis placed on the decisive ending "kime" in Japanese. For Japanese martial artists, the strategic idea is to draw out a committed attack from uke. That means an attack where uke really has their UPA (unified power of attack, read aikido and the dynamic sphere, thanks guys!) . Once this committed attack comes, it can be redirected and neutralized. This is achieved by taking/breaking uke's cranial and spinal balance, which leads to controls/projections and pins. Great emphasis is placed on centering your spirit and reaching zanshin, where techniques dynamically manifest. Done correctly, it is a one shot stop.

In FMA (Filipino Martial Arts), the concept of "chaining" together techniques in a flowing combination seems far more important. Once a weapon enters my sphere of control, I want to triangle into my attacker and remove it - having done so, next I want to enter and finish. A chain in FMA can be any number of techniques, but usually 5 or more. Great care is made to immobilize the opponent's weapons as they enter the sphere, and to adapt the chain as needed.

Perhaps this difference seems esoteric, but the change in attitude is enormous. For the Japanese stylist, lack of a committed attack can be problematic. Thus, fighting an opponent who likes to jab and kick low to the legs can frustrate a traditionalist, especially when the opponent has enough mobility to avoid shite driving in to secure the center of balance. For the Filipino stylist, this doesn't present the same problem. Jabs and low kicks are just weapons to be taken away, and many of the technique chains begin specifically with "attacking the attack" in order to damage uke's arms and legs before closing distance.

Plenty to think about as I explore the new surroundings at (www.nitien.com).

Integrate

Integrate - love that word. Since about a week ago, I have made a commitment to train at another school here in Singapore - Ni Tien Martial Arts (www.nitien.com) Have a look.

The senior instructor and his wife have nearly 60 years of combined experience in martial arts and teach mainly Filipino Martial Arts integrated (love that word!) with Tai Chi, western boxing, and a mashup of other stuff (even Iaijutsu!). They also teach traditional healing methods. I have found everyone to be of superior focus and attitude, and we are all really trying to FLOW. It is a great lesson to attend and I am inspired again.

One of the main differences seems to be the way the hips are used. Yoshinkan always wants the hips low and descending, putting shite's center of gravity under uke's (maybe more accurately moving uke's center of gravity onto shite's). In FPM (Filipino Martial Arts), capturing uke's center of gravity seems secondary to immobilizing uke's arms and legs. Most chains start with counters to basic attacks by controlling the center line and either going inside or outside uke. Once the attacking element (uke's arm or leg) is immobilized, uke is usualy "opened", that is to say that shite enters into close range. At that distance, knees, elbows, headbutts are used to disable uke and remove and further will to fight. The chain usually leads uke to the ground and applies a finish there. It is fast and furious and the teachers spend a lot of energy on drills to develop awareness and muscle memory.

Despite FPM's outwardly violent application (harder by far even than Krav Maga), they teach it as "a cultural vehicle for self-discovery" and maintain that the violence stays in the dojo and is really just about preserving the tradition of the arts the way they are taught in the Philippines.

I have always been fascinated by the practicality of the Filipino styles, and fortunate to have found a school that teaches them so well here. Life is full of surprises, and the good ones are better by far than the bad ones. I am hopeful that this school will not only enrich my time here in The Lion City, but also give me a chance to bring together a lifetime of my own study.

Integrate? Inte-GREAT!

Where Do I Go From Here?

We all go through peaks and valleys in our training. It could happen any time, for example after a big event such as a rank test or demo. It could even happen simply because it's been too long without a big event. We question our training, ourselves, and the point of it all. We want some validation or proof of progress, and without it we doubt our abilities. What to do about that?

Yoshinkan is especially hard to measure, since we have very rigid structure and lack of "points" or "rounds" or other methods which are easy to count. It is very different from boxing or Judo or other "sport" arts, and even from karate with its many kata and competition fighting.

Yoshinkan training is really about learning to control your own body. Of course, by exploring our bodies and learning what unbalances them, we learn to unbalance our attackers. By learning what makes us strong, we learn to take strength away from our attackers.

The Yoshinkan techniques are all specifically designed to introduce students to the core principles and help show examples of how to apply these principles in certain circumstances so we can master the body movements.

Specifically we have to learn balance, power, smoothness, focus, centering, sinking, extension, relaxation, contact, distance and breathing. These are universal and done in every single technique. Together, we study Ikkajo, Nikajo, Sankajo, Yonkajo, and the throws and Osae against all the common attacks and angles to program specific responses. We train these until we achieve muscle memory and can do them without thinking about them.

The goal is to learn to do the techniques correctly as easily and naturally as walking down the street. It is only then that we can stop thinking and free our minds to extend our energy outward. Properly done, Yoshinkan becomes a kind of "Moving Zen" when we remove outside distractions and no longer think about ourselves or our partners.

When we have reasonable success with this already difficult challenge, we must seek consistency - so that we keep a high energy level and relaxed state simultaneously whenever we are on the mats. That becomes a benefit we can take with us outside the dojo as well, which will help us live our lives vibrantly and cope with daily stress, as well as enriching our human relationships and promoting our overall mental and physical health.

There is so much to do and learn, I hope your training never gets boring. Training plateaus occur, as do peaks and valleys. Resist complacency. Take a deep breath, take your time, but keep moving forward. I promise you will get there. Let's go together.

Osu!

Once you go black you never go back

She made it!!

After more than 3 years of dedicated training, she passed her shodan (first degree black belt) at Honbu Dojo. I wish I could have been there. First of all, a big Otsukare-sama for her. The belt represents a serious commitment. It shows. She is no longer the scared little girl who showed at the 5:45 am lesson shaking with fear at what might happen to her. Now, I look at her and see a proud, confident, capable lady who commands and deserves respect.

She has mastered her own life by mastering her aikido. She believes in herself and in her techniques, and that in itself is beautiful. Her comment to me was "Now I can walk around town without makeup on. I could never do that before". You said it Little Sister.
You are beautiful and radiant just as you are. No need to change a thing.

It has been a very long time since I got my first black belt (20 years to be exact), and I will never forget that feeling. I was different, but it was hard to explain. Somehow, my life had a certain intensity that it didn't have before. I have never forgetten that the magic is there, but it is really refreshing to see it happen to someone, day by day. Going forward she will be a great teacher, because she knows the value of hard work and the commitment needed to be good at aikido.

So what happens next? Here are some random thoughts my teacher gave me 20 years ago...

the invisible belt - once you put that black belt on, it never comes off again (metaphorically of course). You are a black belt 24 hours a day, no matter where you are. It is a constant burden of reponsibility that you are now strong enough to carry. Bear it with pride.

leadership - the road to black belt should include the experience of looking after your juniors and being a role model to them, long before you ever put that belt on. Now it is implicit. They will look to you as an example of The Way. You must give 100% to make sure that path shines true and clear, and to never disappoint their dreams of what and who a black belt should be. You will be a part of them changing their lives. Get ready for it. You are living proof of what can be achieved through hard work and commitment.

relentless and unforgiving - the black belt opens the door to a new stage of your training. Now you can no longer forgive yourself for anything less than your personal best. You must deliver 100% every moment, on the mats and off, and are expected to hold yourself and your aikido to higher level of awareness and perfection than before. Getting there showed you have heart; going forward you must show consistency. That will require you to be relentless and unforgiving in your own training.

mercy - as much as you must be relentless and unforgiving on yourself from now on, you must never fail to show mercy and have understanding for others who have not been called to The Way yet. The struggle to this milestone has contained many obstacles and hardships, and you must never forget that others also face them every day. You must have strength in excess to help them get through. Draw from your energy and give it to them.

rock of strength - in traditional schools, a student was not even entered into the dojo register until shodan. Before that you just didn't even exist. Having been listed on the books, now you are the kind of person the teachers should be able to build a strong school on. You are a foundation stone. Don't forget it.

With great power comes great responsibility. It is not given lightly and should not be taken lightly. There is real magic here, and real magic, the kind that changes lives, is hard to find these days. Little Sister, you are truly one of my inspirations, one of my heroes - you will change the lives of many. Ganbatte!!

Ouch!

Jammed my thumb into David's neck last week (by accident), and it has been hurting ever since. I think I jammed it again. That brings us to the question of training when injured. Without question, training in the martial arts will result in some injuries no matter how safely you train. What do you do about it?

This is not Major League Baseball, so I think it is wrong to stop training every time you have chapped lips or a stubbed toe. Basically, we usually tape up and get back to the training. I have dislocated my left hip and my right shoulder (thankfully not at the same time) on the mats and continued to train. I did it because I bought into the whole "hard-core" nature of my youthful training. Sadly, it was also among the more foolish decisions I have made, since at 41 years old I can feel both of them every time it gets cold. I wish I had been smarter. you CAN be.

Some advice from me:

• seek medical help for anything serious - take no chances
• stretch out before (and preferably after as well) every workout - even more important as the temperature drops
• show up for class even if you cannot train - it can be a good chance to observe and take notes or film the lesson
• allow your body enough time to heal - do not rush back into the training until you feel ready again
• understand that this is part of the training process - use it as a chance to become more aware and "in tune" with your body

"It's just an eye. The Gods saw fit to grace me with a spare"...yeah right.

I don't know about you, but I am not a spartan, and I believe the goal of martial arts training is to increase our mobility rather than decrease it.

Train Smart.

Osu.

Ignorance is Bliss

Found the book Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes yesterday at ABC Books in Roppongi for Y500...What a bargain.

I remember this book well from school days and it was always one of my favorites. It is the story of a mentally retarded man, Charlie Gordon, who with an IQ of 68 is aware that he is not smart (like a Forrest Gump) but nonetheless is basically happy working as a janitor at a bakery.

He is selected for an "operashun" which is designed to increase his intelligence, and succeeds by "making him smart like other peepul". His newfound intelligence brings with it new awareness - for example how his "friends" at the bakery were actually making fun of him the whole time, and allows him to experience the joy and sorrow of discovery and knowledge.

The book takes a turning point when the original test subject of the operation, a mouse named Algernon, dies, and Charlie's intelligence begins to fade away, and he realizes he will also die as a result of having had the surgery. He can feel his understanding slipping away as he starts to forget things again...

It is errily told in the first person through Charlie's journal entries. This book is quite frankly one of the most tragically beautiful stories I have ever read. It is the classic parable of the garden of Eden. Once becoming aware of the existence of the tree of knowledge, how can Adam not eat the fruit?? It touches me on so many levels and leaves me with questions I have been unable to answer for the past 30 years.

* is it wrong to strive for understanding?

* at what cost should we try to be "like other folks"?

* is the chance to be smarter worth dying for?

* is better not to know?

* what do you do when you are faced with your own impending death?

* how do you live each day and make it precious?

Forrest Gump tackled some of these questions in a gentle and humorous way showing us that perhaps ignorance really is bliss. Maybe Charlie Gordon would have been better off never having had that surgery...what do you think?

Relevant to aikido?? of course!! (what isn't?)

There is always a tendency to over-intellectualize what happens in the dojo. It is not wrong to think about the techniques or the training. Aikido can be learned with the mind, but it must be understood with the body and felt with the spirit. It is actually about thinking less rather than thinking more.

Do not suspect that making your aikido "smarter" will improve it. There is no King's Road, and the secret of aikido training lies in the TRAINING. There is just no substitute. Do not shy away from the sweat and hard work that make your aikido strong.

Read the book if you get a chance.

See you on the mat.

Osu!

Do You Speak Aikido?

Yes, aikido is a language. In fact, we could call it a "physical language"; a "communication between shite and uke".

If you look at it, aikido includes all the elements we find in other forms of communication (including both verbal and non-verbal). Let me be very clear about the fact that this is not due to aikido words being in Japanese, since native Japanese will go through the same process of learning as non-Japanese and may even have a disadvantage due to misunderstanding the application of Japanese language to the aikido language. Those languages may share some cultural linkages, just as Hamlet, Beowulf, and The Canterbury Tales have cultural connections to modern English, but we can hardly call them the same thing.

As a beginner in aikido, we learn like any baby learns any language. We mimic our parents "teachers" and learn from our older siblings "sempai", ocassionally even picking up words and phrases that they don`t want us to. We are the mirrors of our parents, and will reflect their mannerisms unconciously. At this level, we struggle with our bodies to make the sounds of aikido, and usually with only limited success. It can be frustrating. Our words are clumsy, and we have trouble to say more than one at a time. We fail to grasp the meanings fully, but are trying very hard to make ourselves understood. repetition fosters confidence.

After some time, we have learned some of the basic words like kamae, and are beginning to "speak". However, we may still be translating in our heads (in this case translating words to actions), which takes time, and may have trouble carrying on more than a "one-sided" conversation. We begin to discover how this communication can give us certain responses in certain situations, but we have a long way to go before we achieve fluency.

Over a period of many years, often without realizing it, we reach a point where the language of aikido becaomes native and fluent to us. At this level, we can combine words and phrases, and our use of this language can even be considered elegant. Our physical "dialogue" with uke becomes a real communication, with all the subleties that entails, and we can both speak and listen to each other. We are able to interact in nearly any situation effortlessly, and no longer have to translate phrases like shiho nage and kote gaeshi in our minds before we use them.

OK, now you can probably see where this is going. This also means that the same techniques I used to learn japanese will work for learning aikido. I want to:

1) Immerse myself as much as possible
2) Practice regularly with a variety of conversation partners
3) Build vocabulary and become fluent in fundamentals first
4) Seek out and eliminate mistakes; try to make even small improvements
5) Try over time to focus on chaining together words into phrases
6) Remember to build listening as well as speaking comprehesion
7) Seek out examples of the language all around me and try to understand them
8) Be aware of my own growth and not get frustrated even at failed attempts
9) Use my language as a way of connecting to others
10) Never stop learning

Like any language, English, for example, there are dialects. We find under the general language of aikido, dialects like Yoshinkan, Tomiki, Aikikai, Shinshintoitsu and others, which organically arise from circumstance and situation. We are still able to share a foundation with these other languages and can communicate on a basic level, even though some dialects "spell words" and use them a bit differently sometimes (like the differences between Parisian French and Canadian French or between American, British, Australian, and South African English).

Finally, along the idea of aikido as communication/language, I want to leave all of you with the same few questions I have been asking myself as I wrote this:

• How will I communicate? harsh and rude? Or elegant and kind?
• Will my words hurt or help other people?
• Will I be able to listen as well as speak?
• Will my words "persuade" my partner?
• What does my use of words say about me as a person?

Looking forward to our next "mat chat"...

Osu!

Who I Am

Life is a constant process of self-discovery. We all wear masks, and part of the benefit of training is learning to see ourselves without them: as truthfully as possible. Who I am cannot be summarized on a one-page resume. I am not my business card. I am not my tailored suit or my expensive shoes. I am not my expensive watch or my luxury car or my home address or my penthouse view or my place on the org chart or my email or my mobile phone or my blackberry or even this blog (although the blog is closer than the others) .
OK Then, Who am I?

When I enter the dojo all the worldly trappings are left behind. I take off all the things that make me someone else. I put on the same white uniform and belt that everyone else wears. The color may be different, but what it represents is not. It represents the same commitment we share to our aikido training.

The person in the dojo is who I really am.
That is the person who can get up early in the cold darkness (at least all winter long), leave a sleeping family, and go to train before work. That is the person who can be sharp and focused, who can give 100%, who can be dedicated, who can be disciplined, who can be loyal. That is the person who overcomes hardship and who never gives up; the person who relentlessly pursues his dream until he reaches it. That is the person who can be a student; a teacher; a leader; a friend. That is the person who is strong, confident, and full of life and energy.
If I can be that person inside the dojo I can be that person outside the dojo.

So Can You.

Sadly, the person in the dojo can also be the opposite of all those attributes as well. When I make excuses or am lazy or unmotivated. The times when I am frustrated or have a short temper, the times when I want to give up (but thankfully don't).

Do not miss the chance to practice being the person you want to be.
Do not miss the chance to become the person you want to be.

Osu!

Precision, Precision, Precision

Have a l0ok at Otake-sensei.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVBox1dnEd4

He has long been one of the best examples of beautiful, precise swordsmanship as done in Katori Shinto Ryu, one of the oldest styles still in practice today.
Pay extra careful attention to the following:

1) his posture - ramrod-straight back
2) his decisveness - from inaction to full speed in an instant
3) his concentration - you can "feel" the technique start and end by his presence alone

It is also worth mentioning that you never see him "trying to be strong". He lets the technique do his job, and his power comes from his overall body motion, not from the swing of his arms.
Since modern aikido derives a large portion from the movements of the sword, there is much to gain from looking at these masters.

If my aikido could be that precise, it would be invincible.

Osu!

Grabbing uke`s elbow in shiho nage?

Hmmm...very interesting. Aikikai people seem to have a habit of grabbing uke`s elbow in shiho-nage to keep the angle and help the throw. Not something we do in Yoshinkan, but valid nonetheless?

Personally, I usually envision making a big circle in front of my chest so that my arms are extended in a roughly circular shape, which gives tension to the shiho nage shape. However, it is true that the arm that is underneath uke`s outstreched elbow (just prior to the shiho nage compression) could conceivably grab uke`s elbow and help out, similar to what aikikai people do.

A very subtle point indeed, but was clear on the aikido3d software, and very different from what we do.

Worth a try next time...

Hippy Hippy Shake

So much of what happens in an aikido technique is about hips.

When we discuss how uke`s balance gets broken, it is often in the context that we connect uke to our hips, our center of power, and from there our motion takes uke`s balance naturally.

Low hips = low center of gravity

A vital part of how smaller people use these techniques very successfully against larger people. The fact is, the breaking of uke`s balance is even more dramatic the lower shite`s hip line is in comparison. Of course, shite cannot allow any lean forward or loss of kamae. Rather, proper use of the knees allows us to make that center of gravity lower. It is especially evident in how powerful the kneeling techniques are against standing opponents.

The more we train, the more I am aware that body momentum (from moving) is less the focal point that the hip line and center of gravity. Now I believe that the objective is to use the arms/hands to connect uke to our hipline, and mobility to direct that hip line low to the point that most quickly and efficiently breaks uke`s balance.

Back to the lab as soon as I can to test this one out.

Osu!

The Pause that Refreshes

Reviewing aikido3d (www.aikido3d.com) software again and again reminded me of some very important points, one of them namely being the way uke depends on shite for balance throughout the technique. Many times during practice we find ourselves stepping through the motion without regard for the spatial relationship of ourselves to uke, and not at all considering how uke`s balance is broken, and kept broken, until the end. The "Pause" I refer to above is the pause while uke`s balance breaks, and we allow them to "fall" into the next part of the motion, inevitably ending up in a projection or down to the mate for a pin. The grace of aikido is really that the result is always inevitable, and from the first moment of dynamic contact, uke is led irreversibly to the conclusion. This is wrongly achieved through strength or speed; it is correctly achieved by proper form and timing, which result in the breaking of uke`s balance at each point.

So next time, try not to go so fast, but rather to feel the break point and pause while it happens, allow uke to be lost in that moment of unbalance, and the next step should easily present itself.

Osu!

Aikido3D

Downloaded this bad boy today.
http://www.aikido3d.com/

You can see from the link it is a pretty revolutionary. It reminds me of the early version of Sega VirtuaFighter. Basically employs the same technology of motion capture on Uke and Shite and goes through 100 or so of the most common attackswith some search functionality as well.

Have been playing with this and although it is Aikikai and not Yoshinkan, it is still a very interesting product with temendous potential. I would like to see this applied to a lot of other products as well, especially ground work (like the Mark Hatmaker series on submission wrestling or boxing) and of course it would be good for things like dance lessons and the like.
Lots of ways I can think to use this as a training tool.

A lot of subtle parts of the macro movements, balance, and the like that you can pick up from this product.

Osu!

John

Lists

Just finished reading Schindler's List by Thomas Keneally.

http://www.amazon.com/Schindlers-Penguin-Joint-Venture-Readers/dp/0582788943/sr=1-4/qid=1169180813/ref=sr_1_4/105-0820460-9666821?ie=UTF8&s=books

For those of you who have not read the book or seen the compelling movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108052/ it is the story of Oskar Schindler, a Sudeten German who ended up risking his life being the savior of more than 1,000 Jewish people in Poland and Czecheslovakia during World War 2. It is an emotional story about emotional times, which also shows that even in the darkest hours, human spirit endures. If one did not know it were true, it would be unbelievable.

We Honeymans are originally Russian jews from Tirov, near Minsk in Russia. Grandpa Jack came to New York via Ellis Island just after the Bolshevik revolution, but the branch of the family that remained in Russia all died during the war. There was no Oskar Schindler to save them.

Although genocides are not uncommon in human history (some having been done by British and Americans themselves), the films taken at Auschwitz and other concentration camps were the first time such events were captured on film and photo and widely publicized. It is shocking to me that despite this, human beings have learned so little. Since Hitler and the genocide against jews in Europe, there have been a number of similar atrocities. Among them Stalin's genocide of his own people in Russia, Pol Pot's massacre of his own people in Cambodia, Pinochet's torture and murder in Chile, ethnic cleansing in Bosnia, tribal conflict in Africa, Russian mass murder of Afganis during their campaign there (not to mention the oppressive Taliban regime), Saddam Hussein's recent murder of rival factions in Iraq, and the list goes on and on. When will people EVER learn?

Yet another astounding thing about this story is that the perpetrators of the Jewish genocide were mainly Protestant Christians (Lutherans). Of course, religious persecution is one of the oldest justifications for genocide, but all Christians must be aware of the very simple ten commandments given by God. "Thou Shalt Not Kill". This does not include any exemptions or exclusions. It is a pretty simple four-word order that should leave no room for interpretation in the minds of any reader and believer. Still it seems not to be enough.

It got me thinking about lists, since that list literally meant the difference between life and death. There are good and bad lists all around us, and keepers of lists as well. What lists do you control? And who is affected by them? Are you righteous and just? Are the people on the list "people" to you? Or have they been dehumanized into names? or even worse, numbers?

All around me I see lists. Lists for who gets promoted, lists for who gets into private school, lists for who gets vital information, etcetera. email lists, action item lists, song playlists, honor rolls, detention lists, wish lists...

There is a terrifying reality that our lives are determined, sometimes forever, by the lists we are on. There is a real practical value in learning the skill of getting on and off of lists.

I pray that I would have the courage to help other people when faced with "the impossibility of reason"...Yoshinkan training is supposed to bring everyone closer and closer, until there is only One list with EVERYONE'S name on it...May God bless us all.

"he who saves a single life, saves the world entire"

Takeno-Sensei

Wow! Takeno-sensei!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYmoSu46Ar4

He truly has it all...everything that Yoshinkan should be.
Dynamic, precise, graceful, harmonic -> POWERFUL

All the masters I have seen have elements that fascinate. Still, every time I watch him it takes my breath away. We all manifest aikido in accord with our own nature, and it is very hard to describe the end goal in words. His aikido is the closest example I can give to what I am looking for. To everyone who thinks aikido doesn't work: go ahead and grab this guy!! (you can give me your opinion of what happened when you regain conciousness)

One thing that should be evident to even a casual observer is how his WHOLE BODY is involved in every technique. Takeno-sensei is not a giant, but his aikido is like a mountain. I think this is one of the keys.

Osu!

John

New Year's Resolutions

well...it's a new year. That has some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that not only did I not forget my techniques over the three week break I had, it basically feels like I never stopped. This must mean that even if my concious mind forgets, my body remembers. That's good.

The bad is that I was not able to test for 1-kyu in December as planned, and I find myself feeling increasingly depressed by that. Of course, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter, but somehow it has been hard for me to let go. I am good enough to have passed, but somehow in the midst of everything going on in Dec, it just wasn't meant to be. I guess it will be easier in March when I take the test, but I wish I had already done it, that's all.

I will have to learn to let go of this attachment or it will poison my current traning. I must focus on just being and giving 100% every time I am on the mat, and the rest will happen in the natural order of things.

See you tomorrow.

Osu!

Another Year in the Bag

That's it - training finished for 2006...how was it for you? I hope you worked hard, had fun, and learned a lot along the way.

What am I wishing for in 2007??

• have more training time
• do less business travel
• listen more
• be more patient
• participate more

I want my aikido to show in every moment of every day, like a magic I have; A magic that others will wish they did, too. At the heart of what we do is fellowship and community, not just with each other in Yoshinkan, but with all the people in the world who are training hard every day to give their life structure and discipline, and who use this opportunity to become better people.

My heartfelt thanks to everyone whose support helps give me courage to continue.

Warm Wishes and Happy Holidays!!

Osu! John

Having a "Near-Life" Experience

During the busy nights of drinking last week an interesting conversation happened that I want to share with you...my co-worker, Jae, is a devout Christian. He was raised Christian, and later began to practice voluntarily (not just out of habit). Because he is a practical, smart, single young man in a business of high stress and pressure (PT sales), he is a great mirror through which I try to understand how devout Christians apply their religion to their complex daily lives.

Over many sessions, he and I have discussed the difference between his religion (Christianity) and mine (martial arts). We did so again last Thursday. He related a story to me of his business trip to the US in September, and of nearly having a plane crash on a flight from Chicago to San Francisco. All around him, people were screaming, franctically trying to make cell phone calls, and basically in a chaotic panic. Eeven seasoned flight attendants broke down hysterially. As far as they could tell, it was their last few moments of life. What would YOU do?? Jae told me that he closed his eyes and realized he was helpless, realized he loved Jesus Christ, and that he would go to heaven. He was no longer afraid. he asked me if martial arts would give me the same comfort and piece of mind. He called it a "near death" experience. I call it a "near-life" experience. These are the times that help us break through to the other side of our conciousness and really truly begin to understand ourselves and our lives.

I have not been near death in a long time (last time I was 21 years old). At that time, it would have been hard to say I felt anything but anger. Not fear, anger. That was a long time ago, and now I am married with a family of my own. What would I feel this time?

I contend that our study of The Way is designed to give us courage in the face of hardship, including death. Many take the words of books like Hagakure "The Way of the samurai lies in Death" to mean that one must not embrace life and long for death in every waking moment. Wrong. In fact, study of death through martials arts should yield an appreciation of our own frailty and mortality; and at the same time, our ability to overcome these limitations and be so much more. We must discover the joy of every day, knowing that each morning could be our last. This means leaving nothing unsaid, living each moment as fully as we can, so that even until the last breath, we have been fulfilled and are thus satisfied and ready to let go.

This makes me especially sad when I see people like Seagal-sensei, who has trained for so many years and still knows only anger. Or my wife's yoga teacher, who has trained his whole life and does not know peace. If so, did they both waste their time?

I hope that my last lesson to my boys will be the lesson of how to let go with courage and dignity. Until then, they and the others close to me will know that I love them, because I will tell them and show them often. I will live my life 100% without regret.

On the mats as well, I will give 100% so that I get 100%.

And if today is my last day, so be it.
If it is not, see you on the mats tomorrow.

Osu!

Have you had a "near-life experience"? What was it??

The "Eyes" have it

Another important idea today...where are you looking??

In addition to all the other things that make our techniques work, the eyes are a vital component to putting it all together.

On a metaphysical level, our eyes/gaze , called metsuke in Japanese, are part of the way that we focus our energy and attention on the matter at hand. They should give uke pause, and show that shite is tuned into the moment. Some say you should focus on a point just at the top of uke's sternum, meaning not to look uke directly in their eyes, but it is a very subtle point.

At the practical level, we tend to move our head where our eyes are looking. If we look away, our head can turn, taking our strength and balance with it. Yet another reason why it is important to keep our eyes squarely on our opponent(s).

I would suggest putting your gaze in a central location on or about the chest of your opponent, with head slightly tilted to allow for better peripheral vision. In any case, it is important that your head/spine not be turned and be straight just as your back should be straight.

"see" what I mean?

Osu!

Might versus Right

I know what you're thinking..."why isn't it working??" It happens to all of us. It happens for a long time. It's frustrating as hell. That feeling when you apply a technique and uke just stands there with a blank, bored expression. NOTHING HAPPENS. We've all been there. So, what do you do??

For most of us, you gun it. You apply more strength to try and muscle the person into the technique, as if you would smack the round peg with a hammer to get it through the square hole. Hmmm...I admit it is very gratifying to see uke respond in the technique the way you think it should work. However, as Saori says "aikido is for everyone, but everyone is not for aikido". The truth is that application of a lot of muscle power is counter-intuitive to the proper application of aikido techniques. In aikido, uke is the one that should be doing the hard work. Shite should be relying on timing, position, movement, atemi, and the rotation of the hips as the primary means of getting uke off balance and keeping uke off balance until the dynamic result (projection or control) inevitably occurs. Of course, when done from a static position as kihon waza, it's really hard to get that all the time and get that response from every uke.

However, let's look at it from uke's point of view as well. As uke, should you just "go with it" so that you are faking a result? Yes...and no. Yes in that as uke you want to experience the projections and controls to understand them, and you want to give shite a chance to feel the dynamic feeling of applying them. At the same time, wrong is wrong, and it does not help shite to go with it if the basic principes (as I described above) are lacking. A fine line indeed.

Here's my advice.

1) focus on the basics - timing, position, movement, atemi, and the rotation of the hips

2) remember as uke that the dojo is a place of learning

Uke's primary goal in the dojo is giving. That means giving of time, energy, and body to help shite master the principles by applying technicques over and over. That's also why we bow to each other and why we change places frequently. We respect and appreciate uke's sacrifice, and we want to share all facets of the experience.

I think it is best not to worry so much about whether or not each kihon waza really "works". It is more important to try and remember the learning point of each technique and drill it with the intent of mastering the application of the key components of every techniquen namely, timing, position, movement, atemi, and the rotation of the hips. In time, all techniques are one, and they will all have the right result.

I know it is tough. Lest we forget, Patience is another element we must practice in the dojo.

One Little Word

Sometimes that makes all the difference. Today we worked on ushiro ryote mochi sankajo osae 1 & 2. Technically, we were able to get it fairly accurate. However, I was aware after the lesson that I spent most of the time doing the technique TO Saori and David, rather than WITH Saori and David.

Of course I know that Aikido's "ai" means harmony and refers to the dynamic union of shite and uke at that brief moment in time when they are together in a single motion. Easier said than done.

To me, that is the next level of improvement in my training...to respond to the feedback from uke dynamically, and make the technique a single fluid motion between us. That will take the rest of my life to achieve, but well worth it. Work on this concept more in class tomorrow.

Osu!

John

Vital Signs

vi‧tal  /[vahyt-l] –adjective
1. of or pertaining to life
2. having remarkable energy, liveliness, or force of personality
3. necessary to life
4. necessary to the existence, continuance, or well-being of something
5. of critical importance
6. indispensible

Vital. I like that word, and have been thinking about it all morning. That is how I want my training to be. Vital. Having remarkable energy. Necessary to my well-being. indispensible.

Like many things in our lives, when they are neglected or taken for granted, they diminish.
I often worry that my training will lose focus and intensity, especially when I am travelling so much and burdened with so many other things. It is especially important for me to make my time on the mats counts, and to never become complacent with my current level.

I continue to believe that who I am in the dojo is who I am out of the dojo (at least who I want to be). Vibrant. Participating. Supportive. Obsessed with excellence.

I hope you, too, can keep your energy level high when we train, and be sure to be in the lesson 100% every moment we are there together. Be Vital.

Osu!

John

"whenever I move, that is aikido"

Excellent quote from O-Sensei, and worthy of a lot of consideration.

I saw it here on a you tube site which looks like Aikikai guys from Sweden or Finland (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYRrlKgRNQ4). A very cool clip of some very cool guys. I also like this clip from Master Tony Yates (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aicHsMC6rxM)

I escpecially note his crisp footwork and very strong atemi, which rocks uke back onto his heels. To me, both of these are great examples of final product after years of work, where the motions are strong and balanced, and there is a dynamic contact between shite and uke.

I get excited whenever I see people that good. I want to be that good. You probably do too.
"Whenever I move, that is aikido"...someday...

Osu!

John

Softly softly

Just noticed this morning how soft my uniform had become...I bought it on eBay some time ago, and it arrived crisp enough to stand on its own. It actually hurt to wear it for awhile. Now it is as soft as a flannel blanket, which is somehow comforting.

When I started in Yoshinkan I was the same way. Every motion was all muscle power and force against force, which from my prior training I thought was the right way. Now, the trick is how to get the most result out of the least effort. To use the hips rather than the arms and chest, to be subtle and, for lack of a better term, "soft". At this point Yoshinkan becomes very efficient.

One of the most wonderful things about Yoshinkan is the subtle nature of the techniques, and the blend of linear and circular shapes. Unlike purely linear styles like Wing Chun, Yoshinkan allows for circles and spirals of all shapes and sizes as a way of redirecting motion and capturing uke from the most advantageous angle. Each movement should set up the next, in an inevitable dance that leads uke's attempt to rebalance into an osae or nage.

The discovery here never seems to end, as each technique challenges us to explore how the human body affects balance and strength, and how to remove them with the minimal amount of effort. Still so much to learn, and truly fascinating stuff.

Osu!

Cause and Effect

Today we spent the whole lesson practicing and discussing how to make an effect happen on uke. Specifically, it was the effect of their balance falling into position so that your own body shift can be at the right place at the right time. It all hinged on being able to move their arm to a certain position, behind which their balance was dependent. It got me thinking, though.

If we observe carefully, we can start to see the ways in which our actions impact the lives of other people. Sometimes willfully, sometimes unintentionally, but ALWAYS. I find it amazing that our second son is so quiet and calm compared to our first. maybe it is just because he is different. But maybe it is also because WE are different.

Take a look around you. See all the people you interact with on a daily basis. All of their lives can be dynamically changed by being in contact with you - just as uke is changed by being in contact with you. The power in this is impossible to deny.

Osu!

The Fork in The Road

We have all faced it, and we will all face it again. The fork in the road between right action and easy action. This can take many forms. Sometimes it means the difference in doing something just for one's own selfish desires, and doing for the greater good. Sometimes it is simple difference between right and wrong, made worse by the delusion that we can do wrong and "not get caught".

Make no mistake, we are in combat every day. This combat is a "combat of the soul" and our victory is the victory of our good human nature over the evil that men do. We live in a world of temptation.

I want very much to believe that martial arts training prepares us to win these battles, the little battles inside us every day that cause us to give in to temptation, or help us to stand strong against it. The temptation to sleep in late and be lazy can be overcome, as we have found from our years of training together at 5:45 AM. So too, can other temptations be overcome, and allow us to choose long-term benefit over short-term satisfaction. We win a little bit every day.

Of all the challenges we face in our lives, the challenge to choose right action in the right moment without hesitation is to me the central goal of my life on this earth. I know my training will give me the courage to win this battle again and again.

What will you do next time you stand at the fork in the road? Will you be proud of the choice you make? Will your training give you the strength to do what is right?

I wish you the same victory I wish for myself.

Osu!!

John

Get a Grip

Good lesson today training in suwariwaza/tachiwaza sankajo from katatemochi and shomen uchi. On important thing in Yoshinkan that I often neglect is the need to grip uke's arm. Not sure if it's because I am trying too hard to flow, or just afraid to grab the arm. However, it is an integral part of several of the key controls in Yoshinkan that you actually GRAB uke's arm (usually elbow) and rotate it as part of the process of taking uke's elbow/shoulder and breaking the balance. The kihon shomen uchi responses for ikkajo, nikajo, sankajo, and yonkajo (ichi variations primarily) are prime examples since they depend on this rotation to unbalance uke and begin the dynamic motion of the technique. Without gripping and rotating, the technique feels weak and often fails to control uke effectively.

It is important to remember to get a grip.

Osu!

John

It Is What It Is

The other day I heard from my college friend Rob. What a great surprise. I remember the first day that I joined the fencing class at College of DuPage, and we became instant friends. That led to a wonderful time in my life from 87-90 or so, with a lot of discussions about everything and the occasional spontaneous camping trip thrown in for good measure. He asked me, "what is Ki?" Yikes. After being involved in the martial arts in one way or another for almost all of my life (all of it that meant anything, anyway), had I found the answer yet? At the same time, the answer to this elusive goal is something that most of us have in the back of our mind all along this journey, and the answer changes as we change. As well, this question speaks to the nature of we martial artists as spiritual beings, and underpins the close relationship to Buddhism and Shinto in our training. Hollywood movies attempt to make a lot out of this, whether it is the insidious Star Wars saga with its "May the Force be with You" or the Karate Kid series "wax on, wax off". For a preface, I would say that any traditional zen master confronted with such a question would be likely to give the student a whack with the kyosaku (the "stick of awakening" used during zazen training) not just because even they might not know the answer, but also since the question is even more important than the answer, and trying to put it into words could not do it justice. However, here's my personal view. You need not agree with it or believe it. Even I may not believe it next time I read this. KI refers to several things. Here I want to look at two broad topics: 1) the force of life 2) faith or conviction An example of the first of the above two points: I am amazed at the grip my newborn second son Ray has, even though he is only 10 days old. He cries with a singular sense of purpose, much more loudly than I could if I were his size, and it is pure and without prejudice. Life wants only to live, and this driving force is KI. It is what causes fish to swim upstream, birds to migrate thousands of miles, and trees to grow in even the most hostile of conditions. It is at once a beautiful and desperate thing, and involves the instinctive hope of any living thing to survive and prosper. What we feel here is the most primal of all our basic natures, and animals are great examples of KI. It is for this purpose that man-made things do not have KI. Quite simply, there is no life force in things which were never alive (although I must confess I like the romantic idea of Japanese swords and other ancient things having KI). We are also made acutely aware of this force when people die. It is as if the light leaves their body and what has held their molecules in the same place for so long just lets go and then the light goes out. We are all born with KI, which is in us until we die. This is our common starting point and our connection to the natural world around us. A deep awareness of this through meditation can help develop our "connected feeling" (the AI in Aikido) but everyone has KI regardless of whether they know/acknowledge it or not. Considering our KI as our "soul" gives a Christian connotation which is not really appropriate, and also hints at Buddhist discussion about such things as whether animals have souls/Buddha natures, which is more academic than is necessary here, it is enough to say that since they are alive they have KI. An example of the second part is during certain classes when I finally stop thinking and analyzing and just let my body move as it has been taught. This purity in motion, rare as it is for me, is when I let my faith in my techniques, my training, and myself take over. This is really where we have an opportunity to develop KI. When we extend our KI in class, or in our life, what we are doing is extending our faith and conviction in the moment at hand. This is faith and conviction in ourselves, in our cause, and in our technique. We TRUST. That is also KI. We let go and allow what is to be, to be. Our training should help us to have this happen more and more often, until it becomes our natural state of being. That is, always letting go, and allowing ourselves to be connected to the natural world around us and, more importantly, not resisting that connection but instead rejoicing in it. I have mentioned in other posts about "right action in the right moment without hesitation", and I believe this is a central concept to KI development, and the instinctive, decisive action it helps develop deepens our connection to our life force (as above). Humans are unique among the Earth's creatures in that we are self-aware (and may be the only living things on Earth that are so). This means that we can be conscious of these things, and can actively seek to deepen our connection. So saying, we can develop our KI, at least inasmuch as we can make better use of the Ki we have been given. Rob mentioned to me that he is "in tune with his body", to which I would say that strength of the body is surely important, but even more important is to be in tune with the world around us, since that is a power greater than our own. I am setting the stage for a larger post about martial arts and religion which I owe this blog, but for now I want to get this out as a starting point. I want to know what YOU think. Maybe we can find the answer together. OSU! John

"You will Want That Time Back Someday"

I suppose each of us has his or her own reasons for starting the long road of training in the Martial Arts. The great part is that over time, we realize benefits we did not foresee. In my case, self defense was the initial motivator, but I quickly found the spiritual side of the training to be a good guide for the rest of my life as well.

In my early teens, for some reason, I become obsessed with my own mortality, and wanted to overcome my fear of death, to be able to have "right action in the right moment without hesistation" which can only come from living without fear. Over time I learned that this is much more about not being afraid of Life than it is about not being afraid of Death. By this, I mean not being afraid to take chances and reach for your dreams; not being afraid of failing as often as it takes to reach your goals.

After several years of training, and some of my own close brushes with death, I was convinced that I had overcome such fears and was free to act. That is, I was no longer afraid of dying. The truth is, though, that at that age (20 or so), I had nothing to lose that I put a high value on. The rest of my life had yet to unfold. With nothing to lose, throwing away one's life no longer seems like such a noble gesture. Rather, it was just the angst and wasteful stupidity of youth.

Now, at nearly 40, my life has become rich beyond my wildest expectations. I have a wonderful family, many friends, and a challenging job. I have been able to take part in the happiness and success of those around me, and actually play a vital part in their lives, which is what I really wanted. Am I still unafraid to die? Could I let go if I had to??

I have to say YES, if I had to, I believe I could still give up my life (of course, one never knows until that exact moment). The very fact that I can say YES now is much more important now than it was when I believed it at 20. I have so much to lose now, and so much to let go of in such a case. The only things I will have are the belief that I have lived my life well and fully, without regret, and the desire to leave one final legacy for those I have known, which is the lesson on how to die with dignity when the time comes.

When I think of the heroes on United 93 (now a movie), I imagine what a man thinks about before he puts his life on the line. How does he decide to let go? What message does he send to those he leaves behind? Can he really have dignity in those last final moments? Those brave people defined the word HERO for me, and many of them had to let go of an awful lot to be free to have right action in the right moment without hesitation.

That brings me to the point of this post. All of us will end up wishing we have more time. We don't. That moment will come when it comes, and training in the Martial Arts is not about making us want to throw our lives away at the earliest opportunity. Rather, it is about experiencing a richness of life so great that we use our lives to the best possible result, and be willing to accept that finality when the time comes (and it will for us all) and face it with dignity and without regret.

I have seen lots of people engage in self-destructive behaviors of a wide variety (and have been guilty of many myself). Now that my life is good, I would like those extra minutes/days/weeks I wasted back. I can't have them. They are gone. I have only now, and the unknown future ahead of me, to do the best I can until the inevitable happens.

My advice here is simple: when you smoke that cigarette, slam that shot, or use drugs (and the list of self-destructive behaviors is longer than I can list here) just remember...YOU WILL WANT THAT TIME BACK SOMEDAY...unfortunately, you can't have it again. It's gone.

Make today count. Please.

Osu!

How to Build a Technique

Here's a little metaphor I often consider...

We can consider techniques on many, many levels (the actual definition of "technique" is hard to make precise). One way that makes sense to me is to liken building my technique to building a house or other building.

The very first place is the foundation. Without a strong foundation, even house will fall in the slightest bad weather. This means that we train the kihon dosa until our legs and hips are strong, and out stance solid. This dachi is the foundation for all technique and under any circumstances, your feet should always return to kamae in order to maintain balance.

Usually, we find that when doing Jiyuwaza, once we start to lose the proper footwork of 180 degree turns and irimi of the hips, the rest of the techniques collapse. We begin to tilt or lean forward, and lose all the power. The loss of shisei is a direct result of the loss of dachi and no technique can manifest when that happens.

So it is important to consider how to make that foundation strong, and to always spend time in practice on the kihon dosa to give muscle memory to the movement of the feet and hips. Once this happens strongly and without the body rising up (actually the feeling should be one of sinking, not rising or floating) then we can begin to let the techniques manifest more fully and we will not get tired or lose kamae so easily.

Later, with a strong foundation, we can build a house of any size or shape. In particular, we can think of "zoning", a concept often used in JKD training, to divide angles of attack into different zones or quadrants. Western fencing also does this (and may be where Bruce Lee got it). Responding to zones is a lot easier than responding to specific attacks. We can also consider movement inside/outside of uke, high/medium/low zones for response, and other tactical elements, none of which work if the foundation of mobility is not strong.

Every martial art fundamentally needs the foundation of mobility in order to be effective, and Yoshinkan is no different. Please take time to work on this. It makes a big, big difference.

Osu!

Playing Like a Champion

Lots of little boys dream of being professional athletes.
Where I grew up, Chicago, we often dreamed of being baseball players,
just not with the hapless Chicago Cubs.

For me, though, the thought of being a professional athlete was often really scary.
I could not imagine standing in front of all those thousands of people and having to perform under that pressure. Even though as a professional speaker, I have done large presentations before (300 - 400 people) I still get the "butterflies". This is NOTHING compared to the feeling of having to sink the tournament winning putt, or score the overtime goal shot to win the Cup.
The pressure must be unbelievable. I have huge respect for those that can bear it.

The worst for me was to watch a batter fall into a slump. That's when you could really see their true character. You knew they didn't know why, but somehow ball and batt wouldn't meet. The last place they probably wanted to be was in the batter's box lining up, but they also know in their hearts that the batter's box was the only place their problem would ever really get solved.

The dojo can be a lot like this. The path is long, and has peaks and valleys. Sometimes we don't know why, and the blind faith in the training is all we have to guide us. Of course, the dojo is the only place these problems can be solved, too. We must keep the courage to continue training and trust that it will all become right over time. Our doubts will be replaced with the quiet confidence of achievement, and knowing, really knowing, that we CAN.

At the best of times, we students support each other and provide companionship along the path.
But never forget, that the answers can only come from your own training. Every part of you, mind, body, and spirit, has to come to an understanding; a Knowing. That can only happen with practice. Words alone will not suffice.

Hang in There. Before you know it you will be hitting home runs again.

Osu!

"No Mind", not Mindless

Trying to keep an open mind is never easy. It is especially not easy when you are in the dojo. For me, it can be a place of refuge when the rest of my life is out of control; my little laboratory where I can test out what I want to improve in my life. Of course, it is never easy.

We often talk about "no mind" in zen practice. In fact, it even gets hacked up in bubble gum budo movies like "The Last Samurai". The reality is that learning to free our minds is about learning to let go...and this takes practice and repetition to achieve.

My original Zazen teacher used to say that doing zazen was anything but peaceful. He would say that if you do zazen correctly, you sweat from the mental exertion of trying so hard to let go and be "empty". He would say that the kyosaku (the stick used by the teacher to hit people doing zazen) was not just to wake you up and help you focus, but to remind you that the concious effort of trying to let go of distracting thoughts is a fight.

Many times I go into the dojo and get onto the mat trying hard not to think about what we are doing. Trying to let my body just DO what it knows how to do. Some days you get a glimpse of the Truth of Aikido, which is Freedom in Motion. Sometimes, you just suck. Today was the latter. "No Mind" was just "mindless". A total lack of focus. No kime. No zanshin.

Today I was disappointed. I could feel sensei wanting to take the training up a notch. I could feel the intensity, and it is almost a tangible thing. Your partner wants you to push them harder; they want to push you harder. Both of you are trying to get closer to the Truth. But I couldn't hold on. The distractions came and I could not be "in the moment". I could not let go. I just haven't been training enough lately and I disappointed my partner. That disappoints me.

Part of understading the "harmony" of Aiki is the fact that you and your partner are in a constant struggle to discover the Truth about who you are, especially in relation to each other, and in relation to the rest of the people in your lives. Our crucible, the dojo, magnifies our fear, our doubt, our anger, our frustration. It also magnifies our courage, our mercy, and our grace.

I am always sad when I miss a chance to find the magic - the connection to the training partner that brings both people closer to the Truth.

I will be ready next time. I won't let you down. We will find it toegether.

Take the Ukemi you never had

"it looks like it doesn't work" "they are going with it" "it wouldn't work on me" "there's no way they can make someone fly through the air like that"...

All are comments I have overheard from people watching a demo of Aikido. All are wrong, but worth addressing since they speak to the heart of what we are training in the dojo.

Let's start here: THERE IS NO UKEMI IN THE REAL AIKIDO

Shocked yet? I am NOT kidding. When you employ these techniques for real (meaning when you or your loved ones are under threat of injury), there is no ukemi for the person you do them to. It does not look flowery, graceful, or elegant. It works; they break. The End.

In some of the techniques (shiho nage kuzushi, hiji shime) we feel a gentle taste of what the real aikido must be like: a bone shattering stop to a very sudden drop. For others, we understand that changing the angle, adding atemi, dropping to the mat (like sumi otoshi), or combining sweeps with the movements mean there is no way out for uke. Only an idiot would allow an opponent an escape to a technique. The people who developed modern aikido fought for their lives in real combat - they were not fools. Trust me, it is there for uke's safety in the dojo.

The aikido we see on the mats gives uke a way out so we keep from injuring each other and can continue to train for the real aikido. I am glad to say that for the most part we have avoided injury in the dojo, although we are getting to the stage where it is more likely than before. In the beginning, we are largely incapable of harming ourselves and each other because we have literally no control over our bodies. At the brown belt level we are dangerous for having enough control and knowledge to apply a technique, but lacking the full control to execute it safely. Feeling confident, we end up hurting our training partner or ourselves. Now is the time to be especially careful.

Jiyuwaza is the hardest part of it all. People think even that is the real Aikido, but it is not. It is the closest our training can get, and in many ways extremely beneficial to our being able to do real aikido, but that is not it. If it were it would only be one technique in length and then uke would be unable to continue (if still alive).

So if we are not doing the real aikido, then what is the point?
By our training, we learn to control our bodies, learn to find distance, timing, balance, grace, speed, power, and all of the other characteristics that will help form the foundation of real aikido. Through the jiyuwaza practice we learn to center ourselves, control our fear/anxiety, and expand our sphere of consciousness. We learn to focus ourselves and to free our body. But this is still not the real aikido. It is only the steps to train for the real aikido.

Now, I am the very first one to say that our higher learning and study of martial arts should imbue us with ethical beliefs. That mans NOT breaking people into pieces unless we have no choice. However, let's not forget martial means MARTIAL. These techniques were designed for a purpose, and that purpose is to dispatch opponents swiftly, efficiently, and completely. Seagal-sensei's aikido is closer to what happens when you really use these techniques, which is precisely why I am against ever doing so except under the gravest of circumstances. To indescriminately injure others causes potentially permanent damage to our psyches as well. It is simply not worth doing unless there really is no other way.

So next time you do a technique in the dojo, silently be thankful to shite for putting uke there, and don't forget to take it. And never forget what these techniques are meant to do. We have dangerous stuff here, and dangerous stuff needs to be handled with care and respect.

And next time you watch an aikido demo, marvel at the skills and control of the people, be awed by their ability to safely show you a glimpse of the real aikido, and above all, be glad they don't injure anyone.

Osu!

I think...I thought....I....

We always talk about circles in Aikido. Here's a big one to consider: We start by being unable to think, since we haven't even the most basic idea of what we are trying to do in the dojo. Next, we begin to think through everything, as if understanding with the mind could substitute for understanding with the body. However, in the end, we must return to nothingness - no thought.
Our learning follows a circular path, and we return to the place we started, but this time, with mastery, doing the techniques just as we would any other natural action, without thinking. Our goal is to no longer DO aikido, but to BE aikido.

Aikido is at once the most unnatural of motions, and yet also the most intuitive of motions.

Becuase as beginners we are unable to command our bodies, we move stiffly, and every motion requires an effort of will to effect. Later, we begin to dig deeper, and actually believe that our words will give us the insight our training has not yet delivered. But finally, we find the movements that were originally so challenging, are now no different that walking, standing, sitting, or any other action we normally take for granted. It is only by drilling the correct movements down into our instinct that we can free our minds of the unconcious desire to analyze and watch what we are doing.

In previous posts I have suggested training with a blindfold, since this develops awareness and sensistivity, and removes our reliance on looking at our feet and hands. Done properly, we should "feel" the location of our body (and uke's) in space relative to each other, and our motion should be based on that feeling. Sadly, the more you think about it, the less you can DO it.

I wish it were only that bad. To make it worse, when you are thinking or speaking or otherwise distracted, you cannot project KI, and without that all techniques fail to manifest properly anyway. The effort becomes frustrating and incomplete.

It is very easy to say "stop thinking", but that is like telling someone to get the words of a song they heard on the radio out of their head - no matter what you do they just keep coming back. Concentration and focus in the dojo are what help us learn to detach our over-analyzing natures, and make ourselves simple again. In this way, simple is good.

If you have to close your eyes - do. If you have to blindfold yourself - do. Whatever it takes, practice keeping your focus and projecting your energy, and LET GO. FLOW. Let your body be free to do what it knows how to do.

And then watch your skills go to the next level.

See you on the mats.

Elbows and Knees; Knees and Elbows

The other day, someone asked me what to present as a uniqueness of Yoshinkan.
Having done a variety of aiki styles in the past, I would have to say that apart from the usual things everyone says (focus on practicality, efficient motion, mastry of the basics, etc.) there are two things that really stand out in my mind as being strongly emphasized in Yoshinkan (at least more than in other styles I have seen): Knees and Elbows.

In Yoshinkan, the knees are critical. It is precisely the use of the knees that allows us to start Uke's motion moving and prepare for the shifting of our hips and body weight. When we fail to use the knees, we end up disconnecting our hips and are forced to compensate with strength of the arms instead of strength of the hips/whole body. Knees help cause Uke to cross the centerline in techniques like Shomen uchi Ikkajo Osae 2 and knees help guide uke to the mat without letting our body weight come up. In short, they are a vital connection of uke to our hip and to the floor, and anchor and a lever to move uke by shifting our weight. Without the knee movement, however, we cannot transfer the hip power efficiently (if at all).

Elbows are another key differentiator between Yoshinkan and other styles.
In Yoshinkan, we like to control Uke's balance through controlling uke's shoulder, and one of the most effective and important ways to do this is via Uke's elbow. The circular "rowing" motion of Ikkajo and Yonkajo are both specifically designed to use the wrist to elbow to shoulder pathway to control uke's body, and Yoshinkan is one of the few styles that actually grabs the elbow to manipulate it (many styles focus on wrist more than elbow and fail to connect to uke's shoulder as a consequence). Of course, techniques like hiji shime go without saying that the elbow is a central part of the technique.

One of the best places to work on this is during the basic tai no henko and hiriki no yosei movements, which are specifically designed to help us practice these two vital points. I suggest doing the motions slowly, paying particular attention to how you use your elbows and knees, since these will manifest during all of the other techniques.

So in closing, I suggest specifically visualizing the movement of your knees and elbows before training, and see if it doesn't tighten up your technique and give you a greater sense of control, which is what Yoshinkan is all about: control of yourself and control of Uke.

Osu!

John